That One Little Thing
By: Sage360
All she could see was the little stomach, with the little tubes running in and out. Adam had hooked the child up to several monitors and put her in an incubation unit. Her little heart was trying all it could to keep on.
Several hours later, they were in their same places. Adam running to and from in the lab, with Jesse assisting him on the computers. Shalimar stood cross-armed at the door watching Brennen, who sat by his daughter's side. The child's tiny hand sat wrapped around his pinkie finger.
Lexa still could not enter the room.
Through the blue laboratory glass, she watched as nothing changed. This one thing, this one moment had become the most enduring nightmare of her life. If she could remember anything, it was the one time Jesse told her that one day, her walls would crumble, and she'd no longer be able to block her emotions. From anything or anyone. Damn, she thought. He's a fuckin' know it all.
The brunette finally managed to turn from the glass, and exhaustedly made her way to the nearest couch. In the short hours since Amber stopped breathing, fatigue found it choice to take advantage of her body. Exhausted, she curled up on the tan cushions, but found herself too tired to sleep. It would take everything in her to walk back towards the lab, and look at her daughter. At that moment, that was something she couldn't take.
"Lex,,,," Her head lifted at the sound of his voice. And though their eyes didn't connect, she could feel his closeness. Her hand pulled from the underside of her face to reach for his, and connected easily with his fingers. In that instant, he moved beside the woman, and lifted her head so she could rest in his lap. Strong fingers busied themselves between rubbing her exposed arm and stroking the dark strands.
Jesse Kilmartin watched her silently, finding tragic how in that moment, she allowed herself to be weak with him. His blue eyes glowed through the falling streaks of his own hair, and his mind could find nothing to say. His heart was breaking for her, and Brennen.
"I can't look at her." She finally whispered. Jesse blinked back from his thoughts, making sure he'd actually heard her voice. "I'm terrible for that."
"No, you're not. Give yourself a little time to rest. Brennen won't leaver her till you are ready."
Lexa looked up into the face above her. The blue eyes smiled, along with the similar gesture playing on the curves off his lips. Jesse had never seemed more beautiful than at that moment. If the strength had been in her, she would have reached up to stroke his face. Settling for his hold, right then, was enough. "How long has it been?"
"Going on,,," The molecular's face turned toward his raised wrist in a gesture that made those locks fall into his eyes. "Three hours now."
"And Adam?"
"He's trying." The woman found herself staring at the cold granite of the wall across from them. It allowed her to focus on the feel of him. "He will find a way, Lex."
She didn't miss the distinct note in his voice. Jesse knew something she didn't. At that point, being too weak to pry, she could only yield to his secrets. "Jess, whatever you know, I trust you kept it because you cared."
His eyes widened at that. Watching as her face turned to his, the man tried desperately to find words. None would come. And Lexa saw it all on his face.
"Adam knew this would happen, didn't he?"
The blonde looked away, hoping the pause would give him an explanation. "Yeah. I confronted him about it a few days ago."
"Does Brennen?"
"No,,,No, he doesn't."
The brunette resumed her facing the wall. "That's probably a good thing."
"Lex, I will see to it that Adam saves your baby. I promise."
Her eyes closed at the very thought of focusing back on his hold. "Thanks, Jess. But, I won't hold you to it."
Another hour passed before Shalimar moved from her space. She stood behind Brennen, running a small hand over his shoulder. He didn't move. For the second time that day, she felt rejected by him. The first had been in the hallway, when he sent her to the lab, so he could deal with Lexa. She knew he didn't mean it to be, so distancing. But the woman couldn't help how she felt. Come on, Shal. She reminded herself. You two had the most wonderful moment. Now, he just needs you to be there. Stop being selfish.
But it wasn't her human side that was being unreasonable. Her feral had marked him long ago, and that side not only saw Lexa but her baby as a threat. Even now, as she looked past her love and into the small medic- unit, the tiny life breathing so hard only agitated her. She did care for Amber - she was Brennen's daughter. But she was also Lexa's, and though her heart of hearts knew it wasn't by their choice, she felt cheated on. Violated. And ferals didn't take violation so well.
"Shall." The elemental whispered when finally looking up from his child.
"Yeah," she tried to grin.
"Would you go check on Lex, for me? I'll be okay."
The dark eyes of her love had her heart breaking. "Sure. Do you need anything?"
"No. Just check on her."
She could tell he wanted to be alone, if just to talk with the child or breakdown. And she understood, kissing his cheek softly before leaving. Just steps outside the hallway, she saw her newest teammate curled up weakly in Jesse's arms. Freezing in her place, which brought on a new kind of distaste. Defensiveness.
"Lexa." The blonde asked, stepping towards them slowly. "Do you need anything?"
The brunette only looked at her. And that looked had made the feral feel more naked than she'd been with Brennen. Lexa turned back to the wall. "No."
"Jess, why don't you go get her some water. I'll sit with her." Caught between the underlying tome of his sister, and the neediness of the woman he wanted. Jesse looked down at Lexa. She nodded her okay, and let him leave.
Shalimar stepped forward slowly, watching the woman sit up. Her arms folded in thought. "Are you sure you don't-"
"Cut it, Shalimar."
The blonde paused; making sure her ears heard what they did. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You don't have to play games anymore."
"Lexa, what are you talking about?"
The brunette rolled her eyes before continuing. "The act. These last few days. I've seen how you look at my daughter."
"Okay, I thought we already had this talk." Shalimar replied.
"I did. Evidently you didn't listen." The feral in Shalimar's eyes dared to glow. But she held back. Lexa was a distraught woman. "I told you my child was no threat to you and Brennen. You knew that this situation wasn't one we could control. And you still have resentment towards my daughter."
"Okay, I'm gonna leave, cause you are upset. I don't want you to say anything you'll regret."
"Shit! Shalimar! I've SEEN how you look at her. The faces you make when he's with her! I can't believe I even let you hold my fuckin' child!"
"You need to calm down!"
"And you need to stop lying! You resent my daughter because she's not yours and Brennen's. She's in there fighting for her life and you don't give a damn."
"That's not true, Lexa."
"Then tell me," the brunette began. "Tell me that from the moment you found out who her parents were, you were okay with it."
"Of course I wasn't okay with it!" The feral yelled.
"I bet."
"But that was at first. We all had to adjust to the idea of,,," The brokenness of her words only prolonged the situation. "The idea of it all."
"You can't even say it." Lexa spat. "You can't say out of your own mouth that Brennen and I have a child together."
"Lexa," Shalimar nearly growled in warning. "Stop it."
"When you stop lying. Don't come in my face acting like you're okay with my daughter! At least be honest about it!"
"You want honest." The feral replied. "You want honest. Let me be 'honest'. 'Honest' is seeing Jesse's heartbreak when he found out Brennen was the father! 'Honest' is watching you and the man I love, two people who normally hate each other, bond over the one thing I'd die to give him. When you found out, you didn't want to believe he was Amber's father! You and he play house over that brat like nothing else matters, and we're all okay with it! And I'm not! 'You' have a 'baby', a life with the man I love! YOU! Lexa Pierce! You've been nothing but a bitch since you got here. Then this kid comes along and you act like everything's okay. Brennen plays daddy and you just erase all the tension you've caused. So you're right. I'm not happy about 'that baby' being here or being yours." Shalimar paused feeling how red her face had become. "Are you happy now?"
Lexa stood, arms folded. Her ice blue eyes blazed through the strands of brunette hair falling on her face. "Ecstatic." She replied sarcastically. "Feel better?"
"SHALIMAR!"
The feral opened her mouth only to freeze at that. His voice was the last thing she needed to hear right then. Oh God! She thought. How long has he been there?
The blonde turned slowly, coming face to face with Brennen. His eyes held something she'd never seen before, and she didn't like that it was looking at her. Behind him, Adam stood silent. Neither woman had realized how loud they were till that moment. Even Jesse stood silent, having walked in on it all.
"Brennen,,," the blonde replied. "Brennen, I'm-"
"She's gone." He muttered.
"What?" Lexa interrupted. Her ears had not heard what they did.
"I did all I could," Adam started, his own words broken. "But her heart,,,it just gave out."
"No,,," Lexa started before pushing past the group. Her voice became a wreck of shrieking. "NO!" Inside the lab, she dropped to her knees. Amber lay still under the smallest cloth. The monitors around her silent and cold. The brunette screamed at the top of her lungs, unable to do anything else. Jesse pushed towards the lab, purposely ignoring Adam.
"Brennen,,," Shalimar started. She stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Brennen, I'm so sorry."
He flinched in her hold, wanting to return the embrace. But the wall was there, and her words sat fresh in his ears. "Thanks." He pulled back slowly before walking away.
"Brennen!"
"Leave me alone, Shal." Was all she heard. Before she realized, she was in Adam's arms crying. Her sobs running alongside Lexa's as they echoed through Sanctuary. Everything had fallen apart.
By: Sage360
All she could see was the little stomach, with the little tubes running in and out. Adam had hooked the child up to several monitors and put her in an incubation unit. Her little heart was trying all it could to keep on.
Several hours later, they were in their same places. Adam running to and from in the lab, with Jesse assisting him on the computers. Shalimar stood cross-armed at the door watching Brennen, who sat by his daughter's side. The child's tiny hand sat wrapped around his pinkie finger.
Lexa still could not enter the room.
Through the blue laboratory glass, she watched as nothing changed. This one thing, this one moment had become the most enduring nightmare of her life. If she could remember anything, it was the one time Jesse told her that one day, her walls would crumble, and she'd no longer be able to block her emotions. From anything or anyone. Damn, she thought. He's a fuckin' know it all.
The brunette finally managed to turn from the glass, and exhaustedly made her way to the nearest couch. In the short hours since Amber stopped breathing, fatigue found it choice to take advantage of her body. Exhausted, she curled up on the tan cushions, but found herself too tired to sleep. It would take everything in her to walk back towards the lab, and look at her daughter. At that moment, that was something she couldn't take.
"Lex,,,," Her head lifted at the sound of his voice. And though their eyes didn't connect, she could feel his closeness. Her hand pulled from the underside of her face to reach for his, and connected easily with his fingers. In that instant, he moved beside the woman, and lifted her head so she could rest in his lap. Strong fingers busied themselves between rubbing her exposed arm and stroking the dark strands.
Jesse Kilmartin watched her silently, finding tragic how in that moment, she allowed herself to be weak with him. His blue eyes glowed through the falling streaks of his own hair, and his mind could find nothing to say. His heart was breaking for her, and Brennen.
"I can't look at her." She finally whispered. Jesse blinked back from his thoughts, making sure he'd actually heard her voice. "I'm terrible for that."
"No, you're not. Give yourself a little time to rest. Brennen won't leaver her till you are ready."
Lexa looked up into the face above her. The blue eyes smiled, along with the similar gesture playing on the curves off his lips. Jesse had never seemed more beautiful than at that moment. If the strength had been in her, she would have reached up to stroke his face. Settling for his hold, right then, was enough. "How long has it been?"
"Going on,,," The molecular's face turned toward his raised wrist in a gesture that made those locks fall into his eyes. "Three hours now."
"And Adam?"
"He's trying." The woman found herself staring at the cold granite of the wall across from them. It allowed her to focus on the feel of him. "He will find a way, Lex."
She didn't miss the distinct note in his voice. Jesse knew something she didn't. At that point, being too weak to pry, she could only yield to his secrets. "Jess, whatever you know, I trust you kept it because you cared."
His eyes widened at that. Watching as her face turned to his, the man tried desperately to find words. None would come. And Lexa saw it all on his face.
"Adam knew this would happen, didn't he?"
The blonde looked away, hoping the pause would give him an explanation. "Yeah. I confronted him about it a few days ago."
"Does Brennen?"
"No,,,No, he doesn't."
The brunette resumed her facing the wall. "That's probably a good thing."
"Lex, I will see to it that Adam saves your baby. I promise."
Her eyes closed at the very thought of focusing back on his hold. "Thanks, Jess. But, I won't hold you to it."
Another hour passed before Shalimar moved from her space. She stood behind Brennen, running a small hand over his shoulder. He didn't move. For the second time that day, she felt rejected by him. The first had been in the hallway, when he sent her to the lab, so he could deal with Lexa. She knew he didn't mean it to be, so distancing. But the woman couldn't help how she felt. Come on, Shal. She reminded herself. You two had the most wonderful moment. Now, he just needs you to be there. Stop being selfish.
But it wasn't her human side that was being unreasonable. Her feral had marked him long ago, and that side not only saw Lexa but her baby as a threat. Even now, as she looked past her love and into the small medic- unit, the tiny life breathing so hard only agitated her. She did care for Amber - she was Brennen's daughter. But she was also Lexa's, and though her heart of hearts knew it wasn't by their choice, she felt cheated on. Violated. And ferals didn't take violation so well.
"Shall." The elemental whispered when finally looking up from his child.
"Yeah," she tried to grin.
"Would you go check on Lex, for me? I'll be okay."
The dark eyes of her love had her heart breaking. "Sure. Do you need anything?"
"No. Just check on her."
She could tell he wanted to be alone, if just to talk with the child or breakdown. And she understood, kissing his cheek softly before leaving. Just steps outside the hallway, she saw her newest teammate curled up weakly in Jesse's arms. Freezing in her place, which brought on a new kind of distaste. Defensiveness.
"Lexa." The blonde asked, stepping towards them slowly. "Do you need anything?"
The brunette only looked at her. And that looked had made the feral feel more naked than she'd been with Brennen. Lexa turned back to the wall. "No."
"Jess, why don't you go get her some water. I'll sit with her." Caught between the underlying tome of his sister, and the neediness of the woman he wanted. Jesse looked down at Lexa. She nodded her okay, and let him leave.
Shalimar stepped forward slowly, watching the woman sit up. Her arms folded in thought. "Are you sure you don't-"
"Cut it, Shalimar."
The blonde paused; making sure her ears heard what they did. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You don't have to play games anymore."
"Lexa, what are you talking about?"
The brunette rolled her eyes before continuing. "The act. These last few days. I've seen how you look at my daughter."
"Okay, I thought we already had this talk." Shalimar replied.
"I did. Evidently you didn't listen." The feral in Shalimar's eyes dared to glow. But she held back. Lexa was a distraught woman. "I told you my child was no threat to you and Brennen. You knew that this situation wasn't one we could control. And you still have resentment towards my daughter."
"Okay, I'm gonna leave, cause you are upset. I don't want you to say anything you'll regret."
"Shit! Shalimar! I've SEEN how you look at her. The faces you make when he's with her! I can't believe I even let you hold my fuckin' child!"
"You need to calm down!"
"And you need to stop lying! You resent my daughter because she's not yours and Brennen's. She's in there fighting for her life and you don't give a damn."
"That's not true, Lexa."
"Then tell me," the brunette began. "Tell me that from the moment you found out who her parents were, you were okay with it."
"Of course I wasn't okay with it!" The feral yelled.
"I bet."
"But that was at first. We all had to adjust to the idea of,,," The brokenness of her words only prolonged the situation. "The idea of it all."
"You can't even say it." Lexa spat. "You can't say out of your own mouth that Brennen and I have a child together."
"Lexa," Shalimar nearly growled in warning. "Stop it."
"When you stop lying. Don't come in my face acting like you're okay with my daughter! At least be honest about it!"
"You want honest." The feral replied. "You want honest. Let me be 'honest'. 'Honest' is seeing Jesse's heartbreak when he found out Brennen was the father! 'Honest' is watching you and the man I love, two people who normally hate each other, bond over the one thing I'd die to give him. When you found out, you didn't want to believe he was Amber's father! You and he play house over that brat like nothing else matters, and we're all okay with it! And I'm not! 'You' have a 'baby', a life with the man I love! YOU! Lexa Pierce! You've been nothing but a bitch since you got here. Then this kid comes along and you act like everything's okay. Brennen plays daddy and you just erase all the tension you've caused. So you're right. I'm not happy about 'that baby' being here or being yours." Shalimar paused feeling how red her face had become. "Are you happy now?"
Lexa stood, arms folded. Her ice blue eyes blazed through the strands of brunette hair falling on her face. "Ecstatic." She replied sarcastically. "Feel better?"
"SHALIMAR!"
The feral opened her mouth only to freeze at that. His voice was the last thing she needed to hear right then. Oh God! She thought. How long has he been there?
The blonde turned slowly, coming face to face with Brennen. His eyes held something she'd never seen before, and she didn't like that it was looking at her. Behind him, Adam stood silent. Neither woman had realized how loud they were till that moment. Even Jesse stood silent, having walked in on it all.
"Brennen,,," the blonde replied. "Brennen, I'm-"
"She's gone." He muttered.
"What?" Lexa interrupted. Her ears had not heard what they did.
"I did all I could," Adam started, his own words broken. "But her heart,,,it just gave out."
"No,,," Lexa started before pushing past the group. Her voice became a wreck of shrieking. "NO!" Inside the lab, she dropped to her knees. Amber lay still under the smallest cloth. The monitors around her silent and cold. The brunette screamed at the top of her lungs, unable to do anything else. Jesse pushed towards the lab, purposely ignoring Adam.
"Brennen,,," Shalimar started. She stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Brennen, I'm so sorry."
He flinched in her hold, wanting to return the embrace. But the wall was there, and her words sat fresh in his ears. "Thanks." He pulled back slowly before walking away.
"Brennen!"
"Leave me alone, Shal." Was all she heard. Before she realized, she was in Adam's arms crying. Her sobs running alongside Lexa's as they echoed through Sanctuary. Everything had fallen apart.