A/N: Whoooooooooooooooooooooo! Until the 18th of December (REMEMBER THE DATE AND REVERE IT!), I'll be taking a stab in the dark and using the Book! Yes, all you freaky fans, we ascend, or descend, into the TWO TOWERS! Well, not just yet, BUT...
...
Right.
Off we go, then.
*
'Oh yes yes yes, Son of Gondor's
dead,
he's lying at the bottom of a
waterfall!
He's been stuck full of arrows,
he took them all,
chucking sanity out like rolling
ball,
stuck like a pin cushion you
pick up at the mall,
oh yes yes yes, Son of Gondor's
dead!
He sword was chopped in many pieces,
horn a cloven into two,
halve and halve put them together,
shard and shard and here we go!
Off another day you see,
Merry, Pippin, Lurtz and me!
Off alone to God-knows-where,
but after all just who would
care?
Stuck under the armpit of an
orc,
with after shave like a dead
stork,
we pound away to somewhere new,
just us special, kidnapped few!
Oh goody, goody, I've got my shirt,
and couple of frying pans or
two,
don't be stupid just be curt,
cause in the end three of us
slew!'
Alex West, though kidnapped and rid of weapons, was singing merrily, gaining agonized moans from the orcs and rolled eyes from his fellow kidnapped friends, Merry and Pippin. Hoo boy.
*
Lara looked around. Left: The elf. Right: The human. Behind: The dwarf. The front: A HELLAVUA lot of dead orcs. Preeettyy sight, but I: No Pippin or Merry, II: No Frodo or Sam and III: NO Alex. PERFECT. Lara sighed. What was she to do? There was nothing to do. Legolas was pulling the boat single handedly down to the shore, totally ignoring the fact that Aragorn did not look the least as if he was going to go after his kidnapped comrades. Gimli was pulling desperately at a grizzly bit of orc that had embedded itself into his beard. His beard, unfortunately due to nature, was embedded to him. Lara shrugged and methodically used the remaining rounds in her (many) guns to pick off straddling orcs and Uruk-Hai. First, she took out a nice, sleek, AK rifle, shot down two remaining orcs, then shoved in a new round and shoved in back into her Bag of A Million Proportions. Secondly, taking a huge 9 MM sawed off shotgun, she bashed out two more Uruks with deadly precision. Shoving in another clip, she lock and loaded four more guns before jamming in full clips into two Desert Eagles 0.7s and tucking them neatly into hip holsters set around, well, her hips. Aragorn was shoving in various blades of many, many sizes, such as a throwing blade down in a hidden wrist guard sheath, a short bow that could somehow be folded down to a nearly minute size on his back, Anduril attached to his waist, five short swords attached together at his hips, a long, lightweight white hafted elven dagger discretely hidden down his left leg, a few shuriken-like discs that were saw edged down the other wrist guard, down his right leg a whole array of strange drug-herbs that blinded, sent to sleep, or dazed opponents, and who could forget, even in this run on sentence, the four hidden throwing daggers down each boot. Oh, did I miss the last few razors that were slipped into a secret compartment in the sole of his boots? Pity that Isildur's heir never used it to shave. Legolas carried only his white hafted knife, and the great Bow of Galadriel gifted to him. Gimli, ever the dwarf, carried his axe.
Anyway, the Prince of Greenwood finally realized that they were not going to go after Frodo and Sam. Aragorn looked pointedly at him as he adjusted his wrist guard so that the hidden dagger would not kill him by accident. Legolas spoke.
'Then we are not following them?'
'The Ring is beyond our reach now.'
Gimli groaned as he heard that.
'Then it has all been in vain. The Fellowship is broken.'
Lara grinned. Maybe then she could get back and sleep.
'Not if we hold true to ourselves. We will not leave Merry, Pippin, and... erm... Axle? Ale? Ah. Alex, to torment and death. Take only what you need. We travel light.'
Lara grimaced, but could not help smirking at Aragorn's last line. Travel light? Aragorn travelled with more weapons than rations. Or shampoo or soap, for that matter.