"NO!" Magenta cried, "it's not true, tell them it's not." Riff Raff took her hands in his. "Only once to see what it felt like…I"
"What the hell?" Matt interrupted, "you're going to kill him for wearing fishnets stockings?"
Frank looked at the Trannies and they laughed, "fishnets Matthew? Oh no, not at all. I'm having both of them executed for Riff Raff wearing INFERIOR quality fishnets."
Matt snorted, "that's ridiculous."
Kane coughed, "shut up Matt."
The Hurricane grabbed hold of the nearest two people, "can you feel the love?" which unfortunately for him was Victoria and Columbia. Victoria, who swiped at him, clawing his face and Columbia who was absolutely infatuated with him and his little green… tattoo.
The insistent pulling on his pants attracted Kane's attention. He turned to face the Hurricane, whom Columbia was smothering.
"Help me. Get it off." Hurricane whined. It was obvious to all but Columbia that he was kinda creeped out.
"Not now." Kane dismissed him with a wave of his hand. His main mission was to stop Matt fighting with someone who could not only have access to a phone to get them the hell out of there but that also claimed to be royalty.
"SILENCE!" Frank called, "Riff Raff." Frank screamed despite the fact that Riff Raff was no more than two feet away from him. He glared in a way that showed the whites of his eyes, "bring back my Rocky."
Riff Raff humbly bowed and went about adjusting the sonic oscillator and preparing in general. But Magenta wasn't about to let Frank have peace, not without explaining to these 'people' why she hated him in the first place.
"If you created Rocky in the first place why can't you reanimate him? You're a fraud, Frank. N. Furter and your family is the biggest bunch of inbred, steaming social animals I have ever had the displeasure of serving under." Magenta charged up to the trannies that were assembled on the ledge. "Why do you think that the Crown Prince of Transsexual was sent away? He is unintelligent and…"
Columbia let go of the Hurricane's arm and tried to pull Magenta away. While Riff Raff worked to get the reanimation done as fast as he could to distract Frank.
"NO" Frank boomed at Columbia, "I like my SERVANTS to voice their opinions." The Trannies laughed and blew into their party whistles.
He smoothed over his wild black hair, "the reason, Magenta, Is that I am the Crown Prince of Transsexual and am therefore too important to recreate a creature that I have already wasted time creating. Why should I waste my precious time on something that has been done once…twice… maybe more." Lita's presence in the lab was starting to distract Frank and Matt didn't like it.
Kane was the only thing holding him back from beating Frank's face to the same color as his lipstick, (Frank's not Matt's, lipstick that is).
Frank snapped out of it on his own after a while,
"And because I am so important I would like Riff Raff. Like Riff Raff? Nay I command Riff Raff to tell everyone here how I did it." Frank clapped his hands at Riff Raff and the little man ran to untie his master's gown.
Riff Raff, respected scientist of transsexual, walked slowly to the tank that now held Rocky's body.
He cleared his throat, this was his spotlight time and he was going to use it.
"This should be good." Steven Richards muttered. Victoria jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. Despite being a psycho bitch she wanted to know what was going on for future references and possible experimentation of her own.
Madame Bloodbathe: perhaps it was interest that linked Victoria to Riff Raff. Then again, it could have been the bitterness with which both faced the world that united their souls and forged a close bond despite their knowing very little about each other.
Riff Raff stood before everyone and pulled back the red sheet covering the deep tank, which was still stained from the previous animation.
"The essential ingredient in human existence is color. In fact to create life all one needs is the seven spectral colors to be combined with white light. The higher end of the spectrum creates the body. The tissue, the muscle. The gore." He explained gesturing where appropriate to the colored residue of the glass. "Whereas the lower end of the spectrum controls the personality or lack there of. To create a human suitable for" he glanced at Frank "the Master's purposes the object is to sustain the ratio of muscle: lust in 2:3. This incorporates 2 parts red for every 3 parts indigo. The lust itself will sink to the bottom of the tank as the lowest and most primal of the humans instincts."
Upon looking around the room Riff Raff realized that no one besides Magenta and maybe some of the stranger humans would know what he was talking about. He sighed.
"To make a human you have to make a rainbow."
Muttering and whispers filled the lab, Riff Raff looked at Magenta, he could see that it pained her to see her brother reduced to teaching spectra-biology to inferior minds, his glance comforted her and she relaxed a little bit.
He looked at Frank who was still paying attention to the female humans and how different they were to the last one, Riff Raff raised his hands for silence.
"However to reanimate life the subject must be destroyed in order to remake the original substance in an identical form. With all the lacerations that Rocky has suffered it would be dangerous even fatal to heal him and reanimate him at the same time. Columbia only had one major wound and it is healing as we speak. But for Rocky it will be the only way."
"Not if you stepped up the reactor power another point and changed the ratio to 3:2 in the favor of muscle over lust. His intelligence even his 'appetite' would remain the same but it should heal and maybe enhance his former physical state."
There was silence in the lab. Frank turned his eyes away from Lita. He looked at Victoria. Never taking his eyes off her, noting how different she was to the others.
"Riff Raff! Is what this woman says correct? Could it be done?" Frank found it particularly enticing that this female was the only one that understood the complex and uninteresting world of spectra-biology.
Columbia pleaded with Magenta to let it go but she was fighting a losing battle. Not only was Frankie distracted by that woman but so was Magenta's beloved Riff Raff. Columbia prayed that Magenta hadn't noticed and prepared herself for the outburst to follow.
"Why don't you know? Master. Surely if Rocky was your creation you would know this, huh? This proves that Riff Raff created Rocky and you know it."
Frank ignored Magenta looking instead to her, "can it be done?" he walked slowly to Victoria. He handed her his lab coat never breaking eye contact with the dark-haired diva.
Victoria snatched the coat and stomped up next to the tank. "I can't see a reason, why not."
She looked at Riff Raff and he shrugged.
She took Frank's place behind the tank where she could reach the distilled color taps. And Riff Raff took up his place by the control panel. At Victoria's command he switched on the sonic oscillator, stepped up the power input another point and lowered the distilled color taps on the stroboscope platform.
Hurricane nudged Steven Richards, "feeling left out?"
"I'm feeling free." Richards replied with a smile the size of a small African nation.
Victoria was really concentrating on the tank. She failed to notice the looks of admiration from Riff Raff and Frank N Furter, She turned the taps carefully. 3 parts Red. 1 part Orange. 1 part Yellow. 1 part Green. 1 part Blue. 2 parts Indigo. 1 part Violet.
There was barely any sound in the lab as Victoria turned off all the taps and looked over at Riff Raff. Riff Raff pressed the button altering the frequency on the light.
Kane stood in front of Columbia and Magenta. The Hurricane was next to Steven Richards and Frank N Furter. Matt and Lita stood next to Kane. The Trannies stood with baited breath.
A flash of bright white light flooded the lab. It was gone as soon as it had appeared.
"MY BABY!" Frank screeched. Rocky sat up he looked very confused but was overjoyed to see his master and lover alive and well.
Frank ran to hug 'his' creation. "I am indeed grateful for your services. Miss um…"
"Victoria" said Riff Raff, he seemed quite taken by her.
"Right, Miss Victoria." Frank beamed.
"Not Miss! Just Victoria, Master." Riff Raff almost yelled.
Frank had Rocky back and was losing interest in the girl, "whatever. I am most grateful. However can I repay you?"
"Don't kill him." Victoria was looking at Riff Raff the same way he was looking at her. "Let me keep him."
Frank looked at the other wrestlers who shrugged, laughed or pretended to hurl. Quite puzzled by the differing reactions Frank cast an eye in Magenta's direction. Columbia was physically restraining her. Kane had gotten out of her way. Magenta was torn apart by the thought that Riff Raff could love another and so wanted to exact bloodied revenge on Victoria the first chance she got. And Frank wasn't the only one to notice.
Frank looked back at the wrestlers. Steven Richards was so happy he was almost crying. The Hurricane was laughing at him. Matt Hardy was also laughing at him. Lita on the other hand was very concerned with Magenta's state of distress. Frank smiled he could use this to his advantage. For the first time in a long time Frank felt the wheels in his head turning. A thought occurred to him.
"Very well," Frank scowled at Riff Raff, "Victoria. You may keep him, he will be spared."
The Trannies howled in a chorus of despair. They wanted an execution. They wanted the scandal to brighten up their rather dull lives. They wanted something to gossip about behind closed doors back on Transsexual.
Columbia let go of Magenta and they embraced, laughing and jumping up and down in delight. Kane had moved away from them again and was then forced to move back when Steven Richards embraced Matt Hardy and attempted to do the same. Lita sighed with relief, now everything would be fine. Only the Hurricane (as super heroes do) became suspicious when he saw the crooked smile on Frank's face.
"Magenta." Frank voiced, "why are you celebrating?"
Magenta flushed pink, let go of Columbia and began singing Frank's praises, "thank you for sparing Riff Raff, master. I am eternally in your debt. Your generosity knows no bounds. I…"
Frank looked very smug, "I'm glad to hear that because I said Riff Raff would be spared. Not you."
Magenta's face fell. Tears welled up in her eyes as she reached for Columbia. Lita ran to comfort her. Riff Raff moved away from Victoria to look at his precious little sister. He saw the fear in her eyes and turned from her. The Trannies howled again, this time in triumph they would have their execution after all.
Frank smiled at her, aware of the cruel irony, "I'm sorry if you found my words misleading."
"That's not fair!" Matt Hardy stepped in front of her. "What right have you to…"
"I HAVE EVERY RIGHT! Now look what you've done you've made me raise my voice." Frank dabbed at his own forehead with an embroidered handkerchief. They had fallen for it and now it was time to ensnare them.
Frank dropped the small piece of material and put his hands on his hips, "however… if you could provide a substitute for Magenta I might reconsider. How about you?"
Matt stood up straight, "if that's what it takes."
Frank waved him aside, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to her." Frank held out his hand to Lita. "Will you come with me, my dear?"
Lita looked at Magenta, who looked up with pleading eyes. She looked around the lab everyone was staring at her except this human. How could she expect this earthling to pay for her mistakes? She looked at her again and to her surprise and relief Lita nodded and wiped away her own tears. Matt seized Lita's arm and pulled her away from Magenta and Frank N Furter.
"You can't kill her. Take me or take Kane."
Kane turned from a conversation with the Hurricane, " you leave me out of this."
Frank looked from Lita to Matt to Kane in genuine horror, " I wasn't going to have her killed, oh no, no, no. I was going to have Magenta killed. For Lita I have other plans."
"Like what?" Columbia squeaked.
Frank glared at her and she looked down at the ground. With considerable difficulty Frank got down on one knee.
"Lita. My dear red haired beauty. Will you become my queen?"
Rocky started clapping to break the awkward silence. The trannies blew their whistles and noisemakers. Kane coughed, the Hurricane gasped. Matt passed out.
"B…but you have Rocky. What could you possibly need m…me for." Lita stammered revolting images filling her mind.
"I'm sure I could think of something." Frank stood back on his feet and looked into her eyes.
Lita shuddered. That was a nasty visual. Lita looked past Frank to Matt still unconscious on the floor. "Let me think about it?" she asked cautiously well aware of his strange mood swings and sudden changes of heart.
Frank looked her up and down, "well seeing as you're such an exceptional beauty. Go on." Frank pranced away, Rocky shuffled along behind him.
Madame Bloodbathe: well boys and girls. What would be Lita's answer? Was she prepared to drop everything and become the ruler of transsexual with Frank or would she let Magenta be executed for the fault of her brother?
And what of Riff Raff, now entranced by Victoria, had he even noticed that Magenta's life hung in the balance? We shall have to see.
Columbia walked down the upper corridor with Kane carrying Matt between them. They threw him into a room glowing red.
Kane walked silently behind her until he noticed the single tire marks covering the carpet.
"Did someone ride a motorbike around inside here?" he asked.
Columbia bent down and ran her fingers along some of the stains.
"Yeah," she sniffed, "Eddie. He rode his motorbike everywhere. He…he was an okay guy. You know." She was obviously hurt by the memory, so Kane didn't press it any longer. Instead he put his arm around her, an unusual idea pounding at his brain.
"You know, I have this brother…"
The Hurricane was exploring downstairs, there was something going on and he wasn't sure what. He wasn't content until he had looked all the trophy animals in the eye. He noticed that most of these trophies weren't of the animal's faces at all. Many of the trophies were the animal's front paws, there was even an elephant's trunk and Steven Richards face.
"Whatcha looking for?" it asked.
The Hurricane leapt back, "that's not funny." He messed up the hair on the 'trophy' knowing that Steven couldn't get his hands out from behind the wall without getting stuck.
Steven pulled his face out of the blank trophy plaque and came out of the doors to the Hurricane's right. "Whatcha looking for? Some alien conspiracy? Wait let me guess this castle is actually a rocket that came from a far-away planet in a galaxy we've never heard of, right?"
The Hurricane gaped at him in shock, "how could you possibly know that? That's classified information. Well, sort of. You see this castle isn't a rocket ship but it does fly."
Steven Richards tried to stop laughing but he couldn't. "Just like you, huh?"
"He doesn't look much like a rocket ship to me." Riff Raff materialized from nowhere, Victoria by his side.
Richards jumped a mile, "no I meant he isn't supposed to fly but he still reckons he can."
The Hurricane put his hands on his hips and pouted, "I am a super hero and I can too fly. I just choose not to. At my super speed it's not convenient."
"Oh come on, you know I'm just joking," Richards backed out when he realized the Hurricane wasn't going to give up easily, "really I'm one of your hurri-fanatics."
"Of course," Victoria laughed at Steven, "weren't you the one that rearranged his entrance theme to say, "Stand back! The Hurricane farted." Or was that someone else?"
Steven laughed weakly, "no I think it was someone else. Anyone else."
The Hurricane looked at Richards like he was a small child stealing candy from another small child. You know the look arms folded across chest one eyebrow raised looking down at the victim… subject.
"That's not funny." He repeated.
"It seems to be very amusing. I believe the whole backstage crew would have laughed hysterically. Am I right?" Riff Raff cooed to Victoria, who dragged him away by his pretty blonde hair.
"You changed my entrance theme. How mature." The Hurricane remarked over his shoulder as he walked away from Richards.
He walked to the base of the stairs to examine the elevator shaft for extra-terrestrial materials when Steven Richards leapt over the railing and landed on him from almost 6 feet up (shock horror). He smooshed the Hurricane into the carpet, ruffled his hair and walked away.
"Who's the mature one now, stupid head!"
Madame Bloodbathe: a makeover has always had the air of friends enacting their creativity and color schemes on one another while under the influence of girlie movies and sugar. However this makeover had all the charm of a funeral parlor and a satanic wedding under the influence of tears and despair.
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea," Magenta stood behind Lita with the curling iron and looked at her reflection in the mirror.
"You weren't the only one." Lita's reflection answered. Lita looked at the black corset and black hipster undies she was wearing and groaned. "How long do I have to wear these just 'til the wedding right?"
"No, you'll have to wear these or clothes like these for the rest of your life on Transsexual." Magenta looked away from the reflection and cringed.
"WHAT! That was not part of the deal. These aren't clothes. Hell! The other divas wear more than this in hot weather." Lita stood up, knocking the glass perfume and makeup bottles to the floor and wrenching the curling iron from Magenta's hand… sort of. "Ouch!" the curling iron hung from her hair and was slowly tearing it from her head.
Magenta with one fast motion disentangled Lita's hair from the hot curling iron, placed it one the dresser in front of the mirror and picked up every bottle that wasn't broken.
With a second motion quicker than the first she scooped up all the broken glass in a small metal bin and mopped up all the liquids on the floor with a small cloth.
Lita was having a hard time trying to express feelings for what she had just witnessed. But she tried anyway, "how the hell did you do that!"
Magenta looked up from the floor in panic, "I'm sorry I was slow but I didn't…"
Lita put her hands up, "you could of done that faster? But it…"
"I'm sorry, miss. Please don't tell the master. He'll have me executed." Magenta was very upset again.
"Stop! I've never seen anything like that, anything half so fast. What would I tell that loser for? You don't have to call him master when he's not around." Lita sat down again and tried to organize the bottles. They were very pretty little warped glass bottles with specks of color through the twists.
Magenta leant over her and rearranged the bottles with one hand while she wrote in the dust on the dresser with the other, "of course I must show the master respect when he is here and when he is not." Magenta growled through gritted teeth. She picked up the curling iron and proceeded to finish curling the red locks.
Lita looked at the writing in the dust, it disturbed her more than anything she had ever read in her entire life. She immediately nodded, "yes of course."
She turned and met Columbia's eyes as she skipped into the room. Columbia's face was pink and she looked very pleased. She stopped when she saw Magenta.
"Are you okay? I was worried." She took a big step forward and picked up a bottle to help her.
"Bah! Not worried enough to stop you checking out the big guy. I don't need your help." Magenta snatched the bottle from Columbia, "not now, not ever!"
Lita smiled, the white paint on her face cracked, "if you want Riff Raff back? You'll need everyone's help."
Magenta looked from Lita to Columbia, "why what's happened to Riff Raff?"
Lita looked at Columbia. Columbia shrugged and sighed, "sit down. It's not pretty."
** 5 agonizing minutes later**
"But she's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. I'm his sister why doesn't he love me."
Magenta sat between Lita and Columbia making stabbing motions with the curling iron.
"But he does love you, the marks on you neck prove that right?" Columbia teased poking Magenta's love-bites.
Magenta pulled away, she sat burning her fingertips on the hot metal. Columbia tried to remove the curling iron from her, yelping as she burnt her hand. Magenta seized her hand at the speed of light and started rubbing some strange blue liquid from one of the twisted glass bottles into it.
Columbia winced, "it hurts."
"Only for a little while," Magenta reassured her, "I apologize for my harsh words, you know I don't mean them."
Columbia nodded. Lita was very uncomfortable with the looks of the other two women. "I'll organize people to get Riff Raff away from Victoria, OK?" she hurried to leave after realizing that Magenta and Columbia were much more than room mates.
Madame Bloodbathe: I should like to butt in at this point to remind our readers that the wrestlers (with the exception of Lita) are still in their undergarments and lab coats.
Steven Richards found himself alone in the dining room. Goose bumps popped out on his arms it was really creepy in there. There were cobwebs draped over everything even the food. The food, on the plates were large slices of flesh, a white meat possibly pork. It was starting to mold but he had to know what it was. Gingerly Steven tore a small chunk of a larger chunk and put it in his mouth.
It wasn't half-bad. He sat down and tucked in heartily.
The Hurricane was wandering the grounds with Kane.
"Ooh look at this it's a bike." The Hurricane darted off into the darkness. Kane sighed, he had been enjoying the silent walk in the moonlight. It had stopped raining now and stars dotted the sky. How long he had been walking with the Hurricane was a mystery to him he had honestly only just noticed him there. And then he had run off to get the "bike".
"Oh no it's broken! Wait a minute, holy not-a-bike this is a wheelchair." The Hurricane called.
Kane stopped, was it too late to turn around and walk back to the house? The Hurricane appeared from the darkness carrying a single wheel in his arms. He grabbed Kane's arm and dragged him a little further into the night. That was obviously a yes. But the Hurricane was right it was an old wheel chair, it's metal had been heat warped and the material charred by fire or other means.
"Well if it is a wheel chair why is it out here in the dark and why has it been set on fire?" Kane voiced the logic he was trying to pull together.
The Hurricane struck a pose like one that is thinking, "yeah, what's up with dat?"
Kane groaned and put his hands over his face it was going to be a long night.
The Hurricane's tone changed, "what's up with dat!" he pointed up to the castle. Kane counted to three slowly and opened his eyes. There was a light in the window of the tower and the little man was sitting in its glow.
Kane strained his eyes looking at the window then the light in it went out.
Riff Raff pulled down the shade when they had realized he was watching them. "I must inform the master," he whispered to no one in particular. He planted a kiss on the forehead of the sleeping Victoria, "I tried to kill him for his cruelty but he should know that our cover has been blown again by his lack of refinement."
Matt Hardy had at this point woken up and been very confused. He was in a bed, the room was an odd pink color and he was only wearing his under garments and crinkled lab coat. He ventured out of the room cautiously to find everyone else and maybe even get his clothes back. He tiptoed down the corridor and peeked in every door along the way. After peering into three different rooms and finding Magenta and Columbia embracing, Victoria lying on a small black bed in her underclothes and Frank with Rocky, Matt decided he should rethink his plan of attack.
He decided it was only fair to barge in on Frank N Furter and demand to know what was going on. He stood outside and counted to himself. At the count of three he reasoned he would have the courage to confront them. At the count of two Riff Raff pushed him aside and entered the bedroom.
Matt lost all his composure and ran almost screaming back to his room. He could deal with two queer guys but three was so much worse. He sat on the bed shaking and praying for Lita to come and get him.
Lita went to Matt's room and was horrified to find him not there. Columbia had said that the room with Matt in was the third on the right. But she was obviously wrong. She sat down on the bed and almost started crying. What had she gotten herself into now? She was dressed up and about to be married to a strange she-male from Transylvania (from what she had gathered) to save the life of a woman she barely knew. Man, she was in deep. Then Matt had burst in like he was being chased by the hounds of hell, and sat down next to her.
"Thank god you're here!" she threw her arms around his neck.
Matt let out a high pitched, cowardly scream that he eventually suppressed and changed to a deep and manly, "oh it's you."
He embraced her to his chest almost breaking all her ribs, "I'm so glad it's you let's get out of here." He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room and half way down the hall.
"Wait we can't go anywhere." Lita wrenched her arm from his grasp, "I kinda said I would marry Frank to save Magenta's life… but that's all I swear." She said quickly when his face fell.
"But I thought that one day you would marry me. And besides you don't know her. What's the big loss?"
Lita glared at him, "you're a shallow sick man, Matt Hardy and if we ever get out of this I never want to see you again!" she turned and stomped down the corridor.
The door to his left opened and Columbia stuck her head out.
"Is everything all right?"
"Yeah," Matt watched Lita walk out of his life, "yeah, everything's just peachy."
"But this is your chance to be a super hero," the Hurricane whined, "my hurri-senses tell me that you can do it."
"As I have told you about 8 times," Kane pulled the Hurricane out of the tree, "I don't climb trees. If I did I wouldn't jump out of the tree. And I don't want to be a super hero. There are more than enough people in the world wearing their underpants on the outside thank you very much."
The Hurricane crossed his arms and pouted, "you're just a big red meanie. Hey there's Lita."
Kane's eyes almost popped out of his head, "yes it is. Wow what happened to her?"
Lita stomped towards them in 6-inch platform heels, black fishnets and red garter belt. A glittery black corset and red and black armbands. Her eyes were highlighted by the brilliant blue eyeshadow that escaped up to her eyebrows. Her face was powdered white in a way that made it almost glow, this contrasted the blood red lipstick that lit up her whole face. Her hair hung in loose curls softening her angular face.
Kane shoved the Hurricane to the ground, "I saw her first."
It seems that not only has the story book romance escaped from Matt and Lita but that Riff Raff is still loyal to the master that he attempted to murder. Why won't Kane jump out of the tree? Will Magenta get over Riff Raff loving another woman? Will anyone stop Steven Richards from eating that moldy old flesh? Check back soon for the next installment of Rocky Horror Wrestling.
Madame Bloodbathe