We are not, nor claim to be affiliated with the demi-goddess of the universe J.K. Rowling. All recognizable characters belong to her. Anything that seems completely insane is ours.
This story is NOT Cannon! It isn't meant to be. We quite on purpose manipulated J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter universe to suit us. Don't like, don't read! Like, PLEASE read! And Reviews, they are some of our favorite things…
Aahz picked her way from Hogsmeade to the Shack, her flashlight glimmering. Kinsfold. According the book it was a blue flower with red thorns. Frowning, she made her way over. Good thing she'd worn jeans. The brush was really high here. Finally she was at the base of the shack, and saw a patch of Kinsfold. "Score," she muttered.
She pulled her shears and jar from her bag and began gathering. She had just finished putting the top back onto the jar when she heard a noise from with in the shack.
She raised a brow. "And this is the place that's supposed to be haunted? Sure... And I'm 6 foot 8!" She stuffed her stuff back into her bag, standing. She heard the noise again and made her way to the window. She shined the flashlight inside, seeing nothing but dust. Ok... now she was curious.
A slam echoed throughout the shabby house, echoing across the dark night. The house shuddered. It had to be something big then. Well, that, my dears, almost put our Aahz out of action, but she wasn't trying to be a Potions Mistress for nothing, you had to have a certain amount of bravery for the role. Botched potions make bad poisons. But, dear readers, we're getting off topic, and the house shook again
All right! That's it! She was going in... Curiosity killed the cat... not a witch. She grinned a she heaved a rock through a window large enough for her to climb through. She broke out the jagged edges and climbed through, shinning her light around.
Her light landed on a shadow that did not disappear; a large, black, something was sitting next to that ripped up dusty chair. Well, this certainly was curious.
A low growl emitted from the blob. Had to be a canine of sorts then...Damn, she was never good with dogs.
The growl came again, stronger this time, and glowing eyes came with it. Red, actually, like most dogs reflective plates in their eyes
Aahz bit her lip. "Hey dog." She didn't use the annoying baby voice most people did with animals she hated that. "I don't suppose there's a human type person around here with you?" She smacked her head. "Yeah... Aahz, the dog's really going to respond!"
The dog barked, wagging its tail and coming into the light if the flashlight. It surprisingly lost all ideas of biting.
"Well aren't you huge! Holy cow!" She held out a hand. "Can I pet you?"
The dog woofed again and thrust its very cold nose into her hand.
"Oh... wow you're cold. You poor..." she checked. "Guy." She plopped down on the floor. "Come here."
He turned three circles, and sat down, directly on Aahz.
"Ow! Okay, Mr. Big Butt. Nice to meet you too." She began running her hands over him, petting. "You're way too thin! Whoever left you here should be shot!"
He woofed again, wagging his tail, and ending up swapping Aahz on the nose.
"Dang you! Would you mind terribly if I took you home with me? I mean I can't leave you here... I mean... puppy eyes... and yeah."
The dog seemed to grin impishly, and looked up at Aahz, eyes wide and watering slightly.
She blushed. "Damn dog. I am such a softy…I hate myself sometimes." She pulled open her bag. "I don't suppose you'd like some crackers? I'd offer spray cheese but..."
He woofed, and it almost sounded like a laugh, but nonetheless, he stole the crackers from Aahz's partially opened hand.
"Hungry huh? Well, if you'll let me up, I'll get you back to Hogwarts. You can sleep in my room... and I'm sure the house elves will give me food. I mean... It won't be dog food but..."
He barked again, stood up, and walked over to a concealed door, and sat down again.
"What's that?" She picked her stuff up and walked over.
The dog barked, louder this time, and shoved his less-than-considerable weight against Aahz's legs.
Aahz tipped, her hand landing against the wall. "You little... huge...!"
The dog woofed, and started out into the cold night air.
"Wait! What..." She jogged after him.
He was a considerable distance ahead, and was reaching Honeydukes before Aahz caught up.
She grabbed him about the neck. "And chocolate is bad for dogs! No use coming here!"
He woofed again, straining against Aahz's small hand.
"Okay then buddy boy. What do you want to be called? I'll let you pick, as I've never had a dog."
The dog barked, seeming to say that he couldn't exactly pick a name, as he couldn't speak, yet.
She rolled her eyes. "Fine. You bark when you here one you like..." She sat. "Er... Butch? Hank? Ripper? Buff... no... Er..." She giggled. "Snuffles?"
"WOOF!" Snuffles barked, and trotted away, wagging his tail like a maniac.
She raised an eyebrow. "Snuffles? O...k..."
Snuffles looked back, almost like he was waiting for Aahz to come with him.
She sighed. "You know... I thought the owner was supposed to walk the dog, not the other way around..."
He gave another delighted bark that still sounded remarkably like a laugh, and trotted off to Hogwarts.
She followed, shaking her head.
*****
Aahz swore loudly as Snuffles knocked her on her butt for the third time on the way to the headmaster's office. She figured she should at least tell him the brute was with her now. "Jeez! Could you just... GR!"
Snuffles wagged his tail and licked her face.
She huffed. And stood, wiping off her sore bum. "All right the office is right up here. Now I know the password... I think..."
"Er... Um. I think it was some sort of candy..." She looked at Snuffles. "Sit."
He laid down, giving her a big puppy stare.
She looked at the ceiling, her hands going to her hips. "And even if you give me that look you're sleeping on the floor. I don't care." She raised a brow, looking at the griffin statue thing. Or she thought it was. "Chocolate Frog maybe?"
"No, I do believe I changed it this morning Miss Saftis." Dumbledore said from behind her.
"Eek!" She jumped whirling around. "Eh..." She let out a squeak when she saw who it was.
Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling merrily behind his half moon glasses. "Fizzing Whizbees."
Aahz narrowed her eyes. "You know that wasn't funny right? I mean really!"
Dumbledore grinned, yes, grinned, mischievously.
She smiled a little. "Well... maybe. Anywho, I was getting Kinsfold for Prof. I-need-to-learn-what-a-shower-is and I found Snuffles here..." She motioned at the black beast. "And I brought him back with me because he was freezing and is just way too thin..."
Dumbledore's twinkle intensified. "Ah, I see. Well Miss Saftis, I suppose you'll just have to keep him."
She grinned. "I can? And will the house elves give me food for him, 'cause he ate all the crackers I had with me... but I didn't think he'd like the spray cheese I have... I love that stuff but Anndy hates it... okay... I'm shutting up now..."
Dumbledore laughed. "I'm sure the House Elves won't mind. I'll escort you down to the kitchens now, if you wish."
She nodded. "Please... and yeah... Do you think Hagrid would loan me a leash for him?"
"I have no doubt." Dumbledore assured her.
Aahz began talking about the spray cheese again and didn't notice she'd lost Albus until she finally shut up. "Er... Hello?"
A few corners back Albus Dumbledore was talking to Snuffles. "Welcome back Sirius." He said, twinkling merrily.
Snuffles shape began to contort, till the thin dog formed a tall, thin man wearing a delighted grin. "Its good to be back Albus."
"And I see you've met one of our new recruits."
"Yeah...what's her name? She's gorgeous."
"Her name," Dumbledore said, with amusement, "Is Aahz Heart Siawl Saftis."
"Wow. And I thought your name was long."
"Well, I'm not American."
"She's American?" Sirius asked loudly.
"But of course."
Footsteps began to echo as Aahz backtracked. Sirius wore a look of astonishment and guilt before changing back into Snuffles with a "pop".
"There you are... really... the should hand out little visitor's maps for this school. I get lost so easy..." She went over to Snuffles. "And I thought you were with me too. Sheesh." She rubbed his ears.
Sirius/Snuffles thrust his head into her hand, wagging his tail.
"So sorry, Miss Saftis, I got sidetracked, shall we go?" Dumbledore responded.
"Sure..." She raised an eyebrow. "You're a weird dog you know that?"
Snuffles woofed.
"Okay, headmaster... which way?"
Dumbledore began to walk towards a large picture of fruit.
"Tickle the pear." He said, amusement still shining in his eyes.
"Tickle the what?" She held up a hand, but stopped short of doing so.
"Pear." He said calmly.
"O...kay..." Aahz tickled the pear. "And this does what?" The portrait swung open. "Oh."
"Professor Dumbledore Sir... We wasn't expecting you..." Dobby bowed low, his nose scraping the floor.
Aahz grinned. House elves were so ugly they were cute.
"I wasn't expecting myself, Dobby, no harm done."
Dobby nodded. "Professor sir, you brings guests..." The elf turned to Aahz. "I's is Dobby. Dobby the house elf."
Aahz grinned and held out a hand. "I'm Aahz..."
Snuffles barked.
Dobby turned to the dog. "Young Mr. Black!"
The dog seemed to sigh, and its shape began to change, finally settling with a resounding POP. The tall thin man from before stood before Aahz. "So what do you think of me," He said, in a voice that was scratchy from lack of use, "Now that you know what I am?"
"Eek?" Aahz sat down hard on the floor.
"Um, well. Hi, I'm Sirius Black, escaped convict from Azkaban. I have a price on my head. How are you?"
"Abuh?" Aahz mouth seemed stuck open as she stared at him. "Oohh..."
Sirius offered her a hand. Obviously he didn't think the floor was a suitable place for her to sit. Unless he was on her.
Aahz shook her head and took his hand. "Sorry. I... Yeah... Animagus huh?"
"Obviously." Sirius said, grinning at her.
She blushed, but couldn't take her eyes of him. "Yeah... question... Why would you follow a ditz like me home?"
"Ditz? You're not a ditz. You're quite catching really. And now that I can see you in color, I must admit, I like what I see."
Now she was doing her tomato impression. "I... Well..." She shook her head. "You're quite handsome yourself..." However, you obviously haven't seen a woman in a couple of years, she thought.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I think I'll just leave you two alone..." He said as the portrait closed behind him. The elves took the hint and backed off. Sirius and Aahz were now VERY alone.
"So... The headmaster knew?" She scratched her xhead.
"Well, yeah. You can't keep anything from Dumbledore. Barmy as he is."
"Oh..."
Sirius grinned again. "So how about that food? Are you hungry?"
"Well... kinda. But jeez! Really! You're too thin." She looked him over, shaking her head. "Sit down, and tell me what you want... I'll whip it up for you."
Sirius' grin grew wider. "Well...It all depends. What do you feel like making?"
"Lasagna? Spaghetti... Mac' n cheese... steak... whatever." She smiled shyly at him.
"Steak. Definitely."
"Can do." She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a huge steak, and a slightly smaller one. "Well done, Medium, or rare?"
"Medium." He said, his mind not really on food, though the thought was appealing.
She nodded, and got the steaks going before she pulled out some potatoes. "So... you were in Azkaban... but you went with out a trial right?"
"Yes." Sirius said shortly. His time in Azkaban was not something he liked to think about, however far behind him it was.
"Sorry..." She realized she'd hit a sore topic. She flipped the steaks, then sat down, and began wrapping the potatoes to bake them.
"So, your American?"
'Yeah... accent huh?" She stood, popping them into the oven the checking the steaks.
"Not really. You've got more of a tan. Less freckles. And Dumbledore told me." He grinned impishly.
"Oh. At least it's not my sense of humor... Wait... When'd he tell you?" She raised a brow.
"Not to long ago." Sirius said evasively. Then he grinned, "If I kissed you, would you mind?"
'Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Would you mind?"
"I... I don't think I'd mind." She was bright red. "My face isn't ever going back to normal..."
Sirius' smile widened into a full-blown grin. "That's fine then." He said, then ducked his head, and planted his lips on hers with no intention of moving for a while.
Wow... Yeah... Aahz's hands made their way into his hair as she tried not to fall over. Her lips parted a bit and she sighed.
He ran his tongue along her lips before slipping it into her mouth, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.
She moaned a bit. Wow. Again... a thousand times wow.... her tongue brushed his and she gasped. Yup. Wow. Her hands tightened in his hair.
Sirius obviously had the upper hand, but he was no Slytherin, he wouldn't take advantage of Aahz. He took one arm away from her waist and ran it down her slight form.
She shivered, one of her hands cupping his stubbled jaw.
He groaned, and they found themselves against a wall. Sirius broke the kiss to run his lips along her jaw line, and down to the soft spot just below her ear.
Aahz gasped for breath. Finally she could say it. "Wow."
Sirius chuckled, before a resounding clap echoed through the kitchens, and they realized they were being watched.
Aahz did her tomato impression again, trying to hide, but at the same time see who it was.
Dobby was blushing madly. "I's sorries... but yours steaks is burning..."
Aahz swore, ducking away from Sirius. Glowering when she saw the pan. "Damn it!" She turned it off. "Your going to have to wait a bit for a medium steak... cause that's just beyond hope."
"It was worth it." He said, finally having the grace to go pink.
Aahz was glowing red. "In the middle of the friggin' kitchens...." She muttered as she pulled out more steaks. "Never live it down... just met him..."
"What, do you regret it?" Sirius looked dejected.
"No... You just don't... I mean..." She blushed. "Let's just say it's been a while since I even remotely felt like kissing someone... then we were in the kitchen! I mean..." She clamped her mouth shut and threw the steak into the pan. "The potatoes!"
Sirius looked somewhat affronted, she was worried about bloody potatoes after she had just been snogged senseless by Sirius Black!
She pulled them out, cursing when she was burned through the oven mitt. "Ouch!" She threw the pan on the counter as her hand went to her mouth.
"Are you all right?" Sirius was by her side almost immediately, her small hand in his, looking horribly red and swollen.
She was pouting. "Owie."
Sirius was at a loss. His over-drive sex instinct was saying, "Just snog her and make her forget it," his brotherly instinct was saying "make sure she's alright." He was at a bloody loss.
So, he made a compromise, he took her hand, and kissed her palm. "Better?" He asked in a husky voice.
"I..." She stared at the burn, then at him. She smiled a bit. "Yeah..." She kissed his lips quickly before pulling away. "Told you I was a ditz... maybe that should be klutz..."
Sirius laughed, his lips tingling from their kisses. "Well, this is a predicament isn't it?"
"You might say that..." She licked her lips, tasting him there. Her lips mouthed the word wow yet again.
His stomach rumbled and he cursed it thrice over, now was not the time to be hungry!
She grinned as she checked the steaks one last time. 'These are done... but I have to ask... Snuffles?"
"Aah.." He looked like he was off in a memory. Which, of course, he was. "Harry. It was a code name. Still is, as a matter of fact."
"Harry?" She dished up the steaks, then the potatoes that weren't burned too badly. She carried them over to the table. "And you needed a code name because you were in hiding right?"
"Yeah, I was hiding out with Buckbeak." He had a strange inclination to tell Aahz everything; very few people ever gave him the inclination.
"What's a Buckb..." She held up her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm prying. What would you like to drink?"
"Fire Whiskey. Buckbeak is my Hippogriff. Well, Hagrid's, actually, gave him back already." he sounded mildly put out at the prospect.
She opened a bottle of the whisky, and set 2 shot glasses on the table, which she filled "Well, I'm sure Hagrid will let you see him."
"I certainly hope so. He was the only thing that would look at me, besides Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore without calling the dementors in that first year." Sirius said, recalling the year in question.
She shuddered. "Those things freak me out. Personally, I don't know how you made it in Azkaban..." She downed her shot, and cut a bite of her steak.
"That's where Snuffles came in." He said, downing his shot and taking a bite of potato.
"Oh." She motioned to the food as she poured them more whiskey. "How is it?"
"Yummy." He said thickly.
"You okay?" She took another bite.
"Better then I could be." He said swallowing, "This sure beats those crackers." Sirius added with a cheeky grin.
She blushed. "Hey... I mentioned the spray cheese..."
Sirius shuddered. "Sorry." He said, "But that sounds like something Dumbledore would eat, like those, lemon shots, was it?"
"I think that's sherbets..." She grinned. "I'll confess... I love the stuff. But someone ate all my crackers...."
"Sorry," He said again, a faint pinkness on his neck.
"Hey, I offered. And what the hey? You followed me home, so personally, I think a few crackers are worth it." She swallowed her shot and licked her lips.
"Thank you. I think." Sirius said, taking another bite of potato closely by a shot.
"Well... don't thank me yet. Anndy is going to know I got smoochies. Don't ask me how, but she will." She finished her steak. "I feel like a cow..."
"You certainly don't look like one." He said, before taking a HUGE mouthful of steak and potato.
"Never mind..." She smiled. "How tall are you any way?" Maybe it was a good thing she'd gotten those stilts.
"Around six foot five." He said, blushing a bit more. He had always been teased about his height. That was why he could sympathize with Ron.
"Midget woman strikes again..." She frowned. "It a good thing I got those stilts from Bill and Remus..."
"Remus? How is old Moony?" Sirius became incredibly ecstatic and began eating more.
"You want the rest of my potato?" She pushed it towards him. "He seemed well. I just met him on the train..." She didn't think it was her place to tell him of his engagement.
"Ah damn. Last I checked he was dating some Lestrange chick. Daughter of my --." He stopped. Flat. And began shoveling food in his mouth making it literally impossible to speak.
"Slow down. I'm too short to do the Heimlich maneuver. And personally, I want to get to know you better, not watch you die." She didn't mention Aislinn.
Sirius attempted a swallow, got half down, spluttered, and felt the rest follow the first half. "Sorry." He muttered. "So...What brings you to Hogwarts? And who's Anndy?"
She shook her head. "You can tell me to shut it. Any who, I'm apprenticed to I-desperately-need-a-shampoo-dude. I want to be a potions Mistress. Anndy is Andromeda Malfoy... my best friend. She's apprenticed to McGonagall."
"Am I to take it that I-Desperately-Need-A-Shampoo-Dude is Snape? And Malfoy? I didn't know Lucius had a daughter."
"Yeah... I'll have to tell you about my evil plot to make him bathe... and Lucius Malfoy is a prick."
"Here here to that." Sirius said as he raised his shot.
Aahz leaned forward, toasting with him then downing it. "Some how I think Anndy would be spluttering if she a sip of this..."
"I wouldn't know. I used to enjoy spiking Snape's drink at mealtimes and watching him splutter. But then he figured it out, Polyjuice potion is a nasty thing."
She raised a brow. "Oh? I thought it was handy. I'd switch places with my brother for certain tests. We passed. Fun."
"Aah, not fun when you're Sirius Black in the body of Lucius Malfoy." Sirius said, grimacing.
She snorted. "Oh come on! I would have looked for an embarrassing birth mark and blackmailed him."
"I wouldn't want to look at his body if you paid me. It was enough to go wandering around with Malfoys head in Gryffindor robes." Sirius smirked.
She giggled. She wasn't even tipsy yet. "Bar tending has its benefits..." She smirked.
Sirius took another shot; this one barely made it to his mouth, his hand was swaying.
"Oh please! Don't tell me I'm drinking you under the table!"
"What?" Sirius said, leaning back in his chair, he was never good with drinks, over five shots was to much for him, and he tipped it back to far, causing him to blink stupidly at the ceiling.
She squatted next to him. "Are you okay?"
"I dunno..."
She laid her head on his chest, shaking with laughter. "Come on... I think you staying in my room tonight... but you need to be Snuffles for that..."
Sirius stood up, stumbled, and said "I can't, last time we *hiccup* Remus, and I, I couldn't *hiccup* switch."
She swore. "Well that's great! Fine... Lean on me... anybody comes near us, I want you to pretend to be snogging me... I doubt any one's up. It's late." She pulled his arm around her shoulders.
"S'okay." Sirius said thickly.
Dobby came closer, "Would Sir and Miss like anything else?"
Sirius and Aahz were found in another compromising situation.
"No Dobby... but could you tell me how to get back to my room without any one seeing us?" She was blushing, but oh well.
"Of course, Miss. Dobby will do anything to help. Floo Powder Miss!" Dobby said, taking a pot from the mantel.
"I could have told you that." Said Sirius drowsily.
"Excuse me... you're drunk..." She turned to Dobby. "You're such a dear. Thank you!" She got the powder and stepped into the fireplace. "Now hold on." She flooed them to her room.
As soon as they were clear of the fireplace, Sirius collapsed. Right on top of Aahz. It seemed he had a sort of morbid fascination with getting them into tough spots.
Aahz looked at the ceiling. "Sirius? Hello?"
He twitched.
She rolled her eyes. "Come on! You're squishing me!" Not really... but she'd prefer him to be sober and conscious for the tingles.
Sirius grunted incoherently and shifted his weight. Not that it did much.
Aahz shifted, trying to roll him off of her, but with him being so much bigger than her, she wasn't getting anywhere. "Come on... please... just... roll over or something..."
His finger twitched, and he half-rolled off of Aahz. "Jebus, the floor is cold," he muttered into the floor.
She managed to squirm the rest of the way free and stand up. "Alright... you can take the couch..." She moved to help him stand. "Sirius?"
"Mufhuhugh?" His face was squished into the floor.
"Do you want to spend the night on the floor?" Aahz yawned. "Because I can't lift you... thus you need to get your big butt to the couch under your own steam." She prodded him with her toe. "Okay?"
The only response was a very loud snore.
"WAAA!" She yelled poking him again, hoping to startle him awake. "Come on... I feel bad... you'll catch cold."
More snoring.
"Hm..." Aahz looked at the couch, wondering if she'd be able to float him over to it.
Shrugging, she made a lifting motion in her hands and watched him slowly lift from the floor. "Okay... now to the couch." Aahz started to turn slowly, moving him as well.
*Where's the floor?* Sirius' inebriated brain thought. *Why the hell am I flying? What did she put in that whiskey?!*
Unfortunately for Sirius, she forgot about the lamp, and ran him into it head on. "Oh! Sorry!" Aahz didn't see any blood, but she'd check once she set him down.
"Ughrh......what was that for?" he mumbled, realizing that he was starting to drool. Problem was, he couldn't seem to get his hands to work to stop the disgusting stuff.
Finally she set him down on the couch. "It was an oops... flying isn't my forte... if you will." She leaned over him, checking his head.
He swatted ineffectually at her hand. "I'm fine."
Aahz shook her head at him. "Fine... fine..." She went into her bedroom and grabbed an extra blanket and pillow before coming back out. "Here." She laid them on his chest.
Sirius pulled the blanket over his head, which knocked to pillow to the floor. "Thanks, Aahz..."
"Goodnight." She moved to tuck it over his feet, then saw he had his shoes on still. "Oh no... those are NOT staying on my couch."
*You don't want to take those off, lovely,* he thought, amazed at how coherent his thoughts were as compared to his speech.
Aahz plopped down on that end of the couch and began to tug at his right shoe. "These are some bad shoes... seriously." Then the shoe came off.
Sirius jerked his now exposed foot up underneath himself, hoping to spare Aahz at least a small amount.
"Ew!" She stood, moving to the other side of the room, trying not to gag as she waved a hand in front of her face. "You could've warned me... ick."
"I thought I did..." he mumbled, not really loudly enough to make sense.
Holding her nose, Aahz crept close enough to the couch to wave a hand over his feet, using her magic as an air freshener... odor cover up, something. The only thing she cared about was the renewed ability to breathe. Quickly she removed the other shoe and repeated the procedure.
Sirius pulled his other foot up as well, curling up under the blanket like a five-year-old.
Aahz watched him for a second, then picked up the pillow and setting it near his head. "Goodnight Sirius."
He mumbled something that could have been "good night" or "I love you." He couldn't tell which.
She tucked the blankets around him a bit better, then moved to get ready for bed.
This story is NOT Cannon! It isn't meant to be. We quite on purpose manipulated J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter universe to suit us. Don't like, don't read! Like, PLEASE read! And Reviews, they are some of our favorite things…
Aahz picked her way from Hogsmeade to the Shack, her flashlight glimmering. Kinsfold. According the book it was a blue flower with red thorns. Frowning, she made her way over. Good thing she'd worn jeans. The brush was really high here. Finally she was at the base of the shack, and saw a patch of Kinsfold. "Score," she muttered.
She pulled her shears and jar from her bag and began gathering. She had just finished putting the top back onto the jar when she heard a noise from with in the shack.
She raised a brow. "And this is the place that's supposed to be haunted? Sure... And I'm 6 foot 8!" She stuffed her stuff back into her bag, standing. She heard the noise again and made her way to the window. She shined the flashlight inside, seeing nothing but dust. Ok... now she was curious.
A slam echoed throughout the shabby house, echoing across the dark night. The house shuddered. It had to be something big then. Well, that, my dears, almost put our Aahz out of action, but she wasn't trying to be a Potions Mistress for nothing, you had to have a certain amount of bravery for the role. Botched potions make bad poisons. But, dear readers, we're getting off topic, and the house shook again
All right! That's it! She was going in... Curiosity killed the cat... not a witch. She grinned a she heaved a rock through a window large enough for her to climb through. She broke out the jagged edges and climbed through, shinning her light around.
Her light landed on a shadow that did not disappear; a large, black, something was sitting next to that ripped up dusty chair. Well, this certainly was curious.
A low growl emitted from the blob. Had to be a canine of sorts then...Damn, she was never good with dogs.
The growl came again, stronger this time, and glowing eyes came with it. Red, actually, like most dogs reflective plates in their eyes
Aahz bit her lip. "Hey dog." She didn't use the annoying baby voice most people did with animals she hated that. "I don't suppose there's a human type person around here with you?" She smacked her head. "Yeah... Aahz, the dog's really going to respond!"
The dog barked, wagging its tail and coming into the light if the flashlight. It surprisingly lost all ideas of biting.
"Well aren't you huge! Holy cow!" She held out a hand. "Can I pet you?"
The dog woofed again and thrust its very cold nose into her hand.
"Oh... wow you're cold. You poor..." she checked. "Guy." She plopped down on the floor. "Come here."
He turned three circles, and sat down, directly on Aahz.
"Ow! Okay, Mr. Big Butt. Nice to meet you too." She began running her hands over him, petting. "You're way too thin! Whoever left you here should be shot!"
He woofed again, wagging his tail, and ending up swapping Aahz on the nose.
"Dang you! Would you mind terribly if I took you home with me? I mean I can't leave you here... I mean... puppy eyes... and yeah."
The dog seemed to grin impishly, and looked up at Aahz, eyes wide and watering slightly.
She blushed. "Damn dog. I am such a softy…I hate myself sometimes." She pulled open her bag. "I don't suppose you'd like some crackers? I'd offer spray cheese but..."
He woofed, and it almost sounded like a laugh, but nonetheless, he stole the crackers from Aahz's partially opened hand.
"Hungry huh? Well, if you'll let me up, I'll get you back to Hogwarts. You can sleep in my room... and I'm sure the house elves will give me food. I mean... It won't be dog food but..."
He barked again, stood up, and walked over to a concealed door, and sat down again.
"What's that?" She picked her stuff up and walked over.
The dog barked, louder this time, and shoved his less-than-considerable weight against Aahz's legs.
Aahz tipped, her hand landing against the wall. "You little... huge...!"
The dog woofed, and started out into the cold night air.
"Wait! What..." She jogged after him.
He was a considerable distance ahead, and was reaching Honeydukes before Aahz caught up.
She grabbed him about the neck. "And chocolate is bad for dogs! No use coming here!"
He woofed again, straining against Aahz's small hand.
"Okay then buddy boy. What do you want to be called? I'll let you pick, as I've never had a dog."
The dog barked, seeming to say that he couldn't exactly pick a name, as he couldn't speak, yet.
She rolled her eyes. "Fine. You bark when you here one you like..." She sat. "Er... Butch? Hank? Ripper? Buff... no... Er..." She giggled. "Snuffles?"
"WOOF!" Snuffles barked, and trotted away, wagging his tail like a maniac.
She raised an eyebrow. "Snuffles? O...k..."
Snuffles looked back, almost like he was waiting for Aahz to come with him.
She sighed. "You know... I thought the owner was supposed to walk the dog, not the other way around..."
He gave another delighted bark that still sounded remarkably like a laugh, and trotted off to Hogwarts.
She followed, shaking her head.
*****
Aahz swore loudly as Snuffles knocked her on her butt for the third time on the way to the headmaster's office. She figured she should at least tell him the brute was with her now. "Jeez! Could you just... GR!"
Snuffles wagged his tail and licked her face.
She huffed. And stood, wiping off her sore bum. "All right the office is right up here. Now I know the password... I think..."
"Er... Um. I think it was some sort of candy..." She looked at Snuffles. "Sit."
He laid down, giving her a big puppy stare.
She looked at the ceiling, her hands going to her hips. "And even if you give me that look you're sleeping on the floor. I don't care." She raised a brow, looking at the griffin statue thing. Or she thought it was. "Chocolate Frog maybe?"
"No, I do believe I changed it this morning Miss Saftis." Dumbledore said from behind her.
"Eek!" She jumped whirling around. "Eh..." She let out a squeak when she saw who it was.
Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling merrily behind his half moon glasses. "Fizzing Whizbees."
Aahz narrowed her eyes. "You know that wasn't funny right? I mean really!"
Dumbledore grinned, yes, grinned, mischievously.
She smiled a little. "Well... maybe. Anywho, I was getting Kinsfold for Prof. I-need-to-learn-what-a-shower-is and I found Snuffles here..." She motioned at the black beast. "And I brought him back with me because he was freezing and is just way too thin..."
Dumbledore's twinkle intensified. "Ah, I see. Well Miss Saftis, I suppose you'll just have to keep him."
She grinned. "I can? And will the house elves give me food for him, 'cause he ate all the crackers I had with me... but I didn't think he'd like the spray cheese I have... I love that stuff but Anndy hates it... okay... I'm shutting up now..."
Dumbledore laughed. "I'm sure the House Elves won't mind. I'll escort you down to the kitchens now, if you wish."
She nodded. "Please... and yeah... Do you think Hagrid would loan me a leash for him?"
"I have no doubt." Dumbledore assured her.
Aahz began talking about the spray cheese again and didn't notice she'd lost Albus until she finally shut up. "Er... Hello?"
A few corners back Albus Dumbledore was talking to Snuffles. "Welcome back Sirius." He said, twinkling merrily.
Snuffles shape began to contort, till the thin dog formed a tall, thin man wearing a delighted grin. "Its good to be back Albus."
"And I see you've met one of our new recruits."
"Yeah...what's her name? She's gorgeous."
"Her name," Dumbledore said, with amusement, "Is Aahz Heart Siawl Saftis."
"Wow. And I thought your name was long."
"Well, I'm not American."
"She's American?" Sirius asked loudly.
"But of course."
Footsteps began to echo as Aahz backtracked. Sirius wore a look of astonishment and guilt before changing back into Snuffles with a "pop".
"There you are... really... the should hand out little visitor's maps for this school. I get lost so easy..." She went over to Snuffles. "And I thought you were with me too. Sheesh." She rubbed his ears.
Sirius/Snuffles thrust his head into her hand, wagging his tail.
"So sorry, Miss Saftis, I got sidetracked, shall we go?" Dumbledore responded.
"Sure..." She raised an eyebrow. "You're a weird dog you know that?"
Snuffles woofed.
"Okay, headmaster... which way?"
Dumbledore began to walk towards a large picture of fruit.
"Tickle the pear." He said, amusement still shining in his eyes.
"Tickle the what?" She held up a hand, but stopped short of doing so.
"Pear." He said calmly.
"O...kay..." Aahz tickled the pear. "And this does what?" The portrait swung open. "Oh."
"Professor Dumbledore Sir... We wasn't expecting you..." Dobby bowed low, his nose scraping the floor.
Aahz grinned. House elves were so ugly they were cute.
"I wasn't expecting myself, Dobby, no harm done."
Dobby nodded. "Professor sir, you brings guests..." The elf turned to Aahz. "I's is Dobby. Dobby the house elf."
Aahz grinned and held out a hand. "I'm Aahz..."
Snuffles barked.
Dobby turned to the dog. "Young Mr. Black!"
The dog seemed to sigh, and its shape began to change, finally settling with a resounding POP. The tall thin man from before stood before Aahz. "So what do you think of me," He said, in a voice that was scratchy from lack of use, "Now that you know what I am?"
"Eek?" Aahz sat down hard on the floor.
"Um, well. Hi, I'm Sirius Black, escaped convict from Azkaban. I have a price on my head. How are you?"
"Abuh?" Aahz mouth seemed stuck open as she stared at him. "Oohh..."
Sirius offered her a hand. Obviously he didn't think the floor was a suitable place for her to sit. Unless he was on her.
Aahz shook her head and took his hand. "Sorry. I... Yeah... Animagus huh?"
"Obviously." Sirius said, grinning at her.
She blushed, but couldn't take her eyes of him. "Yeah... question... Why would you follow a ditz like me home?"
"Ditz? You're not a ditz. You're quite catching really. And now that I can see you in color, I must admit, I like what I see."
Now she was doing her tomato impression. "I... Well..." She shook her head. "You're quite handsome yourself..." However, you obviously haven't seen a woman in a couple of years, she thought.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I think I'll just leave you two alone..." He said as the portrait closed behind him. The elves took the hint and backed off. Sirius and Aahz were now VERY alone.
"So... The headmaster knew?" She scratched her xhead.
"Well, yeah. You can't keep anything from Dumbledore. Barmy as he is."
"Oh..."
Sirius grinned again. "So how about that food? Are you hungry?"
"Well... kinda. But jeez! Really! You're too thin." She looked him over, shaking her head. "Sit down, and tell me what you want... I'll whip it up for you."
Sirius' grin grew wider. "Well...It all depends. What do you feel like making?"
"Lasagna? Spaghetti... Mac' n cheese... steak... whatever." She smiled shyly at him.
"Steak. Definitely."
"Can do." She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a huge steak, and a slightly smaller one. "Well done, Medium, or rare?"
"Medium." He said, his mind not really on food, though the thought was appealing.
She nodded, and got the steaks going before she pulled out some potatoes. "So... you were in Azkaban... but you went with out a trial right?"
"Yes." Sirius said shortly. His time in Azkaban was not something he liked to think about, however far behind him it was.
"Sorry..." She realized she'd hit a sore topic. She flipped the steaks, then sat down, and began wrapping the potatoes to bake them.
"So, your American?"
'Yeah... accent huh?" She stood, popping them into the oven the checking the steaks.
"Not really. You've got more of a tan. Less freckles. And Dumbledore told me." He grinned impishly.
"Oh. At least it's not my sense of humor... Wait... When'd he tell you?" She raised a brow.
"Not to long ago." Sirius said evasively. Then he grinned, "If I kissed you, would you mind?"
'Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Would you mind?"
"I... I don't think I'd mind." She was bright red. "My face isn't ever going back to normal..."
Sirius' smile widened into a full-blown grin. "That's fine then." He said, then ducked his head, and planted his lips on hers with no intention of moving for a while.
Wow... Yeah... Aahz's hands made their way into his hair as she tried not to fall over. Her lips parted a bit and she sighed.
He ran his tongue along her lips before slipping it into her mouth, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.
She moaned a bit. Wow. Again... a thousand times wow.... her tongue brushed his and she gasped. Yup. Wow. Her hands tightened in his hair.
Sirius obviously had the upper hand, but he was no Slytherin, he wouldn't take advantage of Aahz. He took one arm away from her waist and ran it down her slight form.
She shivered, one of her hands cupping his stubbled jaw.
He groaned, and they found themselves against a wall. Sirius broke the kiss to run his lips along her jaw line, and down to the soft spot just below her ear.
Aahz gasped for breath. Finally she could say it. "Wow."
Sirius chuckled, before a resounding clap echoed through the kitchens, and they realized they were being watched.
Aahz did her tomato impression again, trying to hide, but at the same time see who it was.
Dobby was blushing madly. "I's sorries... but yours steaks is burning..."
Aahz swore, ducking away from Sirius. Glowering when she saw the pan. "Damn it!" She turned it off. "Your going to have to wait a bit for a medium steak... cause that's just beyond hope."
"It was worth it." He said, finally having the grace to go pink.
Aahz was glowing red. "In the middle of the friggin' kitchens...." She muttered as she pulled out more steaks. "Never live it down... just met him..."
"What, do you regret it?" Sirius looked dejected.
"No... You just don't... I mean..." She blushed. "Let's just say it's been a while since I even remotely felt like kissing someone... then we were in the kitchen! I mean..." She clamped her mouth shut and threw the steak into the pan. "The potatoes!"
Sirius looked somewhat affronted, she was worried about bloody potatoes after she had just been snogged senseless by Sirius Black!
She pulled them out, cursing when she was burned through the oven mitt. "Ouch!" She threw the pan on the counter as her hand went to her mouth.
"Are you all right?" Sirius was by her side almost immediately, her small hand in his, looking horribly red and swollen.
She was pouting. "Owie."
Sirius was at a loss. His over-drive sex instinct was saying, "Just snog her and make her forget it," his brotherly instinct was saying "make sure she's alright." He was at a bloody loss.
So, he made a compromise, he took her hand, and kissed her palm. "Better?" He asked in a husky voice.
"I..." She stared at the burn, then at him. She smiled a bit. "Yeah..." She kissed his lips quickly before pulling away. "Told you I was a ditz... maybe that should be klutz..."
Sirius laughed, his lips tingling from their kisses. "Well, this is a predicament isn't it?"
"You might say that..." She licked her lips, tasting him there. Her lips mouthed the word wow yet again.
His stomach rumbled and he cursed it thrice over, now was not the time to be hungry!
She grinned as she checked the steaks one last time. 'These are done... but I have to ask... Snuffles?"
"Aah.." He looked like he was off in a memory. Which, of course, he was. "Harry. It was a code name. Still is, as a matter of fact."
"Harry?" She dished up the steaks, then the potatoes that weren't burned too badly. She carried them over to the table. "And you needed a code name because you were in hiding right?"
"Yeah, I was hiding out with Buckbeak." He had a strange inclination to tell Aahz everything; very few people ever gave him the inclination.
"What's a Buckb..." She held up her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm prying. What would you like to drink?"
"Fire Whiskey. Buckbeak is my Hippogriff. Well, Hagrid's, actually, gave him back already." he sounded mildly put out at the prospect.
She opened a bottle of the whisky, and set 2 shot glasses on the table, which she filled "Well, I'm sure Hagrid will let you see him."
"I certainly hope so. He was the only thing that would look at me, besides Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore without calling the dementors in that first year." Sirius said, recalling the year in question.
She shuddered. "Those things freak me out. Personally, I don't know how you made it in Azkaban..." She downed her shot, and cut a bite of her steak.
"That's where Snuffles came in." He said, downing his shot and taking a bite of potato.
"Oh." She motioned to the food as she poured them more whiskey. "How is it?"
"Yummy." He said thickly.
"You okay?" She took another bite.
"Better then I could be." He said swallowing, "This sure beats those crackers." Sirius added with a cheeky grin.
She blushed. "Hey... I mentioned the spray cheese..."
Sirius shuddered. "Sorry." He said, "But that sounds like something Dumbledore would eat, like those, lemon shots, was it?"
"I think that's sherbets..." She grinned. "I'll confess... I love the stuff. But someone ate all my crackers...."
"Sorry," He said again, a faint pinkness on his neck.
"Hey, I offered. And what the hey? You followed me home, so personally, I think a few crackers are worth it." She swallowed her shot and licked her lips.
"Thank you. I think." Sirius said, taking another bite of potato closely by a shot.
"Well... don't thank me yet. Anndy is going to know I got smoochies. Don't ask me how, but she will." She finished her steak. "I feel like a cow..."
"You certainly don't look like one." He said, before taking a HUGE mouthful of steak and potato.
"Never mind..." She smiled. "How tall are you any way?" Maybe it was a good thing she'd gotten those stilts.
"Around six foot five." He said, blushing a bit more. He had always been teased about his height. That was why he could sympathize with Ron.
"Midget woman strikes again..." She frowned. "It a good thing I got those stilts from Bill and Remus..."
"Remus? How is old Moony?" Sirius became incredibly ecstatic and began eating more.
"You want the rest of my potato?" She pushed it towards him. "He seemed well. I just met him on the train..." She didn't think it was her place to tell him of his engagement.
"Ah damn. Last I checked he was dating some Lestrange chick. Daughter of my --." He stopped. Flat. And began shoveling food in his mouth making it literally impossible to speak.
"Slow down. I'm too short to do the Heimlich maneuver. And personally, I want to get to know you better, not watch you die." She didn't mention Aislinn.
Sirius attempted a swallow, got half down, spluttered, and felt the rest follow the first half. "Sorry." He muttered. "So...What brings you to Hogwarts? And who's Anndy?"
She shook her head. "You can tell me to shut it. Any who, I'm apprenticed to I-desperately-need-a-shampoo-dude. I want to be a potions Mistress. Anndy is Andromeda Malfoy... my best friend. She's apprenticed to McGonagall."
"Am I to take it that I-Desperately-Need-A-Shampoo-Dude is Snape? And Malfoy? I didn't know Lucius had a daughter."
"Yeah... I'll have to tell you about my evil plot to make him bathe... and Lucius Malfoy is a prick."
"Here here to that." Sirius said as he raised his shot.
Aahz leaned forward, toasting with him then downing it. "Some how I think Anndy would be spluttering if she a sip of this..."
"I wouldn't know. I used to enjoy spiking Snape's drink at mealtimes and watching him splutter. But then he figured it out, Polyjuice potion is a nasty thing."
She raised a brow. "Oh? I thought it was handy. I'd switch places with my brother for certain tests. We passed. Fun."
"Aah, not fun when you're Sirius Black in the body of Lucius Malfoy." Sirius said, grimacing.
She snorted. "Oh come on! I would have looked for an embarrassing birth mark and blackmailed him."
"I wouldn't want to look at his body if you paid me. It was enough to go wandering around with Malfoys head in Gryffindor robes." Sirius smirked.
She giggled. She wasn't even tipsy yet. "Bar tending has its benefits..." She smirked.
Sirius took another shot; this one barely made it to his mouth, his hand was swaying.
"Oh please! Don't tell me I'm drinking you under the table!"
"What?" Sirius said, leaning back in his chair, he was never good with drinks, over five shots was to much for him, and he tipped it back to far, causing him to blink stupidly at the ceiling.
She squatted next to him. "Are you okay?"
"I dunno..."
She laid her head on his chest, shaking with laughter. "Come on... I think you staying in my room tonight... but you need to be Snuffles for that..."
Sirius stood up, stumbled, and said "I can't, last time we *hiccup* Remus, and I, I couldn't *hiccup* switch."
She swore. "Well that's great! Fine... Lean on me... anybody comes near us, I want you to pretend to be snogging me... I doubt any one's up. It's late." She pulled his arm around her shoulders.
"S'okay." Sirius said thickly.
Dobby came closer, "Would Sir and Miss like anything else?"
Sirius and Aahz were found in another compromising situation.
"No Dobby... but could you tell me how to get back to my room without any one seeing us?" She was blushing, but oh well.
"Of course, Miss. Dobby will do anything to help. Floo Powder Miss!" Dobby said, taking a pot from the mantel.
"I could have told you that." Said Sirius drowsily.
"Excuse me... you're drunk..." She turned to Dobby. "You're such a dear. Thank you!" She got the powder and stepped into the fireplace. "Now hold on." She flooed them to her room.
As soon as they were clear of the fireplace, Sirius collapsed. Right on top of Aahz. It seemed he had a sort of morbid fascination with getting them into tough spots.
Aahz looked at the ceiling. "Sirius? Hello?"
He twitched.
She rolled her eyes. "Come on! You're squishing me!" Not really... but she'd prefer him to be sober and conscious for the tingles.
Sirius grunted incoherently and shifted his weight. Not that it did much.
Aahz shifted, trying to roll him off of her, but with him being so much bigger than her, she wasn't getting anywhere. "Come on... please... just... roll over or something..."
His finger twitched, and he half-rolled off of Aahz. "Jebus, the floor is cold," he muttered into the floor.
She managed to squirm the rest of the way free and stand up. "Alright... you can take the couch..." She moved to help him stand. "Sirius?"
"Mufhuhugh?" His face was squished into the floor.
"Do you want to spend the night on the floor?" Aahz yawned. "Because I can't lift you... thus you need to get your big butt to the couch under your own steam." She prodded him with her toe. "Okay?"
The only response was a very loud snore.
"WAAA!" She yelled poking him again, hoping to startle him awake. "Come on... I feel bad... you'll catch cold."
More snoring.
"Hm..." Aahz looked at the couch, wondering if she'd be able to float him over to it.
Shrugging, she made a lifting motion in her hands and watched him slowly lift from the floor. "Okay... now to the couch." Aahz started to turn slowly, moving him as well.
*Where's the floor?* Sirius' inebriated brain thought. *Why the hell am I flying? What did she put in that whiskey?!*
Unfortunately for Sirius, she forgot about the lamp, and ran him into it head on. "Oh! Sorry!" Aahz didn't see any blood, but she'd check once she set him down.
"Ughrh......what was that for?" he mumbled, realizing that he was starting to drool. Problem was, he couldn't seem to get his hands to work to stop the disgusting stuff.
Finally she set him down on the couch. "It was an oops... flying isn't my forte... if you will." She leaned over him, checking his head.
He swatted ineffectually at her hand. "I'm fine."
Aahz shook her head at him. "Fine... fine..." She went into her bedroom and grabbed an extra blanket and pillow before coming back out. "Here." She laid them on his chest.
Sirius pulled the blanket over his head, which knocked to pillow to the floor. "Thanks, Aahz..."
"Goodnight." She moved to tuck it over his feet, then saw he had his shoes on still. "Oh no... those are NOT staying on my couch."
*You don't want to take those off, lovely,* he thought, amazed at how coherent his thoughts were as compared to his speech.
Aahz plopped down on that end of the couch and began to tug at his right shoe. "These are some bad shoes... seriously." Then the shoe came off.
Sirius jerked his now exposed foot up underneath himself, hoping to spare Aahz at least a small amount.
"Ew!" She stood, moving to the other side of the room, trying not to gag as she waved a hand in front of her face. "You could've warned me... ick."
"I thought I did..." he mumbled, not really loudly enough to make sense.
Holding her nose, Aahz crept close enough to the couch to wave a hand over his feet, using her magic as an air freshener... odor cover up, something. The only thing she cared about was the renewed ability to breathe. Quickly she removed the other shoe and repeated the procedure.
Sirius pulled his other foot up as well, curling up under the blanket like a five-year-old.
Aahz watched him for a second, then picked up the pillow and setting it near his head. "Goodnight Sirius."
He mumbled something that could have been "good night" or "I love you." He couldn't tell which.
She tucked the blankets around him a bit better, then moved to get ready for bed.