Sirius entered his newly rented apartment with a yawn. His first day at
work had been exhausting. He unbuttoned his shirt slowly and loosened his
tie as he threw his keys on the counter by the door. He made his way to the
kitchen, running a hand through his long dark hair as he opened the fridge
looking for something to eat. He settled on some left over food from the
night before. He sat down on his couch heavily savoring the food in his
mouth. Tiredness washed over his body. When he finished eating he lay down.
Sleep overcame him hastily. Sirius was pulled into a familiar darkness. A
darkness he'd learned to love and hate at the same time. After what seemed
only a few moments Sirius found himself in that familiar dark room,
surrounded by a familiar silver mist. She emerged from the darkness. The
ever familiar women, dressed in a dark cloak. Her red curls spilled out
from the drawn hood and fell over her chest. Her lips called to him. He was
drawn to her face, her eyes, her heart.
"Lily..." he whispered as she glided towards him with the grace of a veela.
"Sirius," she said with such adoration.
He winced as she placed a smooth pale hand on his cheek.
"Please remember," she told him, "Remember me."
"I do remember you, your Lily Evans Potter."
She shook her head biting her lip.
"Remember me as you used to Sirius,"
He looked up at her compelled by her beauty, but taken back by her mysterious words.
"I don't understand," he began but she silenced him with a finger to his lips.
He stared at her dark eyelashes, as they fluttered above him. He gulped as she locked her green eyes with his. He was drawn in. He smiled at her childish freckles and beautiful smile. He gazed longingly at her body that was dripping with womanhood. He winced again. What was he doing. She was like his sister. The only reason they were even friends was because of James. They'd hated each other. This was is best friends wife. Lily seemed to notice his distraction as she moved his hands around him, he fingers crawling up his neck.
"I miss you," she whispered.
"I saw you this morning," he gasped as she played with his hair, "Lily please,"
Her breath quickened as she lowered her face towards his.
"You're married," he reminded her, his heart was beating so hard he thought with was going to jump out of his chest.
Her eyes fluttered shut as her lips met his. She kissed him hard, and he tasted her sweetness. He did not respond but pushed her away.
"Nooo!" he cried sitting straight up on his couch. He threw his head back with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. It had just been another dream. He felt guilt wash over him. Why had he been dreaming of his best friends wife? How could he dream about the woman that had devoted her life to James and his Godson Harry, and was probably curled up in James's arms, in James's bed right now? He didn't even feel for her? Why was he having these dreams? She was beautiful, but still he'd never looked at her in any other way then a sister-in-law, but for his dreams. He let his head fall in his hands. He needed to sort this out. He didn't want these dreams of her haunting him for the rest of his life. He didn't need it. He didnt want it. He needed to talk to somebody who might be able to make sense of the mess that cluttered his head. He needed to speak to his brother, his comrade, but it couldn't be James.
Sirius pulled himself off his couch and glanced at his watch. It was almost midnight. He hoped Remus wouldn't be sleeping yet. He grabbed a bit of Floo Powder and threw it into the fire. The green flames flickered brightly in his dark living room. He got on his hands and knees and stuck his shaggy head into the flames.
"Remus's Place," he shouted.
He closed his eyes as the fire whirled around him, and opened them again when the roaring stopped in his ears. He was now peering into Remus's spacious apartment. It was very large, with stairs leading up to the kitchen. A balchony to the right, and more stairs to the left. In the middle on a leather couch lay Remus, ontop of a heavily jeweled woman Sirius had seen around at the Ministry. Remus was recieving a very passionate kiss as his hands worked up the womans body.
"Aww my little Remy!" Sirius called from the fire.
Remus sat up wiping his face as he whipped around to face the fire place.
"PADFOOT!" He cried, "You'd think you'd call before you stuck your face in here!"
"Have I ever been one to reason with privacy?" Sirius asked with a grin, "Hello by the way," he added nodding at the blushing women who was still under Remus.
"What do you want?" Remus asked irritably.
"I really need to talk, but it can wait." Sirius said growing serious.
"No, no," Remus sighed, never one to turn away his friends, "Meet me upstairs,"
Sirius smiled at him, waved to the women and made it back into his own living room. He stood up, brushed off the soot, and then aparated to Remus's upstairs bedroom.
Remus was waiting for him.
"Well?" Remus said sitting down on a couch and waving his wand producing a notepad, a quill and some odd looking glasses. A badge appeared on his chest that read, "Dr. Remus Lupin,"
"Tell me Mr. Black," he said with a joking smile, "What is it that is bothering you?"
Sirius groaned and fell onto Remus's bed. He pointed his wand at Remus and the notepad, quill, and glasses disappeared with a pop. Remus narrowed his eyes and then sat back as Sirius began.
"Remus, I've been having very strange dreams-"
"Dreams?" Remus questioned, "Shouldn't you be talking to Lily about this Sririus? That is more in her field, you know how she has predictions..." he trailed off staring into Sirius's handsome face.
"I can't talk to her about these dreams," Sirius said giving him a meaningful look.
Remus drew in a breath,
"These dreams you're having, they aren't about her are they?" Remus asked him with fearful eyes.
Sirius nodded. Looking away from Remus's prying disbelieving eyes.
"What kind of dreams are they?" Remus asked him with some hesitation.
"Sometimes, they are dreams, of the two of us, memories that are not my own. The two of us together, sometimes as friends, sometimes as more. Having a picnic by the lake at Hogwarts. Laughing over something in Hogsmede, in the library, in the common room, all at Hogwarts." Sirius said shaking his head.
"But you and her, were never friends, nor anything more, or is that why you hated each other so?" Remus asked looking suspicious.
"No, never. I would never do that to James," Sirius said solemnly. He instinctively reached for his ring. The one thing that comforted him. Though he did not know where it came from, it always warmed his heart. It had appeared on his hand after the sixth year. He figured it could have been a gift from one of the many girls who adored him.
"Other times," he continued, "I will be sitting in a dark room and she will come to me begging me to remember her. I don't understand what she means, but she will caress my skin until i go insane with longing, and with guilt. She will lower her lips onto mine, and I can taste her sweetness, and she tells me she misses me. I can't make any sense of it Remus, I have never felt anything towards Lily."
Remus looked at him for a long times, running his hands nervously through his blonde hair.
"How long have you been having these dreams?" he asked.
"Since the seventh year," Sirius whispered.
Remus's eyes widened that was almost three years ago.
"You've been having these dreams about her for nearly three years and never said anything?" Remus asked him.
"No, I just thought it was a phase, it would go away," he whispered, "You know what else is funny, Remus?"
"What?"
"Whenever I'd have these dreams, the next day or so after I'd call the Potters to talk to James, and He would never be home. She tells me, that he had been out at quiddtich all night and was sleeping, or he was gone for the week, or had a new catch at work. The list of why he was never home would go on and on. And so it seems I always dream of her, when he is not there. Like my subconscious is guilty of dreaming of a woman when she is lying in bed with her husband, especially when her husband happens to be my best friend." Sirius looked up at Remus for answers. He longed to hear soothing words, anything to take away his guilt.
"Maybe you are jealous that James got the one thing everyone thought he would never have, when you always come by things so easily?" Remus suggested, "Or maybe because he got the family that all of us always wanted. We were all orphans together Sirius, You, James, Peter and I, all orphans for some reason or another, all longing to have the best of the best, and now James has betrayed us in a way, because he has all that we've ever dreamed of."
"Perhaps you're right Moony, old boy," Sirius said feeling slightly comforted.
"I would write to Dumbledore and ask him for one of the draughts of potion that ensures dreamless sleep, of course you will have to explain it to him, and there's no reason to lie, you know he practices legimency." Remus suggested.
"I think I might," Sirius smiled getting up, "Thank you Remus, you are a life saver! Now I will let you head back down to your woman, and I do apologize for barging in,"
"No problem, what are friends for?" he asked with a shrug, as he stood up and embraced Sirius, "What are brothers for?"
Sirius grinned, "They are for everything!"
"Surely I will be seeing you soon at James's?" Remus asked.
Sirius gave him a quizical stare.
"Harry's first birthday is coming up at the end of this month, surly being his Godfather I'd thought you'd know Padfoot,"
"Of course I knew Moony," Sirius said with a hearty laugh, "I will see you there, Goodnight,"
Remus smiled as Sirius disaparated with a loud pop. He hoped everything was okay with Sirius. And he also hopped that everything was okay with Lily and James.
"Lily..." he whispered as she glided towards him with the grace of a veela.
"Sirius," she said with such adoration.
He winced as she placed a smooth pale hand on his cheek.
"Please remember," she told him, "Remember me."
"I do remember you, your Lily Evans Potter."
She shook her head biting her lip.
"Remember me as you used to Sirius,"
He looked up at her compelled by her beauty, but taken back by her mysterious words.
"I don't understand," he began but she silenced him with a finger to his lips.
He stared at her dark eyelashes, as they fluttered above him. He gulped as she locked her green eyes with his. He was drawn in. He smiled at her childish freckles and beautiful smile. He gazed longingly at her body that was dripping with womanhood. He winced again. What was he doing. She was like his sister. The only reason they were even friends was because of James. They'd hated each other. This was is best friends wife. Lily seemed to notice his distraction as she moved his hands around him, he fingers crawling up his neck.
"I miss you," she whispered.
"I saw you this morning," he gasped as she played with his hair, "Lily please,"
Her breath quickened as she lowered her face towards his.
"You're married," he reminded her, his heart was beating so hard he thought with was going to jump out of his chest.
Her eyes fluttered shut as her lips met his. She kissed him hard, and he tasted her sweetness. He did not respond but pushed her away.
"Nooo!" he cried sitting straight up on his couch. He threw his head back with a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. It had just been another dream. He felt guilt wash over him. Why had he been dreaming of his best friends wife? How could he dream about the woman that had devoted her life to James and his Godson Harry, and was probably curled up in James's arms, in James's bed right now? He didn't even feel for her? Why was he having these dreams? She was beautiful, but still he'd never looked at her in any other way then a sister-in-law, but for his dreams. He let his head fall in his hands. He needed to sort this out. He didn't want these dreams of her haunting him for the rest of his life. He didn't need it. He didnt want it. He needed to talk to somebody who might be able to make sense of the mess that cluttered his head. He needed to speak to his brother, his comrade, but it couldn't be James.
Sirius pulled himself off his couch and glanced at his watch. It was almost midnight. He hoped Remus wouldn't be sleeping yet. He grabbed a bit of Floo Powder and threw it into the fire. The green flames flickered brightly in his dark living room. He got on his hands and knees and stuck his shaggy head into the flames.
"Remus's Place," he shouted.
He closed his eyes as the fire whirled around him, and opened them again when the roaring stopped in his ears. He was now peering into Remus's spacious apartment. It was very large, with stairs leading up to the kitchen. A balchony to the right, and more stairs to the left. In the middle on a leather couch lay Remus, ontop of a heavily jeweled woman Sirius had seen around at the Ministry. Remus was recieving a very passionate kiss as his hands worked up the womans body.
"Aww my little Remy!" Sirius called from the fire.
Remus sat up wiping his face as he whipped around to face the fire place.
"PADFOOT!" He cried, "You'd think you'd call before you stuck your face in here!"
"Have I ever been one to reason with privacy?" Sirius asked with a grin, "Hello by the way," he added nodding at the blushing women who was still under Remus.
"What do you want?" Remus asked irritably.
"I really need to talk, but it can wait." Sirius said growing serious.
"No, no," Remus sighed, never one to turn away his friends, "Meet me upstairs,"
Sirius smiled at him, waved to the women and made it back into his own living room. He stood up, brushed off the soot, and then aparated to Remus's upstairs bedroom.
Remus was waiting for him.
"Well?" Remus said sitting down on a couch and waving his wand producing a notepad, a quill and some odd looking glasses. A badge appeared on his chest that read, "Dr. Remus Lupin,"
"Tell me Mr. Black," he said with a joking smile, "What is it that is bothering you?"
Sirius groaned and fell onto Remus's bed. He pointed his wand at Remus and the notepad, quill, and glasses disappeared with a pop. Remus narrowed his eyes and then sat back as Sirius began.
"Remus, I've been having very strange dreams-"
"Dreams?" Remus questioned, "Shouldn't you be talking to Lily about this Sririus? That is more in her field, you know how she has predictions..." he trailed off staring into Sirius's handsome face.
"I can't talk to her about these dreams," Sirius said giving him a meaningful look.
Remus drew in a breath,
"These dreams you're having, they aren't about her are they?" Remus asked him with fearful eyes.
Sirius nodded. Looking away from Remus's prying disbelieving eyes.
"What kind of dreams are they?" Remus asked him with some hesitation.
"Sometimes, they are dreams, of the two of us, memories that are not my own. The two of us together, sometimes as friends, sometimes as more. Having a picnic by the lake at Hogwarts. Laughing over something in Hogsmede, in the library, in the common room, all at Hogwarts." Sirius said shaking his head.
"But you and her, were never friends, nor anything more, or is that why you hated each other so?" Remus asked looking suspicious.
"No, never. I would never do that to James," Sirius said solemnly. He instinctively reached for his ring. The one thing that comforted him. Though he did not know where it came from, it always warmed his heart. It had appeared on his hand after the sixth year. He figured it could have been a gift from one of the many girls who adored him.
"Other times," he continued, "I will be sitting in a dark room and she will come to me begging me to remember her. I don't understand what she means, but she will caress my skin until i go insane with longing, and with guilt. She will lower her lips onto mine, and I can taste her sweetness, and she tells me she misses me. I can't make any sense of it Remus, I have never felt anything towards Lily."
Remus looked at him for a long times, running his hands nervously through his blonde hair.
"How long have you been having these dreams?" he asked.
"Since the seventh year," Sirius whispered.
Remus's eyes widened that was almost three years ago.
"You've been having these dreams about her for nearly three years and never said anything?" Remus asked him.
"No, I just thought it was a phase, it would go away," he whispered, "You know what else is funny, Remus?"
"What?"
"Whenever I'd have these dreams, the next day or so after I'd call the Potters to talk to James, and He would never be home. She tells me, that he had been out at quiddtich all night and was sleeping, or he was gone for the week, or had a new catch at work. The list of why he was never home would go on and on. And so it seems I always dream of her, when he is not there. Like my subconscious is guilty of dreaming of a woman when she is lying in bed with her husband, especially when her husband happens to be my best friend." Sirius looked up at Remus for answers. He longed to hear soothing words, anything to take away his guilt.
"Maybe you are jealous that James got the one thing everyone thought he would never have, when you always come by things so easily?" Remus suggested, "Or maybe because he got the family that all of us always wanted. We were all orphans together Sirius, You, James, Peter and I, all orphans for some reason or another, all longing to have the best of the best, and now James has betrayed us in a way, because he has all that we've ever dreamed of."
"Perhaps you're right Moony, old boy," Sirius said feeling slightly comforted.
"I would write to Dumbledore and ask him for one of the draughts of potion that ensures dreamless sleep, of course you will have to explain it to him, and there's no reason to lie, you know he practices legimency." Remus suggested.
"I think I might," Sirius smiled getting up, "Thank you Remus, you are a life saver! Now I will let you head back down to your woman, and I do apologize for barging in,"
"No problem, what are friends for?" he asked with a shrug, as he stood up and embraced Sirius, "What are brothers for?"
Sirius grinned, "They are for everything!"
"Surely I will be seeing you soon at James's?" Remus asked.
Sirius gave him a quizical stare.
"Harry's first birthday is coming up at the end of this month, surly being his Godfather I'd thought you'd know Padfoot,"
"Of course I knew Moony," Sirius said with a hearty laugh, "I will see you there, Goodnight,"
Remus smiled as Sirius disaparated with a loud pop. He hoped everything was okay with Sirius. And he also hopped that everything was okay with Lily and James.