Sirius couldn't help but stare at her, sitting beside him looking like
something that only the most beautiful things on the earth could have
produced. Lily stared back at him with such adoration in her bright green
eyes. Yet she seemed reluctant to come closer to him. . He longed to touch
her. He neared her, reaching out for her face. Her pink lips parted
slightly as he made contact with her warm cheek.
"Sirius," she let out, her eyes fluttering shut.
He loved it when she said his name like this. He'd heard it over so many times before in his head. He felt his heart stir as she trembled beneath his touch. He moved his hands to the back of her neck, pulling her down to him as he lay on the bench. She looked down at him, licking her lips in anticipation. As his lips drew closer to hers she let her eyelashes kiss her freckled cheeks. And then he kissed her. It was a slow, passionate kiss, and Sirius found himself drawing in all the love he could muster from this single kiss. It was now he realized that he wasn't gazing at Lily out of lust. Sirius loved her with all his heart. He gave all that he had to her in that kiss and she returned it, savaging his mouth, looking for his heart. When he finally pulled away he kissed her forehead softly,
"I can't loose you Lily, I just can't."
"You won't," she promised, but even as she promised she began to drift away from him into the dark sea that evaded his mind.
She fell into the pools of his deepest memories, which held secrets he'd been trying to unlock. It was now that Sirius sat straight up in his bed, like he'd done many times before when he'd been dreaming of her. He let out a sigh as the blankets fell from his bare chest and piled around his waist. A new wave of familiar guilt washed over him as he lowered his forehead to his hands. He was dreaming about her again, and yet he'd taken the sleeping draught. It had been working so well. He thought hard about the hours prior when he'd taken the potion. Had it not been enough? He let his hands slid up his face to his dark rich hair, where he tugged on it in frustration. Maybe some more of the potion would remedy his dreams?
When he got to his dark kitchen, he noticed it was almost morning, he felt as though he'd barely slept. He found the bottle of dark red liquid and poured some of it into a nearby phial. He wasn't sure if taking more would be okay, but he didn't want to dream of her. He glanced at a photo of him and James that hung on the wall. Would this always plague him? Would the guilt of dreaming of his best friends wife always follow him, and would he never know what it was that his mind was trying to tell him? Here he was, their Secret Keeper. Lily, James and Harry's life all rested in the palm of his hand, and yet he was struggling to keep his hand safely around them. He was struggling to keep his own life in order, and yet he was protecting another life. Would James still trust him this much if he knew who it was Sirius had been seeing in his head for the last three years? In two days Lily would have been married to James for two years. Had she been coveted since the day they married? Sirius raised his glass towards the picture, as if toasting to his friend, and then downed the bubbling and hissing potion in one large gulp. Sirius made a face as the horrible tasting drink slowly made its way down his throat. He threw the phial in the sink and trotted back to bed, not realizing that although his mind would be sleeping his body was going to be very much awake. Sirius did not realize that Peter Pettigrew, in his rat form, was sitting on his bedroom window sill, motioning to Lord Voldemort that Sirius had indeed gone back to bed. And as Sirius fell back to sleep, he did not hear the silenced entry of the Dark Lord.
"Well now that I have Sirius Black in my clutches, the rest of this should be easy," Voldemort whispered, as he stood of a sleeping Sirius.
"Should I go tell James he needs to come home soon?" Peter asked glancing at the clouds through the window noticing that their edges were beginning to turn a lighter shade of blue.
"No, Bella sent word that the riot is only just beginning. Plus you have to give me time to actually make this happen." Voldemort muttered.
"Do you really think Potter will make me his secret keeper after this?" Peter asked.
"Well it will be a full moon, tomorrow night, so little werewolf boy won't be able to do the job now will he?" Voldemort reminded Peter through gritted teeth as he moved his cold beady eyes to Sirius, "Slumbercento!"
A blue light emerged from Voldemort's wand and rested over Sirius, slowly sinking into his skin.
"Now he won't wake up, while I do this," Voldemort explained, raising him voice a little, "Won't be able to fight the curse,"
Peter giggled and clapped his hands.
"Well I think its time Sirius woke up and paid a visit to the Potter's place, what do you think Wormtail?"
"Oh I think Lily would be quite pleased to see Padfoot!" Peter squealed, "Remember, Dumbledore said he was beginning to remember something, so just make him pretend like he's remembered and it should go very well."
"Good, after Sirius leaves, give him about twenty minutes head start before you go and tell James to come home," Voldemort warned.
"What should I tell James?"
"We went over this!" Voldemort yelled, becoming angry, "Tell him something is the matter with Harry and he'll run home!"
"Okay, twenty minutes," Peter nodded.
"Imperio!" Voldemort cried pointing his wand at Sirius.
As soon as the sun hit the cottage house in Godric's Hollow Lily sat straight up in her bed. She glanced around the room searching for James. His pajama's still sat on the floor where he'd dropped them. The blankets were still pulled down on his side. Lily fell back down on the bed letting out a sigh. Shouldn't James be home by now? Maybe he was, and he just hadn't wanted to wake her up. She pulled herself out of bed, and rushed to open the door. The kitchen and hallway were dark, the bathroom door was open. She turned the handle to Harry's nursery. Harry was still sleeping peacefully in his crib. She reached over the bars and stroked his dark hair, wishing that James were here. Safe, Home. Suddenly she had an idea. Perhaps Dumbledore knew of James's whereabouts, perhaps Dumbledore could persuade James to come home. She ran back to her bed room and grabbed her dressing robe. She pulled it around her tightly and then reached for some flew powder and kneeled down to look for Dumbledore. She threw the powder in, commanding the green flames to take her to Dumbledore's office. She stuck her head in the flames, and peered out at the empty office. Dumbledore's desk stood empty, Fawkes was missing from his perch.
"Professor Dumbledore?" Lily called.
There was no answer.
"Professor Dumbledore?" She cried again, more desperately.
"Albus," she sighed, she closed her eyes.
Perhaps he was still sleeping. It was early. She pulled herself out of the fireplace. A figure moved from the upper level of the office.
"Albus?" Lily questioned, but Professor McGonagall emerged from the shadows.
Her long black hair was dangling past her shoulders, and Lily was taken back not to see it pulled up into a severely tight bun.
"Lily," she called, "What brings you here, is everything alright?"
"I am sorry Professor; I was looking for Professor Dumbledore,"
"I am afraid you wont find him at Hogwarts dear," McGonagall said wearily, "I'm sure you heard about the riot in lower London, I'm afraid even Professor Dumbledore was called to aid, their have been many deaths, wizard and muggle."
Lily let out a gasp, no Dumbledore, wizard deaths?
"James." she let out.
"James?" Professor McGonagall cried, "He didn't go did he? I thought you were in hiding?"
"He told the ministry he was on sick leave, they came to retrieve him last night, Moody apologized but they needed him. Professor, you don't think." She paused not wanting to say what she thought, "you don't think James could be dead do you?"
"No, of course not," McGonagall comforted, "You look horrible, why don't you go back home and get some rest, James will be home soon I'm sure of it!"
Lily nodded, feeling butterflies rise in her stomach. She grabbed some more floo powder and stepped back into the fire place. She named her own house and in few seconds the green flame engulfed her.
When the whirling finally stopped she stood in her own living room, but she wasn't alone. Sirius was sitting in her favorite arm chair, but he jumped up as she emerged from the fireplace, rubbing soot from her dressing robe.
"Sirius," she cried, "Were you at the Riot, did you see James, is he okay?"
Sirius remained silent, as he walked towards her.
"Sirius?" she asked, but more quietly.
There was something different, about the way he moved. The actions seemed forced. Was he okay?
"I didn't go to the riot, I am too amateur, they didn't contact me," he said in a low voice.
"James, he was called, oh Sirius I am so afraid he is going to get hurt!" she said stepping towards him, but Sirius was staring straight into her eyes without blinking, "Sirius?"
"Lily," he sighed, in such a longing way that Lily's heart jumped.
"Sirius?" she questioned again narrowing her eyes, this time distancing herself from him.
"Lily I know," he whispered, closing in the distance between them.
"You know?" she questioned, her eyes growing large with fear, hoping, praying, he didn't know what she thought he might.
It couldn't have happened, she'd shut of her mind from him, she'd tried so hard, refused herself. Oh please, don't let him remember now.
"I've remembered Lily," he whispered, tears filling his eyes, "I've remembered everything," he continued getting closer.
Lily backed up slowly; she knew if he said the right things, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She wouldn't be able to put a pause on her heart, especially if he was willing to let her love him again. But you've made it this far, she scowled at herself. She continued backing up, staring into his deep eyes, getting lost in him.
"You love me," he whispered, as she backed herself into the wall, "I know you do,"
Her lips began to tremble, he knew, he really had remembered. She felt her body press against the coolness of the drywall as he continued to come closer. He was so close she could see the laugh lines around his eyes. So close she could feel his warm breath against her face. So close she could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"Oh Lily," he whispered, bringing his face closer.
Lily's heart beat had filled her head, and she was sure that the wall was vibrated from the large thumps. She was married. She loved James. James, he was out, he was out fighting the Death-eaters.
"Sirius," she breathed, blinking slowly, feeling her body throb for him, "I'm married,"
"But you love me," Sirius reminded, reaching up and putting a finger under her chin.
The gold ring that rested on his hand caught the light, and Lily was filled with warmth. She thought of his love, the love she'd forsaken and tried to forget all these years. And here it was standing in front of her, willing her to give in. His lips stood ready, just centimeters from hers, his eyes, pleaded with her, begging her to seal the reunion of their hearts. She grasped onto the wall as his face came extremely close. She felt his eyelashes flutter against her skin. She felt his warm lips caress her cheek, she let out a sigh. He ran his fingers through her hair, and then his lips met hers. She'd longed to feel the smoothness of his perfect lips in more than just dreams for so long. He rested his lips on hers for such a long time, and yet it felt like a split second. Her body trembled as he slowly ran his tongue along her lips, and she longed for his taste, longed for his love, longed for him. Her lips parted and Sirius deepened the kiss as she let out a moan, still grasping at the wall, still pushing her body against it. She felt the long lost passion rise through her body, and the heat come to her cheeks. She was aware of his body, as he pressed it against her. It had been so long, to long since she tasted his sweetness. She felt his hands against her face, stroking her face. Her breath became short as their lips moved against each other. Just when she thought her heart was going to explode it stopped dead, the room became icy.
"Sirius?" James's agonized voice broke through Lily's mind like a dagger.
As Sirius pulled away sharply Lily closed her eyes, as her body gave a last shudder.
"Lily?" James cried, he voice breaking.
An emotion rested in her throat as Lily tried hard to sink into the wall. She tried to swallow the lump that had risen, with no luck. Tears slipped through her closed eyes.
"James," she whispered, "Oh James,"
"Sirius," she let out, her eyes fluttering shut.
He loved it when she said his name like this. He'd heard it over so many times before in his head. He felt his heart stir as she trembled beneath his touch. He moved his hands to the back of her neck, pulling her down to him as he lay on the bench. She looked down at him, licking her lips in anticipation. As his lips drew closer to hers she let her eyelashes kiss her freckled cheeks. And then he kissed her. It was a slow, passionate kiss, and Sirius found himself drawing in all the love he could muster from this single kiss. It was now he realized that he wasn't gazing at Lily out of lust. Sirius loved her with all his heart. He gave all that he had to her in that kiss and she returned it, savaging his mouth, looking for his heart. When he finally pulled away he kissed her forehead softly,
"I can't loose you Lily, I just can't."
"You won't," she promised, but even as she promised she began to drift away from him into the dark sea that evaded his mind.
She fell into the pools of his deepest memories, which held secrets he'd been trying to unlock. It was now that Sirius sat straight up in his bed, like he'd done many times before when he'd been dreaming of her. He let out a sigh as the blankets fell from his bare chest and piled around his waist. A new wave of familiar guilt washed over him as he lowered his forehead to his hands. He was dreaming about her again, and yet he'd taken the sleeping draught. It had been working so well. He thought hard about the hours prior when he'd taken the potion. Had it not been enough? He let his hands slid up his face to his dark rich hair, where he tugged on it in frustration. Maybe some more of the potion would remedy his dreams?
When he got to his dark kitchen, he noticed it was almost morning, he felt as though he'd barely slept. He found the bottle of dark red liquid and poured some of it into a nearby phial. He wasn't sure if taking more would be okay, but he didn't want to dream of her. He glanced at a photo of him and James that hung on the wall. Would this always plague him? Would the guilt of dreaming of his best friends wife always follow him, and would he never know what it was that his mind was trying to tell him? Here he was, their Secret Keeper. Lily, James and Harry's life all rested in the palm of his hand, and yet he was struggling to keep his hand safely around them. He was struggling to keep his own life in order, and yet he was protecting another life. Would James still trust him this much if he knew who it was Sirius had been seeing in his head for the last three years? In two days Lily would have been married to James for two years. Had she been coveted since the day they married? Sirius raised his glass towards the picture, as if toasting to his friend, and then downed the bubbling and hissing potion in one large gulp. Sirius made a face as the horrible tasting drink slowly made its way down his throat. He threw the phial in the sink and trotted back to bed, not realizing that although his mind would be sleeping his body was going to be very much awake. Sirius did not realize that Peter Pettigrew, in his rat form, was sitting on his bedroom window sill, motioning to Lord Voldemort that Sirius had indeed gone back to bed. And as Sirius fell back to sleep, he did not hear the silenced entry of the Dark Lord.
"Well now that I have Sirius Black in my clutches, the rest of this should be easy," Voldemort whispered, as he stood of a sleeping Sirius.
"Should I go tell James he needs to come home soon?" Peter asked glancing at the clouds through the window noticing that their edges were beginning to turn a lighter shade of blue.
"No, Bella sent word that the riot is only just beginning. Plus you have to give me time to actually make this happen." Voldemort muttered.
"Do you really think Potter will make me his secret keeper after this?" Peter asked.
"Well it will be a full moon, tomorrow night, so little werewolf boy won't be able to do the job now will he?" Voldemort reminded Peter through gritted teeth as he moved his cold beady eyes to Sirius, "Slumbercento!"
A blue light emerged from Voldemort's wand and rested over Sirius, slowly sinking into his skin.
"Now he won't wake up, while I do this," Voldemort explained, raising him voice a little, "Won't be able to fight the curse,"
Peter giggled and clapped his hands.
"Well I think its time Sirius woke up and paid a visit to the Potter's place, what do you think Wormtail?"
"Oh I think Lily would be quite pleased to see Padfoot!" Peter squealed, "Remember, Dumbledore said he was beginning to remember something, so just make him pretend like he's remembered and it should go very well."
"Good, after Sirius leaves, give him about twenty minutes head start before you go and tell James to come home," Voldemort warned.
"What should I tell James?"
"We went over this!" Voldemort yelled, becoming angry, "Tell him something is the matter with Harry and he'll run home!"
"Okay, twenty minutes," Peter nodded.
"Imperio!" Voldemort cried pointing his wand at Sirius.
As soon as the sun hit the cottage house in Godric's Hollow Lily sat straight up in her bed. She glanced around the room searching for James. His pajama's still sat on the floor where he'd dropped them. The blankets were still pulled down on his side. Lily fell back down on the bed letting out a sigh. Shouldn't James be home by now? Maybe he was, and he just hadn't wanted to wake her up. She pulled herself out of bed, and rushed to open the door. The kitchen and hallway were dark, the bathroom door was open. She turned the handle to Harry's nursery. Harry was still sleeping peacefully in his crib. She reached over the bars and stroked his dark hair, wishing that James were here. Safe, Home. Suddenly she had an idea. Perhaps Dumbledore knew of James's whereabouts, perhaps Dumbledore could persuade James to come home. She ran back to her bed room and grabbed her dressing robe. She pulled it around her tightly and then reached for some flew powder and kneeled down to look for Dumbledore. She threw the powder in, commanding the green flames to take her to Dumbledore's office. She stuck her head in the flames, and peered out at the empty office. Dumbledore's desk stood empty, Fawkes was missing from his perch.
"Professor Dumbledore?" Lily called.
There was no answer.
"Professor Dumbledore?" She cried again, more desperately.
"Albus," she sighed, she closed her eyes.
Perhaps he was still sleeping. It was early. She pulled herself out of the fireplace. A figure moved from the upper level of the office.
"Albus?" Lily questioned, but Professor McGonagall emerged from the shadows.
Her long black hair was dangling past her shoulders, and Lily was taken back not to see it pulled up into a severely tight bun.
"Lily," she called, "What brings you here, is everything alright?"
"I am sorry Professor; I was looking for Professor Dumbledore,"
"I am afraid you wont find him at Hogwarts dear," McGonagall said wearily, "I'm sure you heard about the riot in lower London, I'm afraid even Professor Dumbledore was called to aid, their have been many deaths, wizard and muggle."
Lily let out a gasp, no Dumbledore, wizard deaths?
"James." she let out.
"James?" Professor McGonagall cried, "He didn't go did he? I thought you were in hiding?"
"He told the ministry he was on sick leave, they came to retrieve him last night, Moody apologized but they needed him. Professor, you don't think." She paused not wanting to say what she thought, "you don't think James could be dead do you?"
"No, of course not," McGonagall comforted, "You look horrible, why don't you go back home and get some rest, James will be home soon I'm sure of it!"
Lily nodded, feeling butterflies rise in her stomach. She grabbed some more floo powder and stepped back into the fire place. She named her own house and in few seconds the green flame engulfed her.
When the whirling finally stopped she stood in her own living room, but she wasn't alone. Sirius was sitting in her favorite arm chair, but he jumped up as she emerged from the fireplace, rubbing soot from her dressing robe.
"Sirius," she cried, "Were you at the Riot, did you see James, is he okay?"
Sirius remained silent, as he walked towards her.
"Sirius?" she asked, but more quietly.
There was something different, about the way he moved. The actions seemed forced. Was he okay?
"I didn't go to the riot, I am too amateur, they didn't contact me," he said in a low voice.
"James, he was called, oh Sirius I am so afraid he is going to get hurt!" she said stepping towards him, but Sirius was staring straight into her eyes without blinking, "Sirius?"
"Lily," he sighed, in such a longing way that Lily's heart jumped.
"Sirius?" she questioned again narrowing her eyes, this time distancing herself from him.
"Lily I know," he whispered, closing in the distance between them.
"You know?" she questioned, her eyes growing large with fear, hoping, praying, he didn't know what she thought he might.
It couldn't have happened, she'd shut of her mind from him, she'd tried so hard, refused herself. Oh please, don't let him remember now.
"I've remembered Lily," he whispered, tears filling his eyes, "I've remembered everything," he continued getting closer.
Lily backed up slowly; she knew if he said the right things, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She wouldn't be able to put a pause on her heart, especially if he was willing to let her love him again. But you've made it this far, she scowled at herself. She continued backing up, staring into his deep eyes, getting lost in him.
"You love me," he whispered, as she backed herself into the wall, "I know you do,"
Her lips began to tremble, he knew, he really had remembered. She felt her body press against the coolness of the drywall as he continued to come closer. He was so close she could see the laugh lines around his eyes. So close she could feel his warm breath against her face. So close she could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"Oh Lily," he whispered, bringing his face closer.
Lily's heart beat had filled her head, and she was sure that the wall was vibrated from the large thumps. She was married. She loved James. James, he was out, he was out fighting the Death-eaters.
"Sirius," she breathed, blinking slowly, feeling her body throb for him, "I'm married,"
"But you love me," Sirius reminded, reaching up and putting a finger under her chin.
The gold ring that rested on his hand caught the light, and Lily was filled with warmth. She thought of his love, the love she'd forsaken and tried to forget all these years. And here it was standing in front of her, willing her to give in. His lips stood ready, just centimeters from hers, his eyes, pleaded with her, begging her to seal the reunion of their hearts. She grasped onto the wall as his face came extremely close. She felt his eyelashes flutter against her skin. She felt his warm lips caress her cheek, she let out a sigh. He ran his fingers through her hair, and then his lips met hers. She'd longed to feel the smoothness of his perfect lips in more than just dreams for so long. He rested his lips on hers for such a long time, and yet it felt like a split second. Her body trembled as he slowly ran his tongue along her lips, and she longed for his taste, longed for his love, longed for him. Her lips parted and Sirius deepened the kiss as she let out a moan, still grasping at the wall, still pushing her body against it. She felt the long lost passion rise through her body, and the heat come to her cheeks. She was aware of his body, as he pressed it against her. It had been so long, to long since she tasted his sweetness. She felt his hands against her face, stroking her face. Her breath became short as their lips moved against each other. Just when she thought her heart was going to explode it stopped dead, the room became icy.
"Sirius?" James's agonized voice broke through Lily's mind like a dagger.
As Sirius pulled away sharply Lily closed her eyes, as her body gave a last shudder.
"Lily?" James cried, he voice breaking.
An emotion rested in her throat as Lily tried hard to sink into the wall. She tried to swallow the lump that had risen, with no luck. Tears slipped through her closed eyes.
"James," she whispered, "Oh James,"