Scott had no intentions of helping Lance with his stupid idea. But at least he could take solace in the fact that Lance and his child-like brain were occupied, and out of his hair for the moment.


In just a hour of treasure hunting, Lance had used his powers to tear up most of the beach. Unfortunately, he found only soda cans and a bunch of old porno magazines.


"Look Scott!" Lance cried as he held one of the crusty magazines in the air. "One of these girls looks exactly like Jean!"


"Haha Alvers," Scott mocked in his reply. "That was so funny, I forgot to laugh."


"Good come back Pee Wee. Now why don't you help me look for the treasure?"


Scott was now fed up with Lance's treasure hunt. "I will have no more of this mischief!" Scott emphasized his point by crossing his arms and looking serious.


"What the hell did you say?" Lance questioned with a puzzled look on his face.


"You know what I said," Scott snapped back.


"Who the hell speaks like that?" Lance held up his arms. "Mischief? You sound like fucking Mr. Rogers."


Their retarded banter was interrupted when they heard what sounded like a human voice coming closer to them.


"Now you've done it Lance," admonished Scott. "The authorities are on to us. How can I get into a good college with a criminal record?"


Lance rolled his eyes and came over to Scott. "Scott, you are probably going to spend the rest of your adult life looking after that creepy old man in the wheelchair. The only college you are going to will be up Xavier's ass."


The person making the sounds was now in full view.


"Sir, sir," Scott said in his pleasant young man voice. "We are truly sorry about the beach. We will make any repairs and pay for the damages."


The man just stared at them blankly before speaking. "Dangnabitwatchatalkingaboutsonny?"


"Sir, I am not sure I understand you," Scott replied. "Se habla espanol?"


Lance pulled Scott aside and away from the person.


"You moron. Don't you know who that is?"


Scott took a look at the shabbily dressed man. He had a long dirty beard and appeared to be carrying a brown bag with a bottle inside.


"Why Lance, it's your father," Scott quipped. Then Scott laughed heartedly which was always something he tended to do when he thought he had been humorous.


Lance waited till Scott was done. "No you idiot. It's a real life bum, like you see on tv and in the movies."


"I have heard they are quite dangerous," Scott replied as he observed the bum taking a drink from the bottle in the bag. "What if he wants to accost us?"


"Scott," said Lance. "We are two mutants with super powers. I think we can take him."


Before the discussion could continue, Scott held his hand over Lance's mouth and whispered. "Oh no, here he comes."


The bum held out his hand as he spoke. "Dangnabitsomebodygivemeaquarter."


Lance now began to panic. "Scott, what do we do? It looks like he wants something from us."


Scott immediately entered stick-up-his-ass leader mode. "Let us decide our tactics, Lance."


Lance nodded. "You're the leader Scott."


"Number 1, we can give into his hostile demands, but there is a chance that he will think we are weak and demand more."


Lance nodded.


"Number 2, we can refuse his demands, but then we will likely have to fight him."


Lance nodded again while pounding his gloved fist into his open hand in a menacing fashion.


"Number 3, we can offer to...Oh shit! He is coming right toward us."


"Run!" Lance screamed as they both took off down the beach.


The bum was just left scratching his head. "Dangnabithomosexualqueersruiningmybeach."