Chapter One
Impending Trip
Alexander Browning, seventeen and a senior in high school, was not looking forward to the last class trip he would ever take. He knew he had every reason to be as excited as the rest of his class, it was Paris after all, but he just couldn't work up the excitement that he was supposed to have. He was certain that it wasn't the fact that he didn't really understand a word of the French language, after all, his best friend didn't understand French any better then he did and Tod was too excited to be contained.
It wasn't that. Alex couldn't really put his finger on what it was but he knew it was something. Every time he thought about setting foot on the plane he got slightly nauseous and his stomach tied itself up in knots. He got the same feeling when he looked at his open suitcase, already half full with wrinkled shirts and other items of clothing.
Alex picked up his "Touring France" guidebook, noticing that it was residing in front of "Death of a Salesman" which managed to unnerve him even more. He ignored the play and tossed the guidebook onto his bed, looking over at his mother just as she entered the room.
"Alex, Mr. Wagner just called, he's going to be by to pick you up in an hour." Barbara Browning informed her only son, frowning down at the bunched up outfits in the suitcase.
The senior in high school looked at his mother and nodded once, taking a deep breath. He was really going to Paris, there were no two ways about it. Only lately had he begun to get really nervous, feeling like something terribly wrong was about to happen but he couldn't decide what.
After straightening her son's clothes and dropping a few more outfits inside the suitcase, Barbara left Alex's room once again, leaving him alone to think and possibly figure out his feelings. He had tried to talk to Tod Wagner, whom he had known since grade school, but his friend had been too preoccupied with thinking of the trip to listen to his worries.
Alex wandered over to his bedroom window and peered outside, noticing that the day was slightly overcast. It would probably rain later, which didn't bode well for the impending trip. On top of everything, Alex didn't need turbulence on his plane ride.
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again. I just want to feel, deep in my own world. On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened. But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin. I just want to feel, safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again." Alex sang under his breath, not really realizing that he was doing such a thing.
His candid words do nothing to ease the fear that he felt inside; he realized it was fear, and not simply a case of the nerves. He was honestly afraid of getting onto the plane headed for Paris and Alex didn't remember ever being afraid like this before.
~*~*~
Alex stuffed his rolling suitcase on top of a mountain of other suitcases that all rested in the cargo hold underneath the Greyhound bus that had been roped into taking forty rowdy seniors to JFK airport. Tod and his brother George threw their bags in as well, both of them laughing about their plans in Paris and not noticing that Alex wasn't sharing in their excitement.
The trio climbed onto the bus, taking seats in the middle, sitting behind Carter Horton and his girlfriend Terry Chaney and in front of Clear Rivers, who was sitting by herself beside the window, staring at her feet. Alex glanced behind him, noticing Clear for a second before sitting down, also beside the window, which was just fine with him because he knew looking outside would help take his mind off the trip.
Tod and George continued to joke around, Tod knocking into the back of Carter's chair, which only drew unwanted attention from the jock, who turned around to face the gangly boy. "I'm warning you Wagner, touch my seat again and I'm going to kick your ass." He growled, narrowing his eyes and ignoring the 'hey cool it' look that Miss Valerie Lewton was shooting him from the front of the bus.
Unable to resist, Tod grinned at the dark-haired jock and lightly kicked the back of the chair in front of him, causing George and Alex to shake their heads, the sort of look one would give to a man about to jump off a bridge. Carter jumped to his feet and looked like he was about to jump over the back of his seat, taking a swing at Tod, who ducked before the fist could make contact. That didn't stop Carter from continuing his attempt to throttle the boy; Tod leapt to his feet as well, attempting to make a dash for it.
At the sound of the commotion, Clear lifted her head and narrowed her eyes before rolling them. It wasn't anything new for Carter to want to beat up one of his peers but she hadn't expected him to start a fight so soon. She had at least expected them to be in the airport before he found some stupid reason to pound on someone.
"Hey, knock it off." Valerie Lewton commanded, getting to her feet and heading down the aisle. Carter ignored her and grabbed the collar to Tod's shirt, preparing to throttle the poor defenseless boy. "I am warning you Carter Horton if you don't let Tod go you will not be going on this trip."
Miss Lewton's threat obviously got to the jock, who let go of Tod and turned around, trying to act as though nothing had happened. Clear sighed, shaking her head slightly, about to pull a book out of her black shoulder-bag when she noticed that Alex Browning was sitting in front of her.
Now, it wasn't common knowledge, but Clear had been nursing a crush on Alex since Freshmen year and those feelings still hadn't gone away. They just hadn't manifested themselves yet but she had decided against her better judgment to confess her feelings to him in Paris. Sort of a last stand type thing; it was, after all, the end of the school year and who knew when she was going to see Alex again.
Thinking about him now, and looking at his handsome profile caused butterflies to hatch inside her stomach and she felt her cheeks getting red. Hoping no one would notice, Clear bowed her head, looking at Alex out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows. I'm staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red; I'm searching for the words inside my head. I'm feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect, 'cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
"If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down, on one knee, marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say.
"It won't do me any good, it's just a waste of time. What use is it to you what's on my mind? If it ain't coming out, we're not going anywhere so why can't I just tell you that I care? 'Cause I'm feeling so nervous, trying to be so perfect, 'cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
"If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight? If could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee: marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say."
Clear was silent once again, sighing deeply and leaning back in her seat; Alex was talking with Tod, while shouting Carter weary glances. No one noticed her, but no one ever did.
The bus rumbled to life and pulled out of the Mt. Abraham High School parking lot. The trip had officially begun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so it's not so musical like just yet; for those of you who have seen the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" musical: "Once More, With Feeling", I'm sort of going for that idea: they have to sing what they feel but the person they're singing to or about doesn't always pay attention. I also have my own idea Alex's vision, so review and the next chapter will come.
Impending Trip
Alexander Browning, seventeen and a senior in high school, was not looking forward to the last class trip he would ever take. He knew he had every reason to be as excited as the rest of his class, it was Paris after all, but he just couldn't work up the excitement that he was supposed to have. He was certain that it wasn't the fact that he didn't really understand a word of the French language, after all, his best friend didn't understand French any better then he did and Tod was too excited to be contained.
It wasn't that. Alex couldn't really put his finger on what it was but he knew it was something. Every time he thought about setting foot on the plane he got slightly nauseous and his stomach tied itself up in knots. He got the same feeling when he looked at his open suitcase, already half full with wrinkled shirts and other items of clothing.
Alex picked up his "Touring France" guidebook, noticing that it was residing in front of "Death of a Salesman" which managed to unnerve him even more. He ignored the play and tossed the guidebook onto his bed, looking over at his mother just as she entered the room.
"Alex, Mr. Wagner just called, he's going to be by to pick you up in an hour." Barbara Browning informed her only son, frowning down at the bunched up outfits in the suitcase.
The senior in high school looked at his mother and nodded once, taking a deep breath. He was really going to Paris, there were no two ways about it. Only lately had he begun to get really nervous, feeling like something terribly wrong was about to happen but he couldn't decide what.
After straightening her son's clothes and dropping a few more outfits inside the suitcase, Barbara left Alex's room once again, leaving him alone to think and possibly figure out his feelings. He had tried to talk to Tod Wagner, whom he had known since grade school, but his friend had been too preoccupied with thinking of the trip to listen to his worries.
Alex wandered over to his bedroom window and peered outside, noticing that the day was slightly overcast. It would probably rain later, which didn't bode well for the impending trip. On top of everything, Alex didn't need turbulence on his plane ride.
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again. I just want to feel, deep in my own world. On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened. But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin. I just want to feel, safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again." Alex sang under his breath, not really realizing that he was doing such a thing.
His candid words do nothing to ease the fear that he felt inside; he realized it was fear, and not simply a case of the nerves. He was honestly afraid of getting onto the plane headed for Paris and Alex didn't remember ever being afraid like this before.
~*~*~
Alex stuffed his rolling suitcase on top of a mountain of other suitcases that all rested in the cargo hold underneath the Greyhound bus that had been roped into taking forty rowdy seniors to JFK airport. Tod and his brother George threw their bags in as well, both of them laughing about their plans in Paris and not noticing that Alex wasn't sharing in their excitement.
The trio climbed onto the bus, taking seats in the middle, sitting behind Carter Horton and his girlfriend Terry Chaney and in front of Clear Rivers, who was sitting by herself beside the window, staring at her feet. Alex glanced behind him, noticing Clear for a second before sitting down, also beside the window, which was just fine with him because he knew looking outside would help take his mind off the trip.
Tod and George continued to joke around, Tod knocking into the back of Carter's chair, which only drew unwanted attention from the jock, who turned around to face the gangly boy. "I'm warning you Wagner, touch my seat again and I'm going to kick your ass." He growled, narrowing his eyes and ignoring the 'hey cool it' look that Miss Valerie Lewton was shooting him from the front of the bus.
Unable to resist, Tod grinned at the dark-haired jock and lightly kicked the back of the chair in front of him, causing George and Alex to shake their heads, the sort of look one would give to a man about to jump off a bridge. Carter jumped to his feet and looked like he was about to jump over the back of his seat, taking a swing at Tod, who ducked before the fist could make contact. That didn't stop Carter from continuing his attempt to throttle the boy; Tod leapt to his feet as well, attempting to make a dash for it.
At the sound of the commotion, Clear lifted her head and narrowed her eyes before rolling them. It wasn't anything new for Carter to want to beat up one of his peers but she hadn't expected him to start a fight so soon. She had at least expected them to be in the airport before he found some stupid reason to pound on someone.
"Hey, knock it off." Valerie Lewton commanded, getting to her feet and heading down the aisle. Carter ignored her and grabbed the collar to Tod's shirt, preparing to throttle the poor defenseless boy. "I am warning you Carter Horton if you don't let Tod go you will not be going on this trip."
Miss Lewton's threat obviously got to the jock, who let go of Tod and turned around, trying to act as though nothing had happened. Clear sighed, shaking her head slightly, about to pull a book out of her black shoulder-bag when she noticed that Alex Browning was sitting in front of her.
Now, it wasn't common knowledge, but Clear had been nursing a crush on Alex since Freshmen year and those feelings still hadn't gone away. They just hadn't manifested themselves yet but she had decided against her better judgment to confess her feelings to him in Paris. Sort of a last stand type thing; it was, after all, the end of the school year and who knew when she was going to see Alex again.
Thinking about him now, and looking at his handsome profile caused butterflies to hatch inside her stomach and she felt her cheeks getting red. Hoping no one would notice, Clear bowed her head, looking at Alex out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows. I'm staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red; I'm searching for the words inside my head. I'm feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect, 'cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
"If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down, on one knee, marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say.
"It won't do me any good, it's just a waste of time. What use is it to you what's on my mind? If it ain't coming out, we're not going anywhere so why can't I just tell you that I care? 'Cause I'm feeling so nervous, trying to be so perfect, 'cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
"If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I wanna blow you away. Be with you every night, am I squeezing you too tight? If could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee: marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say."
Clear was silent once again, sighing deeply and leaning back in her seat; Alex was talking with Tod, while shouting Carter weary glances. No one noticed her, but no one ever did.
The bus rumbled to life and pulled out of the Mt. Abraham High School parking lot. The trip had officially begun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so it's not so musical like just yet; for those of you who have seen the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" musical: "Once More, With Feeling", I'm sort of going for that idea: they have to sing what they feel but the person they're singing to or about doesn't always pay attention. I also have my own idea Alex's vision, so review and the next chapter will come.