Summary: Day 3, 9-10 P.M. There is nothing left to lose.
Spoilers: Day 3, 9-10 P.M.
Standard disclaimers apply.
Original Character Bios: Liz Rycoff, after surviving the first two days, no longer works at CTU. Instead, she took over Mason's position after he died, in order to protect CTU from another annoying bureaucratic panic, but she's not really qualified. Still, she soldiers on. Liz was close friends with Mason, but now all she really has left is Jack. The two of them started a relationship about a year after Day 2, but it's kind of going slowly. She also had a failed non-relationship of sorts with Tony between Day 1 and Day 2, and Tony's intervention made Liz realize that in trying to save everyone, she ended up getting lost.
David Taylor is Liz's assistant, ex-field ops himself. Smart, full of sardonic
humor, and generally a stand-up guy, he has been there for her even when she's
never asked. He has taken the term literally, making it his job to know
everything about her, to be everything she needs him to be, and to stay with
her like a loyal retriever. Having worked with her for three years now, he has
become a friend of hers especially as she goes through days without Jack around
to help her.
Dedication: Kiefer Sutherland for being my favorite hero currently on the air. And Sarah Clarke for being a kick-ass villainess. And dammit, Joel and Bob and Howard love to punch me in the stomach. Warning: as surely as I wanted to stab my own eyes out during the Jack/Claudia scene, some of you may need some Kleenex here. This is not a happy moment for our heroes.
Recommended Listening: Loads of Fuel went into this one, but "Die Like This" is probably the best track.
David Taylor's fingers went to his temples at the sudden, stabbing pain that forced his eyes shut and his jaw to set. It was a momentary wince, but nobody was stupid, and they picked up on it.
"You okay?" Adam, who was standing nearby, asked him, and he nodded. "Yeah. I have no idea where that came from." Yet the phone on Adam's desk suddenly rang, and then David knew exactly where that pain had been coming from. The other end of that line.
"Get the phone," he told Adam, but Adam was already on it, David hovering over his shoulder, asking if that was her. Adam gave one short nod – it was the woman they were waiting for.
He punched the speakerphone button.
The filtering of the static made Elisabeth Rycoff's voice sound a bit harsh, almost tempered. For the last half hour, maybe, she had been down in Las Nieves, Mexico, having caught a flight down with fellow CTU agent Chase Edmunds in order to come to the assistance of their friend and comrade, Jack Bauer. Of course, David also knew the rest of the story – Jack was also Liz's lover of the last two years, and she was down there not only because Jack would likely need help if something went wrong (which something had, but she didn't know that), but because Jack had betrayed her trust by not telling her he was going back undercover, and she needed to know what she had left to do if she couldn't trust him anymore.
"Liz, are you okay?" David had to ask. He had to know.
She came back: "Define okay, David, I'm fucking blind out here."
The agent's blood chilled. "What do you mean?" he said.
Liz's voice was even as she broke to him the bad news. "Chase and I got into a fight on the plane, I didn't get to tell him anything. We went different ways. I got to the Salazar ranch just as people were leaving … I've been trying to track them since and I don't know where I am."
Adam waved Tony Almeida over and quickly explained to him the situation. Tony was in a bad mood to begin with and this didn't help him at all. "Liz," he cut in, "we think Chase was captured. We sent people down to meet you, our guy is dead and Chase was shot at. He still doesn't know about Jack."
"Damn, Tony." Liz's sharp exhalation could be heard over the line. "Look, I don't know what I can do, I've got a phone and a gun with two clips."
"The best thing you can do right now is tell us where you are."
"Tony, I don't know!" She sounded just as exasperated as he was. "I tried to follow the cars as far as I could. There were at least two or three. I couldn't get a make on who was inside. I've tracked them to the middle of nowhere … they're just idling, I think they're waiting for something."
Tony glanced at Adam and David and spoke the first thing on his mind: "It has to be the virus." Quickly, his brain snapped into ordering mode. Chase might have been captured, but with Liz on site they had a chance at keeping close to Jack, and they also had one operative still at large. "Just hang back and see what's going on out there. No matter what happens, don't move. We'll keep this line open for you."
"All right."
"Liz." Now his tone was cautionary, knowing her as he did, knowing what she might do if the worst-case scenario happened. "Even if it's Jack."
"I know."
Tony exhaled. He had to trust her judgment, and she'd given him no reason not to. There was no reason to push the issue any further. "Okay. Call when something goes down."
She seemed almost resigned. "I will."
"Take care of yourself." Tony listened to the line click dead and looked at the other two men again. Adam didn't really know Liz that well but he had that look on his face like he knew this was something else ready to snap. David, meanwhile, there was fear in that man's eyes. Tony would have felt the same if he'd spent so much time at Liz's side day in and day out, the way the Division officer had. "We need to hope she can locate Jack, and then we need to go from there."
He paused before he chose his next words: "She's going to have to do this on her own."
What he'd forgotten was that she had been doing this alone for longer than he ever knew.
***
Liz lay in the undergrowth behind one of the trees in the area with the rather obvious tent like a giant white blemish. The last half hour or however long it was had not been kind to her. The clothes she'd worn had been battered around and she'd be lucky if her top shirt would actually make it back in one piece with all the navigating she'd done to get to this point. But beyond that, her mind was filled with ideas of Chase Edmunds dead or dying because she had gotten into a fight with him and stalked off too far to get back to him in time. She didn't want her last words to him to be ones she'd screamed out of frustration and anger at somebody who wasn't him.
That somebody could be dead, too, she reminded herself. She couldn't tell if
Jack had been in the cars when the Salazars had left their ranch. For all she
knew, he could either be with them or he could be a corpse in their backyard.
Suppressing a shudder, she forced herself to believe that he was alive. He had
to be alive because she loved him and his daughter needed him, and more importantly
in her eyes, his country needed him. She only hoped he knew what he was doing,
risking it all, sending himself into certain hell.
Her anger at not being told about any of this bubbled under the surface. That first day four and a half years ago, she hadn't initially been told either, but then there had been threats about a mole and Jack had been acting on other people's advice. He'd come to trust her. But this time, he was risking too much and she hadn't even gotten so much as a heads-up, despite what he knew it would do to her. Maybe that was why he'd done it.
There were the sounds of approaching vehicles and she made sure she was firmly
covered, one hand inching its way toward the grip of the SigArm Competition in
its holster on her belt. David's firearm, and she didn't know if that would
make any difference when she used it. She'd gotten used to her SigArm P226, the
same weapon Jack used and had taught her to use. But then again, she supposed,
all she had to do was aim and fire, and she had plenty of motivation to do just
that.
She watched with fear inside of her as the doors of the lead SUV opened and Ramon and Hector Salazar emerged. Then like an epiphany in blackest night, there was Jack, alive and apparently unharmed. Liz didn't dare so much as breathe a sigh of relief, but the sight of the man she loved was like a shock to her system, of both joy and an unexpected pain. Happiness at his presence, his survival, but agony at his duplicity, his suffering.
Sudden water came to her eyes and she wiped it away, surprised at the sound of more approaching vehicles. Her brain and her pulse sped up. This didn't make sense. The Salazars were already here and so were the apparent sellers of the virus. What the hell was going on? She shifted slightly to be able to get a better angle as Jack and the Salazars turned to regard the incoming parties. What happened next made her heart stop and her vision go red, her fingernails digging into the palms of her hands in a desperate attempt to keep from outright screaming or taking a shot she couldn't afford.
Emerging from the lead of the new vehicles was Nina Myers.
Liz's hatred of the woman was boundless, beginning with her betrayal of CTU four and a half years prior and the murder of her close friend Teri Bauer and continuing from there. Like Jack and Tony she'd often had dreams of putting a bullet into the woman's skull or making her pay for what she had done. The continual failure to bring her to justice was like a knife that twisted and refused to give. It seemed that Nina was a satanic specter hanging over their lives, appearing in each hellish day, to torment them even further even as the world closed in on them yet again. If she ever had a chance, she had no doubt that she would kill Nina where she stood, right or wrong, no matter what the cost. It would be worth it to avenge Teri, to let Jack and Tony finally breathe easier, to silence the demons hatred for her had bred inside of Liz's own soul. It took all of her self-control to lie there and do nothing as Satan's handmaiden was only feet away from her.
She checked Jack for a reaction. The quick flash of surprise, then hatred, then an operational numbness. He had to shut himself down. A few moments later he exchanged words with Ramon, no doubt simply explaining Nina as easily as he could. Though Jack had gone cold in some ways since he'd come back from the first run – or maybe since he'd lost Teri – he would never be cold to Nina and what she had done to him, could still do to him, and the revenge that he could never have.
Liz held her breath, let it out, and waited. She was always waiting for Jack. If Nina happened to be caught in the middle, no one could be held responsible for what happened next.
***
Jack let out a long breath as he finished explaining the terms of the final bid to Hector and Ramon, both of whom didn't look happy but had no choice but to comply. He left them alone to argue over the exact number, telling them he'd be back at the end of the fifteen minutes, needing to take a walk. He needed to process everything that was happening, from Chase to Claudia to – and most especially – the sudden return of Nina. Each day that threatened to break him, she was always there.
He wandered off, past the parked vehicles and away from the noise, toward the couple of trees and the neglected undergrowth, feeling a headache coming on. He had to stay strong. Not only was he fighting his addiction, now he was fighting all the stress and bitter memories. That, he knew, was going to be an uphill battle. Not like he had any choice but to fight it.
"Jack, don't move."
The hand on his shoulder startled him and he grabbed it with a force, turning on his heel, fully prepared to break it if he had to. He knew that he knew the voice, and for two seconds he thought it was Nina, but for a familiar flash of auburn in the darkness. Bewildered, he let go of her hand, knowing he'd been crushing it, and watched her flex the fingers before she met his eyes.
"Liz, what are you doing here?" His voice was quiet, desperate – if they caught her or caught him with her it would kill them both, if not literally certainly emotionally.
"I came with Chase – I came to help you." Even in the relative darkness, the light in her eyes was strong.
"How did you get here?" The questions kept coming, there were so many he could ask, and he had so little time to ask them of her.
"Chase and I got into a fight, I walked off and I managed to track the vehicles to the ranch." She ran a hand through her hair. "Tell me what you need me to do, Jack, and I'll do it."
"I need you not to get killed." He glanced over his shoulder, wondering if anyone could see them, relieved when he realized they were completely alone and quite well protected. She'd chosen a good location. "Did you see Nina?"
"Yeah, I saw her." Liz's voice went hard around the edges. "I'll do whatever I can to stop her, you know that, Jack."
"I know. Do you have a way to contact CTU?"
"Yeah, I do. I have a phone." She gave him the number, she had no idea why, but maybe because she was used to always having him on the other end of any phone line.
"All right. Call them and tell them Nina is here. Tell them Chase has been captured and he's being held at the Salazars' ranch. There's a woman there, Claudia, she's Hector's girlfriend and I promised her I would get her family out of there if she helped me get Chase out. Your best bet is to go back there and help her to free Chase."
"Jack, what about you? I'm not leaving you here. You can tell them I was shadowing the deal…"
"Damn it, Liz, I'm not going to do that. The Salazars don't need much more of a reason to put a bullet in my head if this goes badly. I don't want you to be part of that, too. Go back to the ranch and get Chase. The two of you can protect Claudia and her family and if something goes down, you can find me again."
"It's not good enough for me, Jack."
"What?" he said, thrown. She had never questioned anything he'd asked her to do, never in a dire situation like this. Not on any of the days before. But he saw a firm sadness in her eyes that made him stop where he was standing, suddenly exposed his vulnerabilities to the world.
Liz swallowed hard as she reached up to almost absently stroke his cheek, needing to feel him there, needing to know she was doing this to his face. Needing to know it was the right thing to do and that hopefully he would understand that. "I've fought with you for ten years, Jack," she told him, her voice quiet. "I stood by you even when you turned your back on me. But to come back here and risk everything, to not even tell me, and to send me off … You said you'd never leave me again. You lied."
His lips were pursed for a reply, but he couldn't find an argument to save his life. Instead, he just listened to her continue, "Things are different now. I love you too much not to hold the mirror up." She swallowed, and almost couldn't get out the next sentence. "I'll go. And I'll be here. But when this is done … I don't know if I can do this anymore."
"Liz." His voice was almost choked, surprised at the hold she had on his life, how much he needed her, especially now. "Don't leave me," he said, almost pleading, and it had nothing to do with the operation taking place off in the distance.
"I'm sorry, Jack." There was mist in her eyes; he could see it in the dim light. "But right now you need to finish this and you have to do it without me."
She leaned up and he leaned down and they kissed, a gesture filled with desperation and a sadness and a longing to simply be with each other, but knowing that for right now, such serenity was an impossibility. As he kissed her, as he held her, Jack tried to hope that it wasn't the last time, that it wasn't goodbye, but his heart told him he didn't know. And it hurt more than he could ever imagine it would.
Breaking the kiss, the two of them looked into each other's eyes one last time. There was so much need, so much love, so much respect in Jack's eyes, still stunned by the fact that the woman he'd thought would never leave, perhaps even taken for granted, was turning away from him. The strength of his emotions threatened to crush her heart, but it did not change the commitment, nor the infinite sadness, through which she looked at him until she couldn't look at him anymore.
*The angels cry tonight
As the rain washed that lonely place
From their eyes
And softly as she said
You know our hearts will never get
Out alive
She made no sound
Then goodbye*
Silently Liz turned and started to walk away, though it took every last ounce of willpower she had built up over a decade to do so, to not turn back and to not break down entirely. This man was the most important thing in her life, more important than her principles, more important than her future, but she didn't want him to use her as a crutch or to try to shield her from the world they'd already lived in too long. He had made a choice that had risked too much, and somebody had to stand up to him. And beyond that, she'd finally found her breaking point. She'd crossed the line emotionally and now she felt herself coming apart.
As the distance between them got larger, the memories of their time together couldn't be held down in her mind. The moment they had met and she had felt the sensation in the back of her psyche that had told her this would be a man who would do important things and a man that would change her life. That first day when she had been there working to try and protect him, even when she didn't know all of what was going on. That second day when she had been in such a state because he'd turned his back on her and she hadn't been able to be there at all. The safety and security she'd felt when he'd kissed her for the first time. And now this third day was far from over and she was already out of line and out of time. Each time they splintered farther apart.
And yet what stung most of all was that she never looked back as she disappeared.
*She said love, don't call on me again
I never want to cry like this
Die like this
No more favors, my old friend
I never want to cry like this
Die like this*
Jack watched until she was consumed by the darkness, not in the same way in which he now felt he was prisoner without her hand there to keep him hanging on. He had to know that he had asked so much of her and that it would be tough to follow through even for somebody of her excellent constitution. Maybe that was why she had to do this. She'd been fighting for everything she'd ever accomplished in life, and even for people like that, there came a moment when it was just time to stop pushing themselves so far. Still she couldn't understand exactly what was going on in his mind. It wasn't as if he wanted to do this; he just had to do it. Nobody else could do what he could do.
Nobody else could be what she was to him but her. And now he'd have to choose.
He couldn't make that choice, not now, this moment. Shutting himself down mentally so that nobody would know what a loss he'd just suffered, he wiped the water out of his eyes with the back of his hand and checked his watch. There were only a few minutes left to spare. As if nothing was wrong, he walked back into the clearing and across it, to where Hector and Ramon had apparently stopped bickering and had settled on a number. They handed him back the envelope. In his mind, it almost felt like some sort of sick conciliatory award for what he'd just had torn away from him, but he didn't allow himself to think of that.
When Ramon asked him if there was a problem, he was able to lie and say everything was fine.
*And so we stood alone
But pain is always so betrayed
With our eyes
But I know now
On hearts the faithless can't rely
Do dreams make no sound
As they die*
The phone on Adam's desk gave another ring and this time he answered it with David and Tony already waiting for the words that might be said. This time, even the speakerphone couldn't hide the wear in their comrade's voice, nor the concern that it prompted in them all. But for all that, she pretended everything was fine even as it shattered under her hands.
"There's another group of people interested in the virus. They're being represented by Nina Myers."
"What?" Tony's incredulity was an understatement. "Are you sure?"
"I saw her with my own eyes, Tony. I don't know what's going on, but Jack's still in with the Salazars and it looks like there's going to be competition for the virus." She proceeded to describe the general location of where she was, and Adam rushed to get the CTU map corrected.
"Why aren't you with him?" Tony prompted Liz.
She didn't answer for a moment. Then: "He asked me to go. Back to the Salazars'
ranch. They have Chase and he's working with a woman there to get him out. I'm
supposed to get him and protect her."
Alarm bells went off in Tony's mind, but when he spoke, it was as a friend. "Liz, are you okay?"
"Far from it, Tony." But before he could call her out, her voice hardened up again. "Just do what you can to help us." And the line went dead, leaving Tony staring at a silent phone and wondering what the hell it all meant. Somewhere inside of him, though, he could guess at what pain was lurking just beneath the surface – a pain worse than all of before.
*She said love,
don't call on me again
I never want to cry like this
Die like this
No more favors, my old friend
I never want to cry like this
Die like this*
Liz made it back to the ranch in another fifteen minutes, driven on by her need to be distracted by something so she wouldn't dwell too long on her personal problems. She had to scout the area first. It was doubtful that the place would be completely bereft of people even if the Salazars had rounded up a team to go to the meeting, and she also had no idea where they were keeping Chase, either. When she got him out of there, she decided, she owed him one hell of an apology.
Then there was this matter of Claudia and her family. The name sounded vaguely familiar; maybe Jack had mentioned it to her or in the debrief, but it had been so long that she didn't remember. She didn't know who these people were, but if Jack had made them a promise, she was going to do her best to keep that. He didn't give his word to just anyone for just any reason. Still, she wondered what had happened there to make them so important. Whatever it was, she'd have to trust Jack that it was worth her and Chase's lives, and her abandoning him out there to Nina and whatever he was walking into.
She took one moment for herself, to stand there and reflect on all the things that had happened. She was risking her job, not to mention her life, even being here. Her failure to tell Chase the truth probably cost him something. And now she'd left Jack to face everything by himself. This day was forcing her to pay a high price indeed. Taking a long, shuddering breath, she closed her eyes and advanced on the ranch, knowing that no matter what the price, this was all she knew how to do. No matter who she had to let go to do it.
In
that moment, perhaps the last of them, she and Jack were looking through the
same eyes.
*No secrets from our sins
And the world would not subside
And the worst thing
Is knowing
That I'll survive*