Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I wish I did. Poor me.
It was a party at Aragorn's place!!! Aragorn sat in a seat inside the door, tapping his fingers impatiently. None of the guests had arrived yet.
"Fashionably late, my ass. They're just slow." Suddenly the doorbell rang. "Yes!" Aragorn cheered. He opened the door excitedly. It was Legolas.
"You look terrible," Legolas commented, eyeing Aragorn. The king, thinking it was a joke, just laughed. "No, really. You have GOT to take a bath. I, on the other hand, am stunningly gorgeous," said Legolas, tossing his hair and fluttering his eyelashes.
"Shut up and get inside," Aragorn snapped. "Stupid egotistic git," he added under his breath as Legolas stepped inside the doorway. Just as the door was shut, the bell rang again. Hoping it was someone less annoying than the elf, Aragorn opened the door. To his dismay, it was Merry and Pippin.
"Hello Strider!" Merry exclaimed cheerfully.
"You know, I AM king now," Aragorn said, sounding slightly miffed.
"Oh, right. King Strider, then. Our bad." Pippin smiled. Aragorn rolled his eyes and let the two hobbits come in. Pippin looked around in amazement. "Wow, you've sure cleaned up this shack since last time we saw it, King Strider. Is this real hardwood flooring, King Strider? Hey, when did you put in a sunroof, King Strider? When do we eat, King Strider? Where.."
"Oh, for crying out loud!" Legolas shouted. "It's ARAGORN! CALL HIM ARAGORN! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FURRY LITTLE SKULLS!" A rather unsightly vein popped out on Legolas' forehead. He frowned angrily. "Now look what you've done! That vein line will never go away now! My perfect, flawless skin is ruined!" Breaking down into sobs, Legolas ran for the bathroom in despair. Aragorn groaned.
"He'll never come out of there now," he muttered. But Pippin and Merry had wandered off to explore. With a pained sigh, Aragorn was about to flop into his chair when the doorbell rang again. "Please, God, let it be someone SANE," he prayed in a whisper. He opened the door to reveal Faramir. Aragorn let out a girly squeal. He was about to throw his arms around Faramir and scream "THANK YOU, GOD!" when Faramir cleared his throat uncomfortably.
"Sorry buddy, just dropped by to tell you I can't come to your party. Eowyn wants 'a romantic getaway in the mountains'. Silly twit of a woman, really, but she's the only one who will sleep with me. See ya later, mate." With that, Faramir disappeared down the stairs. Aragorn whimpered and fell to his knees.
"Get up, you idiotic man," came a deep voice, along with a hard smack to Aragorn's head by a stick. It was Gandalf.
"Um, OW!" Aragorn complained, climbing to his feet. Gandalf glared at him.
"That should teach you to lie vulnerably on the floor!" he snapped. Aragorn raised an eyebrow.
"Did Saruman stand you up again?" Gandalf was silent, looking very depressed. Then he burst into tears.
"The stupid blighter won't even call!" he wailed. Aragorn gazed at him sympathetically.
"Go on in and get Pippin to do an annoying little hobbit song-and-dance for you. That should cheer you right up." Aragorn patted him on the shoulder as the wizard went inside, sniffling pathetically. As the king was about to shut the door, Gimli appeared.
"Is the elf here?" he growled, his hands on his axe. Making a quick decision, Aragorn shook his head.
"Nah, he went to Mordor for a photo shoot."
"I knew it!" Gimli roared and ran off in the direction of Mordor.
"Stupid sod," muttered Aragorn, shaking his head. He sat down in his chair, deciding to pout for awhile at the distasterousness of his party. He impatiently waited for the other guests to arrive.