And Memories
Out on patrol that night, Buffy found herself in an unfamiliar part of one of the cemetaries that she'd come to know so well since they moved here. She looked up to find herself in front of a crypt that bore an uncanny resemblance to Spike's old crypt in Sunnydale. Her hand came up to rest on the door. She closed her eyes and remembered.
The night they met in the alley behind the Bronze. He'd called her "love" even then.
She saw him in the church with Angel and Drusilla. "I'd rather be fightin' you anyway."
When he'd offered to help her defeat Angel, she'd told him she hated him and he'd ansered, "And I'm all you've got." Ugh, and the awkwardness of that evening with her mother.
Newly-chipped Spike tied to the chair at Thanksgiving.
Spike chained up in the bathtub, sipping blood through a straw.
Standing in the sunlight wearing the Gem of Amara, beautiful blue eyes sparkling... with hatred.
On his knees, looking up at her, eyes full of love, proposing...........
She crumpled to the ground in tears, yet again. Suddenly, knifing through the agony, she sensed a presence -- vampire. And nearby. She wiped her eyes and turned, surreptitiously palming the stake from her pocket. Another fledgling. Seemed like they were all fledglings these days. As it dove for her, she pulled out the stake and let it impale itself and turn to dust. *How boring! I miss the challenge.* She stood, shook off the dust and looked around. Nothing else moving. Time for home... and bed.
She wandered around her room after showering, trailing her fingers over things. Familiar and yet not. She missed her old things, her old house, her old town... *What am I thinking? I MISS Sunnydale?* She poked at the feeling a little more. No, it wasn't Sunnydale that she missed. It was the familiarity. She missed patrolling with her friends, stopping for a mocha on the way home. She even missed the house crowded with Potentials the way it was at the end. She missed slipping down to the basement for a few minutes of quiet time with Spike. Spike -- there it was. She missed Spike.
How could she have been so blind? She had told Angel that she didn't love Spike, but admitted that he was in her heart. She thought it was just that he'd been part of her life for so long -- first fighting each other, then both of them fighting the demons, then finally fighting together. Side by side, back to back, truly together. She picked up the frame holding the picture Willow had printed for her that morning and gazed into his eyes. At last, she was ready to admit it. She loved Spike. She had said it to him there in the school, but she hadn't meant it, not really. And he had known. But now she did. And he'd never know.
Out on patrol that night, Buffy found herself in an unfamiliar part of one of the cemetaries that she'd come to know so well since they moved here. She looked up to find herself in front of a crypt that bore an uncanny resemblance to Spike's old crypt in Sunnydale. Her hand came up to rest on the door. She closed her eyes and remembered.
The night they met in the alley behind the Bronze. He'd called her "love" even then.
She saw him in the church with Angel and Drusilla. "I'd rather be fightin' you anyway."
When he'd offered to help her defeat Angel, she'd told him she hated him and he'd ansered, "And I'm all you've got." Ugh, and the awkwardness of that evening with her mother.
Newly-chipped Spike tied to the chair at Thanksgiving.
Spike chained up in the bathtub, sipping blood through a straw.
Standing in the sunlight wearing the Gem of Amara, beautiful blue eyes sparkling... with hatred.
On his knees, looking up at her, eyes full of love, proposing...........
She crumpled to the ground in tears, yet again. Suddenly, knifing through the agony, she sensed a presence -- vampire. And nearby. She wiped her eyes and turned, surreptitiously palming the stake from her pocket. Another fledgling. Seemed like they were all fledglings these days. As it dove for her, she pulled out the stake and let it impale itself and turn to dust. *How boring! I miss the challenge.* She stood, shook off the dust and looked around. Nothing else moving. Time for home... and bed.
She wandered around her room after showering, trailing her fingers over things. Familiar and yet not. She missed her old things, her old house, her old town... *What am I thinking? I MISS Sunnydale?* She poked at the feeling a little more. No, it wasn't Sunnydale that she missed. It was the familiarity. She missed patrolling with her friends, stopping for a mocha on the way home. She even missed the house crowded with Potentials the way it was at the end. She missed slipping down to the basement for a few minutes of quiet time with Spike. Spike -- there it was. She missed Spike.
How could she have been so blind? She had told Angel that she didn't love Spike, but admitted that he was in her heart. She thought it was just that he'd been part of her life for so long -- first fighting each other, then both of them fighting the demons, then finally fighting together. Side by side, back to back, truly together. She picked up the frame holding the picture Willow had printed for her that morning and gazed into his eyes. At last, she was ready to admit it. She loved Spike. She had said it to him there in the school, but she hadn't meant it, not really. And he had known. But now she did. And he'd never know.