A/N - Sorry for the long delay. I hope I haven't lost too many of my readers, but I had a serious attack of real life. We all know how that can be. I have several chapters just about ready, so I'll try to post them fairly quickly and recapture your attention. :-)
The Long Way Home, Part 2
The morning after the wedding dawned clear, bright and hot. Faith and Robin joined the group for breakfast to bid them farewell. It all passed in a blur for Buffy. At last, the six remaining pilgrims were back on the road.
Buffy only halfway paid attention to the animated conversations of the others as the miles of scenery flew past the windows. She knew they stopped for lunch -- somewhere. She knew she ate -- something. None of it really mattered. Each time they stopped for one of the sights William had on his list, Buffy got out of the van and oohed and ahhed along with the others. She felt almost the way she had all those years ago when they had brought her back. She was numb -- just going through the motions. But this time, there wouldn't be anyone to help her learn to feel again. She was going to have to do that on her own.
From Vegas, they had gone to the Grand Canyon, and from there on to Denver, by way of what felt to Buffy like every state park in the country. It was all beautiful, but she just didn't really care. A few days ago, they had been in St. Louis and as she looked down from the Arch, she remembered jumping off the tower. She still couldn't remember much about her time in Heaven, but the look in Spike's eyes as she cam down the stairs the night they brought her back would be close enough to Heaven for her now.
They pulled into Nashville at dusk and stopped for dinner before finding a place to stay. At Graceland the next day, Buffy kept hearing Spike singing "My Way" along with the Sex Pistols in her head. After the tour, and stopping at virtually every souvenir shop they passed along the way, William at last seemed to have had his fill of Elvis, and they headed back to the van to return to the hotel. She was startled from her reverie when William picked up the refrain that had been in her thoughts all day. She turned to look at him with her mouth hanging open. He trailed off into silence and looked back sheepishly. "Sorry. Eighties punk. It's something of a hobby of mine. Didn't mean to disturb."
"That's ok. Really. Believe it or not, it's exactly what I was hearing in my head. It's of the good." She smiled. He tilted his head, cocked his eyebrow and looked at her pensively for a moment before smiling back.
Two days later, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as the exits for Cleveland loomed ahead. Almost home. They'd be dropping William off to pick up his rental car the next morning and continue with his American adventure on his own. He had just slid into their group as though he'd always been there. Buffy barely even noticed him anymore. Apart from a few isolated incidents, she could no longer see why she had thought this insipid, mousy English professor was her Spike, and she was grateful that their time together was ending. Spike had been so exciting and dangerous, and he'd taken such delight in pitting the friends against each other or poking fun at one of them every chance he got. William seemed to go out of his way to make sure he never stepped on toes, literally and figuratively. Buffy sighed. She was bored. Ready to get home. Back to patrolling. Back to normal.The little reminders, though few and far between, were like daggers twisting in her heart.
They pulled into the driveway shortly after 11 that night. It had been almost two weeks and Buffy thought she'd scream if she had to face another landmark or museum or tacky tourist attraction. Home looked so good. She unlocked the door as the others were unpacking the van. "Guys, I'm just gonna run down to the convenience store for some breakfast-y stuff for the morning. I'll be back in a bit."
Giles looked over. "Oh, all right, that sounds marvelous. Did you want me to drive you? Can you manage?"
"I'll be fine, Giles." She stared at him trying to convey what she really meant with her eyes. Willow, Xander and Dawn looked at each other.
"Want some help, Buff? I'll just put this stuff in the house and then tag along if you like," Xander offered. He wasn't sure letting her go patrolling alone after they'd been gone so long was such a great idea. There'd been enough time for new vamps in town to set up nests that would be hard to take on solo. And she hadn't been training at all since they had left for Sunnydale.
"No, I'll be fine. Back in a bit. Really."
"Well, all right then, but be careful." Giles, Xander, Willow and Dawn watched as she waved and headed for the cemetary. William looked at the group, then turned to watch Buffy as well.
"Is the convenience store in a bad area or something? You all look so worried."
"Hmmm? Oh, no. I just thought perhaps she'd like to get inside, unpack, you know, that sort of thing, before she--" Xander handed another package from the van to Giles to interrupt him before he unintentionally revealed something that none of them felt William was prepared to know.
Giles looked down and rolled his eyes, completely distracted. "Dawn, is this yours? What do you think Buffy will say?"
Dawn ducked her head and retrieved the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign from the exasperated Watcher. "I just thought we should have it. I mean, there isn't really anyone else left that would appreciate it, is there? And it was just laying there, at the edge of the hole, under some rocks. I think it's the real one. The one Spike ran over. It's kind of a part of him, you know?" She looked up with tears in her eyes and Giles pulled her into a hug.
"Yes, you're probably right. No one else would appreciate it, would they? Just keep it out of Buffy's sight for awhile. I'm not sure she's ready for that just yet. All right?"
"OK. I'll go put it away, and then I'm headed for bed. I'm beat."
"I think we're all quite ready for some rest. It's been a very eventful couple of weeks."
Two hours later, Buffy sighed with relief as she slipped through the door. The house was dark and quiet. She put the milk and eggs into the refrigerator and headed for her room. She got undressed and ready for bed and slipped between the sheets. She reached out to touch Spike's face in the picture on her nightstand. *Good night, Spike. And goodbye. I'll always love you.*
D'Hoffryn smiled. "Not quite the man you hoped for, is he Slayer? A little dull, eh?" He chuckled to himself and sat back to watch.
The Long Way Home, Part 2
The morning after the wedding dawned clear, bright and hot. Faith and Robin joined the group for breakfast to bid them farewell. It all passed in a blur for Buffy. At last, the six remaining pilgrims were back on the road.
Buffy only halfway paid attention to the animated conversations of the others as the miles of scenery flew past the windows. She knew they stopped for lunch -- somewhere. She knew she ate -- something. None of it really mattered. Each time they stopped for one of the sights William had on his list, Buffy got out of the van and oohed and ahhed along with the others. She felt almost the way she had all those years ago when they had brought her back. She was numb -- just going through the motions. But this time, there wouldn't be anyone to help her learn to feel again. She was going to have to do that on her own.
From Vegas, they had gone to the Grand Canyon, and from there on to Denver, by way of what felt to Buffy like every state park in the country. It was all beautiful, but she just didn't really care. A few days ago, they had been in St. Louis and as she looked down from the Arch, she remembered jumping off the tower. She still couldn't remember much about her time in Heaven, but the look in Spike's eyes as she cam down the stairs the night they brought her back would be close enough to Heaven for her now.
They pulled into Nashville at dusk and stopped for dinner before finding a place to stay. At Graceland the next day, Buffy kept hearing Spike singing "My Way" along with the Sex Pistols in her head. After the tour, and stopping at virtually every souvenir shop they passed along the way, William at last seemed to have had his fill of Elvis, and they headed back to the van to return to the hotel. She was startled from her reverie when William picked up the refrain that had been in her thoughts all day. She turned to look at him with her mouth hanging open. He trailed off into silence and looked back sheepishly. "Sorry. Eighties punk. It's something of a hobby of mine. Didn't mean to disturb."
"That's ok. Really. Believe it or not, it's exactly what I was hearing in my head. It's of the good." She smiled. He tilted his head, cocked his eyebrow and looked at her pensively for a moment before smiling back.
Two days later, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as the exits for Cleveland loomed ahead. Almost home. They'd be dropping William off to pick up his rental car the next morning and continue with his American adventure on his own. He had just slid into their group as though he'd always been there. Buffy barely even noticed him anymore. Apart from a few isolated incidents, she could no longer see why she had thought this insipid, mousy English professor was her Spike, and she was grateful that their time together was ending. Spike had been so exciting and dangerous, and he'd taken such delight in pitting the friends against each other or poking fun at one of them every chance he got. William seemed to go out of his way to make sure he never stepped on toes, literally and figuratively. Buffy sighed. She was bored. Ready to get home. Back to patrolling. Back to normal.The little reminders, though few and far between, were like daggers twisting in her heart.
They pulled into the driveway shortly after 11 that night. It had been almost two weeks and Buffy thought she'd scream if she had to face another landmark or museum or tacky tourist attraction. Home looked so good. She unlocked the door as the others were unpacking the van. "Guys, I'm just gonna run down to the convenience store for some breakfast-y stuff for the morning. I'll be back in a bit."
Giles looked over. "Oh, all right, that sounds marvelous. Did you want me to drive you? Can you manage?"
"I'll be fine, Giles." She stared at him trying to convey what she really meant with her eyes. Willow, Xander and Dawn looked at each other.
"Want some help, Buff? I'll just put this stuff in the house and then tag along if you like," Xander offered. He wasn't sure letting her go patrolling alone after they'd been gone so long was such a great idea. There'd been enough time for new vamps in town to set up nests that would be hard to take on solo. And she hadn't been training at all since they had left for Sunnydale.
"No, I'll be fine. Back in a bit. Really."
"Well, all right then, but be careful." Giles, Xander, Willow and Dawn watched as she waved and headed for the cemetary. William looked at the group, then turned to watch Buffy as well.
"Is the convenience store in a bad area or something? You all look so worried."
"Hmmm? Oh, no. I just thought perhaps she'd like to get inside, unpack, you know, that sort of thing, before she--" Xander handed another package from the van to Giles to interrupt him before he unintentionally revealed something that none of them felt William was prepared to know.
Giles looked down and rolled his eyes, completely distracted. "Dawn, is this yours? What do you think Buffy will say?"
Dawn ducked her head and retrieved the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign from the exasperated Watcher. "I just thought we should have it. I mean, there isn't really anyone else left that would appreciate it, is there? And it was just laying there, at the edge of the hole, under some rocks. I think it's the real one. The one Spike ran over. It's kind of a part of him, you know?" She looked up with tears in her eyes and Giles pulled her into a hug.
"Yes, you're probably right. No one else would appreciate it, would they? Just keep it out of Buffy's sight for awhile. I'm not sure she's ready for that just yet. All right?"
"OK. I'll go put it away, and then I'm headed for bed. I'm beat."
"I think we're all quite ready for some rest. It's been a very eventful couple of weeks."
Two hours later, Buffy sighed with relief as she slipped through the door. The house was dark and quiet. She put the milk and eggs into the refrigerator and headed for her room. She got undressed and ready for bed and slipped between the sheets. She reached out to touch Spike's face in the picture on her nightstand. *Good night, Spike. And goodbye. I'll always love you.*
D'Hoffryn smiled. "Not quite the man you hoped for, is he Slayer? A little dull, eh?" He chuckled to himself and sat back to watch.