Boromir finally stopped vibration after being stood on for the past 10 hours. He looked up.
"You're lying on Merry!" Pippin yelled. Boromir rolled over, and, sure enough, on the floor was Merry, who now resembled a pancake. A blur quick as an amoeba dashed across the room, grabbed the Merry pancake and immediately began eating it. Boromir realised the blur was in fact Gimli. Pippin screamed.
"Stop eating Merry!" he yelled. The cannibalistic dwarf ignored him. Pippin yanked out his trusty flaming prawn and threw it at the dwarf, whose beard caught alight. He took one look at it and ate it. Boromir was so disgusted that he burped. Gimli's ear pricked up at the sound. He smiled evilly.
"Eeep!' Boromir searched desperately around the room for someone sane to save him.
On the other side of the room, Aragorn was rocking back and forth, whispering to himself. Legolas was attempting to use a tampon. Gimli was eating the remains of Merry. Frodo was attempting to hang himself, whilst Sam was knitting him a scarf to "keep you toes warm while you're hanging there". And Pippin was-
Pippin was burning down the room.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Boromir screamed. Pippin laughed manically. Boromir attempted to put out the fire, but to no avail. The fire quickly spread. Boromir soon found himself on the ground, gasping for air.