Note: Sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been both very busy and very sick... :( This isn't a very long chapter, but I *had* to end it where it does. Be patient, I hope to put chapter 5 up soon! :)
*****
It was dark in the apartment when Jack woke up. The pounding in his head was still painful but not unbearable like last night, and the nauseous feeling was now merely a vague twirl inside his stomach. He realized his was not sitting on the couch, but lying on his back on a bed, covered up to his waist by a blanket and seemed to be only wearing his boxers…
Then he felt something else, something warm resting against his body. After a moment, he realized it was Eric. He felt Eric's arms wrapped around him and his soft breath against his bare neck, and the smooth movement of his chest going up and down against Jack's shoulder. Strangely enough, it seemed very natural.
By impulse, but though as careful as he could, Jack lifted his own arms over Eric and pulled him even closer. Eric moaned in his sleep for a moment. Jack tensed. He didn't wake up.
The sensation of Eric's warm, fairly muscled body touching his - full-length, only separated by a thin layer of cotton – caused another series of spins inside his stomach, but this time, it wasn't the wine…
That's when Jack remembered what he had been working up courage for the other night. He had planned on *telling* Eric – tell him something that would turn both their lives upside down. And that something needed some twenty glasses of courage – because he had been so afraid to tell.
He was afraid of being rejected, of Eric's disgust, or a huge fight with things being said that couldn't be taken back afterwards. He was scared of loosing his brother in crime, his best friend and confidant, because of something that went deeper than that. He was afraid that when he told Eric how he really felt, how he had felt for so long now, that he would loose everything they had build up over the past years.
But he certainly hadn't expected something like this to happen - himself lying in the arms of the man he wanted more than anything in the world, holding onto him so tight. Jack didn't ever want to let him go again. This felt so good. It couldn't be wrong… Right?
But… what if Eric just happened to have fallen asleep in the same bed? Maybe he had been so tired from staying awake all night, getting himself all worked up over his wasted bud and then finally dragging him over to the bedroom, that he had just collapsed on top of him. Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe he should be even more afraid now – because what if this was the right explanation and Eric woke up, with Jack embracing him like this, feeling utterly disgusted of him?
Eric, blissfully unaware of Jack's mixed up feelings, started to move and yawn next to him. Jack quickly pulled back his arms and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He forced his aroused breathing to calm down, as he heard how Eric sat upright in the bed.
"Jack? Are you awake?"
Jack kept quiet. His heart was beating so loudly that he believed even the neighbors could hear it, but Eric didn't seem to notice. He felt a warm hand touching his shoulder.
"Jack, buddy? I know it's a Saturday, but its four P.M. already – how about some breakfast, huh?" Eric yawned again. Jack felt how Eric bent over him and stretched out one arm.
"Hmmm…" Jack tried to moan as sleepy and disinterested as he could, while his heart was racing and more words got stuck in his throat. He felt how something of his started to move underneath the blanket, and he desperately tried to suppress it. Bad, bad timing!
He carefully peeked through his eyelids, but couldn't see a thing, as it was still dark in the room. Then, a burst of light lit up the room and Eric moved back to the other side of the bed. Jack closed his eyes and let out an inaudible sigh of disappointment and relief at the same time, while Eric jumped out of bed - cheerful as ever.
"C'mon Jack, wakey-wakey!" Jack still moaned for a bit and stayed put.
"Aah, I get it – you're still dreaming 'bout little Ms. Garbage Can, aren't you?" Eric grinned. "Well, when you're finished with the luuuv-making, come join me, okay?" Jack heard how Eric put on his jeans and left the bedroom.
He took a few trembling breaths and tried very hard not to think of Eric's body next to his just a few minutes ago. It was a mistake. It must have been. It would be too much of a coincidence if Eric felt the same way for him. It couldn't be. No.
And so, Jack got up as well and put on a clean pair of jeans, feeling even more miserable than he did last night.
*****
*****
It was dark in the apartment when Jack woke up. The pounding in his head was still painful but not unbearable like last night, and the nauseous feeling was now merely a vague twirl inside his stomach. He realized his was not sitting on the couch, but lying on his back on a bed, covered up to his waist by a blanket and seemed to be only wearing his boxers…
Then he felt something else, something warm resting against his body. After a moment, he realized it was Eric. He felt Eric's arms wrapped around him and his soft breath against his bare neck, and the smooth movement of his chest going up and down against Jack's shoulder. Strangely enough, it seemed very natural.
By impulse, but though as careful as he could, Jack lifted his own arms over Eric and pulled him even closer. Eric moaned in his sleep for a moment. Jack tensed. He didn't wake up.
The sensation of Eric's warm, fairly muscled body touching his - full-length, only separated by a thin layer of cotton – caused another series of spins inside his stomach, but this time, it wasn't the wine…
That's when Jack remembered what he had been working up courage for the other night. He had planned on *telling* Eric – tell him something that would turn both their lives upside down. And that something needed some twenty glasses of courage – because he had been so afraid to tell.
He was afraid of being rejected, of Eric's disgust, or a huge fight with things being said that couldn't be taken back afterwards. He was scared of loosing his brother in crime, his best friend and confidant, because of something that went deeper than that. He was afraid that when he told Eric how he really felt, how he had felt for so long now, that he would loose everything they had build up over the past years.
But he certainly hadn't expected something like this to happen - himself lying in the arms of the man he wanted more than anything in the world, holding onto him so tight. Jack didn't ever want to let him go again. This felt so good. It couldn't be wrong… Right?
But… what if Eric just happened to have fallen asleep in the same bed? Maybe he had been so tired from staying awake all night, getting himself all worked up over his wasted bud and then finally dragging him over to the bedroom, that he had just collapsed on top of him. Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe he should be even more afraid now – because what if this was the right explanation and Eric woke up, with Jack embracing him like this, feeling utterly disgusted of him?
Eric, blissfully unaware of Jack's mixed up feelings, started to move and yawn next to him. Jack quickly pulled back his arms and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. He forced his aroused breathing to calm down, as he heard how Eric sat upright in the bed.
"Jack? Are you awake?"
Jack kept quiet. His heart was beating so loudly that he believed even the neighbors could hear it, but Eric didn't seem to notice. He felt a warm hand touching his shoulder.
"Jack, buddy? I know it's a Saturday, but its four P.M. already – how about some breakfast, huh?" Eric yawned again. Jack felt how Eric bent over him and stretched out one arm.
"Hmmm…" Jack tried to moan as sleepy and disinterested as he could, while his heart was racing and more words got stuck in his throat. He felt how something of his started to move underneath the blanket, and he desperately tried to suppress it. Bad, bad timing!
He carefully peeked through his eyelids, but couldn't see a thing, as it was still dark in the room. Then, a burst of light lit up the room and Eric moved back to the other side of the bed. Jack closed his eyes and let out an inaudible sigh of disappointment and relief at the same time, while Eric jumped out of bed - cheerful as ever.
"C'mon Jack, wakey-wakey!" Jack still moaned for a bit and stayed put.
"Aah, I get it – you're still dreaming 'bout little Ms. Garbage Can, aren't you?" Eric grinned. "Well, when you're finished with the luuuv-making, come join me, okay?" Jack heard how Eric put on his jeans and left the bedroom.
He took a few trembling breaths and tried very hard not to think of Eric's body next to his just a few minutes ago. It was a mistake. It must have been. It would be too much of a coincidence if Eric felt the same way for him. It couldn't be. No.
And so, Jack got up as well and put on a clean pair of jeans, feeling even more miserable than he did last night.
*****