Author: Daryn Maxwell
Chapter: 02: At the Beginning
Date Started: 22 Dec. 2003
Date Completed: 07 Jan. 2004
Disclaimer: Shinseiki (Neon Genesis) Evangelion and all of its characters are property of Gainax. The lyrics and chapter title are from Richard Marx's and Donna Lewis' "At the Beginning", also the ending theme song to FOX's "Anastasia".
A/N: All right, I have a vague storyboard for this story now. As is, it's looking to be eight chapters, but that can always change. As always, comments would be much appreciated!
/ No one told me /
/ I was going to find you /
/ Unexpected /
/ What you did to my heart /
/ When I lost hope /
/ You were there to remind me /
/ This is the start /
Shinji and Kaworu padded down the hall, the only sound being the echoes of their footsteps. For a while, they were silent, Shinji awkwardly shy and Kaworu still wearing a lazy, contented smile. When they turned a corner, the former, feeling obligated to speak and break the silence, blurted out, "Well!-- what sort of things are you interested in?"
You, Kaworu thought instantly with vague amusement at himself. You're the one I'm looking for, aren't you? I'm sure of it. Without missing a beat, he smoothly replied, "music, mostly. I enjoy music very much. It's the greatest gift humans can give each other, in my opinion-- an unspeakable offering and ever a true extention of oneself."
"Oh!" Smiling more easily, Shinji turned to look at him. "How poetic. I love music as well. Do you play an instrument?"
"Yes, the viola." Gazing over at Shinji warmly, Kaworu tilted his head. "Do you?"
"Cello," Shinji confirmed with a nod.
"Great! Do you think we could play together sometime...?"
Eyes widening slightly, Shinji averted his gaze, rubbing his neck again. "I-- I'm not very good..." he murmured. Of course, it was a lie; Shinji was one of the best musicians in the school, but he wasn't comfortable with the attention he sometimes received for the talent. Besides, he was somehow instinctively sure Kaworu would be far better. When a cool hand touched his, breaking through his curious musings, Shinji jumped slightly as he came to a stop. He stared in surprise as Kaworu inspected his hand for a moment before looking startlingly deeply into his sapphire eyes.
"You have a musician's hands."
"Th-th... thank you...?" Shinji stammered uncertainly. He tried to pull his hand away, but something inside stopped him-- possibly partially influenced by the observation that Kaworu still hadn't let go, and that the friendly boy was still smiling at him almost affectionately. After a moment, both dropped their hands, blushing. "Ah-- well..." Forcing himself to perk up slightly, Shinji pointed a few doors down to the right. "There's the music room, so if you want to look in there...?"
"I'd be delighted."
Lunch continued on in this manner. Amidst roaming the halls, ducking into classrooms, and chatting idly, Kaworu and Shinji found it surprisingly easy to open up to each other. It was no surprise, then, when they lost track of time. The two boys ran back into class moments before the bell could ring, signifying the end of lunch. Hikari gave them a stern warning look as they took their seats, breathing hard and stifling laughter.
Kaworu turned to face Shinji. "What class is next?" he asked curiously, eyes still shining from the half-panicked sprint through the school. Shinji grinned, briefly relieved that he seemed to have gotten some control over his blushing.
"Health-- with Mr. Kaji."
"The man who brought me in this morning?"
"Mm-hmm. Just a fair warning, though--" Kaworu glanced at him curiously, "-- he's almost never serious, so don't take anything to heart."
On the other side of Shinji, Kensuke leaned over, video camera fixed on the two. "Speaking of Mr. Kaji-- have you both heard the news? Miss Katsuragi and he got into a fight, and he was making fun of her, saying if she ditched him she'd probably just run to Ritsuko's bed or something. Miss Katsuragi got really red, but instead of yelling at him like usual, she ran. What do you think about that?"
"I think it's none of your business," Asuka snapped, sticking her face in front of the camera. She leaned over and turned off the power before Kensuke could snatch his beloved device away. "You're so nosy! It's none of your business what they do!"
The camera went on again as Kensuke turned his attention to her. "And this is the opinion of one Miss Souryuu Asuka Langley, who wants nothing more than the handsome and rugged Mr. Ryouji Kaji to--"
"TURN THAT OFF!"
Just as Asuka's screech came to a close, the door opened and Ryouji Kaji strutted towards the desk. "Good afternoon, everybody! I hope you're all very much alert after your delicious lunches, because today we'll be starting the human sexuality unit. And what better way to do this than begin with studying the history of sex? We'll begin with Freudian notions of the sexual stages of development-- phallic, oedipal and latency, which will lead straight into puberty. Then we'll discuss how these apply to our everyday lives, and finally, we'll end with a guest speaker on the psychological pattern of sexual abuse. The exam for this unit will be for all of you to pair up and teach a twenty minute lesson on sexual influence in today's adolescent society, such as pornographic internet spam or the Kama Sutra."
He was met by a startled silence. The second hand ticked by on the clock, and eventually, the minute hand shifted over a single unit. A few students tentatively opened their laptops to take notes while others shifted uncomfortably in their desks.
It was then that Kaji laughed.
"My God, you're all so tense! Misato must have beaten your brains-- I was only kidding. We'll continue working on the nutrition unit. Everybody, get out your food pyramids."
Dear Mom,
I was listening to your music box again today. I listen to it at the start of every school day. It helps me get through. I was watching the glass angel, and I wondered if you're really up in heaven, looking out for me. I wonder if you're my guardian angel now, or if you've left this crystal one to shelter my spirit. If that's the case, she's not doing her job.
But as I sat there wishing for an angel, a new student arrived. His name is Nagisa Kaworu-- and mother, I can't help but wonder if he has the soul of an angel. I've never had anyone be so kind to me, except for you and Rei. Even Rei keeps a distance now, but Kaworu-- it's as if he singled me out to be his friend. Within seconds of him sitting down beside me, he got me to smile. And he has such a sweet, sincere smile; it reminds me of you. It reminds me of Rei. It even reminds me of the glass angel, even though her smile is fixed and meaningless. His is that angel's delicate, perfect smile given human flesh and warmth.
He plays the viola. Kaworu, I mean. Besides Rei, I've never known someone my age who likes the same music I do, except for the exceptionally smart people who stick to their own clique. Kaworu is brilliant, too, but he's not like them. He doesn't try to sound like a genius, never throws in confusing words when he talks, never brags or brings anyone down. He's not trying too hard to be good, either; it's like being perfect is his instinct.
I only met him today, but it feels like I've known him all my life. I feel like I can trust him and tell him things I've never even told Rei or Asuka or Touji or Kensuke. He's really amazing, mother, someone special. And I'm so afraid of him deciding I'm not worth his time and rejecting me, even though I know he should and probably will.
I wonder what you would think of him? I really wish you could meet him, and he, you. I still don't entirely believe in heaven, so it scares me to wonder where you might be now. But Kaworu makes me want to believe in heaven, and angels, and a loving God watching over us.
I miss you.
Shinji