The moment disappeared as suddenly as it began. Jesse pulled away, leaving
Ana staring in shock. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." Jesse was saying, but Ana
barely heard him.
"What's wrong, Jesse?" she asked, touching his arm. He recoiled as if she had some contagious disease, not even looking at her.
He shook his head, still not meeting her eye. "I'm sorry." He got up, and began packing. "It's really dark now, and it's beginning to get real cold. Maybe we should get back to the house."
Ana sighed, knowing that she would never get a direct out of Jesse about this. "Yes, we should be getting back now," she agreed, and helped in packing up. Then they walked back in silence, Jesse holding the basket and Ana holding the lamp.
Jesse lay staring at the darkness in front of him, all alone in his room. Thoughts crowded his mind. What had made him do what he did? What madness had drove him to give Ana that kiss? That kiss wasn't meant for her, was it? No, it couldn't be for her. It was just that at that moment, when he looked at her, so soft and vulnerable, it just reminded him so much of Winnie. He had been in love with Winnie, and he still was in love with Winnie, as he always would be.
The day he saw her tombstone, he had sworn to himself that he would never forget her, that he would love her for always. He would never forget her like she did him. He would never betray her memory like she did to him. He would love her forever and ever, and he would never break that vow.
So that kiss couldn't have been meant for Ana, could it?
Ana buried herself under the blankets. She was tired, but no sleep would come to her. All she could think about was Jesse, and his strange behaviour. That kiss. it had been so beautiful, and there was something special in it, something wonderful. It felt as if she and Jesse had something incredible going, and then suddenly that moment was gone.
Why would Jesse want to apologise to her? Was he even apologising to her? At times she had thought that it didn't seem like he was talking to her at all. As if he was speaking to someone invisible, someone living in his head. Why would he feel the need to apologise? It made no sense to her. And she so desperately wanted things to make sense.
For so long she had felt lost in this world, having to go with the flow all the time, with no one noticing the struggle she felt. After her parents died, she had been so lonely, stranded in a world where no one cared. She had been waiting and searching for the love that she craved, but it had never come to her. And she had thought, during that kiss, that perhaps she didn't need to wait any longer.
A sob burst out of her. She couldn't stay with the Tucks any longer. She knew that now. It would be too uncomfortable, and she would never be able to look at Jesse again, knowing what had happened between them. She would have to leave, and soon this wonderful house in New Zealand would be nothing but a memory, a memory that would prick her heart the moment she began working with Miles again.
"What a mistake I made, coming to New Zealand," she whispered to herself.
"What's wrong, Jesse?" she asked, touching his arm. He recoiled as if she had some contagious disease, not even looking at her.
He shook his head, still not meeting her eye. "I'm sorry." He got up, and began packing. "It's really dark now, and it's beginning to get real cold. Maybe we should get back to the house."
Ana sighed, knowing that she would never get a direct out of Jesse about this. "Yes, we should be getting back now," she agreed, and helped in packing up. Then they walked back in silence, Jesse holding the basket and Ana holding the lamp.
Jesse lay staring at the darkness in front of him, all alone in his room. Thoughts crowded his mind. What had made him do what he did? What madness had drove him to give Ana that kiss? That kiss wasn't meant for her, was it? No, it couldn't be for her. It was just that at that moment, when he looked at her, so soft and vulnerable, it just reminded him so much of Winnie. He had been in love with Winnie, and he still was in love with Winnie, as he always would be.
The day he saw her tombstone, he had sworn to himself that he would never forget her, that he would love her for always. He would never forget her like she did him. He would never betray her memory like she did to him. He would love her forever and ever, and he would never break that vow.
So that kiss couldn't have been meant for Ana, could it?
Ana buried herself under the blankets. She was tired, but no sleep would come to her. All she could think about was Jesse, and his strange behaviour. That kiss. it had been so beautiful, and there was something special in it, something wonderful. It felt as if she and Jesse had something incredible going, and then suddenly that moment was gone.
Why would Jesse want to apologise to her? Was he even apologising to her? At times she had thought that it didn't seem like he was talking to her at all. As if he was speaking to someone invisible, someone living in his head. Why would he feel the need to apologise? It made no sense to her. And she so desperately wanted things to make sense.
For so long she had felt lost in this world, having to go with the flow all the time, with no one noticing the struggle she felt. After her parents died, she had been so lonely, stranded in a world where no one cared. She had been waiting and searching for the love that she craved, but it had never come to her. And she had thought, during that kiss, that perhaps she didn't need to wait any longer.
A sob burst out of her. She couldn't stay with the Tucks any longer. She knew that now. It would be too uncomfortable, and she would never be able to look at Jesse again, knowing what had happened between them. She would have to leave, and soon this wonderful house in New Zealand would be nothing but a memory, a memory that would prick her heart the moment she began working with Miles again.
"What a mistake I made, coming to New Zealand," she whispered to herself.