'Tis the Season
Spike paced back and forth across the living room floor, stopping once in awhile to glare at the bag of gifts on the couch. Things had been been so much easier as William -- or even as Spike back in Sunnydale, when he didn't have to worry about gifts and holidays.
He was confident that Willow would love the hand-tooled leather briefcase he had commissioned, and Xander would appreciate the antique plane he had found to add to the growing collection on the workshop wall. Dawn had always coveted his old duster, and now that he was comfortable in one again, he thought it would be fun to finally indulge her.
And then there was Buffy.
With the way she'd been avoiding him ever since Thanksgiving, he knew that the gift he wanted to give her would not be accepted. He sighed and opened the ring box to gaze into the depths of the diamond. It taunted him with its beauty -- just like Buffy. It reminded him of her too. So many facets, and she could be hard and cold. But when brought together in the light, the cold, hard facets magnified the fire within. For now, she was trying to hide that fire and he knew he couldn't force things or she would just retreat behind the walls again. He had to settle for what she was willing to give. At the moment, all she offered was friendship. So he would have to settle for that.
He snapped the box closed, strode to the desk, and placed it far in the back of the top drawer. There it would stay until she was ready. He picked up the simply wrapped box that contained his 'back-up' gift for Buffy -- a suitably impersonal cookbook collection he'd seen her eyeing a couple of weeks earlier, grabbed the bag off the couch and headed for the door.
***************************************************************
Dinner was over and the group sat surrounded by the rubble of opened gifts. As predicted, Willow and Xander had both enjoyed William's offerings, and Dawn was already wearing the duster, despite the roaring fire they'd built. Buffy had been hesitant about opening hers, but once she saw what it was, she surprised him with an exuberant hug.
The items he'd received in return had also been well chosen. Xander had made him a beautifully carved desk set. He had a private laugh at the initials - WTB. If only Xander knew, it fit him either way. William Townsend Blake as well as William The Bloody. And everyone had laughed when he opened the box from Willow. It had contained several white shirts and a gift certificate for dry cleaning. Buffy's gift was quite practical -- a soft, warm scarf.
He sat now with the large, flat box from Dawn on his lap. It was the last one unopened. Dawn was sitting across from him almost squirming in anticipation. Knowing her sense of humor, he paused to consider what might jump out at him, but decided she wouldn't dare to go too far with William. At last, he broke the ribbon and began ripping into the paper. He uncovered the back of a much-dented piece of metal, and suddenly he knew exactly what it was. He met her eyes as he turned it over, and without looking down said, "Thanks, Li'l Bit. You know, I didn't have time to pick up any souvenirs."
She smiled back and replied, "Yeah, I figured. Things were kind of hectic."
Buffy drew in a sharp breath when she saw the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign. "Where did you get that, Dawn? Is Willy selling them?"
"Um... no, Buff. That's the real one. Remember the one that fell over after -- um -- after?"
"You mean the one Spike used to run over every chance he got?" Xander asked, and he and Willow laughed. Buffy managed a tight smile, but Dawn and Spike were still looking into each others' eyes. He realized she knew and was touched and relieved that she was keeping the secret. He ran his fingers over the letters of Sunnydale and felt like he was drowning in memories. All the times he and Buffy had clashed. The night he lost her off the tower. The night she came back. All the times he had left, swearing never to return. But something kept drawing him back. Buffy.
Dawn grinned as the familiar nickname warmed her and glanced over to see if Buffy had noticed. Buffy's eyes were still on the sign. Something inside her wanted to snatch it from William's hands and run away with it. *Spike's. That should have been his. I should have taken it myself when we left. How dare she give it to him -- a stranger. He has no idea what it means.*
"Buff? You in there?" Xander asked again, a little louder this time.
She looked up, startled and confused, "Huh?"
"I said -- It seems kind of fitting that William should have the sign, huh? Seeing as how we met him back where Sunnydale used to be and all. Heck, we even thought he looked a little like Spike, at the time, huh, Dawnie?"
Spike turned a chuckle into a cough as Willow and Dawn exchanged a glance. Willow decided she'd better jump in before things got more awkward than they already were, "Wow! We all did great this year, huh? So, what's everybody doing for New Years'?"
The silence that fell was almost tangible, and Willow realized her mistake. Buffy suddenly found her feet fascinating. Spike gazed longingly at her for a moment and then caught himself and looked away. Dawn and Willow just cringed, and Xander was blissfully oblivious.
Spike stood up and stretched, "Well, I'm going to say my farewells. Thank you so much for including me in the festivities." He had a bit of a headache, as he always did these days after an extended time in Buffy's company. He had to force himself to remember to stick to William's speech patterns and manners, and it was becoming a strain.
"Aw! Already?" Dawn stood up too and stifled a yawn. "I guess it is getting late," she said sheepishly. "Thanks again for the coat. I've wanted one like this for years!"
He smiled fondly at her and pulled her into a hug. "You wear it well, Niblet," he whispered. She hugged him back so hard he was afraid she'd break a rib.
"I've missed you so much," she whispered back before releasing him. He bent to gather the gifts he'd received, and Buffy rose to walk him to the door. She opened the door and stepped out of the way so he could pass. He glanced wistfully at the mistletoe and forced himself to smile as he kissed Buffy on the cheek. He wanted to be sure she knew he got the message. Friends.
***************************************************************
Spike and Buffy spent New Year's Eve the same way. Each alone. Each longing for the other's company. Each in despair.
D'Hoffryn smiled. This was even better than he had hoped.
Spike paced back and forth across the living room floor, stopping once in awhile to glare at the bag of gifts on the couch. Things had been been so much easier as William -- or even as Spike back in Sunnydale, when he didn't have to worry about gifts and holidays.
He was confident that Willow would love the hand-tooled leather briefcase he had commissioned, and Xander would appreciate the antique plane he had found to add to the growing collection on the workshop wall. Dawn had always coveted his old duster, and now that he was comfortable in one again, he thought it would be fun to finally indulge her.
And then there was Buffy.
With the way she'd been avoiding him ever since Thanksgiving, he knew that the gift he wanted to give her would not be accepted. He sighed and opened the ring box to gaze into the depths of the diamond. It taunted him with its beauty -- just like Buffy. It reminded him of her too. So many facets, and she could be hard and cold. But when brought together in the light, the cold, hard facets magnified the fire within. For now, she was trying to hide that fire and he knew he couldn't force things or she would just retreat behind the walls again. He had to settle for what she was willing to give. At the moment, all she offered was friendship. So he would have to settle for that.
He snapped the box closed, strode to the desk, and placed it far in the back of the top drawer. There it would stay until she was ready. He picked up the simply wrapped box that contained his 'back-up' gift for Buffy -- a suitably impersonal cookbook collection he'd seen her eyeing a couple of weeks earlier, grabbed the bag off the couch and headed for the door.
***************************************************************
Dinner was over and the group sat surrounded by the rubble of opened gifts. As predicted, Willow and Xander had both enjoyed William's offerings, and Dawn was already wearing the duster, despite the roaring fire they'd built. Buffy had been hesitant about opening hers, but once she saw what it was, she surprised him with an exuberant hug.
The items he'd received in return had also been well chosen. Xander had made him a beautifully carved desk set. He had a private laugh at the initials - WTB. If only Xander knew, it fit him either way. William Townsend Blake as well as William The Bloody. And everyone had laughed when he opened the box from Willow. It had contained several white shirts and a gift certificate for dry cleaning. Buffy's gift was quite practical -- a soft, warm scarf.
He sat now with the large, flat box from Dawn on his lap. It was the last one unopened. Dawn was sitting across from him almost squirming in anticipation. Knowing her sense of humor, he paused to consider what might jump out at him, but decided she wouldn't dare to go too far with William. At last, he broke the ribbon and began ripping into the paper. He uncovered the back of a much-dented piece of metal, and suddenly he knew exactly what it was. He met her eyes as he turned it over, and without looking down said, "Thanks, Li'l Bit. You know, I didn't have time to pick up any souvenirs."
She smiled back and replied, "Yeah, I figured. Things were kind of hectic."
Buffy drew in a sharp breath when she saw the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign. "Where did you get that, Dawn? Is Willy selling them?"
"Um... no, Buff. That's the real one. Remember the one that fell over after -- um -- after?"
"You mean the one Spike used to run over every chance he got?" Xander asked, and he and Willow laughed. Buffy managed a tight smile, but Dawn and Spike were still looking into each others' eyes. He realized she knew and was touched and relieved that she was keeping the secret. He ran his fingers over the letters of Sunnydale and felt like he was drowning in memories. All the times he and Buffy had clashed. The night he lost her off the tower. The night she came back. All the times he had left, swearing never to return. But something kept drawing him back. Buffy.
Dawn grinned as the familiar nickname warmed her and glanced over to see if Buffy had noticed. Buffy's eyes were still on the sign. Something inside her wanted to snatch it from William's hands and run away with it. *Spike's. That should have been his. I should have taken it myself when we left. How dare she give it to him -- a stranger. He has no idea what it means.*
"Buff? You in there?" Xander asked again, a little louder this time.
She looked up, startled and confused, "Huh?"
"I said -- It seems kind of fitting that William should have the sign, huh? Seeing as how we met him back where Sunnydale used to be and all. Heck, we even thought he looked a little like Spike, at the time, huh, Dawnie?"
Spike turned a chuckle into a cough as Willow and Dawn exchanged a glance. Willow decided she'd better jump in before things got more awkward than they already were, "Wow! We all did great this year, huh? So, what's everybody doing for New Years'?"
The silence that fell was almost tangible, and Willow realized her mistake. Buffy suddenly found her feet fascinating. Spike gazed longingly at her for a moment and then caught himself and looked away. Dawn and Willow just cringed, and Xander was blissfully oblivious.
Spike stood up and stretched, "Well, I'm going to say my farewells. Thank you so much for including me in the festivities." He had a bit of a headache, as he always did these days after an extended time in Buffy's company. He had to force himself to remember to stick to William's speech patterns and manners, and it was becoming a strain.
"Aw! Already?" Dawn stood up too and stifled a yawn. "I guess it is getting late," she said sheepishly. "Thanks again for the coat. I've wanted one like this for years!"
He smiled fondly at her and pulled her into a hug. "You wear it well, Niblet," he whispered. She hugged him back so hard he was afraid she'd break a rib.
"I've missed you so much," she whispered back before releasing him. He bent to gather the gifts he'd received, and Buffy rose to walk him to the door. She opened the door and stepped out of the way so he could pass. He glanced wistfully at the mistletoe and forced himself to smile as he kissed Buffy on the cheek. He wanted to be sure she knew he got the message. Friends.
***************************************************************
Spike and Buffy spent New Year's Eve the same way. Each alone. Each longing for the other's company. Each in despair.
D'Hoffryn smiled. This was even better than he had hoped.