The Dream that You Chased

A/N: Disclaimer is in the first chapter. Thanks to the reviewers, you've made my day – hopefully this makes yours.

~*~

~* By the time we realised

That something was precious, it was too late

The feelings that pass us by are always too dazzling *~

~*~

Chapter One: The Real Reason

Tokyo, three years later

He'd never been to Tokyo before. Okay, maybe once. He'd been all of four years old – this was before his parents had split up. He didn't remember much of his time in Tokyo, just a whole lot of bright lights, people, a stuffy hotel room, his parents arguing and the baby crying. His first ever visit to Tokyo hadn't been the stuff of pleasant memories.

Then again, that wasn't unexpected.

Despite the low hanging grey clouds that congregated in the sky, he slipped his sunglasses on. He didn't want to be recognised today, and more often than not his blue eyes were a dead giveaway. To finish off his "disguise" he put on a baseball cap, flattening down his blonde hair. It needed a cut pretty badly; the long strands tickled the back of his neck.

The band had really taken off in the last few years. Their first single had been a success and the follow up album had gone platinum. He and his bandmates were now legitimate rock stars. Whatever that meant.

He was now deep enough into the industry to realise that it wasn't all smooth sailing. There were people who couldn't wait to cut you down and even more people in the wings just waiting for a chance to steal your place. It was fickle; less about the music and more about the money.

The hotel lobby was crowded. People checking in, people checking out and people who just…existed. For a moment he wondered if he'd been stupid to convince security that he could manage on his own for the day. He wrote the thought off as quickly as it appeared. People didn't know he was in town yet – the concert wasn't till next week – and anyway, even if they suspected he was in town they wouldn't think that he'd actually hit the town without security to cover him.

It was all about doing the unexpected.

He fished around in his jacket pocket for his packet of cigarettes and his lighter. The automatic doors swished open for him and he stepped out onto the sidewalk.

So, this was Tokyo.

It was still crowded, but he supposed it was a good kind of crowded. He inhaled on his cigarette. It was the kind of crowded that you could get lost in. Everyone was so caught up in doing their own thing that they wouldn't even notice him. It was the kind of crowded that he liked.

Maybe he should have taken his agent's advice and moved here last year. In a place like this, even the most dedicated fangirl would have trouble finding him.

He exhaled a cloud of smoke. Who was he kidding? He knew that even if he bought a place here, he'd never get around to packing all his things and moving out of Odaiba. Crazy as it was, he liked Odaiba. His friends were there, what family he had was there.

He also knew that that wasn't the real reason why he'd never move.

The real reason was personified in a woman. A woman he hadn't seen for three years. He studied the crowd with hidden blue eyes. The woman who had gone without a trace, taking his heart with her. He'd done everything within his power to find her; money became less of a problem once the album profits came in. But by then the trail – what trail there had been – had gone cold.

So he remained in Odaiba hoping that maybe one day she would come back. That maybe she'd contact one of their friends, if not him.

A nameless face in the crowd brushed past him in a hurry, knocking at his arm and wrenching his cigarette from his lips. He smiled, watching the glowing ember fall noiselessly to be crushed under hurrying feet.

It was always good to go unnoticed.

~*~

It had gotten dark without him noticing. He took the sunglasses off, sliding them into his jacket pocket. At this time of night they'd only make him stand out in the crowd – after a day of relative obscurity that was the last thing he wanted to do.

The lights of Tokyo were dazzling to be sure. Flickering billboards, huge television screens. He winced when his own face appeared; magnified several times so it would fill up the screen; fingers gripping the microphone, damp blonde hair hanging in his eyes. Cut to a shot of Rei, going wild on the guitar, his fingers moving so fast it was hard to see what he was doing. The screaming fans, pushing at the blockade while security tried to hold them back. Tetsuo, behind the drums, making faces at the camera, his crazily spiked hair tipped with a neon red. Finally, Kaoru, moving to the beat of the music even as he concentrated on playing the keyboard, he flashed a lopsided smile at the camera – the same smile that made all the girls go wild.

 "The Teen-age Wolves in Concert", the advertisement screamed to Tokyo, following the words were the dates and venues where they would be playing. Then, "Limited seats! Book yours today!"

It was definitely cringe worthy material. Especially when he noticed the number of girls who had stopped to view the advertisement. From where he stood he could hear fragments of their conversation.

"Oooh! I bought my ticket today! I can't wait for the concert!"

"My friend won two tickets on a radio station contest!"

"Did you see the way Kaoru looked? He's so hot!"

"What? Kaoru? No way, Yamato's way hotter than he is!"

Now was definitely time to be leaving. He felt naked without his sunglasses. His blonde hair could at least be explained away, there were plenty of people who bleached their hair these days. But blue eyes? They were harder to explain away.

Rei had even gone so far as to suggest that he get coloured contacts. It wasn't such a bad idea, but he just couldn't stomach the thought of having to put something in his eye. Besides, the sunglasses worked during the day, and when it was dark it was harder for someone to get a good look at his eyes anyway. It just limited the number of places he could be without security at night.

He ducked his head and kept walking, past the schoolgirls, past the brightly lit shops. He had no destination in mind, but he definitely didn't want to go back to the hotel just yet. The lone wolf in him was enjoying the solitude; he didn't get enough of it lately.

He lit another cigarette. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. He didn't remember when he'd started smoking. Probably around the time she'd left Odaiba. It seemed like everything came back to her. What had started out as a stress relief was now an addiction. He dropped the glowing butt, grinding it beneath his shoe. They liked it when rock stars had a vice. Nothing too bad, but something that made them human.

It was then that he paused and took stock of his surroundings.

A man in a darkened corner, his shoulders hunched low. He rocked back and forth slightly, his trench coat shifting, revealing a glimpse of metal. Neon signs flickering weakly, casting a garish light on the street. Two men, obviously drunk, slumped against a shop front. A tall, thin young woman, dressed in nothing more than a leather mini-skirt, fishnet stockings, a short, red tube top and a denim jacket. She smiled seductively at the passers-by.

Signs advertising geishas. Masseurs. Strip clubs.

He was in Tokyo's red light district.

~*~

A/N: That wasn't confusing, was it? I promise, Sora will come into the story pretty soon. I just needed a chance to establish Yama's character and how (semi?) cynical he is right now etc. So again, please comment, it will be very much welcome. I'm quite surprised I got this out so fast. Go me. So maybe I should go study for my exam tomorrow now….

© Abi

2003-06-25