Authors Note- Well everyone seemed pretty shaken up by the last chapter, it was one that tugged on the heart strings, well as a treat for the night I haev decided to post another chapter full of, angst, love, and mild sexual tension all rolled into one. I hope it lives up to your standards. There will be more sexual tension as the story progresses, over the next couple chapters, every chapter has sexual tension so enjoy:)!
Five fucking years. He didn't want anything to do with his son for five fucking years. Even when we were living with him he rarely spent time with Bryce. Now all of the sudden out of hate for me and wanting to make his whore happy he disturbs our lives. What a dick. I get up from my spot on the EL train and make my way towards the hospital. I have been working a lot lately, and when I'm not working I am sleeping, or looking at pictures of Bryce. I haven't seen Carter since Richard came to pick Bryce up. He left about five hours later, he leant me a shoulder to cry on, but I just haven't wanted to seen anyone lately. I guess I am scared of loosing someone else. He tried at first to come and see me, or talk to me on the phone, but I brushed him off. I want to be with him...He's just going to have to give me some time to let me get used to the new arrangement. I haven't had many shifts with him, Bryce has been gone a week and in that span of time I've had about one shift with Carter, it wasn't even a full shift about three hours together. I do not know if he has given up hope or what, god I hope he hasn't. I just don't know how to tell him that. I walk into the ER the warm air hitting me. "Abby- good you're here a trauma is on its way in." Luka says walking past me.
"ETA?" I shout after him.
"Five minutes." I nod and rush into the lounge discarding my coat. I avoid looking at the pictures in my locker, I just can't deal with it today. I hear a yawn, I look over to see Alex sprawled out on the couch watching me. I smile pleasantly at him. He waves, and forces a smile. "How you doing kiddo?" I say brushing his hair out of his eyes. Alex does not have that many friends and he and Bryce seemed to form an inseparable bond the few months they knew each other. "Meh." Is all he can manage. I smile sadly at him. Richard won't let Bryce hang out with, or talk to his friends. Only on the weekend after all his chores and homework is done. Even then he has to be home by six. "Abby, Trauma now." Sam hollers into the lounge. I nod, waving at Alex and rush out the ambulance bay. The ambulance hasn't pulled in yet, but Carter is standing out there waiting. I thought this one was with Luka? "Where's Luka?" I ask a running by Sam.
"In with the first trauma." She says back. I take deep breath and walk towards Carter. I stand beside him looking straight ahead, he glances down at me and smiles. I smile back. "How've you been?" he says looking around the hospital for the ambulance, we are both uncomfortable. "Uh- okay. I guess." I respond, not looking at him.
"What are you doing tonight?" He asks kicking at the snow. I shake my head, and gulp. "Nothing." He looks down at me and we finally make eye contact.
"Maybe we should talk." He offers.
"Yeah, why don't you come over after my shift." I say as the ambulance pulls in.
"Okay."
* * * * *
We walk into my apartment, what a hellish shift that was. He plops down on the couch, after looking at me for my approval. I walk over to the answering machine seeing that I have three new messages. "Hey Abby, its your brother- Eric. Uh- sorry I didn't get a chance to call you back until now. You left a message about Bryce. Give me a call." I hit the delete buton and the next one plays. "Hey Abby this is Susan... I haven't talked to you in awhile, you've been pretty withdrawn lately, for obvious reasons. I was wondering if you wanted to talk, maybe Sam, Chen, you and I could do a girls night. Call me back." I delete that message, walking over to the couch I sit next to Carter waiting for the next one to play he looks at me smiling shyly. "Hey Mom. Sorry I haven't gotten a chance to call you lately but Richard and his whore have been keeping a close eye on me." Good language Bryce, I guess I do not set that great of an example with me calling her a whore and all. "Uh- anyways, I really miss you. Its been so weird and he wants to transfer me out of my school to the one closer to him, lucky for me Alex goes to that school, but still I don't want to leave my school." He sighs and I can tell he's getting upset which upsets me, Carter notices rubbing my arm tenderly. "I will email you, tell Alex I say hi and tell Carter hi, I hope things are cool still between you two, just remember please no sex in my bed." He laughs, "Love you mom." I smile at his comment as does Carter.
"I miss those comments." I whisper.
"I know me too." He pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead. I love being comforted and held by him, I am just to vulnerable to trust it right now. I pull away getting up to go to my room. He follows me. "Abby-"
"I know John." I say turning around to face him.
"I just can't, not right now." I feel the tears coming. God don't let me cry. Not again. All I've done for the last week is cry, I just can't cry anymore.
"Abby-" He starts again but I put up my hand to stop him.
"John-" I try to continue but he won't have any of it.
"I know that you are in so much pain right now. Pain I can't even imagine. I know Bryce is not my son and I have only known him for about three months but I care about him more then you could ever know. I care about you too. So much. I just I can't stand seeing you like this. I want to be there for you, but I can't if you keep pushing me away." He seems so hurt, so desperate. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. He sighs and kisses my head. I start to cry. "Hey, hey its going to be okay." he rubs my back, I needed this, someone to just hold me. Sometimes though I push people away instead of letting them in. "Promise you won't hurt me." I look up at him.
"Never baby." He plants a soft kiss on my lips.
"So you won't like run off to Africa get some chick pregnant and forget all about Bryce and me." He laughs at this.
"Where do you come up with these things." I join in on the laughter. God it feels good to laugh again. "Never baby." He plants a soft kiss on my lips.
"So you won't like run off to Africa get some chick pregnant and forget all about Bryce and me." He laughs at this.
"Where do you come up with these things." I join in on the laughter. God it feels good to laugh again. We lie down on my bed and he turns the television on, "You know... I've missed you." He says pulling me in closer. I smile up at him. He kisses me, soft at first them our kiss deepens, after all that's gone on this is nice. Its pretty comforting. His hand start to roam and I am pretty sure we are going to... The phone, the fucking phone rings. He reaches over groaning and grabs it off my bedside table. "Hello?" He says, then sits up immediately. A smile playing across his lips. "Hey kid how's it going." Ah, its my son. Screw sex I want my son. No pun intended. Carter nods for a bit and smiles. "Well here's your mom." He says handing the phone over to me and pulling me into his lap.
"Hey baby." I smile.
"Hey mom." He says, he also seems to be smiling.
"Richard is a dick, which is interesting because that is a short form for his name."
"What's he doing?" I hesitate to ask this question, because although I love my son if he tells me something horrible I am not sure I will be able to doing again with out worrying about my son, well that's not much different from now. "He has me on like house arrest. He's so strict. He hates you. He hates Carter more though, he says that Carter is not my father and it was wrong of you to try to replace Richard with Carter, all the while Richard is trying to get me to call his whore mom." This breaks my heart, but I am glad that Bryce is not letting them get away with any of this. "How's school?" I ask trying to change the subject. "Same old." He brushes that one off. This has me worried, as soon as I get my son to do his work and he finally has a guy in his life that he adores Richard has to go and do something like this. "They are letting you call me?" I ask letting him get away with that for the time being. "Yeah, I asked in the middle of a fight." He sighs. I then hear Richard barging into his room telling him to get the hell off the phone. "In a minute." Bryce retorts. "NOW!" I hear Richard holler. I wince at this, I hate hearing my son being yelled at. I try not to yell at him, from time to time I can be short with him though. "I SAID IN A MINUTE!" He screeches back.
"Bryce, baby go." I say afraid that Richard will do something to my son.
"Okay, I love you. Tell Carter I love him to." With that I reluctantly hang the phone up. I look at Carter who had been watching television. "He's okay." He reassures.
"Thanks." I lean my head back, we start to kiss again, slowly the television gets turned off and the kissing gets a little more intense. I love this, I have felt so lost since has been gone and now Carter comes over and emotionally and physically makes me feel better and brings up my spirits. I pull Carter closer to me, and under the covers we go. I can feel my bra being un-hooked...
Five fucking years. He didn't want anything to do with his son for five fucking years. Even when we were living with him he rarely spent time with Bryce. Now all of the sudden out of hate for me and wanting to make his whore happy he disturbs our lives. What a dick. I get up from my spot on the EL train and make my way towards the hospital. I have been working a lot lately, and when I'm not working I am sleeping, or looking at pictures of Bryce. I haven't seen Carter since Richard came to pick Bryce up. He left about five hours later, he leant me a shoulder to cry on, but I just haven't wanted to seen anyone lately. I guess I am scared of loosing someone else. He tried at first to come and see me, or talk to me on the phone, but I brushed him off. I want to be with him...He's just going to have to give me some time to let me get used to the new arrangement. I haven't had many shifts with him, Bryce has been gone a week and in that span of time I've had about one shift with Carter, it wasn't even a full shift about three hours together. I do not know if he has given up hope or what, god I hope he hasn't. I just don't know how to tell him that. I walk into the ER the warm air hitting me. "Abby- good you're here a trauma is on its way in." Luka says walking past me.
"ETA?" I shout after him.
"Five minutes." I nod and rush into the lounge discarding my coat. I avoid looking at the pictures in my locker, I just can't deal with it today. I hear a yawn, I look over to see Alex sprawled out on the couch watching me. I smile pleasantly at him. He waves, and forces a smile. "How you doing kiddo?" I say brushing his hair out of his eyes. Alex does not have that many friends and he and Bryce seemed to form an inseparable bond the few months they knew each other. "Meh." Is all he can manage. I smile sadly at him. Richard won't let Bryce hang out with, or talk to his friends. Only on the weekend after all his chores and homework is done. Even then he has to be home by six. "Abby, Trauma now." Sam hollers into the lounge. I nod, waving at Alex and rush out the ambulance bay. The ambulance hasn't pulled in yet, but Carter is standing out there waiting. I thought this one was with Luka? "Where's Luka?" I ask a running by Sam.
"In with the first trauma." She says back. I take deep breath and walk towards Carter. I stand beside him looking straight ahead, he glances down at me and smiles. I smile back. "How've you been?" he says looking around the hospital for the ambulance, we are both uncomfortable. "Uh- okay. I guess." I respond, not looking at him.
"What are you doing tonight?" He asks kicking at the snow. I shake my head, and gulp. "Nothing." He looks down at me and we finally make eye contact.
"Maybe we should talk." He offers.
"Yeah, why don't you come over after my shift." I say as the ambulance pulls in.
"Okay."
* * * * *
We walk into my apartment, what a hellish shift that was. He plops down on the couch, after looking at me for my approval. I walk over to the answering machine seeing that I have three new messages. "Hey Abby, its your brother- Eric. Uh- sorry I didn't get a chance to call you back until now. You left a message about Bryce. Give me a call." I hit the delete buton and the next one plays. "Hey Abby this is Susan... I haven't talked to you in awhile, you've been pretty withdrawn lately, for obvious reasons. I was wondering if you wanted to talk, maybe Sam, Chen, you and I could do a girls night. Call me back." I delete that message, walking over to the couch I sit next to Carter waiting for the next one to play he looks at me smiling shyly. "Hey Mom. Sorry I haven't gotten a chance to call you lately but Richard and his whore have been keeping a close eye on me." Good language Bryce, I guess I do not set that great of an example with me calling her a whore and all. "Uh- anyways, I really miss you. Its been so weird and he wants to transfer me out of my school to the one closer to him, lucky for me Alex goes to that school, but still I don't want to leave my school." He sighs and I can tell he's getting upset which upsets me, Carter notices rubbing my arm tenderly. "I will email you, tell Alex I say hi and tell Carter hi, I hope things are cool still between you two, just remember please no sex in my bed." He laughs, "Love you mom." I smile at his comment as does Carter.
"I miss those comments." I whisper.
"I know me too." He pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead. I love being comforted and held by him, I am just to vulnerable to trust it right now. I pull away getting up to go to my room. He follows me. "Abby-"
"I know John." I say turning around to face him.
"I just can't, not right now." I feel the tears coming. God don't let me cry. Not again. All I've done for the last week is cry, I just can't cry anymore.
"Abby-" He starts again but I put up my hand to stop him.
"John-" I try to continue but he won't have any of it.
"I know that you are in so much pain right now. Pain I can't even imagine. I know Bryce is not my son and I have only known him for about three months but I care about him more then you could ever know. I care about you too. So much. I just I can't stand seeing you like this. I want to be there for you, but I can't if you keep pushing me away." He seems so hurt, so desperate. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. He sighs and kisses my head. I start to cry. "Hey, hey its going to be okay." he rubs my back, I needed this, someone to just hold me. Sometimes though I push people away instead of letting them in. "Promise you won't hurt me." I look up at him.
"Never baby." He plants a soft kiss on my lips.
"So you won't like run off to Africa get some chick pregnant and forget all about Bryce and me." He laughs at this.
"Where do you come up with these things." I join in on the laughter. God it feels good to laugh again. "Never baby." He plants a soft kiss on my lips.
"So you won't like run off to Africa get some chick pregnant and forget all about Bryce and me." He laughs at this.
"Where do you come up with these things." I join in on the laughter. God it feels good to laugh again. We lie down on my bed and he turns the television on, "You know... I've missed you." He says pulling me in closer. I smile up at him. He kisses me, soft at first them our kiss deepens, after all that's gone on this is nice. Its pretty comforting. His hand start to roam and I am pretty sure we are going to... The phone, the fucking phone rings. He reaches over groaning and grabs it off my bedside table. "Hello?" He says, then sits up immediately. A smile playing across his lips. "Hey kid how's it going." Ah, its my son. Screw sex I want my son. No pun intended. Carter nods for a bit and smiles. "Well here's your mom." He says handing the phone over to me and pulling me into his lap.
"Hey baby." I smile.
"Hey mom." He says, he also seems to be smiling.
"Richard is a dick, which is interesting because that is a short form for his name."
"What's he doing?" I hesitate to ask this question, because although I love my son if he tells me something horrible I am not sure I will be able to doing again with out worrying about my son, well that's not much different from now. "He has me on like house arrest. He's so strict. He hates you. He hates Carter more though, he says that Carter is not my father and it was wrong of you to try to replace Richard with Carter, all the while Richard is trying to get me to call his whore mom." This breaks my heart, but I am glad that Bryce is not letting them get away with any of this. "How's school?" I ask trying to change the subject. "Same old." He brushes that one off. This has me worried, as soon as I get my son to do his work and he finally has a guy in his life that he adores Richard has to go and do something like this. "They are letting you call me?" I ask letting him get away with that for the time being. "Yeah, I asked in the middle of a fight." He sighs. I then hear Richard barging into his room telling him to get the hell off the phone. "In a minute." Bryce retorts. "NOW!" I hear Richard holler. I wince at this, I hate hearing my son being yelled at. I try not to yell at him, from time to time I can be short with him though. "I SAID IN A MINUTE!" He screeches back.
"Bryce, baby go." I say afraid that Richard will do something to my son.
"Okay, I love you. Tell Carter I love him to." With that I reluctantly hang the phone up. I look at Carter who had been watching television. "He's okay." He reassures.
"Thanks." I lean my head back, we start to kiss again, slowly the television gets turned off and the kissing gets a little more intense. I love this, I have felt so lost since has been gone and now Carter comes over and emotionally and physically makes me feel better and brings up my spirits. I pull Carter closer to me, and under the covers we go. I can feel my bra being un-hooked...