Ana groaned when the alarm clock rang. She reached over and switched it
off, then buried her head in her pillow. She wasn't sleepy at all,
actually, even though she had barely slept at night. And the problem wasn't
just jet lag.
She had spent the flight home trying to convince herself that she wasn't making a mistake. Sadly, she hadn't been very convincing, and had spent her first day home moping around the house, denying that she was moping while she was at it. Needless to say, Ana was in a very bad mood indeed.
After awhile she began to feel stifled by her pillow. She considered just staying there until she suffocated, then remembered that it was ridiculous, and so she sat up reluctantly. She leaned against the wall, staring at nothing. Her heart was still in New Zealand, and she didn't know if she'd ever get it back again. And ever was a long time.
Feeling restless, she got out of her bed and left her room. She had been hanging around her room for too long, and the air in there was starting to make her feel sick. She stood outside her room, wondering what she could possibly do now. Miles' room was opposite, and although the door was closed, she knew that it wasn't locked. Miles never locked his room.
She hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and turned the knob. It wasn't her first time in Miles' room, but it was the first time she had entered without his permission. It felt a little strange at first, but she felt better when she stood in the room. Miles had been living in here even before she moved into the next room, and his room had been neatly furnished in a nice, quaint way, much like the house in New Zealand. Standing in his room was almost like being back in New Zealand, a feeling that pained her, but felt good at the same time.
A photograph was stuck to Miles' desk, something Ana had never noticed before. She sat down on his chair and picked up the photo. It was of Miles and Jesse, arms around each other's shoulders. It was obvious that there was great love between the brothers, and they were best friends, there for each other no matter what. Both were grinning into the camera, something rare for Miles.
Tears stung Ana's eyes. They looked so happy. Especially Jesse. But that was just like him, wasn't it? When she was there, he had always been happy. In just those few days he had lit up her life like no one had before. He had made her forget her loneliness, made her forget all her troubles.
"It would never have worked out, Ana. You know that it wouldn't work," she said aloud, chiding herself. Then she began to cry, because she knew that Jesse was special, and if she had just allowed herself to be with him, they would find a way to make things to work. They could have been beautiful together, but she had let him go. She had left him behind without looking back, and now she would never see him again.
The tears were running down her cheeks freely now, blurring her vision. She looked around hastily for a box of tissues but there weren't any on Miles' table. In an impulsive moment she yanked open his drawer, pulling so hard that the whole drawer came out, and its contents were emptied on the floor. There was a box of tissues in the drawer, and Ana pulled out a tissue gratefully, trying to dry her eyes. She began to put Miles' things back into his drawer, but stopped when her hands brushed a book that lay on the floor. It had opened when it came flying out of the drawer, and now lay open as if Ana was meant to read it. Curious, she picked it up.
"It's one of those days again. One of those days where I wish that we had never gone near that cursed spring. If only we had known! If I had known, I would not have even washed my feet in that spring. Those innocent drinks we had, so many years ago, but we're still suffering for it now. I hate this immortality! I wish I could just pick up a knife and stab myself, and feel the pain, see the blood, instead of feeling nothing, just to have the knife pass through me. I wish I was mortal."
Ana dropped the book, realising at last that it was Miles' diary. She stared at the book, stunned by what she had just read. Then she put her head in her hands and cried harder than before, rocking herself as she sobbed out those endless tears.
She had spent the flight home trying to convince herself that she wasn't making a mistake. Sadly, she hadn't been very convincing, and had spent her first day home moping around the house, denying that she was moping while she was at it. Needless to say, Ana was in a very bad mood indeed.
After awhile she began to feel stifled by her pillow. She considered just staying there until she suffocated, then remembered that it was ridiculous, and so she sat up reluctantly. She leaned against the wall, staring at nothing. Her heart was still in New Zealand, and she didn't know if she'd ever get it back again. And ever was a long time.
Feeling restless, she got out of her bed and left her room. She had been hanging around her room for too long, and the air in there was starting to make her feel sick. She stood outside her room, wondering what she could possibly do now. Miles' room was opposite, and although the door was closed, she knew that it wasn't locked. Miles never locked his room.
She hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and turned the knob. It wasn't her first time in Miles' room, but it was the first time she had entered without his permission. It felt a little strange at first, but she felt better when she stood in the room. Miles had been living in here even before she moved into the next room, and his room had been neatly furnished in a nice, quaint way, much like the house in New Zealand. Standing in his room was almost like being back in New Zealand, a feeling that pained her, but felt good at the same time.
A photograph was stuck to Miles' desk, something Ana had never noticed before. She sat down on his chair and picked up the photo. It was of Miles and Jesse, arms around each other's shoulders. It was obvious that there was great love between the brothers, and they were best friends, there for each other no matter what. Both were grinning into the camera, something rare for Miles.
Tears stung Ana's eyes. They looked so happy. Especially Jesse. But that was just like him, wasn't it? When she was there, he had always been happy. In just those few days he had lit up her life like no one had before. He had made her forget her loneliness, made her forget all her troubles.
"It would never have worked out, Ana. You know that it wouldn't work," she said aloud, chiding herself. Then she began to cry, because she knew that Jesse was special, and if she had just allowed herself to be with him, they would find a way to make things to work. They could have been beautiful together, but she had let him go. She had left him behind without looking back, and now she would never see him again.
The tears were running down her cheeks freely now, blurring her vision. She looked around hastily for a box of tissues but there weren't any on Miles' table. In an impulsive moment she yanked open his drawer, pulling so hard that the whole drawer came out, and its contents were emptied on the floor. There was a box of tissues in the drawer, and Ana pulled out a tissue gratefully, trying to dry her eyes. She began to put Miles' things back into his drawer, but stopped when her hands brushed a book that lay on the floor. It had opened when it came flying out of the drawer, and now lay open as if Ana was meant to read it. Curious, she picked it up.
"It's one of those days again. One of those days where I wish that we had never gone near that cursed spring. If only we had known! If I had known, I would not have even washed my feet in that spring. Those innocent drinks we had, so many years ago, but we're still suffering for it now. I hate this immortality! I wish I could just pick up a knife and stab myself, and feel the pain, see the blood, instead of feeling nothing, just to have the knife pass through me. I wish I was mortal."
Ana dropped the book, realising at last that it was Miles' diary. She stared at the book, stunned by what she had just read. Then she put her head in her hands and cried harder than before, rocking herself as she sobbed out those endless tears.