Chapter 2: The party to end all parties
We see a young Minibot by the name of Warpath Baggins reclining against a tree in the Mire, taking in all of nature's beauty. Occasionally he would shift to tank mode and take a few potshots at a passing bird or a deer, but for the most part he quietly sat and thought. Presently he hears a horse and carriage coming down the path a few feet away from him. Excited, Warpath got up and ran to the edge of the path, where a white robot wearing a gray robe and pointy hat was riding the carriage towards the house known as The End.
Warpath: You're KABLAM! ZOOM! late.
The robot lifts his head to look at Warpath, revealing that he is the powerful wizard Ratchet the Gray.
Ratchet: A wizard is never late, Warpath Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to, which is when someone is needed to sacrifice themselves in a blaze of pyrotechnics.
The duo gaze at each other sternly for a moment before bursting into laughter. Warpath leaps into Ratchet's arms, unfortunately smashing his chest plate with his tank barrel.
Ratchet: Ow.
Some minutes later, after Ratchet had repaired the damage, he and Warpath had ridden into the heart of the Mire, where the resident Minibots welcomed/threw rotten fruit respectively at the wizard, who gave Warpath a quizzical look.
Warpath: After you ZING! POW! took Beachcomber on that adventure some years back, a few Minibots declared you a Disturber of the Peace.
Ratchet: A Disturber of the Peace, eh? What does that mean?
Warpath: Not much, just ZAP! CRUNCH! that everyone can legally pelt you with rotten fruit…
A cow suddenly comes flying out of nowhere and beans Ratchet on the noggin.
Warpath: …or livestock. You OK?
Ratchet (dazed): I'm fine, thank you Susan.
Eventually, the duo reaches The End, where they are greeted by Warpath's gardener and best friend Seaspray Gamgee. The two Minibots leave to prepare for the party as Ratchet knocks on Beachcomber's door.
Beachcomber: Heyyyyy, man. What groovy cat's rappin' at my door?
Ratchet: An old friend.
Beachcomber opens the door of The End, letting out a copious amount of incense and other, much less legal types of smoke. The duo hug.
Beachcomber: Ratchet, my man! How's every little thing?
Ratchet: Splendid, apart from the groin beetles I picked up two days ago.
The duo enter The End, where Beachcomber takes Ratchet's hat and staff. He proceeds to the kitchen as Ratchet blindly tries to find his way through the smoke.
Ratchet: So, looking forward to your party?
POW! Ratchet walks into a protruding beam.
Beachcomber: I sure am, my Trendy Helmeted friend. And I've got a little surprise for all those who attend.
Ratchet: This better not be like your last little surprise. I'm still trying to get the tapioca pudding out of my favorite robes.
Ratchet opens a door which he thinks will lead him to the living room. Stepping forward, he proceeds to crash down an extremely long set of stairs, ending with a loud CLANG!
Beachcomber: Dude! You alright?
A small, painful moan emanates from the basement.
A few hours later…
We see Warpath walking amongst the other Minibots as the party rages on. Sparing a glance at Ratchet, who's dancing with all the grace of an epileptic camel, he sits next to Seaspray. Following his friend's gaze, the tank sees a very attractive female Minibot by the name of Ignition at the next table.
Warpath: You gonna KABOOM! WOW! ask her to dance?
Seaspray: Are you kidding? How could I posshibly ashk her to danche?
Warpath: Simple. Just SPLAT! VROOM! say "Do you wanna dance?"
Seaspray: Really? Wow, that ISH eashy!
Seaspray makes his way to Ignition's table. A small distance away, we see Bumblebee Meriadoc and Cliffjumper Took fiddling with a rocket of sorts.
Cliffjumper: Are you sure about this?
Bumblebee: Of course I'm sure! When have any of my plans ever gone wrong?
Cliffjumper: Three hours ago, remember? The plan involving Huffer, a roll of flypaper and half a ton of bear grease? Now there's a scene that only thirty years worth of therapy can erase.
Bumblebee: Okay, I admit that plan was somewhat ill-judged. But THIS one is pure gold! Honest!
Cliffjumper: So what is the plan?
Bumblebee: We fire this…(reads the label on the rocket)…"Surface to Surface Missile" that Ratchet brought with him and liven this party up a bit.
Cliffjumper: Sounds good to me!
Bumblebee pushes a button marked "Activate". The missile shoots into the sky before crashing right in the middle of the party. The resulting explosion sends Minibots flying everywhere. Cut back to Bumblebee and Cliffjumper, both of whom look a bit spooked.
Cliffjumper: …
Bumblebee: That…might not have been a fancy firework.
Cliffjumper: I bet we'll get blamed for this.
Ratchet: You're not wrong.
The two Minibots turn around to see a seriously pissed off (and somewhat singed) Ratchet glaring at them.
Bumblebee/Cliffjumper: Eep.
An hour later, after everyone had pulled themselves together, Beachcomber stood on a stage facing the revelers.
Beachcomber: Heyyyyy, you groovy dudes and dudettes. Now that everything's quieted down a tad…
Cut to Ratchet, Cliffjumper and Bumblebee. The wizard has both Minibots in an extremely complicated submission move.
Ratchet: Apologize, damn you!
Cliffjumper: No!
Bumblebee: A thousand times no!
Back with Beachcomber…
Beachcomber: As all you crazy cats know, I'm all about honesty and telling it like it is. That's why I'm comfortable telling you that I've siphoned all of your bank accounts and am going to live it up in the G1 land of Lotsofcash.
Minibots: Awww, isn't that…WHAT?!?!
Beachcomber: So long, suckers! NYAAAAAAA!
Beachcomber puts the Thing on his finger.
Beachcomber: SURGE!!!!
Beachcomber disappears, much to the shock of the Minibots and Ratchet. The wizard's eyes widen.
Ratchet: Well, this is ominous.
Cut to Warpath, who is also wide-eyed.
Warpath: Hey Seaspray, did you SPLORT! WHACK! see that?
When no reply is forthcoming, Warpath turns to find that Seaspray is missing.
Warpath: Seaspray?
Cut now to a grassy grove, where two silhouettes are lying down.
Ignition: Oh, Seaspray!
Seaspray: SHCORE!
To be continued…