**PLEASE READ ***Authors Note- Hey everyone, how are we all? Well, I am asuming you all saw Thursday night's episode and it was a HORRBILY crappy episode for us Carbies, so I will be posting a second episode tonight (which is almost tomorrow) lol, and hopefully two tomorrow if I can get away form all that studying grrrrr. Oh I think some people are curious as to how many chapters we are doing, and right now I am just about to start chapter 45, so this story could go on forever as far as we are concerned, once we get bored I guess. We are really loving writing this and reading your reviews it is great to go into my inbox and find 8 or even one review, so thanks to all of you out there! Its amazing. Another thing, I know this is long but, if you have any questions you want to know about the story just put them in your review, or email me and we will answer them!!!!Again thanks to everyone!
~*~
I walk in to find my father in the den, sitting and reading a book. I know I'm probably a bit red, but I live my own life. He shouldn't care. He hasn't cared for the last 30 plus years, he's not going to care now. I go closer to him, and he puts down the book.
"I'm sorry."
What am I apologizing for, I'm really not sure. But he looks at me and starts laughing.
"I'm the one that should be sorry."
I don't know what I'm supposed to say, or how I"m supposed to act right now. It's not everyday that your father walks in on you trying to have sex, we were very unsuccessful at that. The awkward silence that always existed between us, is still there, maybe not as evident, but I'm not as close to my father as I should be, or will I ever be. At least my mother's not in town. That would have made hell freeze over.
"So who is she?"
He's looking at me, and I know I start to smile.
"Her name's Abby."
He nods his head, as if he's running through his mind what an 'Abby' was. Was she a gold digger or a whore? I guess he didn't settle on anything.
"And why haven't I been introduced?"
I shrug my shoulders. I don't know why. I guess I'm scared of what they might say. But I'm ready to stand up for her anyway. She's the one. I can feel it. The silence emits again between us, and my father starts to get up.
"Well I had stopped by to pick up some papers, and I'm going back to the hotel."
I watch him walk past me, and I stand in the room for a few seconds before heading off to find Abby. I walk back up the stairs, hating my father for coming, for showing up, for not being there. I look in the room I had left her, and sure enough, she's still in there, standing on the balcony, looking out at the gardens. I walk towards her, and I put my hands around her waist, but she instantly freezes and pushes me away. I look at her, and I instantly know something's wrong.
"Abby, what's wrong?"
She backs off to the other corner. I sometimes wish these things were smaller.
"Nothing."
She just spits it out at me. I keep trying to get to her, and she keeps on pushing me away.
"Abby..."
I finally give up and lean against the railing.
She looks at me, and then she looks back out at the gardens.
"I'm going to stay with Sam. She's coming to pick me and Bryce up after her shift."
I look at her, confused.
"Why?"
I really don't understand why she would leave.
"Because you should spend time with your father."
She's still starring out into nothingness.
"My father left. He just came to get some papers."
She nodded her head, but I knew she didn't exactly accept that reply.
"If something's bothering you, just tell me..."
She starts to shake her head, but then looks at me, anger and hurt in her eyes. I see it clearer than ever.
"You're living a lie."
I look at her, I have no clue what she's talking about.
"What?"
I watch her run her hand through her hair, and then she turns around, she's not facing me anymore.
"Why didn't your father know about me?"
I sigh heavily. There is no way I'm going to explain a lifetime of lies, deceit, and hate to her, in one night.
"Because me and my father aren't close."
No reply from her. She doesn't turn around. She doesn't say anything. I think she's waiting for me to say something.
"We've never been close. And telling him something would be like telling it to the wind. It wouldn't matter."
I don't get anything from her. Nothing. I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
"And I want it to matter. Because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And they would never understand."
I see her turn around.
"Because I'm what? Poor? Middle class? Not of the 'right society'?"
I start to shake my head, but I know it's not going to do anything.
"You've probably never had to struggle for a damn thing in your life... What the hell do you know about it."
She turns around and starts heading towards the screen door. I quickly grab her by the arms, trying to be gentle, but it's hard.
"Money isn't everything. You know that. You know me.... You know me."
I don't know what to say, how to get her to understand.
"No. I don't know you. What other secrets are you hiding from me?"
I shut my eyes. I was getting frustrated. Not angry. Just frustrated.
"Besides the fact that I love you and Bryce more than anything else in this world?"
It came out in rage. I just, I don't know what came over me. It stuns the both of us for a while.
"And that your ashamed of us."
I sigh again. I wish she wasn't so stubborn sometimes.
"No. I never could be."
She rolls her eyes. She's making me angrier by the second.
"So what? Just because you find out a have a few dollars in the bank, I'm suddenly a different person?"
She looks away, I guess I must have hit home.
"You are different, you don't have to worry about if you can pay your rent, or your bills. If you will be able to put food on the table, or provide everything that your child wants..."
I bit my lip a few second ago, and now it's bleeding. I can taste the distinct flavour of blood.
"But I worry. I worry about you and about Bryce. I worry if your okay, if he's healthy, happy..."
She cuts me off, mid-sentence.
"So maybe it would be better for all of us if you stopped worrying."
I try to get her to meet my gaze, but she won't.
"I can't do that."
She starts heading towards the door again.
"Well you better start trying. I can't believe I thought that this would work out."
The last part of her statement is spoken under her breath, but I catch every word.
"All I'd ever be to you is a good fuck."
I watch her get the door open and start to head towards the hallway.
"Abby! Please.. Just please don't go... Please..."
~*~
I walk in to find my father in the den, sitting and reading a book. I know I'm probably a bit red, but I live my own life. He shouldn't care. He hasn't cared for the last 30 plus years, he's not going to care now. I go closer to him, and he puts down the book.
"I'm sorry."
What am I apologizing for, I'm really not sure. But he looks at me and starts laughing.
"I'm the one that should be sorry."
I don't know what I'm supposed to say, or how I"m supposed to act right now. It's not everyday that your father walks in on you trying to have sex, we were very unsuccessful at that. The awkward silence that always existed between us, is still there, maybe not as evident, but I'm not as close to my father as I should be, or will I ever be. At least my mother's not in town. That would have made hell freeze over.
"So who is she?"
He's looking at me, and I know I start to smile.
"Her name's Abby."
He nods his head, as if he's running through his mind what an 'Abby' was. Was she a gold digger or a whore? I guess he didn't settle on anything.
"And why haven't I been introduced?"
I shrug my shoulders. I don't know why. I guess I'm scared of what they might say. But I'm ready to stand up for her anyway. She's the one. I can feel it. The silence emits again between us, and my father starts to get up.
"Well I had stopped by to pick up some papers, and I'm going back to the hotel."
I watch him walk past me, and I stand in the room for a few seconds before heading off to find Abby. I walk back up the stairs, hating my father for coming, for showing up, for not being there. I look in the room I had left her, and sure enough, she's still in there, standing on the balcony, looking out at the gardens. I walk towards her, and I put my hands around her waist, but she instantly freezes and pushes me away. I look at her, and I instantly know something's wrong.
"Abby, what's wrong?"
She backs off to the other corner. I sometimes wish these things were smaller.
"Nothing."
She just spits it out at me. I keep trying to get to her, and she keeps on pushing me away.
"Abby..."
I finally give up and lean against the railing.
She looks at me, and then she looks back out at the gardens.
"I'm going to stay with Sam. She's coming to pick me and Bryce up after her shift."
I look at her, confused.
"Why?"
I really don't understand why she would leave.
"Because you should spend time with your father."
She's still starring out into nothingness.
"My father left. He just came to get some papers."
She nodded her head, but I knew she didn't exactly accept that reply.
"If something's bothering you, just tell me..."
She starts to shake her head, but then looks at me, anger and hurt in her eyes. I see it clearer than ever.
"You're living a lie."
I look at her, I have no clue what she's talking about.
"What?"
I watch her run her hand through her hair, and then she turns around, she's not facing me anymore.
"Why didn't your father know about me?"
I sigh heavily. There is no way I'm going to explain a lifetime of lies, deceit, and hate to her, in one night.
"Because me and my father aren't close."
No reply from her. She doesn't turn around. She doesn't say anything. I think she's waiting for me to say something.
"We've never been close. And telling him something would be like telling it to the wind. It wouldn't matter."
I don't get anything from her. Nothing. I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
"And I want it to matter. Because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And they would never understand."
I see her turn around.
"Because I'm what? Poor? Middle class? Not of the 'right society'?"
I start to shake my head, but I know it's not going to do anything.
"You've probably never had to struggle for a damn thing in your life... What the hell do you know about it."
She turns around and starts heading towards the screen door. I quickly grab her by the arms, trying to be gentle, but it's hard.
"Money isn't everything. You know that. You know me.... You know me."
I don't know what to say, how to get her to understand.
"No. I don't know you. What other secrets are you hiding from me?"
I shut my eyes. I was getting frustrated. Not angry. Just frustrated.
"Besides the fact that I love you and Bryce more than anything else in this world?"
It came out in rage. I just, I don't know what came over me. It stuns the both of us for a while.
"And that your ashamed of us."
I sigh again. I wish she wasn't so stubborn sometimes.
"No. I never could be."
She rolls her eyes. She's making me angrier by the second.
"So what? Just because you find out a have a few dollars in the bank, I'm suddenly a different person?"
She looks away, I guess I must have hit home.
"You are different, you don't have to worry about if you can pay your rent, or your bills. If you will be able to put food on the table, or provide everything that your child wants..."
I bit my lip a few second ago, and now it's bleeding. I can taste the distinct flavour of blood.
"But I worry. I worry about you and about Bryce. I worry if your okay, if he's healthy, happy..."
She cuts me off, mid-sentence.
"So maybe it would be better for all of us if you stopped worrying."
I try to get her to meet my gaze, but she won't.
"I can't do that."
She starts heading towards the door again.
"Well you better start trying. I can't believe I thought that this would work out."
The last part of her statement is spoken under her breath, but I catch every word.
"All I'd ever be to you is a good fuck."
I watch her get the door open and start to head towards the hallway.
"Abby! Please.. Just please don't go... Please..."