Authors Note- Thanks everyone who reviewed, and everyone who read!!! OKay well here is chapter 33, I will try to update a little later, but I have a HUGE paper I have to write so I will be busy with that all day, that will also stop me from writing my next chapter, but I will do my best to get an update up today or tomorrow. Here you go...
~*~
I storm into his bedroom preparing to go get my son and wait out side, but Carter jumps in front of me. "So you think that's all I wanted huh? Sex?" He's clearly exasperated.
"That's what I said isn't it?" I spit back.
"Why haven't we had sex then? If I wanted to fuck you, I could have. This has nothing to do with sex."
"That's bullshit Carter and you know it!" I yell at him.
"No I don't know it. I could get a good fuck any where. You and I we have something special." He says emphasising the word special.
"Yeah well I don't feel so special right now." I sigh pushing my hair behind my ears. My eyes meet his and he holds my gaze for a moment. "Sam will be here any minute, I have to go." I say quietly pushing past him. I can tell he feels beat. I am not close with my mother, she chased me around the house with a fucking knife when I was child and I still told her. He really is worried about my social class isn't he? I walk into the hall way and look around the house not knowing where the hell to start looking for my son. I walk down the long hall towards the stairs and turn into that room. Bryce has himself propped up by pillows and is watching television. I walk in, I try to smile, I don't want to scare him, he has had a rough last little while. "Hey." I say quietly sitting down on the bed.
"Hey mom." He smiles.
"Uh- Sam is coming to get us. We are going to spend the night with her and Alex." I manage to tell him without my voice cracking.
"What? Why?" He asks sitting straight up in the bed.
"Uh- We just can't stay here tonight." I tell him. He looks upset. Very upset. "Come on, get your bag." I get up and walk to the door waiting for Bryce. He sulks out unhappily and we walk towards the stairs. "Hey, cheer up." I try putting my arm around him but he pushes me away. "Don't be like that." We reach that bottom of the stairs and he runs towards the front door putting his coat and shoes on, then slamming the door behind him as he leaves. I bite my bottom lip trying not to cry. I should have known he would hurt both of us. Bryce only sees me hurting him, he doesn't know that this is coming from Carter. I follow Bryce outside and stand beside him. "Did you screw it up with him?" He spits bitterly.
"Bryce-" I am not in the mood for this. I just want to get some sleep and then go back to my own apartment. "No mom tell me." He yells. "I deserve to know."
"Bryce, this is my life, and you will not be informed of every little detail." I holler back. "Well your fucking up my life!" He screeches back. I turn away from him. "He was the only good thing that has ever happened to me, and you went and screwed it up, cause your so selfish!" He kicks the ground.
"Bryce... You have some nerve. You are grounded forever. Sit your ass down on the steps and don't move a muscle." I yell at him.
"I don't want to go with you, I would rather stay here with Carter!" He screams.
"Guess what baby, Carter doesn't want you. I'm all you have so get your ass over here they're are coming up the drive way." He looks at me astonished, he slowly walks over to me. Grabbing his bag he walks behinds Sam's car and tosses it into the trunk. This is going to be a long night. Sam is smiling, so is Alex's who greets Bryce with a big smile and high five. Bryce expression is still hard, Sam can tell something has happened, and I know I will be explaining it to her later.
The drive to their apartment is quiet and tension filled. I focus on the dark scenery for most of the ride. The car slowly pulls into the parking garage, and Bryce and Alex dart out of the car eager to get away from the adults, while Sam and I are stuck carrying the bags. "So what happened?" She asks as we walk up the stairs to her apartment.
"uh- just a whole bunch of stuff." I feign a smile.
"I'm sorry." She says smiling sympathetically.
"Well I should have known that that relationship was doomed from the start." I sigh, "With kids, you just can't be as careless with relationships. They end up getting attached and being hurt in the end more then you do." "I hear you." Sam laughs. "I have been dating Luka for five months now, and uh- Alex just loves him. I do too. I just wonder whether I am doing the right thing by being with him, then I remember that yes I love my son but I can't live in a box or tip toe around because of him." I nod in agreement.
"I just hope Bryce can deal with the fact that Carter and I aren't together any more." I sigh. "I hope I can deal with it." I finish.
"Well, he's a kid he'll be okay. Kids are resultant."
"Yeah... I know." I guess at this point I am scared. I really though Carter was a good decent guy, maybe I jumped to a conclusion, an incorrect conclusion. Whatever the case maybe I will sleep on it and see what happens. I didn't give him much of a chance to explain. I just feel so lied to right now, I just had to get out of their. He didn't really tell me about his money, which isn't a big deal, I guess I just would have liked to know how his family really is. I have told him about my family, but he keeps quiet about his. Did he ever plan on introducing me to his father? That was a hell of an introduction that he got tonight. He lied to be about his money, and then didn't tell his father about me. I just feel weird. I'll sleep on it, and talk to Carter in the morning, or depending on my feelings I just may never talk to him at all. But I will sleep on it.
* * * * *
I yawn, I feel completely exhausted. I can never get as good of a sleep on a couch as I can in my own bed. I walk over to admit and rummage through the stack of charts, I really don't want to see any of these people not today. I have been working an eight hour shift I am tired and just want to go to bed. Lucky for me it is safe to go back to my apartment, I am looking for a new apartment, Bryce and I can not continue to live there. "Hey," I look up and see Pratt hovering over me. I wave at him, "tired?" He grins. I nod yes, then cover my mouth and yawn again. He laughs patting me on the back. "Hope you feel better tomorrow baby, I'm off." He gloats heading into the lounge. I am off in ten minutes, so I am not that jealous. I walk over to the next patient, and tiredly listen as they tell me exactly what they think is wrong with them. I smile politely at the patient and tell them I will be right back, I just have to talk to an attending. I search the hospital to find someone to talk to, anyone. Susan- busy with a trauma. Luka- Busy with Neela, I walk into the lounge to see if Chen is in there, no Chen but Carter. He looks over, our eyes meet and I look away, closing the door. He could be my only option if I want to get out of here in the next five minutes. "Hey mom, when are we leaving?" Bryce asks walking up behind me. "Uh- soon." I smile weakly at him, he cocks his eye brow at me knowing that something is wrong. He seems to be over our fight last night, I'm not so sure I am. "Okay, can you be quick cause I'm really hungry." He says rubbing his stomach. I smile at him and walk into the lounge, this is for my son. I tell my self as Carter looks up at me from his coffee. "Uh- Can I present to you?" I ask quietly without making direct eye contact.
"I'm not on for another five minutes, find another attending." He says throwing his Styrofoam cup in the trash. I roll my eyes at him. "Please." I say trying not to grovel. "Just find someone else okay?" He says rudely. He seems quite angry, he has no reason to be mad. "Look John, if you want to hate me. Fine hate me. But at least be professional." I spit. "I am being professional, if it were my shift right now I would gladly look over your chart, but its not." He says with a sarcastic twist.
"What the hell did I ever see in you." I say letting the door slam behind me. I see Bryce standing in front of me, he looks tired. "We will go as soon as possible, just let me find someone to present too. I want to leave too." I promise I walk towards the admit desk and Bryce follows looking over the chart we wait for an attending. Carter walks out of the lounge and looks over the stack of charts, ignoring me. "Present to Carter mom." Bryce whines.
"Bryce..." I start.
"What's going on?" Susan asks walking up.
"I just need to present to you." I say glaring at Carter.
"Sure-" She notices something wrong, but seems to let it go.
"Bryce go get ready to go, wait in the lounge." go any where but near Carter. He nods his head and walks into the lounge, he knows that things aren't right between Carter and I. I walk away with Susan, and she says she will take care of it, and for me to just go home. I thank her and walk towards the lounge. Bryce isn't in there. He must be waiting in the chairs. I rifle through my locker and feel wind hit me, turning around I see Carter has entered the lounge. "Look just..." He says but seems unsure of himself so starts over. "You hate me, I hate you. Its gone back to the way it use to be, just don't make Bryce hate me, or pay for it." He says emotional, yet with a flare of anger. With that he leaves. God I don't hate you Carter. I just don't understand you. Tears fill my eyes. Hate. He hates me?
~*~
I storm into his bedroom preparing to go get my son and wait out side, but Carter jumps in front of me. "So you think that's all I wanted huh? Sex?" He's clearly exasperated.
"That's what I said isn't it?" I spit back.
"Why haven't we had sex then? If I wanted to fuck you, I could have. This has nothing to do with sex."
"That's bullshit Carter and you know it!" I yell at him.
"No I don't know it. I could get a good fuck any where. You and I we have something special." He says emphasising the word special.
"Yeah well I don't feel so special right now." I sigh pushing my hair behind my ears. My eyes meet his and he holds my gaze for a moment. "Sam will be here any minute, I have to go." I say quietly pushing past him. I can tell he feels beat. I am not close with my mother, she chased me around the house with a fucking knife when I was child and I still told her. He really is worried about my social class isn't he? I walk into the hall way and look around the house not knowing where the hell to start looking for my son. I walk down the long hall towards the stairs and turn into that room. Bryce has himself propped up by pillows and is watching television. I walk in, I try to smile, I don't want to scare him, he has had a rough last little while. "Hey." I say quietly sitting down on the bed.
"Hey mom." He smiles.
"Uh- Sam is coming to get us. We are going to spend the night with her and Alex." I manage to tell him without my voice cracking.
"What? Why?" He asks sitting straight up in the bed.
"Uh- We just can't stay here tonight." I tell him. He looks upset. Very upset. "Come on, get your bag." I get up and walk to the door waiting for Bryce. He sulks out unhappily and we walk towards the stairs. "Hey, cheer up." I try putting my arm around him but he pushes me away. "Don't be like that." We reach that bottom of the stairs and he runs towards the front door putting his coat and shoes on, then slamming the door behind him as he leaves. I bite my bottom lip trying not to cry. I should have known he would hurt both of us. Bryce only sees me hurting him, he doesn't know that this is coming from Carter. I follow Bryce outside and stand beside him. "Did you screw it up with him?" He spits bitterly.
"Bryce-" I am not in the mood for this. I just want to get some sleep and then go back to my own apartment. "No mom tell me." He yells. "I deserve to know."
"Bryce, this is my life, and you will not be informed of every little detail." I holler back. "Well your fucking up my life!" He screeches back. I turn away from him. "He was the only good thing that has ever happened to me, and you went and screwed it up, cause your so selfish!" He kicks the ground.
"Bryce... You have some nerve. You are grounded forever. Sit your ass down on the steps and don't move a muscle." I yell at him.
"I don't want to go with you, I would rather stay here with Carter!" He screams.
"Guess what baby, Carter doesn't want you. I'm all you have so get your ass over here they're are coming up the drive way." He looks at me astonished, he slowly walks over to me. Grabbing his bag he walks behinds Sam's car and tosses it into the trunk. This is going to be a long night. Sam is smiling, so is Alex's who greets Bryce with a big smile and high five. Bryce expression is still hard, Sam can tell something has happened, and I know I will be explaining it to her later.
The drive to their apartment is quiet and tension filled. I focus on the dark scenery for most of the ride. The car slowly pulls into the parking garage, and Bryce and Alex dart out of the car eager to get away from the adults, while Sam and I are stuck carrying the bags. "So what happened?" She asks as we walk up the stairs to her apartment.
"uh- just a whole bunch of stuff." I feign a smile.
"I'm sorry." She says smiling sympathetically.
"Well I should have known that that relationship was doomed from the start." I sigh, "With kids, you just can't be as careless with relationships. They end up getting attached and being hurt in the end more then you do." "I hear you." Sam laughs. "I have been dating Luka for five months now, and uh- Alex just loves him. I do too. I just wonder whether I am doing the right thing by being with him, then I remember that yes I love my son but I can't live in a box or tip toe around because of him." I nod in agreement.
"I just hope Bryce can deal with the fact that Carter and I aren't together any more." I sigh. "I hope I can deal with it." I finish.
"Well, he's a kid he'll be okay. Kids are resultant."
"Yeah... I know." I guess at this point I am scared. I really though Carter was a good decent guy, maybe I jumped to a conclusion, an incorrect conclusion. Whatever the case maybe I will sleep on it and see what happens. I didn't give him much of a chance to explain. I just feel so lied to right now, I just had to get out of their. He didn't really tell me about his money, which isn't a big deal, I guess I just would have liked to know how his family really is. I have told him about my family, but he keeps quiet about his. Did he ever plan on introducing me to his father? That was a hell of an introduction that he got tonight. He lied to be about his money, and then didn't tell his father about me. I just feel weird. I'll sleep on it, and talk to Carter in the morning, or depending on my feelings I just may never talk to him at all. But I will sleep on it.
* * * * *
I yawn, I feel completely exhausted. I can never get as good of a sleep on a couch as I can in my own bed. I walk over to admit and rummage through the stack of charts, I really don't want to see any of these people not today. I have been working an eight hour shift I am tired and just want to go to bed. Lucky for me it is safe to go back to my apartment, I am looking for a new apartment, Bryce and I can not continue to live there. "Hey," I look up and see Pratt hovering over me. I wave at him, "tired?" He grins. I nod yes, then cover my mouth and yawn again. He laughs patting me on the back. "Hope you feel better tomorrow baby, I'm off." He gloats heading into the lounge. I am off in ten minutes, so I am not that jealous. I walk over to the next patient, and tiredly listen as they tell me exactly what they think is wrong with them. I smile politely at the patient and tell them I will be right back, I just have to talk to an attending. I search the hospital to find someone to talk to, anyone. Susan- busy with a trauma. Luka- Busy with Neela, I walk into the lounge to see if Chen is in there, no Chen but Carter. He looks over, our eyes meet and I look away, closing the door. He could be my only option if I want to get out of here in the next five minutes. "Hey mom, when are we leaving?" Bryce asks walking up behind me. "Uh- soon." I smile weakly at him, he cocks his eye brow at me knowing that something is wrong. He seems to be over our fight last night, I'm not so sure I am. "Okay, can you be quick cause I'm really hungry." He says rubbing his stomach. I smile at him and walk into the lounge, this is for my son. I tell my self as Carter looks up at me from his coffee. "Uh- Can I present to you?" I ask quietly without making direct eye contact.
"I'm not on for another five minutes, find another attending." He says throwing his Styrofoam cup in the trash. I roll my eyes at him. "Please." I say trying not to grovel. "Just find someone else okay?" He says rudely. He seems quite angry, he has no reason to be mad. "Look John, if you want to hate me. Fine hate me. But at least be professional." I spit. "I am being professional, if it were my shift right now I would gladly look over your chart, but its not." He says with a sarcastic twist.
"What the hell did I ever see in you." I say letting the door slam behind me. I see Bryce standing in front of me, he looks tired. "We will go as soon as possible, just let me find someone to present too. I want to leave too." I promise I walk towards the admit desk and Bryce follows looking over the chart we wait for an attending. Carter walks out of the lounge and looks over the stack of charts, ignoring me. "Present to Carter mom." Bryce whines.
"Bryce..." I start.
"What's going on?" Susan asks walking up.
"I just need to present to you." I say glaring at Carter.
"Sure-" She notices something wrong, but seems to let it go.
"Bryce go get ready to go, wait in the lounge." go any where but near Carter. He nods his head and walks into the lounge, he knows that things aren't right between Carter and I. I walk away with Susan, and she says she will take care of it, and for me to just go home. I thank her and walk towards the lounge. Bryce isn't in there. He must be waiting in the chairs. I rifle through my locker and feel wind hit me, turning around I see Carter has entered the lounge. "Look just..." He says but seems unsure of himself so starts over. "You hate me, I hate you. Its gone back to the way it use to be, just don't make Bryce hate me, or pay for it." He says emotional, yet with a flare of anger. With that he leaves. God I don't hate you Carter. I just don't understand you. Tears fill my eyes. Hate. He hates me?