Welcome to the world of answered questions, Saphire Cat! And the answers to your questions are:

1. The elves will be a combination of G1 and Beast Wars characters, mostly of the Autobot/Maximal variety.

2. Not quite yet. If I do, it'll probably be in the later chapters.

Now, story time!

Chapter 6: How to build an army of darkness in three easy steps

We're in the Nemesis as Autobot X (hereafter to be referred to as X) sits up as Megatron and the Insecticons watch.

X: Hypothesis: I live. Conclusion:…

From out of nowhere, Holo-Shockwave runs in and beans X with a steel girder.

Holo-Shockwave: That's for stealing my shtick!

As suddenly as he appeared, Holo-Shockwave disappears.

X: Uurgh…

Megatron: …Well then. Allow me to be the first to welcome you to life, X! May you live long and prosper in service to me and the almighty Unicron…

X leaps to his feet.

X: Just a minute! Don't I get a say in this? What if I don't want to…

X trails off as a fusion cannon is aimed at his face and three smaller guns at his crotch.

X (quickly): What is your command, master?

Megatron: Nothing yet. Now that I know that the procedure works, I can build Unicron's army and conquer Middle Cybertron! Insecticons!

Insecticons: Yeah?

Megatron: Bring me the raw materials I need for the army's construction!

Shrapnel: And where would they be, be?

Megatron: Supply Chamber B-7.

The Insecticons share a few nervous glances.

Kickback: Supply Chamber B-7?

Megatron: Yes, Supp…(sees the Insecticons faces)…what have you done now?

Bombshell: Well…you know how last month was a bit lean in terms of food?

Megatron: Yes?

Shrapnel: And you know how our clone army needs to be kept well fed, well fed?

Megatron: Ye…wait…are you telling me your clones…ATE my spare body parts?

Kickback: Yep.

Megatron: …ALL OF THEM?

Bombshell: Uh…yep.

A moment of unnatural calm. Then…

Megatron: YOU IDIOTS! Do you realize that my continued existence hinges on me creating an army for Unicron in a few hours? DO YOU?!?

As Megatron takes a threatening step forward, Shrapnel leaps into Bombshell's arms, who leaps into Kickback's arms, who flips over Megatron to land in X's arms, who quickly backs away from the rampaging Meggy.

Shrapnel: C-calm down, chief, chief!

Bombshell: Yeah! Look, why don't we consult Wake the Dead again? Maybe it has a contingency plan for this sort of emergency.

Megatron (gritting his teeth): Very well. Proceed.

Kickback quickly brings Issue 2 of Wake the Dead out of his subspace pocket and reads through it silently for a few minutes as Megatron taps his foot impatiently.

Megatron: Well? What does it say we should do?

Kickback: Um…according to this, one of us should sleep with the town sheriff's beautiful daughter, get discovered by said sheriff and then get beaten up and tossed naked into the pouring rain.

Everyone is silent for a moment as Megatron gapes in disbelief at Kickback. Finally, X speaks up.

X: I'll do it.

Megatron: AAGH! I'm surrounded by idiocy! Where am I going to find an army now?

Shrapnel's face brightens as an idea forms in his head.

Shrapnel: Well, well…

*****

An hour later…

Outside of Nemesis now, we see Mixmaster, Scavenger, Long Haul and Bonecrusher working on a massive underground chamber as Megatron talks with Shrapnel, Hook and Scrapper.

Megatron (to Shrapnel): Explain to me again how this will get me army.

Shrapnel: It's simple, boss, boss. Utilizing the famous phrase 'Money doesn't grow on trees', I deduced that, logically, soldiers must grow underground, ground.

Megatron: What the…?

Hook: It's true. You can't argue with logic that infallible.

Scrapper: No sirree bob.

Megatron glares at them for a moment before putting his head in his hands.

Megatron: Alright, fine. Seeing as how I have no choice, how long and how much will this work take/cost?

Scrapper: Well, we've still got about 60% of the job left to do…add in coffee breaks, donut breaks and Scrabble breaks…and we'll be done in about, say, ten minutes? Nine if we immediately decide on what color to use for the breeding chambers.

Hook: As for cost, given that we've taken all the materials we need from Gestalt Forest…

We see Bonecrusher and Long Haul toss a generic gestalt into the pit.

Hook: …all that you need to pay is our fee, which I believe you'll find is quite reasonable.

Hook hands Megatron a datapad. He reads it silently and with a neutral expression. Once he's finished, he takes out a flask of energon from subspace, takes a swig and reads the pad again, this time spraying a stream of energon out of his mouth in shock.

Megatron: SIX MILLION CREDITS?!?

Scrapper: What? Let me see that.

Megatron hands the pad to Scrapper, who shakes his head.

Scrapper: Oh, no, no, no. This isn't right at all.

Hook: No?

Scrapper: Absolutely not. Let me just factor in a few key elements…and there we go!

Scrapper hands the pad back to Megatron. He looks at the new figure and then at the two Constructicons, his mouth opening and closing several times.

Scrapper: Something wrong?

Megatron: Th-this is twenty-seven times more than the first amount!

Scrapper: Union rules, bub. You hire us for a Saturday, we hike up the price.

Hook (to Scrapper): You da man!

Hook and Scrapper high-five and walk off, laughing.

Shrapnel: Look at this way boss, boss. This is your only chance to build Unicron's army, army.

Megatron (faraway tone): Indeed.

Megatron turns to Shrapnel and lays a hand on his shoulder.

Megatron: Shrapnel, I've always looked though highly of you as a top henchman.

Shrapnel: Really, really?

Megatron: Indeed. Which is why I want you, if this plan fails and I meet my end at Unicron's metaphorical hands, to think this one thought about me.

Megatron leans in so his face is just an inch or two from Shrapnel's.

Megatron: I'll be back to get you!

*****

Meanwhile, some distance away, Spanky and the Minibots have made camp for the night. After a few minutes of sitting there silently, Warpath speaks up.

Warpath: Uh, Spanky…

Spanky: I'm no longer called Spanky.

Warpath: Oh, lord. What are you called then?

Spanky: You may call Captain Jim Crackle Squirrel Nuts McCheesecake.

Silence.

Warpath: …No.

Gabby: Worth a shot. What do you want?

Warpath: It's about those Thingwraiths. Are you sure they can't track us?

Gabby: Fear not, my young friend. I left a little surprise back in the Frilly Lampshade should they find out we were there.

As Warpath nods in response, the town of SQUEE!, just barely visible from here, explodes in a fantastic display of light and noise. The Minibots stare at the giant mushroom cloud in shock as Gabby regards it thoughtfully. Bits of debris from SQUEE! land all around them.

Gabby: Hmm. Maybe I should've lowered the explosive yield. Ah, well at least we dealt with the Thingwraiths with minimal fuss.

On the s of fuss, Grimlock's energo sword falls from the sky and buries itself up to its hilt in Warpath's chest. Warpath shares a look of disbelief with Gabby before the former collapses to the ground in a faint. Everyone regards the fallen Thingbearer silently for a moment.

Cliffjumper: Man, what're the odds, huh?

To be continued…