Authors Note: As promised here is another chapter. I probably post another chapter tonight, but after that I will go back to posting one day, around the same time I am posting this. The reason for this, is because we have made I think 2 Christmas chapters and it would be nice to post that closer to Christmas, and then over the break we will hopefully get a chance to write LOTS more chapters. We are at Chapter 55 YAY!!! we love writing this fic, and we hope you guys love reading it just as much. So after Christmas, we will be doing more frequent updates again!!!!
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I hear Bryce's voice over Abby's incessant tone. He's in his pyjamas, probably heading to bed. I give him a smile, and he starts heading over towards me, pushing his way around Abby. I grab him in a hug, and he holds on tighter.
"You gave us quite a scare..."
He doesn't move, he just keeps on holding on to me. I'd rather he doesn't let go. I cannot bear to have him hurt again. Even though I'm probably a source of some of that pain. I see Abby's hand ruffle his hair, and instruct him to go to bed. He still doesn't let go. I hear her yell his name, a little bit more forceful.
"Bryce, listen to your mom, okay?"
He starts to nod his head, and I give him a kiss. He starts to look up at me.
"Carter, can I go with you?"
I slowly look up at Abby, and I see a look of pain and hurt on her face. She quickly covers it though. Typical Abby. I shake my head. As much as I wish he could.
"Sorry, but your mom would miss you too much."
He starts to back away from Abby again.
"She wouldn't care. She didn't want me anyway."
I really don't know what to say. I know my parents didn't want me. But it's got to be ten times worse if you hear them say it. And I know she wasn't serious. In her moment of rage. She loves him too much.
"Bryce, I thought we had talked?"
I look at her, she finally said something.
"We did... But it doesn't fix everything.."
The eerie silence hit us, the three of us. Especially me and Abby. Bryce wasn't the guilty party. He wasn't supposed to be involved at all. I give him a last quick hug, and I push him off towards the door.
"Go to bed. We'll get together tomorrow, okay?"
I watch him reluctantly turn towards the door and Abby. She started to turn in, following him. I walked up to her quickly, grabbing her arm, pulling her into the hallway. I shut the door and looked at her. She didn't look happy. At all. She was holding the place where I had grabbed her, as if my touch was fire and it was burning her.
"We can't keep doing this."
She looks out into space, avoiding my gaze.
"Then stop."
She sounded like a three year old. I understand she's tired and worn out. I understand she's been through more this past week than she probably has in her whole life, but it doesn't mean that she has to act like such a child.
"Stop acting like such a bitch."
I could have chosen different words. But I didn't make the effort to do so.
"I don't need this.."
She starts to head back to her door, but I hold her. No. We're getting this sorted out. We're talking. If I have to tie her down to a damn chair and force her to.
"Stop running away. Just stop running away."
She stops and looks at me. Hate is pure in her brown eyes.
"What the hell do you want?"
I take a deep breathe, I need to control myself because I know this can go in a completely opposite direction.
"I'm not leaving Bryce."
She rolls her eyes at me.
"That decision is not up to you."
She's tired. I can tell from the sound of her voice, her actions.
"You're right. It's Bryce's."
She starts to shake her head. But she stops.
"What do you want, from me?"
She stresses the from me part. I wish I could tell her what I really want to. I wish I could. It's so hard. It's so much. It's so fast. I can't stop thinking about her. About us. About the last few weeks. It's a blur, but a happy blur. Then the pain sticks out like an outlier. Out for the world to see.
"I want you to listen to me. To try to understand me."
She hesitates before giving me a forced 'fine'. She probably knows I'm not going to let her go anywhere before I say what I want. But the thing is, I really don't know what I want to say to her.
"I"m sorry. I'm sorry for what I said to you, for the way I acted. For everything. I just.. I would do anything to go back to the way we were before."
She's looking at the painting on the wall, her body turned slightly to the left, her arms crossed protectively in front of her. I don't get a response from me.
"And I know that's impossible. I know you hate me.. You have good reason to. But you need to know, I never meant to hurt you."
I don't get a response from her. It's as if she was frozen and I was talking to brick wall. I think I would have gotten a better response from a brick wall. I turn around and start heading toward the stairs.
"I knew."
I stop and wait for a second. I don't know if I'm hearing things or if I'm dreaming. I turn around, worried that what I just heard was my own heart's illusion, but I guess its not. I look at her, and she locks gazes for a minute, then she runs her hand through her hair, concentrating on a pattern on the floor. I start to move back closer to her. The awkward silence that had been before, came again. And neither one of us knew what to do. It's like that magnetic force with the opposite poles. Opposites attract. Love is stronger. I look at her. Her head was in her hand, holding the hair out of her face. She looked like she had already falling into a deep black hole with no way out. She's holding on, she's trying to hold on, but I know she's not strong enough. I don't expect her to be. I walk up to her, and place my hand on her shoulder. She pushes me away, but I'm not giving up just yet. I try again and I'm met with no resistance. I push the hair out of her face and she looks up at me. I don't know what to read from her. I can't. I delicately pull her in towards me, and her head finds its usual spot on my chest. And she's breathing heavily, shaking.
I stand there holding her for eternity. I was afraid to let her go. I kiss her lightly on the head, but she's not moving. She's zoned out, lost, alone. I just want to be there. I just want to hold her. Nothing else matters to me. She spontaneously pushes me away. She heads back to her room. She doesn't look at me. I don't' understand her anymore. Is there anything I can do to get through to her that I love her? Yeah. I just realized it. I've known it from the first day that I saw her. I love her.
And she hates me.
***PREVIEW***
Sorry the preview is so short, longer next time I promise!
'He starts to laugh, he has this laugh, that is just so I don't know sexy? Can a laugh be sexy? If it can his is. It's deep, and quiet, but not too quiet.'
~*~
I hear Bryce's voice over Abby's incessant tone. He's in his pyjamas, probably heading to bed. I give him a smile, and he starts heading over towards me, pushing his way around Abby. I grab him in a hug, and he holds on tighter.
"You gave us quite a scare..."
He doesn't move, he just keeps on holding on to me. I'd rather he doesn't let go. I cannot bear to have him hurt again. Even though I'm probably a source of some of that pain. I see Abby's hand ruffle his hair, and instruct him to go to bed. He still doesn't let go. I hear her yell his name, a little bit more forceful.
"Bryce, listen to your mom, okay?"
He starts to nod his head, and I give him a kiss. He starts to look up at me.
"Carter, can I go with you?"
I slowly look up at Abby, and I see a look of pain and hurt on her face. She quickly covers it though. Typical Abby. I shake my head. As much as I wish he could.
"Sorry, but your mom would miss you too much."
He starts to back away from Abby again.
"She wouldn't care. She didn't want me anyway."
I really don't know what to say. I know my parents didn't want me. But it's got to be ten times worse if you hear them say it. And I know she wasn't serious. In her moment of rage. She loves him too much.
"Bryce, I thought we had talked?"
I look at her, she finally said something.
"We did... But it doesn't fix everything.."
The eerie silence hit us, the three of us. Especially me and Abby. Bryce wasn't the guilty party. He wasn't supposed to be involved at all. I give him a last quick hug, and I push him off towards the door.
"Go to bed. We'll get together tomorrow, okay?"
I watch him reluctantly turn towards the door and Abby. She started to turn in, following him. I walked up to her quickly, grabbing her arm, pulling her into the hallway. I shut the door and looked at her. She didn't look happy. At all. She was holding the place where I had grabbed her, as if my touch was fire and it was burning her.
"We can't keep doing this."
She looks out into space, avoiding my gaze.
"Then stop."
She sounded like a three year old. I understand she's tired and worn out. I understand she's been through more this past week than she probably has in her whole life, but it doesn't mean that she has to act like such a child.
"Stop acting like such a bitch."
I could have chosen different words. But I didn't make the effort to do so.
"I don't need this.."
She starts to head back to her door, but I hold her. No. We're getting this sorted out. We're talking. If I have to tie her down to a damn chair and force her to.
"Stop running away. Just stop running away."
She stops and looks at me. Hate is pure in her brown eyes.
"What the hell do you want?"
I take a deep breathe, I need to control myself because I know this can go in a completely opposite direction.
"I'm not leaving Bryce."
She rolls her eyes at me.
"That decision is not up to you."
She's tired. I can tell from the sound of her voice, her actions.
"You're right. It's Bryce's."
She starts to shake her head. But she stops.
"What do you want, from me?"
She stresses the from me part. I wish I could tell her what I really want to. I wish I could. It's so hard. It's so much. It's so fast. I can't stop thinking about her. About us. About the last few weeks. It's a blur, but a happy blur. Then the pain sticks out like an outlier. Out for the world to see.
"I want you to listen to me. To try to understand me."
She hesitates before giving me a forced 'fine'. She probably knows I'm not going to let her go anywhere before I say what I want. But the thing is, I really don't know what I want to say to her.
"I"m sorry. I'm sorry for what I said to you, for the way I acted. For everything. I just.. I would do anything to go back to the way we were before."
She's looking at the painting on the wall, her body turned slightly to the left, her arms crossed protectively in front of her. I don't get a response from me.
"And I know that's impossible. I know you hate me.. You have good reason to. But you need to know, I never meant to hurt you."
I don't get a response from her. It's as if she was frozen and I was talking to brick wall. I think I would have gotten a better response from a brick wall. I turn around and start heading toward the stairs.
"I knew."
I stop and wait for a second. I don't know if I'm hearing things or if I'm dreaming. I turn around, worried that what I just heard was my own heart's illusion, but I guess its not. I look at her, and she locks gazes for a minute, then she runs her hand through her hair, concentrating on a pattern on the floor. I start to move back closer to her. The awkward silence that had been before, came again. And neither one of us knew what to do. It's like that magnetic force with the opposite poles. Opposites attract. Love is stronger. I look at her. Her head was in her hand, holding the hair out of her face. She looked like she had already falling into a deep black hole with no way out. She's holding on, she's trying to hold on, but I know she's not strong enough. I don't expect her to be. I walk up to her, and place my hand on her shoulder. She pushes me away, but I'm not giving up just yet. I try again and I'm met with no resistance. I push the hair out of her face and she looks up at me. I don't know what to read from her. I can't. I delicately pull her in towards me, and her head finds its usual spot on my chest. And she's breathing heavily, shaking.
I stand there holding her for eternity. I was afraid to let her go. I kiss her lightly on the head, but she's not moving. She's zoned out, lost, alone. I just want to be there. I just want to hold her. Nothing else matters to me. She spontaneously pushes me away. She heads back to her room. She doesn't look at me. I don't' understand her anymore. Is there anything I can do to get through to her that I love her? Yeah. I just realized it. I've known it from the first day that I saw her. I love her.
And she hates me.
***PREVIEW***
Sorry the preview is so short, longer next time I promise!
'He starts to laugh, he has this laugh, that is just so I don't know sexy? Can a laugh be sexy? If it can his is. It's deep, and quiet, but not too quiet.'