A Chance Not Taken
Chapter 4
Sirius Black thought he had it all figured out. He had spent the day consulting with his financial advisors, and after wrapping up some last minute housekeeping matters had booked a trip for his family overseas to see the colonies - the United States of America. He had even consulted his wife's supervisor at St. Mungo's to secure leave for Hermione for the duration of their journey. Apparently, her boss was unaware of their problems of trying to conceive another child, and agreed wholeheartedly for Hermione to have an extended leave to create "another miracle of life". Sirius left the hospital in a hopeful mood that this trip will be the answer to their problems. Perhaps during the trip Hermione will rethink her priorities and decide to be a stay at home mother taking care of James and their future newborn. Filled with hope and anticipation, he briskly headed home where he was sure Hermione would be delighted by his foresight and thoughtfulness.
Hermione Black just returned to the Master Bedroom after tucking in James for the evening after reading him a bedtime story. Instead of finding her husband in their bedroom, she found brochures and tickets to the portkey station for the colonies, and smiled at his thoughtfulness. After looking through the package of information left on her vanity table, she realized there was no way she could get leave from the hospital before their departure date. Turning around, she found her husband sitting on the bed looking at her expectantly.
"So, Hermione, what do you think?"
Climbing onto their bed, she hugged him and leaned her head on his broad shoulder while sighing.
"It's wonderful Sirius. Really. But I just don't think St. Mungo's will give me leave on such a short notice. Maybe we can postpone the trip for a couple of months? We've a new shipment of potions coming in next week and they need someone there to check for contaminated batches - " She was hushed by her husband with a long, deep kiss.
"Hush, darling. I've had it all figured out. I've already cleared it with your supervisor. He says there's no problem for you to take some time off while we try to have another baby. It'll be great!" Unbeknownst to the unsuspecting male, Hermione was turning red from embarrassment and anger.
"You.. you did WHAT? How dare you!" Sensing something isn't entirely right here, Sirius was startled to find his usually sweet tempered wife looking like she wants to kill him.
"What do you mean? How dare I what, Hermione? I was only trying to be a thoughtful husband."
Hermione was mentally counting to ten while restraining herself from throttling her husband of five plus years. She could feel her heart pulse through her veins, but realized killing her husband is not an answer.
"Thoughtful? Don't you ever have any tact Sirius? What will my colleagues at St. Mungo's think? Oh, Hermione Black can't handle the stress of working and being a mother, so she gets her husband to get leave to run away on a vacation while real researchers work?" Realizing she probably cannot prevent throttling her husband if she remains in close proximity of his self righteous face, she got off the bed and sat on the loveseat across the room. "Even if I'm not talking about that, how dare you tell them I'm having problems having another baby! Didn't we have James quick enough for you? One time, Sirius! One time was all it took!" Sobbing, she summoned a handkerchief in an effort to wipe the tears from her ashen face.
"I don't understand why you're acting like this. I don't want a world renowned doctor, I want a caring wife and a devoted mother for my son."
Hermione felt as if she had been slapped. Finally, all the years of charades they've been carefully sidestepping have crumbled. She knew deep down Sirius didn't approve of her working at St. Mungos, but she thought he understood her desire to help others and make a difference in the world. But now it is clear he would rather have a trophy wife than what she really is inside.
"It's not the first day you've known me Sirius. You know I could never be like Lavender or Ginny - I'm not happy just puttering around the house. And even if we are going to have another child, that won't automatically turn me to be a Molly Weasley. Why can't you love me for what I am instead of trying to change me?" Getting off the loveseat, she shrugged resignedly and headed towards the door. She had no intention of sleeping in their bed tonight.
A pair of strong arms held her back as she felt her husband hugged her from behind. However, to her it did not feel like a sign of affection. Rather, it was clearly a gesture of being possessed like an object. Struggling to break loose, she knew her attempts were futile as she feel her husband's grip tightened. She would never escape his hold on her this way. Sighing with resignation, she decided not to fight, and just accept this along with her husband's other faults. After all, didn't she promise to love him with all his faults at their binding ceremony years ago?
"Please Hermione, please don't go. I'm sorry you're hurt. I seriously thought it would make you happy taking some time off from your work." Stroking her hair, Sirius looked actually pained, and that self-righteous look was wiped off his now concerned face. Cupping her cheek with his hand, he continued. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do, alright? We can wait, and when the time is right, try to have another baby then." He drew her back into their bed, where he cradled her in his arms. "It's just that sometimes I am so selfish. I keep thinking my happiness will slip away, and my life will be wasted like the time I spent in Azkaban. It is so wrong of me to treat you any less than the treasure that you are. Please, please... forgive me." Burying his head in her shoulder, Sirius cried. Hermione could not bear to hear her husband in pain, and felt affirmed that her decision to marry him was a right one. He has done so much good for the Order, why should he not be happy? And if that means they have another baby, then that's what she'd do.
"It's alright darling... it's over now. We'll go on that trip like you want Sirius. Since you've already got my leave from work, we should go - James will love it." Softly combing through his hair with her hands, she decided she will do no matter what it takes to make him happy.
"Oh Hermione... I love you." Kissing her passionately once more, Sirius held her close before going to sleep. Given what had happened he felt it was better not to try and initiate relations tonight even if he was interested. It was better for his wife to calm down and try to conceive another day.
********************************
Author's notes: Here's Chapter 4... I know there's no Severus in this Chapter, but I felt we need to see the inner relationships of the Blacks before we continue with the drama. Now that I've written the chapter, please do your part and submit a review! Go press that GO! Button. No need to be shy.
And now, without further ado, responses from reviews!
fidda-fletcher: Thanks. I'm glad you like. If you like Angst... stay tuned for more!
Eggnogfanatic: Yes, it was constructive! And I'm working on it. I'm getting in touch with a beta as I finish typing this. If she's willing... I promise the atrocities of horrible grammar will decrease exponentially. I know I shouldn't publish this chapter before getting a beta, but shucks, I'm impatient. Hope this chapter wasn't too unbearable. And thanks for reading. I hope it gets better.
devotcha92: Wow! You reviewed every chapter! I feel so loved - and you think you know the father huh? We'll wait and see. Thanks for reading.
Daintress: I'll try to be ashamed that real life has be otherwise engaged... and yes, I'll try your suggestion next time over my previous chapters. Thanks for your input, and I'll be sure to look over your fics.