Authors Note- Just a few things, first I'm really sorry about the preview. I didn't get one up yesterday, i thought I fixed it but obviously I didn't lol. Anyways there IS one for this chapter, so take a peek. Also I realise some people are not to happy with the way the fic is going, but we do our best, and what kind of fic would it be if it was just happy, happy, happy? Kinda boring to read and write. Another thing, I don't know if I will be able to get an update up tomorrow, its in the air. I have a packed schedule, but I will do my best, just in case I can't I will put another chapter up tonight!
~*~
I walk out the door. I don't know why I always walk away. I always blame her for locking herself up, for running away. And I do the same damn thing. We're both to blame. We're both exactly the same and too blind to see it. I don't want to give up. I can't forget her. Then why the hell do I never manage to tell her those things. It's like a war within myself. I'm thinking the opposite of what I'm saying. I realize I haven't moved from my position against the wall. I could go back in there. I could go back in there and tell her everything. Everything. How I feel. What I want. But I'm afraid to. I'm so scared she's going to reject me, or hurt me. She already has. In so many ways its unbelievable. But I will always go back to her, because she has this magnetic force around her.
I can't stop thinking about her. My days revolve around her, and my nights thinking about her. I've been the happiest man alive with her, and the most miserable person alive without her. If I could only summon enough willpower to tell her this. My feet begin to move, but I'm not asking them to. Their doing it themselves. Great, now my mind has gone insane, and I have no control over anything anymore. I walk back into the lounge, she's still sitting the couch, lunched over, hands covering her face, and her brown hair falling down in front of her eyes. She doesn't look up. I think I might know why. I just refuse to believe she would cry over me. I reluctantly head over to her, not because I don't want to. Just because the fear that I had earlier, it has multiplied about three times. All I hope is she doesn't push me way. Because I wouldn't be able to recover. God why does she have so much control over me?
I walk up closer to her, I'm standing right in front of her. She still hasn't moved. Maybe closed herself off even more. What am I doing back here? Why am I here? I shouldn't be here. I can see her face a little, and her eyes are red and swollen. She cries over Bryce. Not me. I'm nothing to her, right? I take my hand, pushing the strands of hair away from the front of her face, putting them behind her shoulders. She hugs her arms closer around her, and I just stand there for a moment. I don't know what I want to say. I don't know what I want to do. When's that body over mind force when I need it? I take my hand and pull up her chin, so I can see her face. The tears have stopped coming, but the stains still remain on her cheeks from the salt. I crouch down in front of her, since she's so short. My both my hands are both on her legs, she's keeping my balance that way. We meet gazes. She wants to break away so badly. But I don't let her. I can't let her. I lean in for a kiss. Small. Light. Delicate. Passionate. Words we would never say raged through that one kiss. I pull away and slowly get up. She's staring out at space, oblivious to the world around her. We both really don't know what happened. Especially me. I don't know what that was supposed to mean. I wait for her to figure it out, to say something. She doesn't. Neither do I. I start heading back towards the door.
"Wait.."
She quietly says it, unsure of herself. I stop in my spot, but I don't turn around. I hear her walk towards me, and she stands in front of me.
"Don't leave..."
I feel her hands find mine, our finger intertwining. She starts standing on her tip-toes, trying to reach me. I feel her lips lightly brush mine, and she collapses against me.
"I won't."
I run my hands up and down her back, and she just holds on to me tighter.
"Tell me we're gonna be okay..."
I kiss her on her forehead.
"We're gonna be okay."
She pulls away from me a few minutes later, and she straightens herself out.
"We'll talk."
I start to nod my head.
"Tonight."
She confirms it, and I let her go. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what to say. All I know is I can't stop smiling.
~*~
The day flies by, yet it seems to drag at the same time. It's like an opposite duality. All I want to do it go home, to her. Her shift ended an hour before mine, but I had Bryce. He wanted to stay with Alex for a while, so I told her I'd take him home when I left. I grabbed my coat out of my locker, and threw Bryce's at him while he walked in the door.
"Ready to go?"
He zippers his coat and nods his head. I grab the rest of the charts I had just finished to drop them off at the desk on our way out.
"What's up with you tonight?"
Bryce looks at me. Okay so yeah. Maybe I have been acting a bit more enthusiastic and happy today. But it's not exactly my fault. I push him out the door.
"Go."
I roll my eyes at him. He's great. I drop the charts into Susan's lap and start to head off after Bryce. The trip home took shorter than I had originally thought. But maybe that's because I've been thinking about it all day.
We get inside, and Abby quickly rushes Bryce off to bed. He knows something's up. But he doesn't know if its good or bad. And he won't dare say a word. He knows when not to.
We make sure he's gone, and we move towards the living room, shutting the door behind us. I don't know if this could get ugly or not. I hope not. That's the last thing I want to do tonight. She sits down next to me, but still keeping her distance. She's pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her fingers and hugging her arms closer to her body. I hate it when she does that because all it reminds me of is her closing herself off. I grab her hand and she relaxes a bit from her position, but not by much.
"I'm sorry."
How many times do we have to say that to each other. Isn't love never having to say you're sorry? I shake my head.
"Don't be."
She tries to pull her hand back, but I have a good grip on it.
"So what's happening, between us?"
She looks out at the window, as if the answer were written on it.
"I don't know."
We both don't know. It's always going to be like that. We are so unpredictable.
"You've got to talk to me."
She keeps on looking out at nothingness.
"About?"
I suck on my bottom lip for a few seconds.
"Anything and everything that's on your mind."
I watch her shrug her shoulders.
"Then why am I here?"
Rhetorical question. I really didn't want an answer. And I didn't want my voice to come out that stern either.
"Because..."
I wait for her to answer. But she doesn't finish.
"Because what Abby?"
She moves a bit farther away from me.
"Because I don't want to give up."
Silence.
I move in closer and pull her in towards me. She rests her head on my shoulder.
"I need you..."
A barely audible whisper. Barely there. As if it was a dream. But its not. She said it. She actually said it.
She lies against me, no talking. We've said enough. She's tired. Exhausted. I am too. We grab the blanket and throw it over ourselves. We aren't going to fall asleep just yet. And our conversation hadn't ended either. It'll have to wait. For a few more minutes. But actions speak louder than words. And right now, all I can feel is her heart beating in unison with mine.
~~~RESPONSE TO REVIEWS~~~
MrsWyle-... Support Group? Hmmm, I didn't know this story was that addicting hehe, no support group though, not yet at least haha... I'm glad you like it though!
Caitlin-... I'm with you on that, Abby and Ted are annoying right now, but Ted does sound kinda hot!
Honeybear1: Hey, I'm glad you like our story... we try to be different!!!
Sam: Read the next five chapters.
IDontWriteIJustRead: Hehe, your right, but the more heated people get over the story the more intrested they are!!! I'm glad you like the story, and you are right we have it all planned out, and many, hopefully, unexpected twists!!! Keep reading. Thanks for reviewing.
Tilde8884: You won't have to beg....At least not right now. we hope this chapter and the next few fill your carby cravings!!!
Kaitlin: lol we will get back there
smilez4eva: Thanks! Let's hope they get even better!!!!
CamilaC: Aw we love the 'I love you's', they so sweet. Hehe! Maybe next time it will be louder.
CamilaC(Chap 38): Thanks we agree haha, and we love you too!!!! thanks for reviewing!
Nat: DON'T CRY!!!! Don't worry, give it time, all in good time!
erin: I forgot to put the preview in, but I edited it and put it in there, so it should be there now, not that you need it anymore lol. I was in a rush for that one. Never again though, promise lol. Thanks for reviewing, glad you liked it.
Ashley: Ted? Whose Ted? Don't worry....
kj: Carby what you want, Carby what you get!
jamielyn: Sorry we lost you! We do our best, sorry its too depressing. Maybe you will read the next couple of chapters and like them.
Amanda: Here you go!!!
carbylobsterandavrilfan: Thanks we LOVE writing Carby!
***PREVIEW***
"Can we-" He looks down at me, "Can we start over." I look him in the eye, a small smile spreads across his face. "Yeah, yeah we can." He intertwines my fingers with his. "Slow." He sighs, "We will go slow."
~*~
I walk out the door. I don't know why I always walk away. I always blame her for locking herself up, for running away. And I do the same damn thing. We're both to blame. We're both exactly the same and too blind to see it. I don't want to give up. I can't forget her. Then why the hell do I never manage to tell her those things. It's like a war within myself. I'm thinking the opposite of what I'm saying. I realize I haven't moved from my position against the wall. I could go back in there. I could go back in there and tell her everything. Everything. How I feel. What I want. But I'm afraid to. I'm so scared she's going to reject me, or hurt me. She already has. In so many ways its unbelievable. But I will always go back to her, because she has this magnetic force around her.
I can't stop thinking about her. My days revolve around her, and my nights thinking about her. I've been the happiest man alive with her, and the most miserable person alive without her. If I could only summon enough willpower to tell her this. My feet begin to move, but I'm not asking them to. Their doing it themselves. Great, now my mind has gone insane, and I have no control over anything anymore. I walk back into the lounge, she's still sitting the couch, lunched over, hands covering her face, and her brown hair falling down in front of her eyes. She doesn't look up. I think I might know why. I just refuse to believe she would cry over me. I reluctantly head over to her, not because I don't want to. Just because the fear that I had earlier, it has multiplied about three times. All I hope is she doesn't push me way. Because I wouldn't be able to recover. God why does she have so much control over me?
I walk up closer to her, I'm standing right in front of her. She still hasn't moved. Maybe closed herself off even more. What am I doing back here? Why am I here? I shouldn't be here. I can see her face a little, and her eyes are red and swollen. She cries over Bryce. Not me. I'm nothing to her, right? I take my hand, pushing the strands of hair away from the front of her face, putting them behind her shoulders. She hugs her arms closer around her, and I just stand there for a moment. I don't know what I want to say. I don't know what I want to do. When's that body over mind force when I need it? I take my hand and pull up her chin, so I can see her face. The tears have stopped coming, but the stains still remain on her cheeks from the salt. I crouch down in front of her, since she's so short. My both my hands are both on her legs, she's keeping my balance that way. We meet gazes. She wants to break away so badly. But I don't let her. I can't let her. I lean in for a kiss. Small. Light. Delicate. Passionate. Words we would never say raged through that one kiss. I pull away and slowly get up. She's staring out at space, oblivious to the world around her. We both really don't know what happened. Especially me. I don't know what that was supposed to mean. I wait for her to figure it out, to say something. She doesn't. Neither do I. I start heading back towards the door.
"Wait.."
She quietly says it, unsure of herself. I stop in my spot, but I don't turn around. I hear her walk towards me, and she stands in front of me.
"Don't leave..."
I feel her hands find mine, our finger intertwining. She starts standing on her tip-toes, trying to reach me. I feel her lips lightly brush mine, and she collapses against me.
"I won't."
I run my hands up and down her back, and she just holds on to me tighter.
"Tell me we're gonna be okay..."
I kiss her on her forehead.
"We're gonna be okay."
She pulls away from me a few minutes later, and she straightens herself out.
"We'll talk."
I start to nod my head.
"Tonight."
She confirms it, and I let her go. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what to say. All I know is I can't stop smiling.
~*~
The day flies by, yet it seems to drag at the same time. It's like an opposite duality. All I want to do it go home, to her. Her shift ended an hour before mine, but I had Bryce. He wanted to stay with Alex for a while, so I told her I'd take him home when I left. I grabbed my coat out of my locker, and threw Bryce's at him while he walked in the door.
"Ready to go?"
He zippers his coat and nods his head. I grab the rest of the charts I had just finished to drop them off at the desk on our way out.
"What's up with you tonight?"
Bryce looks at me. Okay so yeah. Maybe I have been acting a bit more enthusiastic and happy today. But it's not exactly my fault. I push him out the door.
"Go."
I roll my eyes at him. He's great. I drop the charts into Susan's lap and start to head off after Bryce. The trip home took shorter than I had originally thought. But maybe that's because I've been thinking about it all day.
We get inside, and Abby quickly rushes Bryce off to bed. He knows something's up. But he doesn't know if its good or bad. And he won't dare say a word. He knows when not to.
We make sure he's gone, and we move towards the living room, shutting the door behind us. I don't know if this could get ugly or not. I hope not. That's the last thing I want to do tonight. She sits down next to me, but still keeping her distance. She's pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her fingers and hugging her arms closer to her body. I hate it when she does that because all it reminds me of is her closing herself off. I grab her hand and she relaxes a bit from her position, but not by much.
"I'm sorry."
How many times do we have to say that to each other. Isn't love never having to say you're sorry? I shake my head.
"Don't be."
She tries to pull her hand back, but I have a good grip on it.
"So what's happening, between us?"
She looks out at the window, as if the answer were written on it.
"I don't know."
We both don't know. It's always going to be like that. We are so unpredictable.
"You've got to talk to me."
She keeps on looking out at nothingness.
"About?"
I suck on my bottom lip for a few seconds.
"Anything and everything that's on your mind."
I watch her shrug her shoulders.
"Then why am I here?"
Rhetorical question. I really didn't want an answer. And I didn't want my voice to come out that stern either.
"Because..."
I wait for her to answer. But she doesn't finish.
"Because what Abby?"
She moves a bit farther away from me.
"Because I don't want to give up."
Silence.
I move in closer and pull her in towards me. She rests her head on my shoulder.
"I need you..."
A barely audible whisper. Barely there. As if it was a dream. But its not. She said it. She actually said it.
She lies against me, no talking. We've said enough. She's tired. Exhausted. I am too. We grab the blanket and throw it over ourselves. We aren't going to fall asleep just yet. And our conversation hadn't ended either. It'll have to wait. For a few more minutes. But actions speak louder than words. And right now, all I can feel is her heart beating in unison with mine.
~~~RESPONSE TO REVIEWS~~~
MrsWyle-... Support Group? Hmmm, I didn't know this story was that addicting hehe, no support group though, not yet at least haha... I'm glad you like it though!
Caitlin-... I'm with you on that, Abby and Ted are annoying right now, but Ted does sound kinda hot!
Honeybear1: Hey, I'm glad you like our story... we try to be different!!!
Sam: Read the next five chapters.
IDontWriteIJustRead: Hehe, your right, but the more heated people get over the story the more intrested they are!!! I'm glad you like the story, and you are right we have it all planned out, and many, hopefully, unexpected twists!!! Keep reading. Thanks for reviewing.
Tilde8884: You won't have to beg....At least not right now. we hope this chapter and the next few fill your carby cravings!!!
Kaitlin: lol we will get back there
smilez4eva: Thanks! Let's hope they get even better!!!!
CamilaC: Aw we love the 'I love you's', they so sweet. Hehe! Maybe next time it will be louder.
CamilaC(Chap 38): Thanks we agree haha, and we love you too!!!! thanks for reviewing!
Nat: DON'T CRY!!!! Don't worry, give it time, all in good time!
erin: I forgot to put the preview in, but I edited it and put it in there, so it should be there now, not that you need it anymore lol. I was in a rush for that one. Never again though, promise lol. Thanks for reviewing, glad you liked it.
Ashley: Ted? Whose Ted? Don't worry....
kj: Carby what you want, Carby what you get!
jamielyn: Sorry we lost you! We do our best, sorry its too depressing. Maybe you will read the next couple of chapters and like them.
Amanda: Here you go!!!
carbylobsterandavrilfan: Thanks we LOVE writing Carby!
***PREVIEW***
"Can we-" He looks down at me, "Can we start over." I look him in the eye, a small smile spreads across his face. "Yeah, yeah we can." He intertwines my fingers with his. "Slow." He sighs, "We will go slow."