Chapter 39

While You Were, uh, Sleeping

At Harry's question, both Ron and Hermione looked at him and then at each other. Neither of them said anything for a long minute. Finally, Ron spoke up.

"Hogwarts is . . . strange, Harry. That's the only word for it, I'd say."

"Strange? Strange how?" Ron seemed unable to explain further, just opening his mouth and shutting it again. Harry had a churning in his stomach. He remembered how the year before Hogwarts had not seemed like itself because of Umbridge. He hoped things were not that bad. But it had only been three weeks. How bad could it be? Harry looked at Hermione, hoping that she could elaborate more.

"Strange how, Hermione?" For another long moment, no one said anything. Then,

"Well, I guess it's several things, really. First, of course, is the fact that you are, uh, were, uh, we thought you were . . .dead. It was strange being there without you, Harry." Her voice broke a little and Ron reached over and took her hand. Harry tried not to feel guilty but didn't succeed. "Anyway. We missed you, of course, terribly. And lots of people missed you." Harry snorted in response to this. He had friends there, of course, but he felt like most people at the school thought he was more bother than he was worth. He supposed he was, really. "I'm serious. People were . . . shocked, I guess, that it had finally . . . happened."

"She's right. Even people that normally didn't really care for you much were a little out of sorts."

"Yeah, people would look at either Ron or me and just start crying."

Ron laughed but it sounded forced. "I got so I was carrying around tissue all the time to offer the blubbering . . . ." He couldn't go on and he suddenly found another interesting place to study on the ceiling. "I guess we reminded people that you weren't there anymore, and I . . . . was starting to get a complex, Harry." He tried to take refuge in humor but Harry sensed the desolation of loss underneath it and looked away. He remembered what it was like to lose . . . well. He didn't want to go there. After a moment, Harry turned back to his friends but he was grateful for Cassie's sitting next to him on the couch. She didn't say anything but her hand was still on his leg and he reached down and grabbed it.

"Anyway, the first few days were kind of like . . . you had just gone away or maybe were in the hospital wing or something. We're kind of used to that so it wasn't so bad." Hermione had taken over the narrative. Ron didn't seem able to continue. "But then."

"Then, what?"

"They had a funeral for you."

"Oh."

"It was the worst thing I've ever . . . ."

Anger flared suddenly in Ron again and he stood up and started pacing. Harry thought he might possibly put his fist through a wall. He certainly wouldn't have complained.

"How could he have sat there? Sat there and let us . . . . He cried! We all . . .cried! And he could have fixed it, couldn't he?" Harry didn't need to ask who "he" was. Dumbledore. "I'll never forgive him for this, never!" Ron was fingering his wand, now, and Harry could feel the waves of frustration even from across the room. "You should have heard him, Harry! Going on and on about how brave you were and how . . . ."

Cassie interrupted and Harry jumped. He had forgotten she was there for a minute. "I bet it wasn't easy for him either, Ron." She spoke calmly but it didn't help. Ron just rounded on her.

"Fat lot you know about anything. You were here . . . . You were with him! You didn't have to imagine him . . . ."

Fortunately, Cassie knew how to defend herself and was not about to be defeated in this argument. "You're right! I don't know anything about these people or your school or anything. I only know Harry! And I know that some crazy person is trying to kill him and if this saves his life for real then it seems to me that it's worth it all! Tell me I'm wrong!"

Ron just stared at her for a minute and then, unexpectedly, he grinned. "You remind me a lot of my sister. You've got guts!" He sat down again by Hermione and seemed calmer, at least for a moment. "But I'm serious about not forgiving him."

"Ron, honestly." Hermione knew that Ron didn't mean it, not really. She just patted his arm. Another long silence filled the room as each of them grappled with their own thoughts. "Speaking of Ginny, Harry . . . ."

"Yeah?" Harry wasn't sure he wanted to get into this subject. Ginny. Oh, Gods. Their story was so complicated. But then, nothing was ever simple for him, was it?

"She didn't handle it well at all."

"Well, I guess . . . ."

"She told me that she just felt so bad about everything you two had said to each other the last time she had seen you. She said that she wished she could see you again and take it all back."

"Oh." They had fought. Harry couldn't even remember what had started the argument. Oh, yeah. He had asked her out on a date and she had turned him down. She had said something about the fact that he had finally woken up but now she wasn't interested anymore. He had accused her of lying. She had slapped him.

"I'm only telling you this because I know she'd want me to. Just in case . . . .Well, you know."

"Yeah." He knew all right. He knew exactly. In case he died, again, fighting Voldemort, again.

"She really loves you, Harry. She never stopped, you know."

He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice although he tried. "Funny way of showing it."

"Well, I think she was afraid, Harry."

"Afraid of what? Of me?"

"No. Afraid of . . . Oh, this sounds silly, but I'll just say it. . . Afraid that if she allowed herself to admit that she still loved you, you would reject her again. It's almost a conditioned response for her, now. And honestly, I can't say I blame her. She wouldn't be able to pass it off as a childhood crush anymore. She'd have to admit that she really . . . .loves you and that you don't want her. She needed time to face that."

"But I told her that I . . ."

"I know. Look, I can't speak for her. You need to talk to her about this. I'm just passing on what she told me she would say if she could ever see you again. I won't mention it again to you."

Ron broke in, suddenly. "She had a breakdown."

"What?!" Harry almost jumped out of his chair and attacked Ron for daring to say such a thing about Ginny. It just couldn't be true.

"She took that dreamless sleep draught in the hospital wing for about a week. She couldn't come to the funeral. I think Madam Pomfrey was afraid it might be the end of her. She couldn't stop crying for days afterward. I think they finally offered to modify her memory of your fight, but she refused. After that, she pulled herself together. I guess that she was afraid they might do it without her knowing if she didn't get herself straightened out."

"Is she better now?" Harry couldn't believe this. Ginny was strong, a powerful witch, and she had, as Ron had said, guts. He couldn't imagine her all weepy and hysterical.



"She's still . . . .Well, the sun comes up every morning, doesn't it, Harry? Even when you don't want it to."

"Yeah, it does." Harry wanted to cry, desperately wanted to just break down into sobs. He had known that they were all hurting. He had known that they would miss him. But somehow, seeing their raw grief now made him remember all the agony he had gone through last year, well, and the year before that. His heart ached and it took every bit of self-control he had to force the tears back. His throat hurt but he ignored it. There would be time for this later. He could cry in bed tonight if he still wanted to. "So, is more weird stuff going on or is it just that my sparkling personality is gone?" He tried for humor. It failed but both Ron and Hermione forced a smile on their faces and pretended.

"No. Your funeral was like - I'm not sure how to describe it. It was like a dam burst or something." Hermione was thinking hard, now, trying to find the words.

"It was a dam bursting in reverse," Ron said. "Instead of a flood of things coming at you, everything left."

"Yeah, he's right. That's a good way to put it."

"I don't understand."

"Everyone was frightened. All the students, all the parents. The Daily Prophet had articles in every issue about how if Voldemort could kill Harry Potter than no one is safe. I remember one headline, 'His Power Is Unstoppable Now!' How did they really expect people to react?"

"But Hogwarts is safe - the safest place in Britain!"

"It's also a target because of Dumbledore. Let's face it, Harry. With you gone, there's only one thing that stands in his way and that is Dumbledore. He's almost certainly the next big target."

"But, what about the Ministry and the Order and everything?"

"Of course. The Ministry is a target and that's where the battle is supposed to take place tomorrow. Everyone is certain that You-Know-, uh, Voldemort wants to kill Fudge and take over there. That would make getting rid of Dumbledore a lot easier."

"What Ministry are you talking about?" There was fear in Cassie's voice and Harry released her hand to put his arm around her instead.

"It's nothing to do with your father, Cassie. It's the Ministry of Magic. It's the Wizard government."

"There's a Ministry of Magic? That's crazy!"

"That's exactly what I thought the first time. But it's true. Ron's dad works there." Cassie just shook her head rather thoughtfully.

"So what happened to the students? They left?" This seemed unthinkable to Harry.

"Uh-huh. Some immediately. I think even before exams were over." Hermione gave a little sniff in disgust and Harry had to chuckle under his breath. That was, in her opinion, an unforgivable thing.

"And since they've ended . . . Well, more are gone every day. Like I said earlier, the Death Eaters have spies in the school . . . ."

"Slytherins."

"It seems so. Most of them are still around. But anyway, they are trying to keep track of where all the people likely to fight tomorrow are right now. So, everything's just a mess. And that doesn't even take into account the missing teachers."

"The professors . . . . They're leaving, too?"

"Yes. It's unbelievable. I had to take two exams early - before I was ready -- because the professor wanted to leave. I'd have never believed that they'd desert the school that way."

"Is it defenseless, then?"

"Well, there's always been a few of the strong ones left, but even now . . . ."

"What about the ones in the Order?"

"Oh, they've been gone for ages!"

"What?!!!"

"They were some of the first to go."

"But where are they going? They must be helping with the Order."

"I don't know, Harry. They don't exactly check in with us when they take off. We just don't see them again."

"How do you know they aren't being captured?"

"Dumbledore never said anything. He just . . . ignored it, I guess. Oh, wait. Snape's still there."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Ron just shrugged at Harry's sarcasm.

"Just seems unlikely that it would be Order business, doesn't it? If the slimy git is still around?" Ron's opinion of Snape was very similar to Harry's. Harry still couldn't forgive him for last year. Logically, he knew that it wasn't his fault but in his heart he still hated the man. The feeling was certainly mutual.

"You'll be proud, though, Harry. The D.A. is still intact. No one has left. They want to stay and defend the school if it becomes necessary."

"Great. But school ends in just a few days and then they'll be going home for summer holidays." Harry had trained these students in defense against the dark arts as a way of rebelling against Umbridge. They were good at spells and curses and counter-curses now. They would certainly be powerful in a fight. He had fought with them once before and they had proved to be very useful.

"But most of us don't think the school will be attacked then."

"Why not?"

"It's just an empty castle in the summer. What's the point of taking it?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Again, everyone sat quietly for a moment, just absorbed in their own thoughts. Harry just had one final question. "So, Dumbledore sent you to get me. That's fine. I just thought he would come himself, you know."

"Uh, yeah. I think he probably would have come . . . ."

"He probably planned to come himself. I think we were kind of his, um, back up plan."

"What are you talking about? It sounds like Dumbledore is . . . .Wait! He's not dead or anything is he?"

"We're not exactly sure where he is, Harry. He's just . . . . gone."

"Gone? Where did he go?"

"We don't know, Harry. I have to say it again. He didn't tell us."

"But then, how did you know where I was?"

"I think he realized it was possible that something bad could happen to him and so . . . ." Hermione noticed the panic on Harry's face and clarified. "I'm not saying that it has happened now. We're not really sure, it's just that. . . ." She stumbled around a bit and finally Ron broke in.

"We met with him every day at 4. At first it was just somewhere we could go and not be stared at by everybody else but then it kind of evolved into times when we talked about you. And then it started being sort of planning sessions, I guess, about the War. I, at least, felt proud that he trusted us." His face hardened. Harry imagined that Ron felt like he had been played for a fool. Harry was quite sure this was not the case, but Ron had issues about this sort of thing. Harry tried to move the conversation forward.

"So this has to do with me because . . . .?"

"Oh, well, about a week ago . . ."

"Was it only a week because I could have sworn it was Saturday?"

"No I thought it was Monday. I had just come from class, I think."

"I remember thinking that it would have been a good Hogsmeade day."

"DOES IT MATTER?" Harry caught himself quickly. He hated being in that yelling mode and had managed to avoid it so far in the insanity, but now he thought it was only appropriate.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Ron picked up the narrative again. "About a week ago, during the meeting, he told us that if one time he didn't show up, then we were to . . ."

"We were supposed to wait one full hour and if he never came, by 5, then we were supposed to take your invisibility cloak . . . "

"And the address . . ."

"And the portkey . . ."

"And bring back whatever was there exactly 24 hours later."

"So he didn't tell you it was me?" This made sense to Harry now.

"No, not at all. Not even that it was a person."

"I kind of assumed it was some sort of, uh, weapon." Hermione nodded at Ron's words.

"So, tonight we went to the meeting and there was no Dumbledore and we waited and waited. Finally, it was 5 and we grabbed the portkey and came. We didn't know what to expect. We knew the place would be Fidelius charmed, of course. That was obvious from the parchment."

"I didn't think it was that obvious." Ron said truthfully. Hermione just raised her eyebrows.

"I just can't figure out why he didn't give us the password. Are you sure he knew it?"

"Well of course he knew it. I don't know how to set passwords. Do you?" Ron shook his head. They had long ago discussed that this was a bit of magic they didn't teach at Hogwarts, otherwise total chaos would result as students played pranks on each other's houses and on their professors by resetting all of the portrait passwords. That had been only two years ago. To Harry, it felt like he had aged 50 years since then.

"I know how. It's not that tricky." Both Harry and Ron rolled their eyes. "It's not, but I see your point."

'Maybe he forgot about the doorbell and the stupid password." Harry offered this up as an option.

"It seems to me. . . ." Cassie suddenly said, "that it was protection for Harry." Three sets of eyes turned to her in amazement. "Well, if you knew where to come but not what you would find, then that was a protection for him because you couldn't tell anyone else. And if someone else took the, uh, portkey to get here, they couldn't . . . see the house because they wouldn't have the paper with the address on it. And if they took the key thing and the paper and got here anyway, they still couldn't get in the house because they wouldn't know the, uh, secret password. Harry would have to recognize the person and let them in voluntarily. He would, of course, know you two and trust you. But if it had been someone else . . . . someone that wasn't supposed to be here, then he just wouldn't open the door."

"You're bloody brilliant, Cassie. She's right. I'm sure she's right."

Harry felt a surge of pride at her observations. She was bloody brilliant. He tightened his grip on her hand and smiled at her. She smiled back. For a few moments, no one said anything else. Then Harry said, "So we leave tomorrow at 5, but where are we going?"

"We don't really know for sure. But I'm fairly positive it will be to the Ministry. That's where the fighting will be." Harry nodded. That made sense.

"Okay. We can talk more about this tomorrow. I'm sure everyone is tired. I know I am. We all need to . . . . "

Cassie suddenly jumped up. "It's almost 9! I've got to call my parents! I bet they've already tried to call me at home a few times. Oh, this is terrible! I still don't know what I'm going to say."

"Just tell them that you're being protected by three very strong wizards and that they don't need to worry." Ron thought he was very funny, obviously, and started laughing loudly. No one else even smiled. Cassie dug around in her purse for a minute and pulled out a piece of paper.

"So you're not sure if this phone actually works, Harry?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Great. I'm really excited to be the guinea pig. Now, you all be quiet because I'm going to have to talk fast and furious. If you're laughing in the background, it just won't work." She picked up the phone and dialed like she was scheduling her own execution. A moment later, "Hi, Mum. It's me."