6th - Good Advice
There wasn't much said for the next two weeks. Everyone went about their duties, and no one spoke much.
Toni stayed to herself, and everyone granted her the isolation.
She sent and received a letter from her sister which she read quietly.
Toni,
I miss you so much. Teaching is fun, but it takes a lot out of you. Not as much as working in the Army, though I assume.
I'm sorry about Edward, and Jack. Who knows, maybe you'll run into Quinn sometime in the future. I think that you should talk to someone you trust about what happened. That's the problem, I think. You didn't talk to anyone, not even me. The same with Rebekka. I'm not going to tell you what to do, you're old enough now to work things out on your own. All I'll do is give you advice, and I think you definitely need to get it out in the open. I know what you're thinking, how can I? and what if they tell others? But isn't it worth the risk? You have a chance to start over, make new friends.
That's something you've always had trouble with, but BJ, Hawkeye and Mulcahy all seem trustworthy enough.
I wish you luck in whatever you decide, and hope all else goes well with you in the future. Yvette
P.S. I'm glad you've kept up the training. God knows you'll probably need it sometime in your life.
Toni reread the letter and sighed.
She knew Yvette had a point, and now that Hawkeye had stopped asking she had almost wanted to tell him, but unsure of how to go about it.
Maybe I should just get Klinger to yell it over the PA system. She thought, lying on her bed.
"Hey Toni, can I come in?" Hawkeye yelled from outside her tent.
She sat up. "What are you, telepathic or something?" She demanded as the door swung open.
"No, I just thought you might want some company. You've been keeping to yourself." He glanced onto her desk. "Any mail?" He asked.
"Yes. A letter from my sister."
"Good news?"
She smiled. "Just good advice." She looked into his eyes. "How well can you keep a secret?" She asked quietly.
He returned the gaze, and sat down on the bunk opposite Toni's. "Very well, why do you ask?"
"Have you got time right now?" She asked him.
He nodded silently.
"It was four years ago. Me and a friend, Rebekka, were walking home from a party. We didn't drink, mind you, it was just bad atmosphere, and everyone else was getting high, so we left at about three am. We were about two blocks from her house, we'd agreed that I'd sleep there that night when we ran into four guys. They beat us up pretty bad, and one of them tried to raped Rebekka. Some guys I don't know helped us, and got rid of them. We have kept in contact, but anyway, about a week after that Rebekka committed suicide. There isn't much else to say, really." She looked down and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Since then I haven't been able to trust anyone, especially males. I guess joining the Army was a way for me to make a new start and find new friends. But I didn't count on Maxwell being here."
"What does Klinger have to do with anything?" Hawkeye asked quietly.
She looked up at him. "Rebekka was his sister."
---
Hawkeye didn't know what to say. Klinger had never mentioned a sister, and to the best of his knowledge he'd never even received grief counselling.
"I don't know what to say." He admitted. "I'm not a counsellor."
"I know. That's why I could tell you. Rebekka never told anyone except for family what had happened, she never spoke to a counsellor. I thought I was over the whole ordeal, but working here with Maxwell has brought back the memories." She wiped her eyes again, and Hawkeye passed her a handkerchief.
"Thanks." She whispered. "It was her sword. She gave me one for me fifteenth birthday, and taught me how to use it. No one else in her family knew how to use a sword, and she willed it to me before she died. I left my one back in Toledo. Where I'm from." She bit her lip, but was unable to control the flood of tears that overwhelmed her. "That's I bought those knives, so if I'm ever in that position I won't be taken advantage of like Rebekka was. Ever since then my one fear in life was being raped. Death doesn't scare me anymore."
Hawkeye didn't reply, but came over and hugged her. "I'll never let anything happen to you." He whispered, and she fell asleep crying in his arms.
---
"Toni!"
She was standing in a long corridor with hundreds of doors on either side. "Rebekka?" She called, moving faster down the corridor, searching for her friend.
A door opened, and Rebekka came out, holding her sword. "You let me down." She whispered. Tears streamed down Toni's face. "I didn't mean it. You didn't tell anyone. What was I supposed to do?"
"You lets us all down." Rebekka raised the sword, and thrust it straight into Toni's heart.
All Toni could do was watch as the life poured out of her body.
Suddenly she seemed to be floating in empty space, her body turned into energy, and she was forced to watch as she dissipated and the energy that was her life disappeared.
Gasping she sat up in her bed, shivering in a cold sweat.
"Shit." She hissed, standing shakily.
"Bad dream?" A voice asked.
She spun around to see a dark shape sitting on the other bed, watching her.
She had a knife in each hand before she recognised the voice. "Pierce?" She demanded. "What are you doing in here?"
He chuckled quietly. "Making sure you sleep alright."
"Believe me, I'll sleep much better knowing there are no males in my tent." She said, pulling on a black dressing gown quickly.
"I wanted to make sure for myself." He countered, staying on the bed. "Where are you going?" He asked.
"Somewhere I can get privacy. Since I can't get that in my own tent do you know anywhere else I can find some?"
"Not when I'm around."
Toni rolled her eyes. "Makes sense. If you're around nothing's private."
"What happened?" He asked.
"What?"
"What happened in the dream?"
She sat back down on her still-warm bed. "Honestly, none of your business. And that little bedtime story I told you? If anyone else hears about it I will kill you."
Judging from the glint in her eye that Hawkeye could see despite the darkness he didn't doubt her for a moment.
"So what happens now?" He asked her.
"How about you leave?"
He shook his head. "Not an option."
"Why not?"
"I'm your doctor. There's something wrong with you. Until you're cured I do not leave."
"There is nothing wrong with me!" She protested.
Hawkeye sighed. "If I believed you I'd leave." He informed her.
She sat against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest.
"Look, do you want to talk to Sid?"
"Who's he?" Toni asked suspiciously.
Hawkeye paused. "A psychiatrist."
Toni frowned. "Do you really think that's necessary?" She asked softly.
"Even if it's just to talk about your dreams, I think maybe you should. You're obviously loosing sleep over them."
"I'll think about it." She promised.
Hawkeye smiled. "That's all I want to hear. You may as well go back to sleep."
"Not while you're watching me I won't."
He laughed. "What if I turn around until you start snoring?" "I do not snore!"
"You do."
"Do not!"
"Do too."
They both stared at each other, then burst out laughing.
Hawkeye pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket. "Here, I brought these because I knew once you were awake you'd refuse to go back to sleep."
"I'm not in the mood for poker. How about memory?" Toni suggested.
Her door opened, and a gust of cold air came into the tent. "Can I play too?" BJ asked, with Potter right behind him.
Toni laughed again, shaking her head. If every night was like this she just might enjoy the rest of her time at 4077.
Klinger sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What is that noise?" He muttered to himself, getting up. He stepped outside and followed the sounds to Corporal White's tent.
Should I go in or not? He wondered. Finally he knocked on the door.
"Come on in!" She called over the others.
He opened the door and walked in.
Everyone stopped talking suddenly, and all eyes were on him and Toni. "Can I play?" He asked finally.
---
She nodded slowly.
"Of course you can, Klinger. Pull up a chair." BJ replied cheerfully.
Hawkeye watched Toni out of the corner of his eye. The noise level soon went back to normal, and he moved to sit next to her. "You okay?" He asked quietly.
"Yes, I just didn't expect-"
"What is going on in here?" A voice demanded from the door.
Hawkeye smiled. "Ah, Charles. You decided to join us. And you brought us a nurse, too, how nice of you." He turned to Margaret. "How are you Major Houlihan?"
"You men should be asleep!" She retorted.
"Am I invisible?" Toni asked Hawkeye loudly. "I could have sworn you just called me male. I'll pretend you didn't, as soon as you either join the fun or leave in silence, Majors."
Houlihan looked at her haughtily, the turned and stalked out, followed by Charles.
"That wasn't very nice." Hawkeye said, twinkle in his eyes.
Toni shrugged. "I know." She laid down the cards. "Who's playing this one?"
Everyone; BJ, Hawkeye, Potter, Klinger and Pierce all joined in.
Soon everyone was laughing, and for the first time in her life Toni felt like she fit in.
There wasn't much said for the next two weeks. Everyone went about their duties, and no one spoke much.
Toni stayed to herself, and everyone granted her the isolation.
She sent and received a letter from her sister which she read quietly.
Toni,
I miss you so much. Teaching is fun, but it takes a lot out of you. Not as much as working in the Army, though I assume.
I'm sorry about Edward, and Jack. Who knows, maybe you'll run into Quinn sometime in the future. I think that you should talk to someone you trust about what happened. That's the problem, I think. You didn't talk to anyone, not even me. The same with Rebekka. I'm not going to tell you what to do, you're old enough now to work things out on your own. All I'll do is give you advice, and I think you definitely need to get it out in the open. I know what you're thinking, how can I? and what if they tell others? But isn't it worth the risk? You have a chance to start over, make new friends.
That's something you've always had trouble with, but BJ, Hawkeye and Mulcahy all seem trustworthy enough.
I wish you luck in whatever you decide, and hope all else goes well with you in the future. Yvette
P.S. I'm glad you've kept up the training. God knows you'll probably need it sometime in your life.
Toni reread the letter and sighed.
She knew Yvette had a point, and now that Hawkeye had stopped asking she had almost wanted to tell him, but unsure of how to go about it.
Maybe I should just get Klinger to yell it over the PA system. She thought, lying on her bed.
"Hey Toni, can I come in?" Hawkeye yelled from outside her tent.
She sat up. "What are you, telepathic or something?" She demanded as the door swung open.
"No, I just thought you might want some company. You've been keeping to yourself." He glanced onto her desk. "Any mail?" He asked.
"Yes. A letter from my sister."
"Good news?"
She smiled. "Just good advice." She looked into his eyes. "How well can you keep a secret?" She asked quietly.
He returned the gaze, and sat down on the bunk opposite Toni's. "Very well, why do you ask?"
"Have you got time right now?" She asked him.
He nodded silently.
"It was four years ago. Me and a friend, Rebekka, were walking home from a party. We didn't drink, mind you, it was just bad atmosphere, and everyone else was getting high, so we left at about three am. We were about two blocks from her house, we'd agreed that I'd sleep there that night when we ran into four guys. They beat us up pretty bad, and one of them tried to raped Rebekka. Some guys I don't know helped us, and got rid of them. We have kept in contact, but anyway, about a week after that Rebekka committed suicide. There isn't much else to say, really." She looked down and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Since then I haven't been able to trust anyone, especially males. I guess joining the Army was a way for me to make a new start and find new friends. But I didn't count on Maxwell being here."
"What does Klinger have to do with anything?" Hawkeye asked quietly.
She looked up at him. "Rebekka was his sister."
---
Hawkeye didn't know what to say. Klinger had never mentioned a sister, and to the best of his knowledge he'd never even received grief counselling.
"I don't know what to say." He admitted. "I'm not a counsellor."
"I know. That's why I could tell you. Rebekka never told anyone except for family what had happened, she never spoke to a counsellor. I thought I was over the whole ordeal, but working here with Maxwell has brought back the memories." She wiped her eyes again, and Hawkeye passed her a handkerchief.
"Thanks." She whispered. "It was her sword. She gave me one for me fifteenth birthday, and taught me how to use it. No one else in her family knew how to use a sword, and she willed it to me before she died. I left my one back in Toledo. Where I'm from." She bit her lip, but was unable to control the flood of tears that overwhelmed her. "That's I bought those knives, so if I'm ever in that position I won't be taken advantage of like Rebekka was. Ever since then my one fear in life was being raped. Death doesn't scare me anymore."
Hawkeye didn't reply, but came over and hugged her. "I'll never let anything happen to you." He whispered, and she fell asleep crying in his arms.
---
"Toni!"
She was standing in a long corridor with hundreds of doors on either side. "Rebekka?" She called, moving faster down the corridor, searching for her friend.
A door opened, and Rebekka came out, holding her sword. "You let me down." She whispered. Tears streamed down Toni's face. "I didn't mean it. You didn't tell anyone. What was I supposed to do?"
"You lets us all down." Rebekka raised the sword, and thrust it straight into Toni's heart.
All Toni could do was watch as the life poured out of her body.
Suddenly she seemed to be floating in empty space, her body turned into energy, and she was forced to watch as she dissipated and the energy that was her life disappeared.
Gasping she sat up in her bed, shivering in a cold sweat.
"Shit." She hissed, standing shakily.
"Bad dream?" A voice asked.
She spun around to see a dark shape sitting on the other bed, watching her.
She had a knife in each hand before she recognised the voice. "Pierce?" She demanded. "What are you doing in here?"
He chuckled quietly. "Making sure you sleep alright."
"Believe me, I'll sleep much better knowing there are no males in my tent." She said, pulling on a black dressing gown quickly.
"I wanted to make sure for myself." He countered, staying on the bed. "Where are you going?" He asked.
"Somewhere I can get privacy. Since I can't get that in my own tent do you know anywhere else I can find some?"
"Not when I'm around."
Toni rolled her eyes. "Makes sense. If you're around nothing's private."
"What happened?" He asked.
"What?"
"What happened in the dream?"
She sat back down on her still-warm bed. "Honestly, none of your business. And that little bedtime story I told you? If anyone else hears about it I will kill you."
Judging from the glint in her eye that Hawkeye could see despite the darkness he didn't doubt her for a moment.
"So what happens now?" He asked her.
"How about you leave?"
He shook his head. "Not an option."
"Why not?"
"I'm your doctor. There's something wrong with you. Until you're cured I do not leave."
"There is nothing wrong with me!" She protested.
Hawkeye sighed. "If I believed you I'd leave." He informed her.
She sat against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest.
"Look, do you want to talk to Sid?"
"Who's he?" Toni asked suspiciously.
Hawkeye paused. "A psychiatrist."
Toni frowned. "Do you really think that's necessary?" She asked softly.
"Even if it's just to talk about your dreams, I think maybe you should. You're obviously loosing sleep over them."
"I'll think about it." She promised.
Hawkeye smiled. "That's all I want to hear. You may as well go back to sleep."
"Not while you're watching me I won't."
He laughed. "What if I turn around until you start snoring?" "I do not snore!"
"You do."
"Do not!"
"Do too."
They both stared at each other, then burst out laughing.
Hawkeye pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket. "Here, I brought these because I knew once you were awake you'd refuse to go back to sleep."
"I'm not in the mood for poker. How about memory?" Toni suggested.
Her door opened, and a gust of cold air came into the tent. "Can I play too?" BJ asked, with Potter right behind him.
Toni laughed again, shaking her head. If every night was like this she just might enjoy the rest of her time at 4077.
Klinger sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What is that noise?" He muttered to himself, getting up. He stepped outside and followed the sounds to Corporal White's tent.
Should I go in or not? He wondered. Finally he knocked on the door.
"Come on in!" She called over the others.
He opened the door and walked in.
Everyone stopped talking suddenly, and all eyes were on him and Toni. "Can I play?" He asked finally.
---
She nodded slowly.
"Of course you can, Klinger. Pull up a chair." BJ replied cheerfully.
Hawkeye watched Toni out of the corner of his eye. The noise level soon went back to normal, and he moved to sit next to her. "You okay?" He asked quietly.
"Yes, I just didn't expect-"
"What is going on in here?" A voice demanded from the door.
Hawkeye smiled. "Ah, Charles. You decided to join us. And you brought us a nurse, too, how nice of you." He turned to Margaret. "How are you Major Houlihan?"
"You men should be asleep!" She retorted.
"Am I invisible?" Toni asked Hawkeye loudly. "I could have sworn you just called me male. I'll pretend you didn't, as soon as you either join the fun or leave in silence, Majors."
Houlihan looked at her haughtily, the turned and stalked out, followed by Charles.
"That wasn't very nice." Hawkeye said, twinkle in his eyes.
Toni shrugged. "I know." She laid down the cards. "Who's playing this one?"
Everyone; BJ, Hawkeye, Potter, Klinger and Pierce all joined in.
Soon everyone was laughing, and for the first time in her life Toni felt like she fit in.