Authors Note- I know i just finished posting chapter 51, and now, 52 is up. You must all be saying what the heck is with that? well truth being I don't know lol, but here is your second chapter for hte day! Not many responses though, cuz not many people have read 51... so go read that if u skipped it thinking that I only added one chapter today!(something I would do lol)
I walk back into the patients room, how dare she. How fucking dare she. My shoulder hurts like hell from where she threw it at me. That is most definitely going to leave a bruise. I apologize to the man sitting nervously on the gurney. I finish his sutures, trying to steady my hands from anger. And frustration. I'm more frustrated than anything else. I'm a little mad. But who wouldn't be. I have the right. I sign off on his chart and head towards the admit desk, everyone's eyes glued to me. I shoot the nurses a few dirty glances and go look for Susan. She's standing at the desk, chart in hand.
"Susan, I"m going home. I'll pull off an extra two hours tomorrow night."
I don't wait for her to respond. I walk into the lounge quickly gathering my coat and bag. I head towards the el, hoping to get home and take a break. Somehow this will all get sifted through. Somehow. I'm just not exactly sure how. I'm standing on the platform waiting for the train when my phone rings. I grab it out of my pocket and look at the caller id. It's Sam. I flip it open and try to steady my voice.
"Hello?"
I don't know why Sam would be calling me. Unless it was an emergency.
"John? Listen, it's Bryce. I know he was supposed to spend the night, but he spiked a fever. 100.1"
Damn it. Anything else want to go wrong today?
"I'll be there in a few minutes to take him home."
I didn't wait for her to ask what to do. This was Bryce. The kid is sick. And I can' let him go home to just Abby. Hell knows she'll get drunk again and let him deal with everything himself. I grab the green line towards State. I run a little when I get off. Bryce is a pretty resilient kid, and when he gets sick, he gets sick, the whole deal. I don't want to risk anything. Sam opens the door and we head to him. He's lying on the couch, looking a little bit pale. He's in his jacket ready to go.
"How ya feel?"
I ruffle his hair and he starts to laugh a little.
"I'm okay. Just a little sleepy."
I help him off the sofa, and thank Sam on my way out. She's really sweet about everything. How come I didn't meet her instead? Or date her? Or marry her? Or fall in love with her? I put my arm around Bryce's shoulders and we slowly head back towards the L. He's a bit out of it, but I can tell he's trying to convince me he's fine. He's dehydrated, probably catching the flu or something similar. The ride home is a little long, but that's mostly because I can feel Bryce's pulse rate a little low so I'm worried. He needs fluids, not necessarily an IV. But plenty of water. We get upstairs and I order him off to change and to bed while I grab some water and hopefully some type of fever reducer. I shuffle around the cabinets and find some Children's Tylenol. That should work. I walk back into the room and hand the glass and little cup to him. I laugh at his appreciative face. That stuff tastes like crap. I'll admit it. I remember it. I turn off the TV he had turned on, and I walk out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
"Yell if you need anything."
But he's probably on his way to a good dream about Dylan right now. That stuff will knock a full grown man out, much less a little kid. I sit down at the kitchen table and pull out my paperwork and charts. Chief Resident never came without its responsibilities. And I"m way behind. After about an hour or so I go to check in on Bryce. His fever seems to be going down, but the sound of his breathing, I'm not liking it much. I should check that out when he wakes up. Right now he's snoring loud enough to wake the dead. Poor kid. Everyone hates to be sick. And I hate having Bryce sick. I walk back to the kitchen table and attempt to finish the rest of my ever growing pile of charts.
I hear the key in the door and it turning. I forgot one minor detail for a while. I would have to face Abby if I intended to keep a vigil over Bryce. She opens the door and shuts it behind her. She walks a bit in, and we meet gazes. I see a look of scorn forming on her face, and I probably respond the same way.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
I bite my lip. Bryce is sleeping with the door open only a few feet away.
"Bryce is sick. He's running a high fever."
I say it so monotone. As if I were telling a family member of a patient who would have no clue what I was talking about.
"So Sam called you?"
Why is she so surprised. Obviously I"m the more reliable, responsible one in this big mess.
"Yeah."
A look of dejection crosses her face for a brief minute and then anger overthrows it. I look back at the door, and she seems to follow my gaze. She walks up to it, closes it, and starts to head towards the living room. I follow her for the sake of having one less thing to argue about.
She walks towards the middle of the room, away from the passageway, and turns towards me. Hands on her hips, she looks fed up and infuriated. I put my hands in my pockets. She is not blaming this on me. It's not her way out anymore. I refuse to be blamed for every little mistake she makes.
"What the fuck do you think your doing?"
I look at her, a bit thrown back by her sudden outburst of hostility.
"Hmm?"
She rolls her eyes at me.
"I'm his BIOLOGICAL mother. Don't you think I deserve to fucking know if he's sick first?"
Heaven only knows why Sam called me first. But thank god she did. Abby looks like mess and a half.
"I was off. You were working."
I'm trying to keep this argument to a minimum. Even though Bryce is out for the day, I don't want to risk waking him.
"Don't give me any of that bullshit."
I steal a glace back at the door. No sound. No movement. Okay.
"Then don't' give me any of yours. Just because I'm not at a party with you does not mean you can go screw every guy there while your drunk."
I think I just hit delicate territory because she seems about ready to kill someone or something.
"I wasn't drunk."
She's starring off at the wall now. Why do I know she's lying?
"Like hell! You could barely keep your balance this morning!"
She stares straight back at me, eyes burning through me. I would be dead if looks could kill.
"I got home. That's when I started. When you didn't show up."
She says it all rushed and mumbled. I start to shake my head. Unbelievable. It's all my fault. Again.
"When I didn't show up? You probably didn't even want me there. What is it? Am I not good enough for you? Why don't you call Ted? Or your newest fuck. I don't give a damn."
She's digging into her own skin with her nails. I see the blood begin to trickle down her arms. Not a lot. But enough.
"Asshole."
I had turned back around at that point.
"I'm the asshole? I would never let my ten year old son see me drunk, much less DRINK at ALL!"
Words are coming out of my mouth, forming on their own. I have lost control over everything right now.
"It was one time."
She's lost. She knows she's lost. But she's not giving up yet.
"One time is all it takes."
She looks at the window, then back at me.
"Why the hell is everything about me and my drinking? One time and suddenly it's ruining everything."
I take a deep breathe. I need this to come out calmly. That's a joke. I know it won't. As soon as I open my mouth I know it won't.
"Because all it takes is one time! You're an alcoholic, Abby. Deal with it. You're never gonna be able to have just a drink. And your never going to be happy unless you let someone in. I want to understand you. But I can't."
She starts to shake her head.
"There's nothing to understand. I'm a fucking alcoholic whore who sleeps with every guy she meets. I'm miserable and depressed and I've managed not to only fuck up my own life but also my son's life."
I bite my tongue. It doesn't work.
"Sounds about right."
I start to turn away.
"Don't you dare leave."
I start to head towards the kitchen.
"Why shouldn't I? You do it all the time."
Of course I'm not leaving. I wouldn't dare leave Bryce with her.
"Carter!"
Her voice isn't angry. It's more pleading than anything. I turn around and she's standing there, the look of exhaustion and defeat on her face. I refuse to give in. It doesn't fix the matter that she did kiss, or sleep with, or whatever with someone else. And it doesn't fix our problems. It's time for her to figure it out now. I"m done.
Her pulse is racing, I can see it, she's breathing heavily. I know this isn't completely over either.
"Would you guys just stop!!"
We both whip around to see Bryce, he's crying a little, covered in blankets. Neither of us had realized. We'd forgotten all about him for that brief second.
"Just stop... Please.. Just stop..."
He's sobbing a bit. This has to be hard on him. Especially being sick. And now us. I shoot him an apologetic glance, but steer clear of Abby's view. I head over to him, but he shoves me away.
"Just leave me the hell alone."
He runs back into his room and slams the door. I look at Abby. We both exchange the "it's all your fault" looks. It's all her fault. No. It's half mine. I walk back over the couch and sit down, burying my head into my hands. What are we going to do? We can't keep on doing this to ourselves and Bryce. Mostly Bryce. She sits down, I feel her weight indent the cushion next to me. I don't know what else to do. What else can we do? I grab her hand and intertwine our fingers. After a few seconds, she collapses against me, and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt. I want to put my arm around her so badly. And tell her everything's going to be okay. But I'm not so sure it will. I just don't know anymore.
***PREVIEW***
"I just- you-" He shakes his head,
"I can't believe you kissed someone" He pushes his hair back sighing.
"Carter, I didn't." I look over at him.
"sometimes I wonder if its worth all the pain we are causing,"
***REVIEW RESPONSES***
vicki- lol public fights would be really embarrasing... but i guess when you're in the heat of the moment anything goes??? LOL!
honeybear1(CHAP 50)- We have about 40 more to post, we haven't finished the fic though, its nearing it though. Jamie's a problem, cuz he's a guy and they get jealous easily when they think someone is messing around with their women. LOL never quite understood it myself lol.
I walk back into the patients room, how dare she. How fucking dare she. My shoulder hurts like hell from where she threw it at me. That is most definitely going to leave a bruise. I apologize to the man sitting nervously on the gurney. I finish his sutures, trying to steady my hands from anger. And frustration. I'm more frustrated than anything else. I'm a little mad. But who wouldn't be. I have the right. I sign off on his chart and head towards the admit desk, everyone's eyes glued to me. I shoot the nurses a few dirty glances and go look for Susan. She's standing at the desk, chart in hand.
"Susan, I"m going home. I'll pull off an extra two hours tomorrow night."
I don't wait for her to respond. I walk into the lounge quickly gathering my coat and bag. I head towards the el, hoping to get home and take a break. Somehow this will all get sifted through. Somehow. I'm just not exactly sure how. I'm standing on the platform waiting for the train when my phone rings. I grab it out of my pocket and look at the caller id. It's Sam. I flip it open and try to steady my voice.
"Hello?"
I don't know why Sam would be calling me. Unless it was an emergency.
"John? Listen, it's Bryce. I know he was supposed to spend the night, but he spiked a fever. 100.1"
Damn it. Anything else want to go wrong today?
"I'll be there in a few minutes to take him home."
I didn't wait for her to ask what to do. This was Bryce. The kid is sick. And I can' let him go home to just Abby. Hell knows she'll get drunk again and let him deal with everything himself. I grab the green line towards State. I run a little when I get off. Bryce is a pretty resilient kid, and when he gets sick, he gets sick, the whole deal. I don't want to risk anything. Sam opens the door and we head to him. He's lying on the couch, looking a little bit pale. He's in his jacket ready to go.
"How ya feel?"
I ruffle his hair and he starts to laugh a little.
"I'm okay. Just a little sleepy."
I help him off the sofa, and thank Sam on my way out. She's really sweet about everything. How come I didn't meet her instead? Or date her? Or marry her? Or fall in love with her? I put my arm around Bryce's shoulders and we slowly head back towards the L. He's a bit out of it, but I can tell he's trying to convince me he's fine. He's dehydrated, probably catching the flu or something similar. The ride home is a little long, but that's mostly because I can feel Bryce's pulse rate a little low so I'm worried. He needs fluids, not necessarily an IV. But plenty of water. We get upstairs and I order him off to change and to bed while I grab some water and hopefully some type of fever reducer. I shuffle around the cabinets and find some Children's Tylenol. That should work. I walk back into the room and hand the glass and little cup to him. I laugh at his appreciative face. That stuff tastes like crap. I'll admit it. I remember it. I turn off the TV he had turned on, and I walk out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
"Yell if you need anything."
But he's probably on his way to a good dream about Dylan right now. That stuff will knock a full grown man out, much less a little kid. I sit down at the kitchen table and pull out my paperwork and charts. Chief Resident never came without its responsibilities. And I"m way behind. After about an hour or so I go to check in on Bryce. His fever seems to be going down, but the sound of his breathing, I'm not liking it much. I should check that out when he wakes up. Right now he's snoring loud enough to wake the dead. Poor kid. Everyone hates to be sick. And I hate having Bryce sick. I walk back to the kitchen table and attempt to finish the rest of my ever growing pile of charts.
I hear the key in the door and it turning. I forgot one minor detail for a while. I would have to face Abby if I intended to keep a vigil over Bryce. She opens the door and shuts it behind her. She walks a bit in, and we meet gazes. I see a look of scorn forming on her face, and I probably respond the same way.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
I bite my lip. Bryce is sleeping with the door open only a few feet away.
"Bryce is sick. He's running a high fever."
I say it so monotone. As if I were telling a family member of a patient who would have no clue what I was talking about.
"So Sam called you?"
Why is she so surprised. Obviously I"m the more reliable, responsible one in this big mess.
"Yeah."
A look of dejection crosses her face for a brief minute and then anger overthrows it. I look back at the door, and she seems to follow my gaze. She walks up to it, closes it, and starts to head towards the living room. I follow her for the sake of having one less thing to argue about.
She walks towards the middle of the room, away from the passageway, and turns towards me. Hands on her hips, she looks fed up and infuriated. I put my hands in my pockets. She is not blaming this on me. It's not her way out anymore. I refuse to be blamed for every little mistake she makes.
"What the fuck do you think your doing?"
I look at her, a bit thrown back by her sudden outburst of hostility.
"Hmm?"
She rolls her eyes at me.
"I'm his BIOLOGICAL mother. Don't you think I deserve to fucking know if he's sick first?"
Heaven only knows why Sam called me first. But thank god she did. Abby looks like mess and a half.
"I was off. You were working."
I'm trying to keep this argument to a minimum. Even though Bryce is out for the day, I don't want to risk waking him.
"Don't give me any of that bullshit."
I steal a glace back at the door. No sound. No movement. Okay.
"Then don't' give me any of yours. Just because I'm not at a party with you does not mean you can go screw every guy there while your drunk."
I think I just hit delicate territory because she seems about ready to kill someone or something.
"I wasn't drunk."
She's starring off at the wall now. Why do I know she's lying?
"Like hell! You could barely keep your balance this morning!"
She stares straight back at me, eyes burning through me. I would be dead if looks could kill.
"I got home. That's when I started. When you didn't show up."
She says it all rushed and mumbled. I start to shake my head. Unbelievable. It's all my fault. Again.
"When I didn't show up? You probably didn't even want me there. What is it? Am I not good enough for you? Why don't you call Ted? Or your newest fuck. I don't give a damn."
She's digging into her own skin with her nails. I see the blood begin to trickle down her arms. Not a lot. But enough.
"Asshole."
I had turned back around at that point.
"I'm the asshole? I would never let my ten year old son see me drunk, much less DRINK at ALL!"
Words are coming out of my mouth, forming on their own. I have lost control over everything right now.
"It was one time."
She's lost. She knows she's lost. But she's not giving up yet.
"One time is all it takes."
She looks at the window, then back at me.
"Why the hell is everything about me and my drinking? One time and suddenly it's ruining everything."
I take a deep breathe. I need this to come out calmly. That's a joke. I know it won't. As soon as I open my mouth I know it won't.
"Because all it takes is one time! You're an alcoholic, Abby. Deal with it. You're never gonna be able to have just a drink. And your never going to be happy unless you let someone in. I want to understand you. But I can't."
She starts to shake her head.
"There's nothing to understand. I'm a fucking alcoholic whore who sleeps with every guy she meets. I'm miserable and depressed and I've managed not to only fuck up my own life but also my son's life."
I bite my tongue. It doesn't work.
"Sounds about right."
I start to turn away.
"Don't you dare leave."
I start to head towards the kitchen.
"Why shouldn't I? You do it all the time."
Of course I'm not leaving. I wouldn't dare leave Bryce with her.
"Carter!"
Her voice isn't angry. It's more pleading than anything. I turn around and she's standing there, the look of exhaustion and defeat on her face. I refuse to give in. It doesn't fix the matter that she did kiss, or sleep with, or whatever with someone else. And it doesn't fix our problems. It's time for her to figure it out now. I"m done.
Her pulse is racing, I can see it, she's breathing heavily. I know this isn't completely over either.
"Would you guys just stop!!"
We both whip around to see Bryce, he's crying a little, covered in blankets. Neither of us had realized. We'd forgotten all about him for that brief second.
"Just stop... Please.. Just stop..."
He's sobbing a bit. This has to be hard on him. Especially being sick. And now us. I shoot him an apologetic glance, but steer clear of Abby's view. I head over to him, but he shoves me away.
"Just leave me the hell alone."
He runs back into his room and slams the door. I look at Abby. We both exchange the "it's all your fault" looks. It's all her fault. No. It's half mine. I walk back over the couch and sit down, burying my head into my hands. What are we going to do? We can't keep on doing this to ourselves and Bryce. Mostly Bryce. She sits down, I feel her weight indent the cushion next to me. I don't know what else to do. What else can we do? I grab her hand and intertwine our fingers. After a few seconds, she collapses against me, and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt. I want to put my arm around her so badly. And tell her everything's going to be okay. But I'm not so sure it will. I just don't know anymore.
***PREVIEW***
"I just- you-" He shakes his head,
"I can't believe you kissed someone" He pushes his hair back sighing.
"Carter, I didn't." I look over at him.
"sometimes I wonder if its worth all the pain we are causing,"
***REVIEW RESPONSES***
vicki- lol public fights would be really embarrasing... but i guess when you're in the heat of the moment anything goes??? LOL!
honeybear1(CHAP 50)- We have about 40 more to post, we haven't finished the fic though, its nearing it though. Jamie's a problem, cuz he's a guy and they get jealous easily when they think someone is messing around with their women. LOL never quite understood it myself lol.