"Mom!" I walk out of my bedroom, a smile plastered across my face, he walks towards me, Carter stands at the door leaning against the door frame. I grab my son pulling him into a big bear hug. Its been five days since I've seen him, and I've been sober the whole time. I talked to him everyday on the phone, Carter on the other hand I have not spoken too since he took Bryce that day. "How have you been." I run my fingers through his short hair. Is it weird that I think he's gotten bigger? "Good, Carter and I hung out in his pool. Its awesome!" He is smiling widely, I hope his is not better off without me. "I missed you though, its not the same when you're not around." His smile fades a bit, but not before I can give him a kiss. "Aw mom come on." He whines wiping his face. "I'm going to hang out in my room for a bit. I could cut the tension, in here, with a knife."
"Go." I direct his body towards his bedroom. Carter stands up straight staring me in the eye. "You want something to drink?" I walk away, avoiding his gaze, but as usual he follows. "No, thanks." He adds. He takes a seat at the table, still watching me.
"What do you want John?" I roll my eyes and turn to look at him. He looks tired, worn out even. Hah, having a son to look after all the time really takes a toll on a person, and finally he is starting to feel some pain. "Nothing." He shakes his head sombrely.
"Oh." He looks different, not worn out different, but a bad different, like something has changed. He's not the same guy I started to date three months ago. I walk towards him, slowly though, I don't want to startle him. He looks so fragile. We maintain eye contact, I am mere inches apart, I brush my hand against his somewhat unshaven face, he flinches at the touch, before resting his head in my hand. "What's wrong?" I ask softly. He shakes his head at me, his eyes are glazed over. Lack of sleep maybe?
Suddenly he pulls away, pushing my hand down. "I uh I have to work, watch the kid will yah?" He takes off towards the door, I cross my arms across my chest watching him go. I have been so caught up in my self pity I haven't noticed my boyfriend slowly drifting away from me. We've only been together a few months, but I really love him. Maybe we are just not as close as I once thought. "Hey Bryce." I keep my eyes fixated on the closed door Carter walked out of just moments ago. "Yeah." He walks out of his room placing himself next to me, also watching the door. "You waiting for someone mom?" I turn and look at him. "Have you noticed a change in Carter?" He looks at me puzzled.
"What do you mean? He's not a drunk if-"
"I don't mean that." I say roughly. "Is he unhappy?" Bryce crinkles his brow.
"I don't think so, I mean you two are acting crazy towards one another, it could be that. Maybe your fights are hurting him." He spits bitterly, I know he is talking about himself.
"Bryce." I hold onto both of his arms. "I know things seem screwed up right now. Impossible even, but give us time." He nods at me.
"I'm not bipolar." This comment throws me off completely,
"What?"
"I heard you guys fighting the other night." He explains, he takes a step back from me. "I just, I am having problems with the whole move thing, and all the stress I have been feeling from you and John. I mean, I love you both, but I don't want to deal with it anymore." He brushes his hand through his hair. "I'll see a shrink if you want. To prove to you that I'm not. I don't want you to worry." He says softly. I nod at him, I know he's right he probably doesn't have it at the time I was looking for any reason to drink. "Don't drink 'cause of me mom." He finishes my thought. I smile at him, pulling him into a warm comforting hug. "I won't baby, don't you worry."
~*~
"Wait in the lounge." I run into the ER Bryce's hand in mine. "I'll only be on for a few hours." I turn towards him, a look off disappointment on his face.
"That's what you say every time." He wriggles free of my grip and runs towards the lounge. "Abby- Mr. Johnson in one." Carter tosses a chart at me, since when did we start being rude and hostile to each other? I must not have gotten the memo. "Okay." I walk off to the lounge, quickly hanging up my jacket and taking a moment to look at my pouting son. I sigh and leave the lounge as quickly as possible. I rush towards my patient, Carter is standing in the exam room, speaking with him. "I thought I was-" I start.
"You were, I had to take over for you, since you were so late." He says rudely. Hey, I was called in on my day off, so bite me. He's awfully moody lately, by lately I mean today. "I was called in Carter." I spit back.
"Yeah well, you could have been on time, being called in is no excuse."
"My son was playing outside I had to tell him that the only day we were going to spend together would be here." I argue back, he is fuming as am I.
"Can I speak to you next door." He says calmly. I nod and he leads the way. We walk into an empty, dark exam room. "What has gotten into you?" I say before he can start yelling at me. "What has gotten into me?" He shoves his hand roughly towards his chest.
"YES! That's what I said wasn't it?" He takes a step back not breaking eye contact.
"I've been stressed." He whispers this. I wonder why he is suddenly so quiet.
"You're acting weird." I sit down on a bed. He walks over and sits on the bed adjacent to mine. "How?" He puts his hands on the edge of the bed holding himself up.
"I don't know, you look upset." I smile sadly.
"Maybe its because my girlfriend and I can't seem to have conversation without yelling." His eyes dance around the room, looking at various things situated in the room.
"Yeah, I know that feeling." I sigh. He looks at me. "I haven't had a drink in five days you know? I have been to meetings. I figure if I stop right after I start its easier to keep a handle on the problem, yah know." He rubs his forehead, as though he knows exactly what I am talking about. "Yeah." He stands up hovering over me. "I am going to let you get better." He states looking down at me. "What do you mean?"
"I want you to get better. I don't want to be the thing that stands in your way. I figure if you and I are fighting all the time it must be-"
"No-" I cute him off. "We aren't breaking up John. Not over this, if we break up over this I am just letting it control my life." I can feel the tears threatening to fall.
"Okay." He places his hands on my shoulders, and smiles at me. "Whatever you want, if you want to be together we will be together, because I know I can't live without you for longer then a day. "I was going stir crazy without you." He takes a deep breath, "I love you more then life its self, but sometimes we just hurt each other, like the other night." He reaches out and touches the arm he bruised. I nod in agreement. "I shouldn't push you. Its just as bad as you hitting me." I stand up looking him the eye, "I have to get back to work." He nods, he still looks unhappy and this concerns me, greatly.
~*~
I flip through my last chart, then stack it at admit. "Bye Bryce." I call, he waves as he leaves with Luka, Sam and Alex. "I'll see you tomorrow mom. We will go mini putting." He grins. He knows I hate mini putt, I'm convinced that's the reason he loves it so much. "Hey you," Carter comes up behind me tapping me on the shoulder with his clip board. He has a smile on spread from ear to ear. "Hi." I reach out and rub his arm. "You off now?" I walk towards the lounge, he follows. "Yeah." He opens his lockers door up. "I was thinking you and I could go out for a romantic dinner." He leaves his locker coming up behind me at me, kissing my neck. "John-" I turn around to look at him, just two hours ago I thought I was going to have to get him tested for depression and now he's like this? He's acting weird. "You are in a much happier mood." I am worried, but manage to put a fake smile on. "I am with you, that's why!" He coos. He leans in and kisses me tenderly on the lips, pulling away then moves to whisper in my ear. "What do you say about dinner? Just me and you? A candle lit table, nice food. No wine." I laugh and wrap my arms around his shoulders. "Yeah, I could go for that right now." He pulls back, and kisses me once more. "Good, then we can go back to your place and have some fun of our own." He walks over to his locker and continues to get his stuff ready. I am a little worried at this change of attitude. "John, why don't we just go back to my place, order pizza and then have the fun." I turn away from my locker and look at him. He looks slightly disappointed, but nods his head yes. "Yeah, sounds good. Anything with you is good though." He shuts his locker door walks over to me, and waits as I finish up. He grabs my hand as we walk out into the cool Chicago air. I love him, I really do. I just think there could be something wrong that he is not telling me about. Maybe something with the foundation that is really weighing him down, he feels the need to act this way with me. I want to make him better, have him tell me exactly what is going on. Maybe his parents are back together? I haven't a clue. I want to ask him, maybe I can get it out of him tonight. I am afraid he is trying to keep things from me because he doesn't want me to worry more then I have to. I want to hear about his problems though. He looks down at me smiling. We stomp up the EL stairs and wait on the platform in silence, just watching the snow fall. Just looks to be in deep thought or concentration. "What you thinking about?" I nudge him gently.
"Uh-" His expression changes to the big smile he was wearing minutes ago. "Just you." He leans down and kisses my cheek. "John, seriously." I am not smiling any more. His expression also changes to serious. "Nothing Abby." He loosens his grip on my hand a little. "You'd tell me right?" I pause for a second taking in his expression. "If something was wrong, you'd tell me?"
"You'd be the first person to know." He squeezes my hand, the smile making his way across his face again. "It'll be nice to be just you and I." He says as the train roars into the station. "Yeah." I say softly, wondering if this night will go wrong, very wrong. Something bad will happen. I can feel it. I don't know what, I don't know why, but I know that John is hiding something from me, and that something is going to do something to us tonight, that's what my gut tells me. My gut has never been wrong, unfortunately.
***REVIEW RESPONSES***
Tilde8884- We are finished the fic... completely. I think its about 105 chapters or so maybe a bit longer. Don't worry we have an idea that we might do, a continuation to the fic sort of.
Kaitlin- hehe you'll love this present hehe!!
IDontWriteIJustRead (CHAP 59)- I laughed my ass off when I read your comment haha! Carter is a hypocrite haha!
IDontWriteIJustRead (CHAP 58)- hehe we wanted to throw you for a loop
CARBYforever- thanks we do our best :D
Amanda- I have no clue! Haha! Thanks
cate- life can sometimes be silly. I think we all get to the point sometimes where we think there is no hope and carter had just reached that point.
Amanda (CHAP 58)- BAD!
MrsWyle - don't worry... well worry for a little while at least.
smilez4eva- agh er day thursday hehe I'm stoked don't worry lots of updates coming ur way!
vkh214- haha sorry... lol angst is good :D!
BlackChili- thanks for reviewing... dont worry we will :D
CamilaC- thank yah. We haev big plans for a new story hehe
CamilaC (CHAP 59) HAPPY ABBY:D... yeah sad abby :(
CamilaC- bad carter... kick his ass abby!
rizzo1- thank you... we are giving you a big treat today.
IDontWriteIJustRead- yup thats the idea to make you think hehe
Lisa- yeah everything seems to just keep getting in the way
JanBry- don't worry it will eventually get better
anonymous1-you are right... if you don't like it don't read it. I'm not going to try and pimp my story at you, obviously you've read it, you can make your own assesment. BTW smart ass comments are fun... I maka about a billion a day, yes sex ones too. haha anways at least its compelling. Thanks for reviewing.
"Go." I direct his body towards his bedroom. Carter stands up straight staring me in the eye. "You want something to drink?" I walk away, avoiding his gaze, but as usual he follows. "No, thanks." He adds. He takes a seat at the table, still watching me.
"What do you want John?" I roll my eyes and turn to look at him. He looks tired, worn out even. Hah, having a son to look after all the time really takes a toll on a person, and finally he is starting to feel some pain. "Nothing." He shakes his head sombrely.
"Oh." He looks different, not worn out different, but a bad different, like something has changed. He's not the same guy I started to date three months ago. I walk towards him, slowly though, I don't want to startle him. He looks so fragile. We maintain eye contact, I am mere inches apart, I brush my hand against his somewhat unshaven face, he flinches at the touch, before resting his head in my hand. "What's wrong?" I ask softly. He shakes his head at me, his eyes are glazed over. Lack of sleep maybe?
Suddenly he pulls away, pushing my hand down. "I uh I have to work, watch the kid will yah?" He takes off towards the door, I cross my arms across my chest watching him go. I have been so caught up in my self pity I haven't noticed my boyfriend slowly drifting away from me. We've only been together a few months, but I really love him. Maybe we are just not as close as I once thought. "Hey Bryce." I keep my eyes fixated on the closed door Carter walked out of just moments ago. "Yeah." He walks out of his room placing himself next to me, also watching the door. "You waiting for someone mom?" I turn and look at him. "Have you noticed a change in Carter?" He looks at me puzzled.
"What do you mean? He's not a drunk if-"
"I don't mean that." I say roughly. "Is he unhappy?" Bryce crinkles his brow.
"I don't think so, I mean you two are acting crazy towards one another, it could be that. Maybe your fights are hurting him." He spits bitterly, I know he is talking about himself.
"Bryce." I hold onto both of his arms. "I know things seem screwed up right now. Impossible even, but give us time." He nods at me.
"I'm not bipolar." This comment throws me off completely,
"What?"
"I heard you guys fighting the other night." He explains, he takes a step back from me. "I just, I am having problems with the whole move thing, and all the stress I have been feeling from you and John. I mean, I love you both, but I don't want to deal with it anymore." He brushes his hand through his hair. "I'll see a shrink if you want. To prove to you that I'm not. I don't want you to worry." He says softly. I nod at him, I know he's right he probably doesn't have it at the time I was looking for any reason to drink. "Don't drink 'cause of me mom." He finishes my thought. I smile at him, pulling him into a warm comforting hug. "I won't baby, don't you worry."
~*~
"Wait in the lounge." I run into the ER Bryce's hand in mine. "I'll only be on for a few hours." I turn towards him, a look off disappointment on his face.
"That's what you say every time." He wriggles free of my grip and runs towards the lounge. "Abby- Mr. Johnson in one." Carter tosses a chart at me, since when did we start being rude and hostile to each other? I must not have gotten the memo. "Okay." I walk off to the lounge, quickly hanging up my jacket and taking a moment to look at my pouting son. I sigh and leave the lounge as quickly as possible. I rush towards my patient, Carter is standing in the exam room, speaking with him. "I thought I was-" I start.
"You were, I had to take over for you, since you were so late." He says rudely. Hey, I was called in on my day off, so bite me. He's awfully moody lately, by lately I mean today. "I was called in Carter." I spit back.
"Yeah well, you could have been on time, being called in is no excuse."
"My son was playing outside I had to tell him that the only day we were going to spend together would be here." I argue back, he is fuming as am I.
"Can I speak to you next door." He says calmly. I nod and he leads the way. We walk into an empty, dark exam room. "What has gotten into you?" I say before he can start yelling at me. "What has gotten into me?" He shoves his hand roughly towards his chest.
"YES! That's what I said wasn't it?" He takes a step back not breaking eye contact.
"I've been stressed." He whispers this. I wonder why he is suddenly so quiet.
"You're acting weird." I sit down on a bed. He walks over and sits on the bed adjacent to mine. "How?" He puts his hands on the edge of the bed holding himself up.
"I don't know, you look upset." I smile sadly.
"Maybe its because my girlfriend and I can't seem to have conversation without yelling." His eyes dance around the room, looking at various things situated in the room.
"Yeah, I know that feeling." I sigh. He looks at me. "I haven't had a drink in five days you know? I have been to meetings. I figure if I stop right after I start its easier to keep a handle on the problem, yah know." He rubs his forehead, as though he knows exactly what I am talking about. "Yeah." He stands up hovering over me. "I am going to let you get better." He states looking down at me. "What do you mean?"
"I want you to get better. I don't want to be the thing that stands in your way. I figure if you and I are fighting all the time it must be-"
"No-" I cute him off. "We aren't breaking up John. Not over this, if we break up over this I am just letting it control my life." I can feel the tears threatening to fall.
"Okay." He places his hands on my shoulders, and smiles at me. "Whatever you want, if you want to be together we will be together, because I know I can't live without you for longer then a day. "I was going stir crazy without you." He takes a deep breath, "I love you more then life its self, but sometimes we just hurt each other, like the other night." He reaches out and touches the arm he bruised. I nod in agreement. "I shouldn't push you. Its just as bad as you hitting me." I stand up looking him the eye, "I have to get back to work." He nods, he still looks unhappy and this concerns me, greatly.
~*~
I flip through my last chart, then stack it at admit. "Bye Bryce." I call, he waves as he leaves with Luka, Sam and Alex. "I'll see you tomorrow mom. We will go mini putting." He grins. He knows I hate mini putt, I'm convinced that's the reason he loves it so much. "Hey you," Carter comes up behind me tapping me on the shoulder with his clip board. He has a smile on spread from ear to ear. "Hi." I reach out and rub his arm. "You off now?" I walk towards the lounge, he follows. "Yeah." He opens his lockers door up. "I was thinking you and I could go out for a romantic dinner." He leaves his locker coming up behind me at me, kissing my neck. "John-" I turn around to look at him, just two hours ago I thought I was going to have to get him tested for depression and now he's like this? He's acting weird. "You are in a much happier mood." I am worried, but manage to put a fake smile on. "I am with you, that's why!" He coos. He leans in and kisses me tenderly on the lips, pulling away then moves to whisper in my ear. "What do you say about dinner? Just me and you? A candle lit table, nice food. No wine." I laugh and wrap my arms around his shoulders. "Yeah, I could go for that right now." He pulls back, and kisses me once more. "Good, then we can go back to your place and have some fun of our own." He walks over to his locker and continues to get his stuff ready. I am a little worried at this change of attitude. "John, why don't we just go back to my place, order pizza and then have the fun." I turn away from my locker and look at him. He looks slightly disappointed, but nods his head yes. "Yeah, sounds good. Anything with you is good though." He shuts his locker door walks over to me, and waits as I finish up. He grabs my hand as we walk out into the cool Chicago air. I love him, I really do. I just think there could be something wrong that he is not telling me about. Maybe something with the foundation that is really weighing him down, he feels the need to act this way with me. I want to make him better, have him tell me exactly what is going on. Maybe his parents are back together? I haven't a clue. I want to ask him, maybe I can get it out of him tonight. I am afraid he is trying to keep things from me because he doesn't want me to worry more then I have to. I want to hear about his problems though. He looks down at me smiling. We stomp up the EL stairs and wait on the platform in silence, just watching the snow fall. Just looks to be in deep thought or concentration. "What you thinking about?" I nudge him gently.
"Uh-" His expression changes to the big smile he was wearing minutes ago. "Just you." He leans down and kisses my cheek. "John, seriously." I am not smiling any more. His expression also changes to serious. "Nothing Abby." He loosens his grip on my hand a little. "You'd tell me right?" I pause for a second taking in his expression. "If something was wrong, you'd tell me?"
"You'd be the first person to know." He squeezes my hand, the smile making his way across his face again. "It'll be nice to be just you and I." He says as the train roars into the station. "Yeah." I say softly, wondering if this night will go wrong, very wrong. Something bad will happen. I can feel it. I don't know what, I don't know why, but I know that John is hiding something from me, and that something is going to do something to us tonight, that's what my gut tells me. My gut has never been wrong, unfortunately.
***REVIEW RESPONSES***
Tilde8884- We are finished the fic... completely. I think its about 105 chapters or so maybe a bit longer. Don't worry we have an idea that we might do, a continuation to the fic sort of.
Kaitlin- hehe you'll love this present hehe!!
IDontWriteIJustRead (CHAP 59)- I laughed my ass off when I read your comment haha! Carter is a hypocrite haha!
IDontWriteIJustRead (CHAP 58)- hehe we wanted to throw you for a loop
CARBYforever- thanks we do our best :D
Amanda- I have no clue! Haha! Thanks
cate- life can sometimes be silly. I think we all get to the point sometimes where we think there is no hope and carter had just reached that point.
Amanda (CHAP 58)- BAD!
MrsWyle - don't worry... well worry for a little while at least.
smilez4eva- agh er day thursday hehe I'm stoked don't worry lots of updates coming ur way!
vkh214- haha sorry... lol angst is good :D!
BlackChili- thanks for reviewing... dont worry we will :D
CamilaC- thank yah. We haev big plans for a new story hehe
CamilaC (CHAP 59) HAPPY ABBY:D... yeah sad abby :(
CamilaC- bad carter... kick his ass abby!
rizzo1- thank you... we are giving you a big treat today.
IDontWriteIJustRead- yup thats the idea to make you think hehe
Lisa- yeah everything seems to just keep getting in the way
JanBry- don't worry it will eventually get better
anonymous1-you are right... if you don't like it don't read it. I'm not going to try and pimp my story at you, obviously you've read it, you can make your own assesment. BTW smart ass comments are fun... I maka about a billion a day, yes sex ones too. haha anways at least its compelling. Thanks for reviewing.