I don't care what he says he's different. He says he's fine, but the way he was acting two nights ago he would never act like that, well at least not before the change. I have no clue what this change is exactly, or what prompted it. I know it started the night of, or right after, our somewhat violent fight. So I know I did this to him. He hasn't talked to me since he left a couple nights ago. He talks to Bryce, but avoids me at all costs. I saw him at work yesterday and he looked like shit. He was barking out orders and acting like a complete jerk to everyone. He told Bryce they could hang out, but I am not letting him near my son, at least not alone until I figure out what the hell is wrong with him. I walk into the lounge, I could really go for a hot cup of coffee right about now. I see Susan and Carter sitting at the table and Chen on the couch. Carter seems to be in a mood by the look on his face, Susan is filling out charts, and Chen is reading the paper. "Hey." I smile, Susan and Chen smile back, Carter glares at me, then storms out of the room. Chen immediately takes a seat at the table, I pour my coffee and then join them.
"What's with him?" Susan asks, gesturing towards the door in which Carter just exited through. "Yeah, I have been watching him. He's being a prick." Chen added.
"I don't know. He won't tell me, anything at all." I say sadly. Chen and Susan look at each other and nod, "yeah sometimes he can be weird, he'll come around though." Susan assures me, she and Chen get up at the same time and toss out their coffee cups leaving me and my thoughts. I am really worried about him, I hope he is okay, he has been acting weird towards everyone so maybe it is not just me. Although he does seem annoyed with me in particular lately. "Hey mom." Bryce walks into the lounge letting the door swing behind him. He went back to school today, he needed to go back, see his friends, get back in his regular routine. "Hey kiddo." He sits across from me and smiles.
"Uh- Carter said he was off now. I'm going to hang out with him okay?" He starts to rise.
"No." I say firmly. He will hate me for this, but I just can't have him hanging around Carter, not right now. If Carter wanted to come over for dinner he could, but I don't want Bryce and Carter hanging out alone. "No?" He questions.
"Yeah, I want you to stay here with me today, I get off in an hour, you won't have long to wait. You can get started on your homework, I know you're anxious to get it done." I smile throwing my cup out.
"I want to go with Carter." He argues.
"No Bryce, now sit down and get your homework done. I don't want to hear one more word about it." I lecture, he sits down grumpily.
"Hey you coming with me-" Carter walks through the doors. He sees me and stops mid sentence. "I can't" Bryce brats.
"What?" He seems astonished.
"I want him to stay here with me. Spend sometime together." I tell Carter calmly, as not to flip him off the handle. "Why? You have work. Why doesn't he just come with me? It makes more sense." He gets closer, his voice shaky and angry.
"Because, he is my son, and I want my son with me." I back away from him a little frightened. "Are you doing this to punish me?" He shouts, I look at Bryce who seems a little scared. "Bryce go out and sit in the waiting area." I don't take my eyes of Carter, but I notice that Bryce leaves. "I am not trying to punish you John." He scoffs at this, and runs his fingers through his hair. He does that a lot lately. "The hell you aren't." He takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. "You're mad because you know deep down inside, you know I don't really love you." I am completely shocked. The tears come to the brim of my eyes. "What?" I whisper, barely audible.
"You heard me. I don't love you. You were right before you are nothing but a good fuck. I got closer to Bryce though, he's a cool kid, you-" He shakes his head laughing. "You are just a bitch. A self righteous, inconsiderate bitch." He slams his fist up against the locker. "Fuck you." I whisper it at first. "FUCK YOU! And stay the hell away from Bryce, I swear to god Carter you go any where near him and I'll have the cops all over your fucking ass." I storm out of the lounge, Bryce is hanging out with Alex, he's safe.
~*~
"I'm off." I toss the last chart in the pile and head into the lounge to retrieve my son and get my belongings. I open the door. Its empty. Where did Bryce go? The roof maybe? Frank will know, he probably saw him walk by. I leave the lounge and head towards the admit desk. "Hey Frank," he looks up at me. "Did you see where Bryce went?" I ask leaning up against the desk. "Carter took him." I know my face fell, because Frank gave me a weird look. "When?" I stand up straight. I had been in a trauma for at least an hour and a half, I had to work later then expected. "When he left, after his shift was over." I can't believe this, he has my son. I pick up my cell phone and hit his speed dial number. "Hello?"
"John." I storm into the lounge preparing to pick my son up right away. "Where the hell are you?" I continue.
"I am at the mansion." He states simply.
"Where the fuck is Bryce?" I am pretty much screaming now.
"Jesus Abby, calm down. He can hear you screaming through the phone." I can't believe this. "I want him NOW!!!" I screech, tears are filling my eyes.
"Let me feed him-"
"No John, I want him now." He goes silent, he is starting to take me seriously I guess.
"I'll bring him by your place."
"No. I'll come get him." I respond slamming the phone shut. I rush out of the ER and onto the EL. I can't believe he did this. Well actually I can. The old Carter wouldn't have, but the new one seems to take pleasure out of hurting and hating me. I don't know what has gotten into him. I don't think I did anything to upset him recently. I mean there is the whole drinking aspect, but I haven't had a drink in a week. I am doing well. I am happy, Bryce is staying with me now. He spent a little while with Carter, but now I think I am most definitely the most stable out of the two of us. He is going to end up so screwed up, years of therapy could not reverse what I have done to my son. I am a horrible mother.
The train comes to a halt, I get up and rush out of the packed train. I head towards the rich neighbour hood. I don't know if Carter and I are broken up or not. I believe we are, and god it hurts so badly, more then it should, especially considering the ways he has been treating me lately. I head up the long path towards the Carter mansion. I make my way up to the door and bang on it angrily. The door swings open and there stands Carter. "Hey." He says softly.
"Don't hey me. Where the hell is my son." I shout, pushing my way into the house.
"You just have to listen to me!" He states getting in my face, I try to push him away, but he grabs my hands, holding onto them he holds them at my sides. "I don't have to listen to you! BRYCE!" I screech, tears falling down my face. I see him come thumping into the room, Carter still has not removed his hands from my wrists, he turns and sees Bryce giving him a scared look, then quickly releases me. "Let's go." I say reaching for Bryce, he comes with me quickly, running to put his shoes and jacket on. He knows something is wrong. I grab his hand and we walk down the path, I can feel Carter watching us, wrap my arms around Bryce's shoulder and we continue to walk until we are off of the Carter property. "What's wrong with Carter mom?" Bryce's face has fell. The man he once looked up to and admired, has changed drastically. "I don't know baby." I put my hand on the back of his neck pulling him towards me for a comforting hug. "Is he sick like Maggie and Eric?" He says through tears.
"No. I don't think so." I have never thought of that though. What if he is bi polar? I mean he could be. His moods change much too frequently for that though, unless he has an extreme case of it, and just started going off his meds. "I thought he was going to hurt you mom." He looks up at me with tear stained cheeks.
"No. He would never do that." I lie. At least not intentionally.
"Okay. I just want to go home, and stay away from him till he is better." He says a faint smile on his lips. "Okay. Okay." I say wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I can do that, I will make it my mission to keep that man away from my son, at least until I know what is wrong with him.
"What's with him?" Susan asks, gesturing towards the door in which Carter just exited through. "Yeah, I have been watching him. He's being a prick." Chen added.
"I don't know. He won't tell me, anything at all." I say sadly. Chen and Susan look at each other and nod, "yeah sometimes he can be weird, he'll come around though." Susan assures me, she and Chen get up at the same time and toss out their coffee cups leaving me and my thoughts. I am really worried about him, I hope he is okay, he has been acting weird towards everyone so maybe it is not just me. Although he does seem annoyed with me in particular lately. "Hey mom." Bryce walks into the lounge letting the door swing behind him. He went back to school today, he needed to go back, see his friends, get back in his regular routine. "Hey kiddo." He sits across from me and smiles.
"Uh- Carter said he was off now. I'm going to hang out with him okay?" He starts to rise.
"No." I say firmly. He will hate me for this, but I just can't have him hanging around Carter, not right now. If Carter wanted to come over for dinner he could, but I don't want Bryce and Carter hanging out alone. "No?" He questions.
"Yeah, I want you to stay here with me today, I get off in an hour, you won't have long to wait. You can get started on your homework, I know you're anxious to get it done." I smile throwing my cup out.
"I want to go with Carter." He argues.
"No Bryce, now sit down and get your homework done. I don't want to hear one more word about it." I lecture, he sits down grumpily.
"Hey you coming with me-" Carter walks through the doors. He sees me and stops mid sentence. "I can't" Bryce brats.
"What?" He seems astonished.
"I want him to stay here with me. Spend sometime together." I tell Carter calmly, as not to flip him off the handle. "Why? You have work. Why doesn't he just come with me? It makes more sense." He gets closer, his voice shaky and angry.
"Because, he is my son, and I want my son with me." I back away from him a little frightened. "Are you doing this to punish me?" He shouts, I look at Bryce who seems a little scared. "Bryce go out and sit in the waiting area." I don't take my eyes of Carter, but I notice that Bryce leaves. "I am not trying to punish you John." He scoffs at this, and runs his fingers through his hair. He does that a lot lately. "The hell you aren't." He takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. "You're mad because you know deep down inside, you know I don't really love you." I am completely shocked. The tears come to the brim of my eyes. "What?" I whisper, barely audible.
"You heard me. I don't love you. You were right before you are nothing but a good fuck. I got closer to Bryce though, he's a cool kid, you-" He shakes his head laughing. "You are just a bitch. A self righteous, inconsiderate bitch." He slams his fist up against the locker. "Fuck you." I whisper it at first. "FUCK YOU! And stay the hell away from Bryce, I swear to god Carter you go any where near him and I'll have the cops all over your fucking ass." I storm out of the lounge, Bryce is hanging out with Alex, he's safe.
~*~
"I'm off." I toss the last chart in the pile and head into the lounge to retrieve my son and get my belongings. I open the door. Its empty. Where did Bryce go? The roof maybe? Frank will know, he probably saw him walk by. I leave the lounge and head towards the admit desk. "Hey Frank," he looks up at me. "Did you see where Bryce went?" I ask leaning up against the desk. "Carter took him." I know my face fell, because Frank gave me a weird look. "When?" I stand up straight. I had been in a trauma for at least an hour and a half, I had to work later then expected. "When he left, after his shift was over." I can't believe this, he has my son. I pick up my cell phone and hit his speed dial number. "Hello?"
"John." I storm into the lounge preparing to pick my son up right away. "Where the hell are you?" I continue.
"I am at the mansion." He states simply.
"Where the fuck is Bryce?" I am pretty much screaming now.
"Jesus Abby, calm down. He can hear you screaming through the phone." I can't believe this. "I want him NOW!!!" I screech, tears are filling my eyes.
"Let me feed him-"
"No John, I want him now." He goes silent, he is starting to take me seriously I guess.
"I'll bring him by your place."
"No. I'll come get him." I respond slamming the phone shut. I rush out of the ER and onto the EL. I can't believe he did this. Well actually I can. The old Carter wouldn't have, but the new one seems to take pleasure out of hurting and hating me. I don't know what has gotten into him. I don't think I did anything to upset him recently. I mean there is the whole drinking aspect, but I haven't had a drink in a week. I am doing well. I am happy, Bryce is staying with me now. He spent a little while with Carter, but now I think I am most definitely the most stable out of the two of us. He is going to end up so screwed up, years of therapy could not reverse what I have done to my son. I am a horrible mother.
The train comes to a halt, I get up and rush out of the packed train. I head towards the rich neighbour hood. I don't know if Carter and I are broken up or not. I believe we are, and god it hurts so badly, more then it should, especially considering the ways he has been treating me lately. I head up the long path towards the Carter mansion. I make my way up to the door and bang on it angrily. The door swings open and there stands Carter. "Hey." He says softly.
"Don't hey me. Where the hell is my son." I shout, pushing my way into the house.
"You just have to listen to me!" He states getting in my face, I try to push him away, but he grabs my hands, holding onto them he holds them at my sides. "I don't have to listen to you! BRYCE!" I screech, tears falling down my face. I see him come thumping into the room, Carter still has not removed his hands from my wrists, he turns and sees Bryce giving him a scared look, then quickly releases me. "Let's go." I say reaching for Bryce, he comes with me quickly, running to put his shoes and jacket on. He knows something is wrong. I grab his hand and we walk down the path, I can feel Carter watching us, wrap my arms around Bryce's shoulder and we continue to walk until we are off of the Carter property. "What's wrong with Carter mom?" Bryce's face has fell. The man he once looked up to and admired, has changed drastically. "I don't know baby." I put my hand on the back of his neck pulling him towards me for a comforting hug. "Is he sick like Maggie and Eric?" He says through tears.
"No. I don't think so." I have never thought of that though. What if he is bi polar? I mean he could be. His moods change much too frequently for that though, unless he has an extreme case of it, and just started going off his meds. "I thought he was going to hurt you mom." He looks up at me with tear stained cheeks.
"No. He would never do that." I lie. At least not intentionally.
"Okay. I just want to go home, and stay away from him till he is better." He says a faint smile on his lips. "Okay. Okay." I say wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I can do that, I will make it my mission to keep that man away from my son, at least until I know what is wrong with him.