Title: The Slayer Bride Part 5/?
Author: Lora Darcy
Email: lora_darcy@yahoo.com
Notes: Finally, at long last, a new chappie! *insert trumpet fanfare* Yayness. Please, PLEASE review. Really, it just makes such a difference when you contact me. Any comments you can give –any at all– would be wicked useful. So please, submit reviews. Or send me an email. Whichever. Just please give me feedback!
Chapter Four: The Courtship
Four of them met in her dressing room, the unofficial "oval office" of the Sunnydale mansion. Princess Glorificus, her partner-in-evil, Angelus, her mother, the insane Queen Drusilla, and the Prince-Consort Daniel Osbourne, her unobtrusive and not-quite-so-wicked stepfather.
Daniel Osbourne was a werewolf. And played guitar in a band. He was considered, more or less, to be the coolest person in the kingdom and had married the Queen before she had gone completely batty. Glory (and the rest of the kingdom) only ever called him Oz.
"Okay then," Glory said when they were all together. She stood in front of three full-length mirrors (as she did for all necessary meetings) admiring herself and her latest ensemble. "Who do I have to marry? Let's just find who's not too smart, can look good in a tux, and get it done. Newsflash: I have more important things to do right now."
Insane Queen Drusilla said, "Miss Edith wants a party. But she can't or else the tea will spill everywhere. She doesn't know what to do!" Only Dru didn't talk to anyone in the room, but talked to Glory's dresser. And, in true Drusilla fashion, the Miss Edith she constantly talked about wasn't really a person, as much as an old doll.
Oz was the only person who ever bothered to try and understand Drusilla. Everyone else simply rolled their eyes, reminded themselves that the Queen was clearly loopy, and went on with their conversations. "She wants you to find someone who's pretty easy-going," Oz guessed. Unfortunately for him, Oz never translated Drusilla's comments correctly. Then again, no one really seemed to mind. Drusilla didn't care, Glory didn't care, the kingdom didn't care. Despite the rather large odds against his translations, Oz still went on. He figured someone had to try and make the Queen feel included. Even if she was insane.
"I don't care who we choose," Glory snapped. "Find me somebody! He just as to look nice and smell normal, that's all I care about."
Then Angelus stepped forward. "You say all you want is someone good looking. What if he doesn't like fighting?"
"The less violent, the better," Glorificus replied, starting to pace in front of her mirrors.
"What if he likes basketball?" Angelus went on. (Yes, Sunnydale inhabitants had discovered their own variation of basketball. Other than the name, however, the sport has little connection to today's hoops. Their basketball was played with balls of peanut-butter, the smoother the spread, the harder the game.)
"I don't care if he's an absolute moron who spends all his free time studying cheese," Glory said. "Search everywhere and get me someone so good looking that everyone else will be jealous."
Angelus smiled wickedly. "No problem. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've already found a winner."
He went over to Glory's "bookshelf," which consisted of about eight different women's magazines, a Complete Idiot's Guide to Maiming, and the Harry Potter books (Glory was quite fond of that Voldey guy), and pulled out a copy of People Magazine's Fifty Most Beautiful People edition. "What about this guy?" He asked, flipping through the pages until he found a photograph of Riley Finn. "No one will snicker over him, I think. Although he does lack a little…. something. Too tan?"
Glory shrugged. "He'll do. Not like I want to love him. Just want to marry him." She sighed. "Now go and get him. I want to go watch Jonathan try to feed my hyena people. He just gets so scared!" She laughed and walked out of the room. With the upcoming nuptials, she had no idea when she would next be able to mock her crypt's keeper. Things were about to get *very* busy.
A/N: Okay. Made a few minor changes to this part to update things a bit. Hope to have a new chappie up soon as well. (January 4, 2004).