"Are there post cards in rehab?"
"What?" I give Bryce a look and he shrugs.
"I mean do they have post cards that the patients can mail to their family and friends saying things like 'be glad you're not here.' or 'in the loony bin and lovin' it.'" I roll my eyes at him. Susan starts to laugh. Bryce has been taking it pretty hard since Carter left, I tried to keep it from him the exact reason why John left, but you can't exactly keep secrets at county. Ever since he found out he has been making jokes, acting like it does not bother him, but it does. It bothers him as much, if not more then it bothers me. "Bryce-" I sigh, "go do something useful." He walks away, and I cringe. I wish things could have turned out differently, but they didn't. "Dr. Wycenzki." Gallant comes up from behind me and hands me a chart. "For you." He smiles.
"Thanks Gallant." I see Susan watching me, and she gives me a sympathetic smile. "How you holding up?"
"Fine, great even." Its not that much of a lie, its more truthful today then it would have been had I said it a month or two ago. I really am doing better. I do think about John a lot, but he has moved on. He lives in Boston now, with his father and has a new position there. I no longer drink, Bryce is doing okay in school. Things are good. I do miss him though, I would be lying if I said I didn't. I toss the chart to the side and head for the lounge, Bryce and I are going to get some dinner, he sees me and gets up. "So mom- do you think he will ever come back?" Kerry just informed us all yesterday that Carter was living Boston, and Bryce has had a tough time wrapping his mind around it. "Do you want him too?" I ask, I have wondered this for a while, how much Bryce misses Carter. "Sometimes." e sighs, then runs his fingers through his short hair, just like Carter. "But he hurt us, he hurt you. I do think we are all better off with out him." I nod, and together we walk towards the restaurant. I think loosing Carter has brought Bryce and I closer together. He relies on me more now, and tells me more. We walk into the restaurant, Bryce holds the door for me, we grab a table close to the washroom, its the ritual now. Everything is close to the washroom now a days.
"How's school?" I ask why glancing through the menu.
"Not bad, boring." He looks at me, our eyes lock and I know something is up. "What's wrong Bryce." I sigh.
"You promise you won't get mad?"
"What did you blow up now?" I sigh.
"Nothing, at least not today, but when I dropped by the house today, I picked up the mail and there was this." He holds out an envelope. Its from Carter to Bryce.
"A rehab postcard?" I say looking at it questioningly. He shakes his head.
"Just a letter, I wanted a rehab post card, that way could hang it on the fridge." He laughs. "Just read it mom." He says thrusting it towards me. I nervously open it. I don't know why I am doing this, its not to me its to Bryce, but there is obviously a reason he wants me to read this.
Dear Bryce,
Hey kiddo how have you been? I know it has been a while since we have seen each other, or spoken. I must say you are the person I miss the most out here, I think about you a lot, wondering if you are okay. If your mom is okay, but mostly you. You are such a great kid, I want you to know that, and never forget it. I leave here in two days, I have a position waiting for me at a hospital in Boston, so we may never see each other again. I just wanted to tell you I love you, and no matter what happens in life I will be there for you.
I am sorry that your mother and I did not work out, that we had so many problems her being an alcoholic took a toll on you, I hope to god she isn't drinking again for you. I don't want her to be the one that screws your life up.
Saying that I think I did a lot of damage to you too, for that I am sorry.
I am moving into a nice little condo, and I want you to tell your mom that the place you guys are living in is paid off, forever. You never have to worry about anything. On the subject of your mother, I want you to know that I really do love her, I think I always will, but we were destructive together, I am not sure why. We tore each other apart. I know how badly you wanted us to be together, but in the end, this way is better. Maybe she will meet someone she can be happy with, I hope I will. To me you will always be my child. Even if I never see you again. If anyone asks if I have a son, I say yes his name is Bryce.
Anyways, be good, and good luck with Dylan, take care of your mother.
I love you,
Love
John Carter.
I close the letter and shove it back into the envelope. "I don't care mom." He says looking me in the eye. "You are my only parent. A parent would not do that to their child. You love me, he, just thinks he does." Bryce leans back in his chair and shakes his head.
"Just promise me, we won't hurt each other anymore." I can see he is about to cry, as am I. "We won't baby, but we may fight." I laugh.
"Fighting is expected." He sighs. He gets up from the table and gives me a hug. I can't believe how much we have been through over the last couple of months, but I now know, no matter what, we will always be together. I will always have my son. I don't want him to hate Carter though, I want him to realize that Carter did what was the best for himself, and as much as he hurt us both, he would have hurt us more by staying here. Bryce sits back down at the table, "You think he will write again?" He says as the waitress comes around, we quickly order, a large pizza with pepperoni and anchovies I have really been craving them lately. "I don't know." I sigh, "maybe you should write him back." He looks at me in disbelief. "No, and he's not there anymore."
"They could probably send it to his new place." I explain calmly.
"You should write," He suggests. I laugh and then look at him,
"He didn't write to me." He nods understanding. I watch him for awhile, he is quiet and looking down at the table cloth. "Can we not talk about Carter anymore mom?"
"Sure, we can talk about whatever you want!" I smile. "Okay good." He looks relieved. "I miss him though." I look him in the eye, this is the first time he has ever been this blunt about something. "Me too." I agree.
" If I write to him can I-"
"Bryce, lets do what you said and change the subject to something else." He nods and smiles at me. "Dylan liked the ring, thanks for picking it out." He smiles, it was her birthday a few days ago, Bryce and I went shopping and found her a pretty little heart ring, I offered to pay, but he insisted he pay with the money he has been saving up. "Good, I'm glad." I smile. I look down at the ring on my finger, I guess that was a promise that we both couldn't keep.
I am surprised that he paid off the condo though, it gives me one less thing to worry about, we will move out of there in due time though, I just received a pay increase and we need a bigger space now, but I will always remember what he did for me and Bryce. He definitely was a good guy, he made me happy, and he made Bryce happy. My true love maybe? I am a little upset to read that he is looking for someone new, I sigh and look at my son, who is smiling widely, I don't need anyone else, I have everything I could ever need right here.
"What?" I give Bryce a look and he shrugs.
"I mean do they have post cards that the patients can mail to their family and friends saying things like 'be glad you're not here.' or 'in the loony bin and lovin' it.'" I roll my eyes at him. Susan starts to laugh. Bryce has been taking it pretty hard since Carter left, I tried to keep it from him the exact reason why John left, but you can't exactly keep secrets at county. Ever since he found out he has been making jokes, acting like it does not bother him, but it does. It bothers him as much, if not more then it bothers me. "Bryce-" I sigh, "go do something useful." He walks away, and I cringe. I wish things could have turned out differently, but they didn't. "Dr. Wycenzki." Gallant comes up from behind me and hands me a chart. "For you." He smiles.
"Thanks Gallant." I see Susan watching me, and she gives me a sympathetic smile. "How you holding up?"
"Fine, great even." Its not that much of a lie, its more truthful today then it would have been had I said it a month or two ago. I really am doing better. I do think about John a lot, but he has moved on. He lives in Boston now, with his father and has a new position there. I no longer drink, Bryce is doing okay in school. Things are good. I do miss him though, I would be lying if I said I didn't. I toss the chart to the side and head for the lounge, Bryce and I are going to get some dinner, he sees me and gets up. "So mom- do you think he will ever come back?" Kerry just informed us all yesterday that Carter was living Boston, and Bryce has had a tough time wrapping his mind around it. "Do you want him too?" I ask, I have wondered this for a while, how much Bryce misses Carter. "Sometimes." e sighs, then runs his fingers through his short hair, just like Carter. "But he hurt us, he hurt you. I do think we are all better off with out him." I nod, and together we walk towards the restaurant. I think loosing Carter has brought Bryce and I closer together. He relies on me more now, and tells me more. We walk into the restaurant, Bryce holds the door for me, we grab a table close to the washroom, its the ritual now. Everything is close to the washroom now a days.
"How's school?" I ask why glancing through the menu.
"Not bad, boring." He looks at me, our eyes lock and I know something is up. "What's wrong Bryce." I sigh.
"You promise you won't get mad?"
"What did you blow up now?" I sigh.
"Nothing, at least not today, but when I dropped by the house today, I picked up the mail and there was this." He holds out an envelope. Its from Carter to Bryce.
"A rehab postcard?" I say looking at it questioningly. He shakes his head.
"Just a letter, I wanted a rehab post card, that way could hang it on the fridge." He laughs. "Just read it mom." He says thrusting it towards me. I nervously open it. I don't know why I am doing this, its not to me its to Bryce, but there is obviously a reason he wants me to read this.
Dear Bryce,
Hey kiddo how have you been? I know it has been a while since we have seen each other, or spoken. I must say you are the person I miss the most out here, I think about you a lot, wondering if you are okay. If your mom is okay, but mostly you. You are such a great kid, I want you to know that, and never forget it. I leave here in two days, I have a position waiting for me at a hospital in Boston, so we may never see each other again. I just wanted to tell you I love you, and no matter what happens in life I will be there for you.
I am sorry that your mother and I did not work out, that we had so many problems her being an alcoholic took a toll on you, I hope to god she isn't drinking again for you. I don't want her to be the one that screws your life up.
Saying that I think I did a lot of damage to you too, for that I am sorry.
I am moving into a nice little condo, and I want you to tell your mom that the place you guys are living in is paid off, forever. You never have to worry about anything. On the subject of your mother, I want you to know that I really do love her, I think I always will, but we were destructive together, I am not sure why. We tore each other apart. I know how badly you wanted us to be together, but in the end, this way is better. Maybe she will meet someone she can be happy with, I hope I will. To me you will always be my child. Even if I never see you again. If anyone asks if I have a son, I say yes his name is Bryce.
Anyways, be good, and good luck with Dylan, take care of your mother.
I love you,
Love
John Carter.
I close the letter and shove it back into the envelope. "I don't care mom." He says looking me in the eye. "You are my only parent. A parent would not do that to their child. You love me, he, just thinks he does." Bryce leans back in his chair and shakes his head.
"Just promise me, we won't hurt each other anymore." I can see he is about to cry, as am I. "We won't baby, but we may fight." I laugh.
"Fighting is expected." He sighs. He gets up from the table and gives me a hug. I can't believe how much we have been through over the last couple of months, but I now know, no matter what, we will always be together. I will always have my son. I don't want him to hate Carter though, I want him to realize that Carter did what was the best for himself, and as much as he hurt us both, he would have hurt us more by staying here. Bryce sits back down at the table, "You think he will write again?" He says as the waitress comes around, we quickly order, a large pizza with pepperoni and anchovies I have really been craving them lately. "I don't know." I sigh, "maybe you should write him back." He looks at me in disbelief. "No, and he's not there anymore."
"They could probably send it to his new place." I explain calmly.
"You should write," He suggests. I laugh and then look at him,
"He didn't write to me." He nods understanding. I watch him for awhile, he is quiet and looking down at the table cloth. "Can we not talk about Carter anymore mom?"
"Sure, we can talk about whatever you want!" I smile. "Okay good." He looks relieved. "I miss him though." I look him in the eye, this is the first time he has ever been this blunt about something. "Me too." I agree.
" If I write to him can I-"
"Bryce, lets do what you said and change the subject to something else." He nods and smiles at me. "Dylan liked the ring, thanks for picking it out." He smiles, it was her birthday a few days ago, Bryce and I went shopping and found her a pretty little heart ring, I offered to pay, but he insisted he pay with the money he has been saving up. "Good, I'm glad." I smile. I look down at the ring on my finger, I guess that was a promise that we both couldn't keep.
I am surprised that he paid off the condo though, it gives me one less thing to worry about, we will move out of there in due time though, I just received a pay increase and we need a bigger space now, but I will always remember what he did for me and Bryce. He definitely was a good guy, he made me happy, and he made Bryce happy. My true love maybe? I am a little upset to read that he is looking for someone new, I sigh and look at my son, who is smiling widely, I don't need anyone else, I have everything I could ever need right here.