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wow, thanks so much for the response… nice to know that it wasn't too creepy

2.

She can't help but wonder whether he will be online today. She was never one to get sucked up in the world of the internet but ever since her discovery of extreme normalcy that went on continuously under her nose, she couldn't help herself. And now that someone has tagged her, identified her, analyzed her… she isn't sure how she feels about that.

He's not online. She thinks that she should have been relieved that he's not here so that she can continue…spying –always spying- on the lives of others. She had thought that she was invisible. No one had noticed bleedingphoenix before.

At first, she was glad.

But now she knows that the little trill that runs through her body is actually one of regret and disappointment. The idea of a man wanting to uncover her secrets with no idea of what secrets they may be is appealing to her.

And Fate complies, perhaps for the only time in her life, and she sees his name blink onto the list suddenly… as quickly as it had sprung into her life.

She waits tersely, wavering in silent conflict. Wait for him. Make the first move. I told him I didn't want to be analyzed. But I want to be talked to. Talk first… he said he likes you. No, I want him to talk first. I could but I want him to. That's the point.

peoplesay: let me guess. you came online specifically in hopes that you would see me.

She had to laugh.

BleedingPhoenix: cocky

peoplesay: so i hear

peoplesay: so what's your name anyway?


She's a little too quick to answer, a little too insistent in her reply but it is sincere. She doesn't want this to be real.

BleedingPhoenix: NO

BleedingPhoenix: no names. ever.

peoplesay: when are you going to learn to open yourself up?

BleedingPhoenix: i doubt that you would be the person I would choose to release the torrents of my soul even if I want to. why should I let you in

peoplesay: because you want to. because it's easier to do it when there aren't names involved… I'm guessing that that's why you want things to remain nameless. there are things easier said when the other person is not going to judge, aren't there?

BleedingPhoenix: you're not exactly a familiar person and I would like to inform you that your insistent attitude and persistent probing into my life is actually kind of scary.

peoplesay: would you like to start over?

She laughs. How can you start over when there is no beginning? Like… like with Vaughn… that didn't really have a beginning either. That had irritated her, mostly because they had both wanted to be in charge… with him being right. As he always was.

SYDNEY: You said you wanted to talk about the plan. I'm giving you the plan.

VAUGHN: It's not your job to give me the plan. I'm giving you the plan. Tomorrow's your first day back at SD-6. Now, nothing should change. When you get your assignment, you'll detail your mission on a paper bag. Bag. Then you'll call this number. Memorize it. After three tones, press the appropriate digit -- one through six. Each corresponds to a trash can in a specific location. Now we'll review your information, create a countermission, and we'll contact you posing as a wrong number. Joey's Pizza. Any questions, so far?

SYDNEY: Yeah. Can you show me what a bag looks like again?

But thinking about Vaughn makes her heart hurt.

Thinking about Vaughn is what got her addicted to normalcy in the first place.

BleedingPhoenix: I don't think we ever really began, stalker

peoplesay: stalker? What ever happened to Samaritan?

Her brow furrows.

BleedingPhoenix: if you think I'm just some sort of project… I'm not a weak person.

peoplesay: you're not invincible either

BleedingPhoenix: why are you pretending that you know me? you don't know me at all and I don't see how you can presume to know a person's entire personality merely because they haven't felt like talking in chat rooms. I might have been constipated in the bathroom for all you knew.

peoplesay: every day for a month? that's some bad constipation. Here's some advice: whatever you're eating, stop eating it.

She has to suppress her smile then and when she realizes that her cheeks hurt, she knows that it's been too long since her last smile… her last facial expression even.

God she wished she had a reason to smile.

BleedingPhoenix: funny.

peoplesay: my one good quality I'm afraid. Everything else about me, I've been told, is creepy.

BleedingPhoenix: you have to admit that this is a strange… relationship

peoplesay: to clear things up, I'm not a stalker, liar, prostitute, God, Satan, an alcoholic, a druggie, mentally challenged, or out to get you. I promise.

BleedingPhoenix: or you could be a liar and lying.

peoplesay: do you think I'm lying?

Does she?

peoplesay: wow.. taking a long time to answer. I'm hurt.

BleedingPhoenix: I don't have a good enough base of your character.

peoplesay: go with instinct

She isn't even sure if she can trust her instincts anymore

BleedingPhoenix: then no. I don't think you're lying. But you should know that my instincts are just about shot to hell.

peoplesay: yeah mine too.

There's a lull in the conversation and she wants to talk again because she discovers that in engaging in this, she has become normal. Not just pretending to be or spying on the normal. But one of them.

BleedingPhoenix: so… what do people say?

peoplesay: oh god. i was wondering when that was going to come up. Can I just bury myself right now?

And that does it. She's smiling. She feels engaged, involved, someone is about to tell her something that embarrasses him and feeling confided in is delicious. She can see now how frustrated Francie was. Great friend she turned out to be.

BleedingPhoenix: No. you have to tell me. i can't wait

peoplesay: how bout I just tell you that it was a drunken drunken night?

BleedingPhoenix: hmm… I'll let you off the hook now but the story will come out sooner or later.

peoplesay: I'm sure it will.

She pauses.

BleedingPhoenix: By the way, I'm glad you're not God.

TBC…

Review please~