TITLE: Chat
AUTHOR: Jennyfer
CHAPTER: 15.2 (2/2)
DEDICATIONS: To my ZAP-ers, readers, reviewers, delurkers (kate003 ), my friends… to all y'all~ you rock my world!

But thanks especially to Katiqua and Speedy who were my okay-ers/betas for this chap… you guys ARE SO AWESOME!!!!!!

Also to Jen *LittleSyd*

LYRICS: "I Shall Believe"

The Storm


Titles:

15.1 - The Calm
15.2 - The Storm


("The Calm" before "The Storm" get it? Haha… I crack myself up…)





15.2





"Lying here in your arms... knowing that this isn't a dream that I can wake up from... hoping that my knowledge is correct."

He could barely breathe. "Really?"

"Yeah. I love you... did you know that?"

He lifted his fingers and brushed away the strands of hair that lay on her cheek. "How do you know?"

She sighed softly, burrowed a little deeper into the crook of his neck. "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because your reality is better than any dream you could have."






"Ahem."

The voice was loud, too loud for the room, too intrusive to be real and messing up this one perfect moment in time.

"Agent Vaughn, may I see you outside for a moment?"

Stressing the "Agent" as if that would remind him that there is a word called protocol. As if it would make him suddenly change his mind about what decisions he had made, what changes he had made to his life... what rulebooks he had thrown out the window.

He turned his head back to Sydney, watched her watching him with eyes that weren't so clear, weren't so sure anymore.

Still loved him.

Still loved her.

"I'll be right back."

She nodded.

He eased himself off the bed, out of her arms, missing the warmth of her body next to his like he would miss his own heartbeat.

"What is it?"

Eyes narrowed.

She only heard a sentence of the conversation before the door closed.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?"

She had been sure then, had been sure that there would be voices raised, doors slamming open, a raging Michael Vaughn coming through the door and holding her to him possessively, saying loudly that he would never give her up.

Would never leave her.

Would never give up on her.

Promise me

You won't give up on me

And I shall believe




Knowing her life, she should have seen it coming.

Knowing her figurative language, English student that she was, she should have seen the closing door as a symbol, a metaphor for all the light and laughter of her life... so recently gotten... being shut out forever.

Knowing the CIA, she should have known that they would never have allowed this.



She knew this.

But didn't believe it.


Because she thought she knew Michael Vaughn.
And she thought he knew her.
And wouldn't care anymore about words written on a page.


Didn't expect a pale looking man coming back through the door, pain in his eyes, uncertainty weighing down his heart, knowledge that nothing would dull the pain, nothing would hide the truth...

no use in trying
you will fail
don't even try
it won't work
she'll know
she knows already

She looked up then, the light of what had just happened still showing up innocent in her eyes... he was still the man she loved. The man who loved her back.

He turned, his voice unnatural. "Can I have a minute please?"

The door clicked shut.

The room was silent.

The universe stood still.

She didn't understand the tears in his eyes.

Her hand lifted off the bed, laid itself gently on his arm.

Whisper.

"Vaughn?"

Tears in his eyes.

He moved away, her hand fell back onto the sheets. Worry alighted her eyes then, fear filled her heart, anguished flooded her throat and her eyes were blank, automatically compartmentalizing, instinctively knowing what would come, what would hurt, what would maim, what would kill...

Her jaw clenched as her vision blurred unnaturally.

Distortion.

Her teeth hurt.

"Tell me... Tell me it's alright."


Even if it's a lie.

Say it will be all right.

And I shall believe.


"Syd..."

What's that look on your face?

The sadness
the anguish
the loss of self
the loss of the light that you had in you
the light i thought i put it you
why is it gone
did i put it out

tell me what's going on

no don't

just tell me it's all right

just
hold
me

"Vaughn...?"

He cleared his throat. "Agent Bristow... I sincerely hope that you will get better soon and that we will see eachother again soon when you are in better shape. "

monotone doesn't fit you

He turned to the door.

when you lie your left hand shakes a little.
your left is shaking
don't lie to me

"You can't do this."

He turned around, defeated. He knew that this would be the case... knew that he wouldn't be able to erase all the words said, the emotion felt, the love shared. He wasn't even trying anymore.

Only words.

There were only words.

And they didn't mean s***.


He lowered his face so that it's pointing towards the ground and spoke quickly, his back towards her. "We can't do this, you know we can't do this."



she is shocked she is frozen she is angry she has no idea what the hell she is supposed to do

"Yes you can. Yes we can. You can't walk out on me now."



He turned around, a smile as cheap as paper plastered on his face. "You look better already."

your eyes give you away



"Stop it. Stop it. What did he say to you?"

He walked towards the bed, took her hand in his.

Gave her momentary hope.

He was back.

There was the look of truth in his eyes.

"Tell me that we're going to be okay." Her voice was a whisper.

"I can't."

"Tell me."

"Syd... I... I can't."

we won't

He moved to leave but she grabbed onto his arm... a final desperation. "What happened out there?"

He kissed her forehead.

"Goodbye, Agent Bristow. I'll see you soon."

broken
empty
what happened
it was so good
how could it all fall apart
doesn't make sense
what could happen in two minutes
you know what love is when you don't want to go to sleep
reality was better than any dream
dreams shattered
broken
empty
what happened
tell me
torn
explain
i don't understand
where are you
the sky seems to be gone





















tbc...

more?



i know that the writing style was really weird... i usually don't write all choppy like that... well at least not ALL the time but i had no idea about this chapter and i knew it wasn't going to come on it's own so i had to do my "let's randomly start this and see where we're going" thing again...

i have to read it over and if it still sucks... i'll probably post it anyway and just fix it later~



-jenn