Title: Chat
Author: Jennyfer, Vaughn's Jenn, Jennifer, Jenn, Olivia... me
Chapter: 17
Dedications: as stated before, this thread is dedicated to JJ in hopes that he will see it and feel the need to owe me something... meaning either S/V lovin' or a really REALLY REALLY good reason why not (ex: MV meeting me might be acceptable)

Lol~ Chapter Dedications:
FF.NET
Tascha
"Me"
Jayme

SD-1
Steph [spaztic]
denise*
Cat [Blue Moon]
quack!
tessa
shammi... your avatar is SO BANGABLE (i even saved it... if you ever change it... )




17.


Words






BleedingPhoenix: I don't want to be caught.
peoplesay: yes you do.

BleedingPhoenix: What? How could you even believe for a second that you have the right to presume something like that?

i never want to be caught
because if you have been caught
you can be let go
and i don't like being let go.
it hurts.
i'd rather keep on running.

peoplesay: you want to be caught. You just also want to be sure. You're past believing in fairytales now; you're past believing in chance meetings, in love at first sight, you're past wanting to be surprised, past wanting someone in control of what you do.
peoplesay: In fact... what you really want... is to have the semblance of surprise... the ability to pretend that you have a perfect romance where you and the man you're with are so perfect that you'll never leave eachother. While somehow still knowing that you're in control. So that you can have your romance without the risk of a broken heart.


...

peoplesay: you're supposed to be able to keep on living.

...

BleedingPhoenix: why does it seem like you know me? Do you know me?
peoplesay: you said that there was something about me. maybe there is. But how can i know if i know you if I don't even know your name?
BleedingPhoenix: I guess you can't.

...

Why did you write that? It's so depressing... you have no right to do that.

No right in investing your emotions into something else.

Someone else.

Especially when they have the power to dump you.

peoplesay: no. you're wrong.
BleedingPhoenix: what?
peoplesay: I was about to stop... give up like I almost did those couple days ago in the chatroom...

And? Go on. She bites her lip.

BleedingPhoenix: ... and?
peoplesay: and all of the sudden, shakespeare popped into my head.
BleedingPhoenix: shakespeare?
BleedingPhoenix: ... ???
peoplesay: a rose by any other name...

Oh.

She doesn't know what to say... or feel... or do.

What else was there?

peoplesay: The only factual information I have on you is the city you live. But that's not important anyway. I can see your emotions, I can tell the kind of person you are.
BleedingPhoenix: And what kind of person am i?

peoplesay:strong.

peoplesay: unbelievable controlled.

peoplesay: gorgeous.

She can't fight the little smile.

Can't help hoping that the person on the other side of the screen isn't some hunched 70 year old. Despite the fact that appearances don't matter... they do. A little.

though it doesn't matter anyway
just words
words mean nothing
close to nothing
vaughn's words
meant nothing
but words are so powerful
this is all just words
slowly healing me

BleedingPhoenix: you can't tell I'm gorgeous.
peoplesay: I can tell.
BleedingPhoenix: I'm not
peoplesay: your words make you gorgeous.
BleedingPhoenix: words can be deceptive.

peoplesay: not when there's true emotion lying behind them. no one can use words falsely if they truly believe in them.

"Tell me... Tell me it's alright."


Even if it's a lie.

Say it will be all right.

And I shall believe.


"Syd..."

What's that look on your face?

The sadness
the anguish
the loss of self
the loss of the light that you had in you
the light i thought i put it you
why is it gone
did i put it out

tell me what's going on

no don't

just tell me it's all right

just
hold
me

"Vaughn...?"

He cleared his throat. "Agent Bristow... I sincerely hope that you will get better soon and that we will see eachother again soon when you are in better shape. "

monotone doesn't fit you

He turned to the door.

when you lie your left hand shakes a little.
your left is shaking
don't lie to me

"You can't do this."

He turned around, a smile as cheap as paper plastered on his face. "You look better already."

your eyes give you away

"Tell me that we're going to be okay." Her voice was a whisper.

"I can't."

"Tell me."

"Syd... I... I can't."

"Goodbye, Agent Bristow. I'll see you soon."

BleedingPhoenix: yes they can. and it the fact that you know that they are lies when it hurts the most.

peoplesay: then it affects...on both sides.
BleedingPhoenix: i doubt it.

peoplesay: you doubt too much.

BleedingPhoenix: I have my reasons.

"Goodbye, Agent Bristow. I'll see you soon."

broken
empty
what happened
it was so good
how could it all fall apart
doesn't make sense
what could happen in two minutes
you know what love is when you don't want to go to sleep
reality was better than any dream
dreams shattered
broken
empty
what happened
tell me
torn
explain
i don't understand
where are you
the sky seems to be gone

She shakes her head. She has to get rid of these thoughts.

They have to stop plaguing her.

She has to move on.

Her heart has to heal.

She has to keep on living.

Keep on living, breathing, reacting, sensing, knowing, feeling...

BleedingPhoenix: and you?
peoplesay: am i gorgeous?

She smiles... laughs a little inside.

BleedingPhoenix: sure.
peoplesay: i might be biased.
BleedingPhoenix: towards good or bad?
peoplesay: no comment

The room feels lighter somehow.

The nightmare is receding.

She can breathe.

BleedingPhoenix: what about you? What about your life?
peoplesay: why are you interested?

She bites her lip.

She knows now.

She just isn't sure if she wants to admit it.

BleedingPhoenix: because your saving me.
peoplesay: you spelled "you're" wrong by the way.

BleedingPhoenix:... you're so anal.
peoplesay: that would be the correct use of the word "you're"

She laughs, shakes her head.

BleedingPhoenix: shut up.
BleedingPhoenix: you're just changing the subject. what do you have to hide?
peoplesay: what? me? I'm not hiding anything~
peoplesay: I lived in Ecuador until i was around fifteen, moved here, met you... those are basically the highlights.




















tbc...

more?

(finally used the spoiler i gave you guys in thread 7 lol! )

tell me if you hate it... i'm not as satisfied with it as i have been with other chaps~

-jenn


*don't hate me because of the last sentence... i have a plan... have had a plan since thread 7! *runs and hides**