Guilty Gear Specials
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I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.
I waive the right for you to sue me.
Oh, and just so you know, I am so pro-Bridget/Dizzy, so you shouldn't be surprised to see this pairing appear in my chapters.
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(Here's the first episode of season two/episode six: here we see the Jellyfish Pirates [comprising of Johnny, May, April, and Dizzy], with their good allies Testament and Bridget, taking a gondola to what looks like a luxurious palace in a mountainous region...)
Johnny (all giddy): WOW! I can't believe that this place is going to be the Jellyfish Pirates' first on-land base! I'm just giddy with joy!
Testament: Even though I'm not a pirate myself, (aside) thank God I'm not, (back to the others) I really think that a base would let yourselves be found easily by the officials, wouldn't you think?
Johnny: No.
(Testament stares over to a corner of the gondola, where he sees Dizzy caught in a kiss with her boyfriend, Bridget; Testament is not yet comfortable with the fact that Dizzy is seeing someone who wanted her head in a dead bounty, never mind her kissing said bounty hunter, who looked like a said nun)
Testament (breaking his tension): I need some air. (opens the gondola door; walks right down onto the ground from a good 200 feet) AAAHHH!!! I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU LATER! (plop)
Johnny: Did Testament fall overboard?
Bridget: Afraid he did.
May: Aren't we going to pick him up?
Johnny (voice sounding like he doesn't want to save Testament): Can't stop a gondola...
Dizzy: But... (saddened) What about Testament?
April (pleading tone): C'mon, Johnny!
Johnny: ... Alright, I'll get him. (walks out the gondola as well) I'LL MEET YOU GUYS ON THE TOP! (plop)
(Some time passes, and Johnny and Testament finally reach the palace via walking and hiking onto the mountain, sadly eating Testament's bird, as they were famished. [Why do I keep making Testament's bird die? *shrugs shoulders*])
Johnny (tired): Hey guys...
May (sarcastic): What took you?
Testament: None of your business, filthy human! (coughs up a beak; everyone stares) Enough...
(Three people walk out of the palace and walk towards Johnny)
Slayer: Hello! It's certainly nice to see you.
Johnny: Who the hell are you?
Slayer: I'm Slayer, and these are my associates/potential backstabbers, Millia Rage and Venom. You seem to be moving into this palace.
Venom: Charmed to meet you.
Millia (eying the girls; mostly eyes Bridget): I'm feeling a little like a lesbian right now... (to Johnny) Tell you what: You can take this place with no strings, if I can get one night with that nun-chick over there!
(Bridget is surprised; Dizzy is slightly mad)
Venom: You don't care that she's a woman of the Lord?
Millia: No, not in particular...
Johnny: Um, that's a guy.
Venom: What!? (starts eying) That's not a man! A man wouldn't have such sexy legs!
Millia: I actually agree with contrast-man here. (Because he is black, but has white hair; I don't mean to offend) That's not a man.
Testament: Yes he is!
Slayer: No that person isn't!
Bridget (getting rather angry): I'M A GUY, DAMMIT!!
Venom: Well, if the person him/her self claims that they are male, then we are honest to believe that. (starts eying him) And in that case...
Bridget (glares): Don't even think about it.
Venom (gives up): Well, I tried.
Slayer (breaks the tension): Come! I must show you the palace!
(Some time passes, and, inside, they see an elevator)
Johnny: Ultimate sweet.
(The elevator doors open, pouring out a large stream of blood in the process; this scares May, unnerves Dizzy, and slightly frightens Testament)
Testament: Huh?
Slayer: That's odd...
Venom: Yes... the blood almost always gets off the second floor...
Millia: Or third, when it rains.
Johnny (hand to chin): Well, *tsk* it's tough, but me and my crew can live with that...
May (looks out the window): WOW! A HEDGE MAZE! I THOUGHT THEY WERE LEGENDS! (runs outside)
(Whilst the others continue exploring the house, we see an eager groundskeeper named Potemkin, raking some leaves amidst the aging trees and breezy snow, and, something rips right through his prized maze in a single and powerful line)
Potemkin: What the!?
May (just finished ripping through the hedges): Found a short cut!
Potemkin (about to get flaming mad): WHY YOU-- (calms down; he is now thinking) No, wait. Just wait until you meet her parents, then give them a stern and lecturable POTEMKIN BUSTER!
May: I don't have parents.
Potemkin (taken back a smidge): WHAT THE!? You, you read my mind!? Fascinating. You, my young friend, have the legendary powers of the "May-ning".
May (cynical): Don't you mean "Shining"?
Potemkin (worried; covers May's mouth): Shh. You wanna get sued? Anyway, I have the slight feeling that someone in your party is going to become mad with insanity, and--(May looks at Potemkin in a cynical tone) Yes, I did mean to say it like that. If someone goes insane, use your gift to summon me, and I will protect you, okay?
May: Got it! (thinks to herself as she walks off) Boy, what a nut bag.
(May runs past the leaving three assassins)
Venom: Was it necessary to give this palace to common pirates? I mean, you remember what it did to Zato-sama; it drove him into the shadows to be corrupted by Eddie.
Slayer: True; but I have the feeling that that will not happen again.
Millia: I don't know... I have the feeling that something, will drive that winged broad and her girlfriend to their extremes! (Venom and Slayer look at Millia) What!? Oh, right, I forgot! I just can't see that guy as a guy, when he looks so much like a girl!
Venom: And the voice as well.
Slayer: Enough. Let's say this: If we come back, and they're all dead except for the winged broad and her transvestite boyfriend, I owe you a Coke. Now, (takes off his shoulder cape-thingy) we ride! To the National Assassin's Convention! (Slayer walks in through the cape-thingy)
Venom: I love visiting the N.A.C. I wonder how many I can get for a new Assassin's Guild? (walks in)
Millia: Yeah. I wonder how many male Assassins you'd have sex with? (walks in)
Venom: 10. I mean... s***.
(Let's make a comfortable transition into the next scene, shall we? What appears to be a kitchen...)
Dizzy: Oh no! There's no food here! I can't cook!
Johnny (really likes Dizzy's cooking): WHAT!? NOOOOOOO!!
Bridget: We can go for a few days without food until we get some more, right?
Testament: And I don't need to eat!
Johnny (calm again): Well, I guess we can't always get what we want. C'mon, (grabs May and April) you're helping me find treasure!
May (close to swooning): YAY!!
April (dreamy): Yes, Johnny!
(Some time passes)
Testament (in the middle of a speech): ...And if you ever do something that will upset/and or make Dizzy cry, I will come to your room at night, and slit your throat! You got that?
Bridget (slightly shaky voice): Yes sir.
Dizzy: Testament, please stop it. You know that he will never do any bad to me.
Bridget: That's true. (sarcastic) If I do something bad, you could even disembowel me if you want!
Testament (not seeing the sarcasm): Can I get that in writing?
Johnny (storms in through the door): There's not even a hint of treasure in this old place! (calms down) But, this is not how this Johnny acts. He's a cool and smooth operator.
May: Wow! I admire you even more so for keeping your cool like this!
Johnny (suddenly brandishing his katana; angry tone): I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! (unexpectedly strikes a few objects around the room... and April)
April: AAAHHH!!
May: JOHNNY! STOP IT!
Testament: There's only one way to stop a crazy Johnny (summons a giant vortex): NIGHTMARE CIRCULAR!
(The blast hits Johnny, and he's now out of his delirium)
Johnny (looks around to see that he destroyed a few things, and cut down April): Ow... Oh my God. (he runs away, ashamed by what he did)
(Johnny is now in a room that he called "Johnny's Room", brooding over the slight carnage that he created)
Johnny: What's happening to me!? I've never lost my cool, and I never take it out on my girls! I'm I truly going insane!?
(Suddenly, a ghostly image of Jam Kuradoberi appears in front of him [First time I'm using Jam in this fic])
Jam: Hi Johnny!
Johnny (sees the ghostly Jam): Yes I am!
Jam: JOHNNY! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!
Johnny: Huh?
Jam: Would you like something to eat? (materializes real food in front of him)
Johnny: Oh God! If it will keep me sane, then fatten me up!
Jam: No! Not until you kill your friends and crew members!
Johnny (taken back): What!? Why?
Jam: Because they'd be much happier as ghosts!
Johnny (looks at Jam): Well, despite your cheery look, you don't seem happy!
Jam (giddy): But I am! I get to possess my sweetie, Ky, at night, and do--(interrupts herself) Well, I think I said too much. (grabs Johnny's collar; demon voice) NOW DESTROY THOSE YOU LOVE, AND I'LL GIVE YOU SOME FOOD! (vanishes)
(Some time passes; An empty, slightly darkened room; Testament is looking around for Johnny, until he sees a typewriter on a desk)
Testament: Odd... I thought those were boycotted when some Axl fellow got himself killed by this. (sees a paper on the typewriter) "Starving, and want loot; but all is fine" That's good.
(Lights come on, and Testament is surrounded by hordes of destroyed objects, and pretty mean graffiti, written in blood; Johnny appears behind him)
Testament (knew that something was going to approach him): Johnny! What is the meaning of this!?
Johnny (sounding eerie): Like it? It's the theme for a novel I'm about to write. All I need, is a opening sentence. Somewhere around the lines of "No good food and no treasure make Johnny something something"...
Testament: Become insane?
Johnny: Nope...
Testament: Go crazy?
Johnny: DON'T MIND IF I DO!! (starts laughing maniacally as he uses a Bacchus Sigh to cover Testament in mist)
Testament (sees the mist, but is not yet aware of the danger it will cause him): What the f--(Johnny unsheathes sword) WAAAAAAAH!! (starts hovering away, barely missing a Mist Finer; summons scythe)
Johnny (speaking faster and faster): C'mon Testy, drop the scythe! Drop the scythe! Drop it! Drop scythe! Scythescythescythescythescythe!! Ha ha! Scared you.
Testament: You wish. (makes a demonic look with his face)
Johnny (scared): WAH!! (steps back and trips over a table; falls unconscious)
(Testament drags Johnny into a unseen food storage)
Testament (Death tone): I'm not leaving my precious Dizzy in the hands of a psycho like yourself. It's time to end your life!
May (screaming from a distance): TESTAMENT! JOHNNY! SOMEBODY KILLED APRIL! AND HER BLOOD IS SPLATTERED ALL OVER THE WALLS!
Testament (Death tone): I'll be back for you! (leaves; looks around) And I'll tell Dizzy about this food storage.
(Time passes; Johnny rubs his head, because of the fall, and is eating from some of the food reserves)
Jam voice: Um, Johnny. Me and the other ghouls don't think that the plan is being carried out very well.
Johnny: Can't kill. Eating. Staying sane. Repenting.
Jam voice: Okay, that's it!
(The door bursts open as a ghost Jam, vampire Sol, zombie Axl, Freddy Krueger Faust, Eddie, and Chipp wearing a fur coat grabs Johnny, and he screams bloody oblivion;
Time passes, and Johnny now slices down a door in one slice)
Johnny (voice from the Shining): Here's... JOHNNY! (empty room) Damn it!!
(More time passes; Johnny performs his Johnny Special on another door, watching the door crumble)
Johnny: Daisuke Ishiwatari!! (only sees Kliff Undersn in the room)
Kliff: Hello, Daisuke! I'm Kliff Undersn. I got a bone to pick with you!
Johnny: Son of a!
(Even more time passes; Johnny Bacchus Sighs the door, and then uses a Level 3 Mist Finer to disintegrate the door in front of him)
Johnny (losing it): I AM 14 CHARACTERS! WITH 6 NEW ADDED, AND 3 MORE HIDDEN AND UNLOCKABLE! WITH A ROCKING SOUNDTRACK, NO LOAD TIMES, AND A CLARIFYING STORY MODE, I AM GUILTY GEAR X2 FOR THE PS2!! (empty room; sounds defeated) I just have bad luck today, don't I?
(Johnny keeps walking until he notices some barely seen thread)
Johnny: Thread? (he follows the thread with his eyes, until he sees it connect to a) Yo-yo?
(All of a sudden, the yo-yo grows large in size, and latches onto him like a beacon)
Bridget's voice: GO, ROGER!
(Another yo-yo transforms into Bridget's teddy bear, Roger. It starts to swarm all over Johnny)
Johnny (mad): Teddy bear, eh? JOHNNY SPECIAL! (decimates poor teddy bear with his Johnny Special overdrive; realizes) Damn... Did I just waste a Johnny Special on an inanimate object?
(Johnny starts walking down the hall where he heard his voice the strongest; he gets hit by Testament's poison tree; he keeps getting wailed upon by poison trees; on the other side)
Bridget: Roger couldn't hold him off.
Testament: And my trees aren't doing a good job, either!
May: Wait! Maybe I can use my "May-ning" to summon Potemkin! He'll help us.
Dizzy: Go with it!
(May thinks as hard as she can to alert Potemkin of the danger their in; on Potemkin's side, he's just watching a handheld TV in a little shack)
TV Announcer: ...And the three assassins in question we're killed.
Potemkin (gets the mental message): That little girl is in trouble! Do not worry; I will save you!
(Potemkin runs outside, trips over something, but ignores it and keeps going; he eventually reaches the insides of the house)
Potemkin: Okay... prepare for 656 kg of muscular whoop-ass, freak-tard. Now, where do you hide... (gets a Gold Johnny Mist Finer in the back) MIGOTO!! [Well done!!] (falls down; dead)
Announcer: SLASH!
May (observes Potemkin's lifeless pile): Geez... I'm not cleaning that up.
Johnny: Must... kill... friends...
(Outside; a window bursts; Bridget, May, Dizzy, and Testament jump out, only to have Johnny follow after them; May trips on something)
Dizzy: MAY!
Testament: Leave her! She'll sacrifice herself to save us!
May: NO WAY, YOU HACK! (notices something shiny) Johnny, look!
(May holds up a gold brick to show Johnny; this snaps Johnny out of insanity)
Johnny: TREASURE! Teacher, mother, one true lover! (sounding quiet) Urge to kill... fading... fading... fading... (everyone nears closer) RISING!! (everyone backs off) fading... fading... gone.
(Everyone sighs in relief)
Johnny: What the? (The cool and sexy Johnny finds a hatch which opens to a large storage of hundreds of thousands of gold bricks) WOOHOO!! It's a pay cut, but we HIT THE MINIMUM JACKPOT!!
Dizzy: I am relieved.
Bridget: Same here.
Testament (not phasing to the cold winds that are picking up): Agreed.
Johnny: Radio in the girls. We gonna get our asses out of here, and we hauling good-ass stuff!
May: Uh-oh.
Johnny: What is it, little May?
May: These aren't actual gold. They're just gold-colored bricks, with a note saying that "Hahahaha, you are simple fools that are easily tricked. Signed, Slayer".
(Johnny's eye starts twitching)
Bridget (foreboding sense of danger): And we proceed to run!
(he grabs Dizzy's arm, and with May and Testament in tow, they all start running)
Johnny: Urge to kill... RISING!!
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Note: I said, Maybe... But, anyway...
Another chapter might be on the way!