Guilty Gear Specials

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I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

I waive the right for you to sue me.

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(Here's episode seven: What the!? An espionage look!?)

Sol (speaking into an AV link): Badguy Sol here. I'm in position. Don't know why I'm here. Over.

Axl (speaking into an AV link): Low Axl here. I, too, am in position. Over.

Anji (ditto): Mito Anji-san here. In position. Over.

Chipp (ditto): Holy Zen! (is shushed by the others) Zanuff Chipp-san here! I am so Japanese! Over.

Johnny (you get the rest): Johnny here. It's not my fault if I wasn't given a last name. Over.

(It turns out that all five of them are actually huddled together in some type of hiding box area. They're looming over a horde of, get comfy for this one, Robo-Mays, Robo-Baikens, Robo-Bridgets, and even a couple of Robo-Potemkins and Robo-Anjis lead by the original Robo-Ky)

Axl: I'm squished, Chief.

Sol: If you put your elbow close to me again, I will feed you to the robotic masses!

Johnny: Shut up!

(A couple of minutes pass by)

Sol (eying Axl): Axl, is that your hand close to my 'zone'?

Axl (nervous and speaking like he's wanting not to die): Um, I'm really hoping that it isn't... But I know that in your heart that-- 

(Axl is hurled out of the safe domain he was residing in and crashes down to the ground, catching the attention of all the Robos in the area)

Axl: Um... Maybe they're not so sentient... Their scanners might not be so reliable--

Robo-May #1: Target sighted!

Robo-Bridget #4: Preparation complete!

Robo-Ky: ATTACK!!

Axl (starting to run): S***!!!!!

(Not using any of the weapons the robotic versions mimic the flesh counterparts, they fire missiles, lasers, and the mechanical whatnot at the fleeing Axl, whilst the others sneak off to the back to find a room filled with extreme amounts of treasure.)

Johnny (contemplating): Maybe it's best to work with four experienced men, instead of a ship filled to the brim with countless skimpy little girls...

Anji: Maybe... sicko.

Chipp: Holy Zen! Child molester!

Anji (angry): Chipp! Shut up! (slaps Chipp on the forehead with one of his Stopping Fans) Never say that unless it is in an unexpected situation! GOT IT!?

Chipp (quiet): ... Yes sir...

Sol (large vat of treasures in his arms): Hey... (looks around) Where is that tea-drinking Brit Axl? Dumbass...

Axl (enters the room): I think I lost them, Chief.

Robo-Potemkin #2: Target sighted!

Robo-Baiken #12: There's no escape!

Robo-Anji #3: SUFFER!!

Axl (angry): No more running for me! (summons Instant Kill bar) WILD HAIR!!

(Sol, Anji, Johnny, and Chipp run the f*** from the area that Axl will cover with his attack; Axl's chains snag all the robots, and rip into them so badly that robotic heads, limbs, and mechanical innards fly out in ultimate style and flair)

Sol (whistling in awe as he carries treasure away): I thought I had that damned fool figured out. Pretty sweet, Axl.

Robo-Ky: THERE IS NO ESCAPE! (gets tackled by a silhouetted figure) AUGH!

Chipp: HO--(stops himself) I mean... Wow, who stopped him?

Anji: There we go. Much more controlled.

Axl (looks around): Where's Chief and Johnny?

(The other three follow after Sol and Johnny to a vehicle parked a few hundred feet away from the area. Sol looks at the vehicle strangely)

Sol (vein in forehead): Axl, you numbf***, did you just convert my Fireseal into a heavy and potentially dangerous hood ornament?

Axl: Like it? You can mow down Ky Kiske with it! (annoying laugh)

Sol: ... Thanks, Axl. You're a true friend.

Axl (eyes bright): REALLY?

Sol: Meh. Something like that.

(they all get into the car, with treasure in hand, and Axl taking the wheel. They drive off down a valley road, until they are submerged in mist and fog.)

Sol (irritated): What the f***?

Johnny: Hey Anji! Blow away the mist with your wind-type fans!

Anji: What!? I can't control the winds! Though that is, in return, a question I should ask myself...

Axl (cautious): I think I better pull over, and play it safe.

(Axl drives to the right side, and hears a demonic screech as he bumps over something; Anji and Johnny are worried; Axl feels some extreme shock; Even Sol looks up to see what happened)

Chipp: ... (everyone stares at Chipp) What? How come everyone is looking at me?

Anji: Um, Chipp, now would have been a good time to say your "Holy Zen" catchphrase.

Chipp: Oh. ... Is it too late to say it now?

Anji: Well, everyone else is still in great shock. So yes.

Chipp: Okay. HOLY ZEN! WE HIT SOMETHING HARD!

Axl (saddened and scared): Please let it be a simple stray dog...

Johnny: Dog!? Is it from HELL!?

Sol: Hm... If that 'thing' we ran over is still alive, then... (giddy) I'll have my first encounter with a demon! Yay. Just tell me what it is. I'm staying here.

(They go out of the car, except Sol, and the fog clears just enough to show who/what they ran over, including the hood ornament Fireseal's tip dipped in blood.)

Axl (screaming): OH MY GOD! WE RAN DOWN KY KISKE!! YAAAAHHH!!

Johnny: We?!

Sol (interested): We ran down who in the what now?

(The fog lifts fully to see Ky, with a bloody hole in his stomach [thanks to the Fireseal], and clothes torn and ripped)

Sol: Holy s***. (ignores the dead Ky, and grabs his Fireseal) You served a greater good, my sword. A greater good. (goes back on topic) About the body... (pokes the dead Ky a few times) Wow, he's dead. Let's just dump the body in a harbor. (ass) He has no loved ones, so he'll be easily forgotten.

Axl: But what about his new girlfriend, Jam Kuradoberi?

Sol: ... (starts snickering) Girlfriend!? Now that's a laugh! If only Ky was alive to see my happy expression! (starts to happily laugh) No really! It's funny! It's a joke.

Johnny (seems somewhat offended): Don't joke with women.

Anji: But what do we do with her?

Chipp: We kill her! (everyone stares blankly at Chipp)

Anji (sounding disciplinary): No. (bops Chipp on the forehead)

Chipp: BAKEMON GA!

(In the morning; right outside of Jam's restaurant, we see Jam tidying around her premises, where she sees Sol a distance away with Ky. Ky?)

Jam: Aya! Ky, my precious little hunk, is that you?

Ky (his voice is being done by Axl [not very well, mind you], who is hiding in the bushes somewhere; the body is propped onto a chair): Why yes, my little sex babe, it is me! I was just doing a sermon some towns back, with my good friend, Sol Badguy.

Sol: Friend?! (remembers plan) Oh, yes, friend.

Jam:  Strange... (Sol and Axl almost fear their plan will backfire on them) You never made mention of sex before... Is that your intention?

Ky (nervous): Um, yes?

Jam: OKAY! Just give me a couple of minutes!

Sol (laughing out loud; playing along): HAHAHAHA!! Ky, look what you got yourself into! (Jam walks inside; slaps the corpse into a wall) Damn! She missed it. Wait... Axl, give me my 'good friend' Ky.

Johnny: This is gonna be bad.

(Inside Jam's closed restaurant, she is merely putting on some kinky lingerie and the whatnot, not at all hearing what's going on outside)

Ky (still Axl's voice): RIDE THE LIGHTNING! How could I miss!?

Sol: Big mistake. NAPALM DEATH! (Sol's attack sends Ky's body through one of the walls of the restaurant)

Johnny (announcer-type voice): DESTROYED!

Anji: And now we run?

Chipp: Run, like hell!

(Axl, Sol, Anji, Chipp, and Johnny are all a good few hundred feet where they he--)

Jam (terrified): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(...Never mind.)

Sol (happy): And that's the end of that chapter.

(A day or two passes, and a funeral precession of the beloved captain of the Police occurs; Sol is the only one not paying any form of respect, that jackass.)

Sol: Thanks.

(Axl, Johnny, Anji, and Chipp leave the area)

Axl (sad): You should have been there, Chief. (blows his nose on his bandana, then re-equips it)

Chipp (sad; bawling): HOLY ZEN! IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL PRECESSION! A hero's salute! (blows his nose on Anji)

Anji: No! (bops Chipp on the head again)

Johnny: And people wonder why there's an Anji/Chipp yaoi pairing.

Sol (smile): Funny. Because while you were down there mourning to God boy, I was thinking of why people didn't make a Johnny/Bridget yaoi pairing yet?

Chipp: Now that's a burn!

Johnny: I feel... so unclean...

Axl: GUYS, LOOK! (points to a wall, with "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID" covered in blood) Someone saw us murder Ky!

Sol (irritated): Impossible!

Johnny: But who could have seen us?

(The other GG characters who walk past them almost take a minute to see them through a quick, pain-inducing glance, but then walk off, especially Jam Kuradoberi. But all of a sudden, Anji points his fan towards Sol and Axl)

Johnny: And a Sol/Axl coupling too.

Chipp (discipline-tone): Iie! [No!] (smacks Anji with the flat-side of his blade)

Anji: OW! Now that actually hurt!

(Night time; they are in an abandoned apartment, the only one with a phone a connection in the room, though they did not heartily notice it)

Axl: You know, just sitting here in the moonlight is pretty fine.

Chipp: Holy Zen! Go fish!

(Clouds covered the moon; someone starts crying like a sissy school girl; clouds disappear, and the moonlight reveal Johnny in a distant corner, sucking his thumb)

Sol (laughing his ass off): Now that, is funny!

Johnny (regaining his posture): I'm sorry. Sometimes, it's healthy to break down and cry like a sissy.

Anji: Probably in Johnny-ville.

(The phone rings; all except Sol scream out of a terrifying rush; Sol is a bit more irritated)

Axl (answering the phone; nervous): H-hello?

Mysterious voice: I know you are alone, young one.

Axl: Um, not really...

Mysterious voice: Is this... Jam Kuradoberi?

Axl: No. This is Axl Low.

Testament: Oh, sorry. It's me, Testament. I heard Ky had passed on, and well, since she also called me a cute looking guy, I thought I'd, you know, pick up after him.

(Axl hangs up)

Sol: That's it. I'm getting some air. (leaves)

Others: WAIT UP! (run after him)

(In the night, Sol, Axl, Johnny, Anji, and Chipp are walking in an abandoned area of the city they are now in; a sneaking sound is barely heard)

Sol: Huh?

Anji: Huh?

Chipp: Huh?

Johnny: Huh?

Axl: DEMONS!!! (gets slapped upside the head by the flat side of the Fireseal)

Johnny: If what we are facing is in fact a blood-thirsty demon, then we have to see it in action, to determine a weak point.

(In the distance, we see a lovely couple [Dizzy/Bridget; my fav] walking hand-in-hand, an engagement ring in each of their hands; a flash passes by them, and blood spurts from their chests, causing them to collapse; the others are just shocked)

(Johnny says nothing)

Sol: Wow...

Chipp: NOW we need a plan!

Sol: Okay... this is how it will work: we will place ourselves in obscured and hidden places, and then ambush said freak. (to Anji) Anji, you'll hide in that abandoned open parking lot.

Anji: You suck.

Sol: Okay. (to Chipp) Chipp, the dilapidated dojo.

Chipp: Holy Zen!

Sol: Whatever. (to Johnny) Johnny, the closed music store.

Johnny: ... That is acceptable.

Sol: (to Axl) Axl, closed down Chinese rave club

Axl (confused): Why!?

Sol: And I'll go skinny-dipping in (points to a large-pool type area) that artificial lake where I killed the two sexy teens who insulted me last year on this very night.

(A mysterious figure appears behind him)

Sol (turns around): Now, Ky, you'll go--(realizes who he is talking to; the other four start screaming in fear, and Sol himself gives an unexpected yelp) Yah!

Ky: Hello.

Axl (crying): KY KISKE!? BUT HOW CAN IT BE!? I KILLED YOU!!!

Ky: Well, to be perfectly honest, you really can't kill the undead.

Sol (stabs Ky in the eye with his Fireseal; Ky is not phased): Hmm... he's undead alright.

Anji: So are you dead, Mr. Policeman?

Ky: Oh-ho, I wish. (contemplating) You see, that night, when you ran me down with your vehicle, I was in hot pursuit with the lead Robo-Ky...

(Flashback; Ky is in hot pursuit after Robo-Ky;)

Robo-Ky: I MUST SHAKE YOU OFF! (charging attack) SACRED EDGE! (giant white beam comes out) AND HAVE SOME OF THESE! (missiles pop out of Robo-Ky's chest and locks onto Ky)

Ky (gets hit by the Sacred Edge): RIDE THE LIGHTNING! (charges and makes the Robo-Ky explode) Well, now, I can relax and enjoy my--(gets tackled by an unsuspected dragon) GAH!!

(Some type of weird glowing occurs as Ky's Thunderseal unintentionally pierces the dragon's heart, and it collapses on the poor French officer; some time passes, and what emerges from the dragon's body is some mist, and a mutated, giant dragon-human, who stumbles onto the road, which is caught off guard by some car lights)

Johnny (in car): Hey Anji! Blow away the mist with your wind-type fans!

Anji (in car): What!? I can't control the winds! Though that is, in return, a question I should ask myself...

Axl (cautious; in car): I think I better pull over, and play it safe.

(The vehicle hits the dragon-being, with Fireseal stabbing the being in the chest, making it fall down, and reverting back to Ky Kiske)

(End flashback)

Chipp: So you were going to kill us.

Ky (laughing a little bit): Yeah.

(Everyone starts laughing; Ky looks around to see mist forming, and he starts to transform into the dragon-human thing once more, and sprays lightning everywhere)

Sol (laughing the loudest): Hey God-boy, gonna 'spark' up some fun with your w**** after you get back and explain your death to her?! Now that's rich! Hey guys! See how I insulted Dragon Ky--(turns around; sees them running away) Party poopers. I guess I get--

(Sol gets pounced and violently attacked by Dragon Ky)

Sol: So you are gay with me, you sicko!?

Dragon Ky: WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?

(And the fight pretty much goes on for a while)

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As the usual... Yeah...