Hey you guys…

I just wanted to let you know that this might be the last chapter that I post here at fanfiction.net mainly because it's kinda tiring distributing everywhere and I'm just interpreting the drop in reviews to mean that people are losing interest.

Sorry if that makes me sound awful but junior year is kinda hectic and I just don't want to feel like I'm doing something for nothing.

I'm just letting you know… this is a *note*… please don't flame me or say other mean things because the only thing that that accomplishes is making me feel bad~ maybe I'm too sensitive but I don't like them ;)

Thanks,

Jenn

Title: Chat
Author: Jenn
Chapter: 24
Chapter Title: Haven
Dedications: alli, Lara, Mandy, Tricia, Kat, and Christine.
Archived: CoverMe, FanFiction, SD-1, AllAlias
Distribution: Sure~ just let me know so I can check in once in awhile
Foreign Languages: French
Lyrics: In the Arms of an Angel- Sarah McLachlan (I originally wasn't going to use any this time cue gasp but then this popped out at me and was just too perfect both musically and lyrically…

24.

Haven

The room is damp and the shadows line up and spill over every crevice and crack there is, bathing everything in the darkness. Flourishing there.

And the only sound is the rattle that comes from Sydney's throat as she breathes unsteadily, in and out. In and out. He sits at her side, conscious of the hard stone under him, around him, swallowing him up and threatening to do the same to her. He looks at her with a defeat in his eyes; he lives in a lose-lose situation.

She rolls her head suddenly, a whimper escaping her lips, as soft as a breath. The bruise is purple on her temple, angry and taking over the right side of her face.

"Oh, Syd." Why didn't you leave? I told you to leave.

But then again, he hadn't really believed that she would.

With a sigh, he lifts himself up from the floor and slowly walks over to where her head is. Gently raises it off the floor and onto his lap. Tenderly wipes the sheen of sweat off her forehead with the pad of his thumb.

"Why?"

He looks down, startled at the soft question- more like breath than an actual word. Her brow is furrowed, and her lips are pursed, still sleeping, trapped in a nightmare. He tenderly sweeps the hair off her face. "you… leftme… youleftme."

Freezes a minute as his hands come in contact with her clammy skin.

"Vaughn, I can see what you could have done in my head. See it like it's a memory. I just don't understand why you didn't do it.

"Please leave."

He turns around after a moment of looking at her stony and broken face. Wishing he could say the words to make her forgive him. Wishes he could make her understand.

The cold air bites at his neck and cheeks as he steps outside, each step requiring an exertion of energy. It hurts him to walk away.

But he does.

Again.

you are my haven
always were
always will be
in your arms is where I feel safe
where i am at home
why can't you see that
and find haven in me?

He looks at her face, wave after wave of guilt engulfing him and taking him under. God, Sydney. I love you so much.

If only you knew.

And then a swell of urgency comes over him like nothing else he has ever felt before as he looks into her pained face. Only Sydney Bristow can take him to such emotional depths. Only she can bring him so much happiness. So much pain.

"Sydney…" His voice is hoarse with unuse but he doesn't care. He's not sure if she can hear him. Not sure if he wants her to be able to hear him. But the words are already spilling out of his mouth. "Why is it that we can never be rid of one another? No matter what happens… here we are. Again. To- together."

His words are a cracked whisper, coming out of his mouth like an almost-deadened silence. He hesitates before leaning over slightly, laying a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry for making your life so much more horrible than it had to be. For making it worse when I could have been making it better. For hurting you when… when that's the last thing I wanted to do."

I love you.

He leans his head against the wall, his fingers still cupped around her chin, his eyes closed tightly in guilt.

"Agent Vaughn, may I see you outside for a moment?"

Stressing the "Agent" as if that would remind him that there is a word called protocol. As if it would make him suddenly change his mind about what decisions he had made, what changes he had made to his life... what rulebooks he had thrown out the window.

He looked over at her, seeing the slight look of fear run through her eyes. Smiling at her, he squeezed her hand with his. "I'll be right back."

She nodded, and gave him a small nod back, full trust beaming through her eyes.

He eased himself off the bed, out of her arms, missing the warmth of her body next to his like he would miss his own heartbeat.

"What is it?"

Deep in the pit of his stomach, he knew what was the matter. Knew in the deepest recesses of his heart what the problem was.

And he didn't care.

Looking into the man's face, he saw admonishment, warning, maybe even a little anger. But he could care less. He hadn't felt this in a long time… after two years of wishing he could have her, hoping that she felt the same way, praying to be allowed to love her… it was here. His destiny was no longer in some distant future… it was in that room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

His brow furrowed. "What do you think I think I'm doing?"

The man's face grew angry. "I just have one question, Agent Vaughn."



He opens his eyes, shaking the memory out of his head.

Looks down into her face, sees her looking up into his.

Doesn't know what to do… how she's going to act to this position… what she's going to say.

But he's used to being speechless when she's looking at him.




"Hey."

spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for the break that will make it okay

She lifts herself off his lap.

"Hi."

She draws her knees close to her body, wrapping her arms around them.

there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day

She eyes their surroundings, a shiver running through her tired body. "Where are we?"

He shrugs. "Don't know."

There's a pause.

"I told you to leave," he says, giving her a slightly pointed glance, his lips twitching slightly.

She smiles a little, shooting a glance up at the ceiling. "You didn't expect me too."

I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins

"You're right."

"I couldn't leave you."

"I know."

"I'm sorry it didn't work."

"I know."

They're both leaning against the wall, sitting side by side, not looking at the other. He can feel the warmth emanating from her body. She's so close.

let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
i'll find some peace tonight

But still so far away.

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here

"Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we're here together."

There's a slight stop in time as silence hangs in the air.

"I know."

from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel

He feels the slight pressure of someone laying a head against his shoulder.

you were pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of an angel





may you find some comfort there





tbc….
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