Guilty Gear Specials

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I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.

You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!

PLEASE don't hate what I'm going to do; In the Guilty Gear storyline, they already did this, because Gears are EVIL, and Japanese were eradicated! Well, except for Dizzy and Testament, and the others…

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(Here's Chapter 11; it looks like a simple Pilgrim-esque town, and it appears they're burning… PEOPLE!?)

Kliff (the mayor): We of Isuka Town burn you three under the crimes of being Japanese! To make great equilibrium, we will kill you by burning you three at the stake!

(Crowd cheers; Kliff uses a projectile that sets fire to the stakes)

May (at the stake; raving mad): SEE YOU IN HELL, JOHNNY!!

Johnny (all happy): Goodbye, May.

(Some time later; it appears that a town meeting is in order)

Kliff: Good people! There is still a Japanese person amongst us! Though, I'm not saying that the Japanese are scourges, we must dispose of them before greater evils dispose of them. Now I'll open the floor for wild and crazy accusations.

Sol (giddy and in enjoyment): WOO-HOO!!! (Points to Jam, Ky's wife) I accuse goody Kiske!!

Ky: SHE'S CHINESE SOL!

Potemkin: I accuse goody Seishino.

Eddie: Uh, we killed her just two weeks ago.

Faust: What about goody Mito?

Johnny: No, he's dead too.

TRUE Unknown (rage): I accuse goody Blackheart ZERO.

Lone Wolf SIX: Actually, we killed him yesterday.

TRUE Unknown: Sweet. AND I WASN'T AWARE OF IT!?

April (being a little, um, mean): Dizzy!

Dizzy (shocked): WHAT!? April, stop it! How could you!?

April: You put a curse on me! [Acting like a zombie] Must… do… Johnny…

Johnny: Girls, stop it!!

Chipp (realizing something): HOLY ZEN!! I'M JAPANESE!!

Axl: Damn it Chipp! That's not funny anymore!

Chipp (not afraid to tell people that he's Japanese): No, really! I AM JAPANESE! I was the one who mysteriously turned your vegetable crops into rice when you all went to execute that Blackheart ZERO fellow for being a Japanese standing next to that firehouse that burned down!

Slayer: You bastard.

Chipp: IT WAS I, WHO ERECTED THAT MYSTERIOUS KANJI GATE!

I-No: THAT WAS YOU!?

Jam (raving): He's JAPANESE!

Potemkin: I was actually going to accuse him next.

(People are about to riot)

Kliff: Now, hold on one sec! Goody Zanuff has a chance to prove himself that he's Japanese or not.

Dizzy: True.

Bridget: I can work with that.

Sol (sulking): Wish it was Ky's broad, though…

(Scene change to Chipp in front of a cliff)

Kliff: I'm sorry for having to do this, but this is how it works. We will push you off the cliff.

Chipp: NANI!?

Kliff: Well hear me out, hear me out! If you are not Japanese, you will fall into a pitiful, crushing death.

Sol: I made the crushing part.

Bridget: And I, the pitiful part.

Dizzy: Necro and I contributed to the death part.

Zappa: PEOPLE PLEASE! LET THE MAYOR FINISH!!

Kliff: And, if you are Japanese, you will be alive. But, if you are alive, we expect you to come back here for further torture and Faust operation.

Venom: Played by his crazy self, Dr. Baldhead--

Faust (Interrupting Venom): I insist you do not call me by that name!

Chipp: Well, here I go. (Takes a deep breath and jumps down) SEISHO!!! [MASTER!!!]

Kliff (quick to assume Chipp is dead): Well, good people, we have sent another kind and stupid soul into the next life. (excited) NOW LET'S ALL GET DRUNK AND PLAY WHACK-A-BOB WONKINS!

Testament: I CALL CHARLIE!

(A large fiery explosion occurs behind them)

Chipp (riding on top of living kanji): WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's right! I really was Japanese!

Axl: So all those things you said were true!?

Chipp: HAI!

Millia: So you ruined my turnip crop! You asshole!

Chipp (defending): No, those were face-huggers.

I-No: Impossible! I killed all the face-huggers!

Chipp (smiling wickedly): Not all of them. (Turns I-No into an face hugger) And this, old man, is for making me jump off the cliff!

(Chipp casts a spell that transforms the proud warrior Kliff into… a doll.)

Testament (crying): DADDY!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

(Chipp laughs evilly as he rides off on kanji, summoning spectral bats to go after the others)

Faust: AAAAAAHHH!! They're in my bag! They're in my bag!!

Johnny: My precious hair!!

Jam: YOU MEAN MY PRECIOUS HAIR!!

Millia: I DECLARE MYSELF HAVING THE MOST HAIR! NOW RUN!!!

Sol: Get off me!

(Scene change to a cave, where 2 people are sitting, planning something)

Anji: Well, shall another tsunami work against those villagers?

Baiken: You always insist on tsunamis! If it were up to you, baka, we would inflict them with nothing but massive tidal waves!

(Chipp flies in)

Anji: Ah, Chipp-san! If I knew you were coming, I would have made tea!

Chipp: What a day! Everyone found out I was Japanese, so I had to leave!

Baiken: WHAT!? YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU REALLY WERE JAPANESE!?

Chipp: I told you!

Anji: You were ignorant again, onei-san.

Baiken: Shut up!

(In a small house)

Jam (looking from a window): Look at them, plotting our demise my precious Ky. Their very evils can even make us stop our wanton acts of carnality.

Ky (to himself): Yeah, that'll be the day.

Jam (eying Ky): What was that, Ky?

Ky: Nothing. Well, we shouldn't fear the Japanese, my dear. We're both perfectly healthy, you're in your mid-twenties, and maybe in 3-4 years I'll be twenty, and they're people just like us. They have to have hearts!

Jam (worried; slumps onto Ky): But think of our souls! I hear that the Japanese can take souls away from other people's bodies so that they can eat them!

(As seen from a cauldron, Anji, Chipp, and Baiken, look into the TV-ish concoction)

Anji: Hmm… eat their souls…

Baiken: Jeez, we were just going to swipe their pies.

Chipp: HOLY ZEN! But a good idea, (creepy) is a good idea!!

(Anji, Chipp, and Baiken summon giant kanji to ride on, and they fly away into the night, cackling like witches; Baiken falls through hers)

Baiken: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--(splat)

Chipp: Is she alright?

Anji: Yep. She's fine. But she'll have to walk.

(Both Anji and Chipp fly away)

Baiken: Wait up, you bastards!

(They make it to one house; Anji, Chipp, and an exhausted Baiken step right up to a house)

Anji: Ahem. (knocks on the door)

Venom: Who is it?

Anji, Baiken, and Chipp: Japanese!

Millia: Well, what do you want?

Chipp: We're here to eat your souls! Wait a minute… WHY IS MILLIA LIVING WITH VENOM IN SIN!?

Baiken: (smacks Chipp upside the head) Sure, yell louder, baka!

Chipp: Sumimasen! [Sorry!]

Venom (generous): Alright, come on in! (Opens the door, and) DARK ANGEL!

(The large energy ball goes through the door, but all three of them miss it)

Baiken (irritated): Oh please! (Walks inside) Now make with the souls!

(Chipp walks in, and sees a jar labeled 'Zato-1')

Chipp: Uh…

Venom: That's where his soul is.

(Chipp opens the jar)

Zato-1 Soul: So now, I will finally die.

Chipp: You'll be tasty. I like Spanish food.

(The three are about to leave)

Venom: Millia, do something.

Millia: Right. Perhaps, would you like some (brings out a tray) butterscotch souls instead?

Venom: They're low in fat!

(Baiken sounds interested)

Chipp: Leave it to women to want low-fats!

Anji: Right you are, Chipp-san!

Baiken: Shut up! (She takes a bite out of a butterscotch 'soul', and smiles happily) I can see myself eating this! I really can!

Chipp: Let me see. (Takes a butterscotch; bites it) Yum! (Swallows the Zato soul)

Zato-1 Soul: THANK YOU!

Chipp: Yuck! Real souls taste terrible after eating a gooey candy one!

Venom: ZATO-SAMA!!

(Some time passes; the three Japanese walk away from a house with fanciful treats)

Dizzy: Goodbye!

Bridget: Thanks for not eating Dizzy and the girls!

Johnny: Yeah, you Japs are all right!!

Chipp: Holy Zen! I got some candied orange wedges!

Anji: And I got caramel onion cakes! (Bites into it)

Baiken (eating candy one piece at a time): You know, scaring people into giving us treats is fun! We should do this, every year!

Chipp: Though I wished we ate a little bit more souls though. Oh well.

Baiken: Actually, I gorged myself tonight. When I fell through my ride, I took the liberty to devour some souls before I caught up with you guys. *Burp*

(The three now fly off into the distance; scene turns to Justice reading a book)

Justice: And that was the story of the very first butterscotch soul, (Realizes blunder) uh, I mean, Halloween! And it wasn't long, before this soul-claiming ritual, became an annual tradition.

(One year later; here, everyone, nameless NPCs and Guilty Gear characters alike are dressed up; we see some people, including Dizzy holding her baby, Johnny, Bridget, etc. seeing Sol [whom for strange reasons, dressed up as Jam] hurling Gun Flames at a house)

Bridget (a devil): Oh dear.

Dizzy (a nun): This can get messy.

Sol (yelling): C'mon! GIVE ME SOME DAMN CANDY! DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE NOT HOME!

Zappa (a wailing Japanese zombie): Um, Sol, that's your house, mate.

(Everyone's laughing at Sol)

Sol (feeling mean): The spirit that possesses Zappa sometimes is Japanese!

Potemkin (in a cat suit): Nice try, but she's already dead.

Justice (walks in): What's going on?

Sol: Ah, screw this! Let's kill Justice!

(Justice starts running from angry mob)

Justice: HELP ME, JEEBUS!!

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Yeah…