Guilty Gear Specials
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I do not own the Guilty Gear series, nor do I own the Simpsons or their Halloween episodes.
You can't sue me, because I already own this fic! NYAH!
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(Here's chapter 13; Anji, Chipp, and Baiken have been traveling for 3 days; their clothes have been tattered and torn [for some of them, even more so than usual], and they are hungry)
Chipp: Holy Zen! If I don't get food soon, I'll die!
Baiken: And my hair is a mess! We need to find a place to stay!
Anji: But where is a place that can suit drifting Japanese like us?
Baiken [angry]: AHEM! [Points to Chipp] Wannabe here is not Japanese!
Chipp: What!? I am so Japanese, obaa-san! (Grandma!)
Baiken [unsheathes katana]: Now you die!
Anji [stops both of them]: Wait! There's no need for bloodshed! Look!
[Anji points to a lonely-looking house, with broken windows, creaking shutters, the whole shebang that makes a house look creepy]
Chipp: Holy Zen! This place is giving me the creeps!
Baiken: I'd rather be outside.
[It starts to rain badly]
Chipp: I'D RATHER BE INSIDE! [Dashes past Anji and Baiken, and into the house]
Anji: WAIT UP, CHIPP-SAN!
Baiken: I'd rather be out in the rain, than with two idiots!
[Lightning strikes a tree branch and it crashes, falls, and burns, all right behind Baiken.]
Baiken [sweat drop]: … Lightning never strikes the same spot twice.
[Lightning cleaves said tree in half]
Baiken [now scared like a sissy girl]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
[Inside she runs; she bumps into Anji]
Anji: Took you long, onei-san. Lightning frighten you?
Baiken: Shut up! [Trying to cover up her fear] I was, uh, worrying about how you idiots would've stupidly killed yourselves. [To herself] That will do.
Chipp: Hey! Guys! I think other people are living here!
Anji: You're kidding!
[The three of them walk around, until they slink by a corner; they jump out]
The three of them: AAAAHHH!!!
Another three: AAAAHHH!!
[Everyone is clutching their chests, their hearts beating like personified jackhammers]
Anji [sees Bridget, Dizzy, and Testament in front of them]: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE!?
Testament: What!? I'd like to cut your chests good, rip out your hearts, and ask you the same question!
Bridget: We were simply waiting for May and Johnny, but then took shelter when it started to rain.
Dizzy: I got all wet.
Baiken [glaring]: I got wet too, but you don't see me crying, you little whiny girl!
[Thunder; Dizzy, scared by the loud booming sound, instinctively makes a shriek, and jumps into Bridget's arms. Likewise, like a scared onna (wife), Chipp jumps into Baiken's arms--oh wait… arm.]
Baiken [drops Chipp]: Baka. If baka was in the Japanese Dictionary, you would be right beside the damn word!
Chipp: Well, looks like were gonna be roomies!
Testament: Goody.
Dizzy: I'm gonna check the kitchen! [Drags Bridget and Testament too]
[In the kitchen]
Dizzy [kawaii-bishoujo eyes]: This is the perfect KITCHEN! I LOVE THIS PLACE!
Bridget: If you think [Sees a weird portal; disturbed] that there should be a weird portal-like thing in the wall, then yeah Dizzy, it's perfect.
Testament: I wonder… [Grabs an orange, throws it in; it gets sucked into the dimension] Ah…
[Testament's bird flies a little closer, and it gets sucked into the dimension too, squawking in terror]
Testament: NOOO!! [Tries to jump in, but is stopped by the other two]
Dizzy: No! We don't want to lose you, Testament!
[A crumpled ball of paper hits Testament in the face]
Bridget [picks it up; reads it]: Stop throwing edible objects into our dimension. Sincerely yours, the Outer World Dimensional Agency
[Of course, since I'm mean, bones of a once-proud bird come up through the portal]
Testament: WHYYYYYYYYYYY!? [Testament breaks down and cries]
[Meanwhile, Anji, Baiken, and Chipp are wondering around the upstairs]
Anji: This seems cozy.
Mysterious Demon Voice: Get… out…
Baiken: You don't scare me! I'VE HAD MY ARM AND EYE RIPPED OUT BY GEARS! UNLESS YOU'RE A REALLY BIG FREAKIN GEAR, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT--[and she goes on like this]
[While she was talking, something was making her float up and up and up until her head touched the ceiling]
Anji: Um, onei-san!
Baiken [mad that she got interrupted]: WHAT?
Chipp: We can see your panties!
Anji: Right you are, Chipp-san!
Baiken: Huh? [Looks down] OH KAMI-SAMA! HOW DID I GET UP HERE!? [The spiritual force drops her] AAAAAAAAAHH!! [hits her face]
Chipp: Did that hurt?
Baiken [angry sarcasm]: No, that was very relaxing.
Chipp: Aw cool! Hey Mr. Force! Do that to me!
[Now it's Chipp's turn to be levitated; it moves him to the stairs]
Chipp: Wait a minute! Baiken-chan was sarcastic!
[At the bottom of the stairs]
Bridget: Where did the others go?
Chipp [being hurtled to the ground on the ground floor]: BAKEMON GA! (MONSTER!) [Hits the ground] Ow…
Bridget [sweat-drop]: Maybe we should turn in for the night.
Chipp: I agree with you!
[Everyone heads to a room in the upstairs area; it is now in the darkest of night]
[Chipp's Bedroom]
Mysterious Demon Voice: Chipp… Oh Chipp…
Chipp: Are you the voice of my long dead sensei?
Mysterious Demon Voice [taken back a bit]: I, uh… Yes… it's me, Chipp. I am, uh, proud that you have out-mastered me.
Chipp: REALLY!? HOLY ZEN!
Anji [voice almost as clear as day]: Chipp-san, please, these walls are very thin!
Chipp: Sorry.
Mysterious Demon Voice: Now, prove yourself to me. Kill those who will potentially kill you back.
Chipp: You mean my friends?
Mysterious Demon Voice: … Yes.
[In Baiken's room]
Mysterious Demon Voice: Baiken… Oh Baiken… Your katana, Baiken… Kill the idiots…
[Baiken grabs her katana, unsheathes, and places it on the dresser; she runs her thumb on the blade; she mutters a curse and then smiles evilly]
[Elsewhere]
Dizzy [near-possessed; evil; no longer innocent]: They're all against me. They all must die.
[Downstairs; a light is on]
Baiken [evil]: Anji… oh Anji…
Anji [wispy]: I'm in the kitchen, onei-san.
[Baiken sees Testament walking evilly towards the living room; Baiken follows. Before long, Chipp, Baiken, Testament, and Dizzy are circling each other, with the wanton ability to maim each other]
Mysterious Demon Voice [more treacherous now]: Die… DIE… EVERYBODY DIE…
[Meanwhile]
Anji [voice still wispy]: Why's my voice like this? I need a drink. [gets a glass and drinks some water from the tap] Ahh… Much better! I don't sound like I'm possessed or crazy.
Bridget [walks in]: Couldn't sleep too? I bet the rain kept you up.
Anji: Indeed it did, miss.
Bridget: Heh. I get that a lot.
Anji: Huh?
Bridget: I'm a guy.
Anji [caught off guard]: NANI!? [calm] Oh I see. You must have led a rough childhood; never been hugged? C'mere! I'll hug you!
Bridget: AAAAAHH!!
[Bridget runs from Anji, and sees the Guilty Gear Isuka-style fray happening with the other four, throwing Gamma Blades, Setsujins, Nightmare Circulars, and Imperial Rays around]
Anji: Odd… what's causing them to fight?
Bridget [flings his yo-yos; one to wrap around Dizzy's ponytail, the other on Testament's ear]: C'mon you two! STOP IT!
Dizzy: Ow! What are you doing!?
Testament: OW! PLEASE NOT THE EAR!
Anji [goes right up to Baiken and Chipp]: GIGA STOPPING
FANS! [smacks them both in the back of the head]
Baiken [screams like a little girl]: OWWW!!
Chipp: HOLY ZEN! I'VE LOST MY EQULIBRIUM!
Bridget: What made you guys attack each other?
Baiken: Hell if I know!
[The walls get all funky, and it appears that the house is… bleeding… too… Oy]
Mysterious Demon Voice: GET OUT!!!
Chipp [not fazed]: Hey! Can you do that again? You know the one where you make the walls bleed?
Mysterious Demon Voice: You don't own me!
Dizzy [going to say something Academy-Award worthy]: Is the reason that you're trying to kill us is because you're afraid of liking us? Maybe even loving us? [the contest's over; give her the award]
Mysterious Demon Voice: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Necro: Oh don't you dare say that to Dizzy!
Mysterious Demon Voice: LOOK PAL, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU OR THAT LITTLE HUSSY SAY--
Bridget, Testament, and Necro: WHAT!?
[Big mistake]
Anji [sensing evil]: Guys, we should run.
[Anji, Chipp, and Baiken run]
Necro: Yeah, you know, we could have just let this episode go a little longer, yeah, but now, you're dead! And now, Dizzy and us are going to kick your ass!
Dizzy: Do I wanna kick his ass? [Testament whispers what a hussy is to her; really OOC] That bastard!
[Outside, Anji, Chipp, and Baiken watch as the house moves around in pain, and when they blinked, all that was left was charred wood and blood]
Baiken: Chipp, if you say Holy Zen one more time, I'm going to cut you so deep, I can fish out of it!
Chipp: How'd you know?
Anji: Aw man! I MISSED IT!
[The others are now panting, charred, and losing some of their clothes because of the sizzling of demon house]
Dizzy: Well, that was fun…
Testament: Indeed… Now I'm gonna get a cold because it's still raining…
[And how do they escape this little situation? Someone gave them a ride? Who? Oh, let's just say… the tab's on Sheo Darren.]
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Sol: I wasn't even in it!