25. Sand, Iron, Blood, Slime

Jade's party stumbled out of the cave, Xan making it mere moments before it collapsed.

"Aw, shucks," Kagain grumbled, "And here I thought our elf-friend might get a proper burial after all."

"You're no less doomed than I, you know," Xan glanced down at him with an odd look of morose haughtiness.

While Montaron snarled up the elf, the human eyes of Jade, Branwen, and Xzar were peering forward, getting readjusted to the bright sun.

"Well, yer right about that!" The voice was a foreign one from ahead of them, and the bickering between the elf and the dwarf was forgotten as they readied moonblade and axe to the sight of four women standing a few dozen paces from the party. The one who had spoken wore platemailed and carried a mace, the one beside her, probably also a cleric, a flail. Behind them stood two slighter, roguish young ladies, one with a shortbow and the other poised with darts.

"You there!" the mace-wielding woman called from inside her helm. "Is your name Jade? Hurry up and answer, and it better be the truth, for your life depends on it!"

Assassins , Jade gritted her teeth. Gorion was right. Why me….? "How about your names?" she barked back. In both parties, fingers tightened and knuckles whitened on weapon hilts.

"The warrior-women Lamalha, Zeela, Telka, Maneira," the spokeswoman proudly stated and nodded to herself, the flail-wielder, the bow-woman, and the dart-thrower.

"The 'Amazons'," Kagain spat with no surplus of approval. "Second-rate bounty hunters 'round these parts." He grinned toothily at them. "Hey, weren't there five of ya?"

Zeela grimaced at the awkward reference to Shar-Teel. "Why does everyone keep asking..." she snarled. Lamalha hushed her and barked back, "I think I know who you are, Jade. My companions and I have tracked you for many days, and I am to give you a message. You may've caused the Iron Throne some minor setb-"

The spurt of words from the woman's mouth were replaced by crimson blood as 'Telka,' her face calm and almost dreamlike, dropped her bow and buried a shortsword in the back of the woman's neck, expertly between the helm and the platemail. The other cleric hastily began chanting and the woman with the darts rapidly tossed one after another at the party.

The six wasted no time. Two magic missiles freed themselves from Xzar's fingertips and barreled down at the cleric past Jade and Kagain, who were charging her. Branwen was beginning a spell of her own while Montaron squeezed his crossbow trigger, and Xan chanted something but stopped abruptly when two darts pierced his thin robes. He gasped, twitched violently, and dropped.

Zeela's spell never unleashed itself upon the world thanks to Xzar's missiles, and Jade and Kagain were upon her before she could begin another, swiping at her face with a bastard sword and her knees with an axe. Branwen's spell fizzled over her opponents, altering none of them, and she turned her attention to the fallen elf. Lamalha, dropping her shield to clutch the back of her bleeding neck, had swung her mace around and brained her traitorous companion, and gurgled, probably trying to cast a healing spell but unable to properly speak. Her attempts were ended when a crossbow bolt buried itself in her eye and Montaron snickered from across the battlefield.

Maneira's dart went astray as Xzar directed a magic missile at her, and soon Branwen was upon her, calling forth a spiritual hammer and coming down hard. The women pulled forth a shortsword and stabbed through Branwnen's mail and into her ribs before being brained and falling with a broken neck. The cleric wheezed, yanking out the shortsword and clutching her hand over the wound to arrest the bleeding while she commenced healing.

Zeela was vastly overmatched in melee by Jade and Korgan, and when Branwen healed herself and looked up the enemy priestess had already dropped, one leg severed at the knee and several thrust and slash wounds through her splintmail. Kagain had a nasty gash across his cheek and nose from the spiked flail, but waved away Branwen, who could already see the wound drying and closing.

"Thanks," Jade smiled down at Telka, who lay upon the parched grass unconscious with a mace-welt from her party leader. With that, Jade thrust the tip of her bastard sword through the woman's throat to finish the job. She looked up at her companions. "What happened?"

"Xan charmed her," Xzar smiled, while helping the gloomy elven mage to his feet. "While her leader was busy babbling."

"Well, well, well," Kagain smirked, "So he's good for something."

"As much meager good as can be had in this dismal world," Xan sighed, inspecting the dart-holes in his purple robe.

"Alright, alright," Jade sighed, "Let's loot these bodies and get a move on." She looked at Xan. "Nice charming trick, Xan. But cheer up."

The four woman assassins yielded a suit of platemail for Branwen, enchanted leather for Montaron, and a few interesting potions Xzar explained. The charmed rogue had apparently carried fire arrows, like the kobolds, which Jade added to her quiver, and Montaron pocketed the other rogue's poisoned darts.

Kagain explained that this exit from the mines had most likely deposited them a good ways east of Nashkel. They took their first good look at their surroundings, a sandy semi-arid area with sparse, parched grass, exposed reddish-yellor rocks, and a slightly warm wind.

"Iron Throne mean anything to you, Kagain?" Jade asked her dwarven companion as they trudged west.

"Aye," he nodded, "A large trading coster up in the Gate. Especially large in, well, iron."

"...so they'd stand to benefit from a shortage," Jade nodded.

"Aye, lassie," Kagain smiled approvingly, "That's business for ya. And the Throne is known for playing underhand, like this. Almost as bad as the Zhentairm, they are," Beneath his bushy white eyebrows, his eyes flicked over his shoulder at two of their companions. "But officially legal, and in quite good graces with the Grand Dukes right now, of course."

"Of course," Jade smiled thinly. "For better or for worse, it's now hard to deny there's a link between this and myself."

Kagain shrugged. "I agree, but I cannot fathom why."

"Who runs the Throne?"

"That'd be Reiltar Anchev. Never done direct business wit him, and that'd fine with me. Word is he's a serpent of pure evil. And I don't mean a gold-grubber like meself, gold runs the world, kid and the faster ye learn that the better life'll treat ya. I mean..." his voice sank to a superstituious whisper, "...a sadist."

"Large man?" Jade inquired. "Bright yellow eyes?"

"Ain't he that killed yer father, lass," Kagain answered, for she had explained that terrible night to him. "Perhaps one of his leiutentants or thugs."

Jade pursed her full lips. "Perhaps."

---

As the sky was already darkened, and the party was weary from their spelunking and battles below and above. They set up camp once they had moved far enough from the wolf-and-buzzard attracting bodies of 'The Amazons'. Around the campfire, Xan antisocially kept his nose buried in his spellbook; and while Xzar ostensibly did the same, he kept engaged in conversation (though most of that seemed to be with entities none of his companions could see, which might still be considered antisocial from any point of view other than Xzar's). Kagain was content to count and recount the gold they'd found that day, and fantasize about the appraisal of the gear of their fallen foes, while smoking some tobacco with a similarly-greedy Montaron. Branwen sat quietly in meditative prayer, and Jade pondered the entirety of her first Dungeon Crawl, feeling much better than she had at the outset of this day.

---

"Man ahead," Branwen suddenly called out but an hour's quarter into their morning march. "Wizard."

Indeed there was, a ways ahead of them across the parched, barren soil. A green-and-yellow robed elderly wizard, singing gleefully to himself.

"Hello, hello!" he called out to them in a disturbingly excited voice. "I am Narciullicus Harwilliger Need! You are just in time for my experiment!"

"Experiment?" Xzar blurted out from the back of the party. "Ooo, do tell, do tell. Monty, will you take notes for me?" A halfling snarl sounded in response.

The man grinned. "I believe I have developed a spell to empathically control any gelatinous creature and bend it to my will. Slimes, jellies, oozes, all of these things that foul the cook's cellar and the adventurer's dungeon can now be controlled and eradicated with an easy and efficacy never before seen in the history of the Realms. It takes an entire hour to gain such control, but that time will by minimized with further experimentation, I am sure. In moments that hour will be up for a small number of mustard jellies that I have released into the nearby woods! We shall soon bear witness to the results of my endeavor."

Jade arched an indignant scarlet eyebrow. "Are you mad ? Releasing slimes into the wild?"

"Fascinating!" Xzar was scribbling notes on his own palm, using a pen made from a human floating rib. Jade was pretty sure she didn't want to know what the 'ink' was. "You must write this spell down for me!"

Narcillicus snarled at the necromancer. "I have worked years for this and you seek its benefits in mere seconds? Nay, you not only seek them, you expect them! The spell is mine, mine, mine! You'll not have it! Come jellies, let us make our mark upon the world!"

Jade, holding her longbow as usual when she walked, notched an arrow and let it fly, and several other missiles sailed past her couresy of her allies, and the wizard was dead, his body riddled with impact wounds, before he could hardly begin a spell. The two jellies came slowly slithering up, absorbing and dissolving the missiles the party pelted them with. Xzar fired off more magic missiles but those too fizzled.

Jade drew her bastard sword, howled, and charged, but the ooze burped a disgusting wad of its own slime. She feigned side, and brought her blade cleaving down into the jelly, whlie her companions rushed up on her sides, hacking at it and the other. The jelly burped again, right in Jade's face, and suddenly she was overcome with a nauseating wooziness, and tried to lift her sword, but muscles responded at a fraction of the face they should have. Beside her, she saw Branwen, Kagain, and Montaron pounding the jelly, but they too were slightly green to the faces, and moving lethargically. The other jelly slithered forward and Xan took it with his moonblade, causing it to quiver and burn as it was slashed, and Xzar tossed a few of Telka's darts, which it seemed not to like.

The battle was disgusting. The jellies lashed with blobs of slime, the adventurers sustained strange acid burns, and Montaron and Branwen vomited into themselves midswings, and everything seemed to be moving at the wrong speed. Eventually the first jelly heaved with withered, and the four turned their attention to the second jelly, which was trying to absorb one of Xan's legs into itself while he moaned and slashed with his moonblade.

"It's the Blob!" Xan moaned, "Oh, the horror!"

They sluggishly 'ran' over to join him, and with the full weight of the party on it, at last it died.

Branwen and Montaron pulled out water flasks to clean themselves as best they good, and Branwen set about healing the wounds of herself and others, and they had to break into their supply of healing potions once she was exhausted.

"And that," Kagain spat at Xzar's feet, "Is what's wrong with wizards. Insane, I tell ya! The lot of 'em!"

"Now Kagain," Xzar cooed, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Xzar," Jade scowled at the necromancer, "When we meet people, in town on in field, let me do the talking. Understood?" She glanced at her companions. "That goes for you all."

Xzar shrank. "Yes mommy."

The necormancer gleefully skipped over to Narcillicus's body, looting some money, potions and several scrolls. "Oh, a knave's robe!" he stripped off Nacillicus's outer robe (mercifully, there was another layer underneath). "Here Xan, they were never really my style," he giggled after brushing some slime off his adventurer's robe. The elven enchanter indifferently took it from him, but then the necromancer laughed again and held up three scrollls. "But I'm afraid, Xan-Xan, the scrolls are all....evocation!!" He shrieked with laughter while the enchanter sighed. "Ooo, lightening bolt. I was hoping to learn that one soon! Hopefully before my want expires, hee hee. Did I tell you I found a wand of frost in a tree outside the mine? 'Tis true, I swear! And..oh" Xzar held up another piece of parchment from Narcillicus's body, "The jelly recipe!!! Oh, goodie! Now if only I can find one for peanut butter constructs...."

Xan sighed and donned his new robe, which immediately turned purple. Montaron murmured, remembering Xzar's explanation of the Favorite Color Rule.

The party carrried on, with samesaid necromancer in extremely high spirits.

"Oh boy," Branwen nodded ahead while Jade and Kagain were talking again, "Another lunatic."

"You'll get used to Xzar," Jade sighed.

"No no," Branwen pointed. " Another another lunatic."

"Heeeeelp!!!" a brown-haired peasant man screamed, dashing by the party. He stopped only briefly, dropping a dark-glowing dagger at Jade's feet. "Give it back! Give it back!" he pointed to a shallow hill of rock just over his shoulder. "Get it out of my dreams so I can rest! Oh, I'll never go grave-robbing again! Please, give it back!"

Jade looked quizically at the dark dagger at her feet. "Did you finish robbing it?"

"N-no!" the man cringed. "That was all I took!"

Jade smiled. "Thank you. You may go." The terrified man obliged.

Xzar praned over to the dagger, and knelt down, peering at it. Suddenly his tattooed face lit up. "The Heart of the Golem!" He swiped up the dagger, looking into its nearly-black, otherwordly metal blade. "Made from a metal golem! Eeeeexxxcellent...." he trailed off, cackling madly. He looked up at Jade, who nodded with approval, and he then stuck the dagger through his belt.

Jade nodded to the hill the man had pointed to, from which the entrance to some sort of crypt was visible.

"The mouth of death itself," Xan groaned.

Jade scowled. "Xan, be helpful or be quiet. Let's go."

No sooner had the six squeezed through the entryway than a lumbering corpse assaulted them. A zombielike creature with green, rotten skin, sharp claws, and a ghoulish face.

"Revenant!" Xzar squeaked.

"Must...revenge...." it whispered, stopping short of impaling itself on Jade's bastard sword, which she held out defensively. "Dagger!!!!" Its eyes focused on Xzar. "You have the Dagger!

Give to MEE!!!! You can rest, rest forever....the dagger...of he who murdered me...the dagger of Alatos..."

"Who in the hells is Alatos, corpse?" Jade demanded.

"Give...dagger....if you not give dagger....you die....." the revenant seemed singularly fixated, and its claws reached around either side of Jade's sword.

"No," Jade snarled, "You die. Again." She whipped her sword to the left, severing its right arm just beyond the elbow, and Kagain had her flank, swinging up over his head to amputate the other, then he followed through on his swing to slash through its knee while Jade swung her sword back across and sliced off a third of the revenant's skull. It dropped to the ground and lay still, the undeath departed.

Jade turned her head to smile at Xzar, her emerald eyes shining "Enjoy your new dagger. You can thank me later, X." She noticed his hair was now on end. "Hmm?" she pointed up.

"Oh," Xzar grinned, "The slimes. Once you defeat one, you've got a year's supply of hair gel."

His ever-greasy-haired and earringed halfling companion, who now had a veritable mohawk, grinned. "The 'punk' look is in this year."

Jade groaned, and Branwen nodded in sympathy.

The party set to work looting the tomb, and two more they found nearby. Xzar added a monster summoning wand to his burgeoning collection, and Jade found some new enchanted arrows for her quiver, and a suit of enchanted chainmail, which she donned and gave the Fist's platemail to Branwen. She took a few practice swings with her golden bastard sword, and feigned left and right, murmuring to herself in approval. She had trained in all types, but now she was sure she would never see the inside of heavy armor again.

As they reemerged and headed west, the sun was already peaking in the sky.