Title: Remember, Cute and Fluffy Equals Dangerous
Author: Maveness Summary: First times Gilmore Girls fic. And yes, it's Luke/Lorelai. What else was I supposed to write?
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. Sue me and you'll get one hairy, hyper dog. Yes, he most likely is a Gilmore.
Feedback: mavenessdelight@yahoo.com Date: November 10, 2003
"Luke, I need your help."
Those were bad words. Bad words indeed, especially out of Lorelai's mouth. Not the kind of words he needed to be hearing at 9:30 on Friday night while trying to scrape the remnants of a grilling disaster off of the exhaust fan in the kitchen of the diner.
"No."
"Please."
He paused just long enough to fix her with an appropriately withering stare.
"No."
"Please!"
"I said no!"
"Come on Luke, pleeeeasee? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please with cream and sugar on top? Please?"
Lorelai planted herself in front of him, preventing his escape. All five foot whatever of hyper, sparkly Gilmore. A hyper, sparkly Gilmore in need of...whatever the hell it was she needed this time. A handyman, a footstool, a patsy.
This did not bode well.
"I'm not going to say it again Lorelai. No!"
"But you don't even know what it is yet!"
He heaved a sigh. She wasn't going to let this go. Of course not. This was Lorelai. The pit bull of Stars Hollow. Probably the only person more tenacious than Taylor.
"I don't have to know what it is Lorelai. It's always the same thing. You want something hammered or taped or hung, or you want coffee or a burger in the shape of a pig. There's a bat in the attic, your car needs an oil change, your showerhead spoke to you and needs to be exorcised. Or you want me to dress up in a bunny costume and hop down Main Street. Well, did you ever get the idea that maybe, just maybe, I'd like one evening of peace, one night of no 'Luke, I need'?"
"Wow. That showerhead one was ingenuous. I think I'm rubbing off on you. But no, that's not what I need."
He resisted the urge, however barely, to grind his knuckles into his eye sockets.
"If I cave now, will it make it less painful?"
Lorelai gasped in faux outrage. Yeah, like he was going to buy the innocent routine *now*.
"Luke! When have I ever asked for anything that wasn't quick, simple, utterly painless?"
He ticked them off on his fingers. "Yesterday. Twice. The day before, three times. Tuesday, once. Sunday..."
"Hey! I didn't ask for anything on Sunday!"
"The moles...the ones in the front yard that you swore were mocking you by tunneling under the flower bed and wreaking havoc in the daisies?"
"Okay, so, I've asked for a lot of favors. A ton. A plethora. A multitude. But Luke, this favor is something that only you can provide."
What?
"Only you have the particular skills needed, the right tools for the job. Well, tool."
"Lorelai..."
This had better not be going anywhere near where it sounded like it was going. Okay, maybe going there wouldn't be too bad if it did, but...
"Okay, so Sookie has the right tool too, but..."
"What? Sookie has the tool?"
Lorelai nodded.
Okay, this was completely baffling and bizarre and...Lorelai.
"Well if Sookie has the tool, why not ask for her help?"
"Because, Jackson would probably object. And besides. It's Sookie. I love her to death, she's my best friend, but..."
Lord help him, he was going to regret this.
"Could you please just ask for whatever the hell it is and stop beating around the bush?"
"Well, if you hadn't said no to begin with..."
"Lorelai!"
It took him a moment (because when things happen fast a person is generally slow on the uptake) to figure out what exactly was happening.
Lorelai was kissing him.
She was kissing him. And he was kissing her. There was kissing. Good kissing. Great kissing. He had forgotten to close his eyes, he was thinking too much, but it was kissing and it was Lorelai and you know, the kitchen was really not the spot he had been expecting this to finally happen, but oddly enough she tasted like strawberries and vanilla...
And just as suddenly as it started, she was...not kissing him. Just looking at him with an expectant look from her original location and...did he dream it all?
"So?"
He was beginning to feel like the biggest idiot on the planet, but he had to ask.
"'So' what?"
"My lip gloss."
"What about your lip gloss?"
"I know the color combination is great, but is the strawberry and vanilla combination too overpoweringly sweet? Because I wouldn't want to go kissing a guy and have him be completely turned off. Looking good is one thing, but nauseating a guy at the end of the first date isn't such a great idea."
"You mean this whole...thing has been about the flavor of you lip gloss?!?"
"Yeah."
This had to be the most baffling Lorelai moment ever. It had to be. Nothing made sense. And it didn't help that he could still feel her lips and taste the lip gloss in question.
Licking his lips would also probably be a bad thing right now too.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why me? Why was I needed to test the exact taste of your lip gloss? Why was Sookie the only other choice? Although I guess this explains exactly *why* Jackson would have objected."
"Because you both work with food, which means you have exceptional taste buds."
Lorelai logic at work. Granted, it got him a kiss, but...
"You know, I could ask how you came to that conclusion, but I'm afraid I'd be here all night and still not see the connection. So instead, I'm just going to finish cleaning up, go upstairs and turn on a ball game. Ball games make sense. Einstein's Theory of Relativity makes sense. Right now I'm pretty sure even James Brown would make sense next to you."
He ushered her to the door uncerimoniously and shoved her, sputtering, out into the night.
"So, crazy lady, I bid you good night. And next time you want to test your lip gloss, find another patsy."
He was never going to understand women. Ever. First Nicole with the dating instead of divorcing, now Lorelai with this.
Lip gloss?
*** Outside Lorelai smiled to herself as she made her way back home. She dropped her purse just inside the door, kicked off her shoes and grinned.
"Lorelai Gilmore on the hunt. Nicole doesn't stand a chance."
--The End
"Luke, I need your help."
Those were bad words. Bad words indeed, especially out of Lorelai's mouth. Not the kind of words he needed to be hearing at 9:30 on Friday night while trying to scrape the remnants of a grilling disaster off of the exhaust fan in the kitchen of the diner.
"No."
"Please."
He paused just long enough to fix her with an appropriately withering stare.
"No."
"Please!"
"I said no!"
"Come on Luke, pleeeeasee? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please with cream and sugar on top? Please?"
Lorelai planted herself in front of him, preventing his escape. All five foot whatever of hyper, sparkly Gilmore. A hyper, sparkly Gilmore in need of...whatever the hell it was she needed this time. A handyman, a footstool, a patsy.
This did not bode well.
"I'm not going to say it again Lorelai. No!"
"But you don't even know what it is yet!"
He heaved a sigh. She wasn't going to let this go. Of course not. This was Lorelai. The pit bull of Stars Hollow. Probably the only person more tenacious than Taylor.
"I don't have to know what it is Lorelai. It's always the same thing. You want something hammered or taped or hung, or you want coffee or a burger in the shape of a pig. There's a bat in the attic, your car needs an oil change, your showerhead spoke to you and needs to be exorcised. Or you want me to dress up in a bunny costume and hop down Main Street. Well, did you ever get the idea that maybe, just maybe, I'd like one evening of peace, one night of no 'Luke, I need'?"
"Wow. That showerhead one was ingenuous. I think I'm rubbing off on you. But no, that's not what I need."
He resisted the urge, however barely, to grind his knuckles into his eye sockets.
"If I cave now, will it make it less painful?"
Lorelai gasped in faux outrage. Yeah, like he was going to buy the innocent routine *now*.
"Luke! When have I ever asked for anything that wasn't quick, simple, utterly painless?"
He ticked them off on his fingers. "Yesterday. Twice. The day before, three times. Tuesday, once. Sunday..."
"Hey! I didn't ask for anything on Sunday!"
"The moles...the ones in the front yard that you swore were mocking you by tunneling under the flower bed and wreaking havoc in the daisies?"
"Okay, so, I've asked for a lot of favors. A ton. A plethora. A multitude. But Luke, this favor is something that only you can provide."
What?
"Only you have the particular skills needed, the right tools for the job. Well, tool."
"Lorelai..."
This had better not be going anywhere near where it sounded like it was going. Okay, maybe going there wouldn't be too bad if it did, but...
"Okay, so Sookie has the right tool too, but..."
"What? Sookie has the tool?"
Lorelai nodded.
Okay, this was completely baffling and bizarre and...Lorelai.
"Well if Sookie has the tool, why not ask for her help?"
"Because, Jackson would probably object. And besides. It's Sookie. I love her to death, she's my best friend, but..."
Lord help him, he was going to regret this.
"Could you please just ask for whatever the hell it is and stop beating around the bush?"
"Well, if you hadn't said no to begin with..."
"Lorelai!"
It took him a moment (because when things happen fast a person is generally slow on the uptake) to figure out what exactly was happening.
Lorelai was kissing him.
She was kissing him. And he was kissing her. There was kissing. Good kissing. Great kissing. He had forgotten to close his eyes, he was thinking too much, but it was kissing and it was Lorelai and you know, the kitchen was really not the spot he had been expecting this to finally happen, but oddly enough she tasted like strawberries and vanilla...
And just as suddenly as it started, she was...not kissing him. Just looking at him with an expectant look from her original location and...did he dream it all?
"So?"
He was beginning to feel like the biggest idiot on the planet, but he had to ask.
"'So' what?"
"My lip gloss."
"What about your lip gloss?"
"I know the color combination is great, but is the strawberry and vanilla combination too overpoweringly sweet? Because I wouldn't want to go kissing a guy and have him be completely turned off. Looking good is one thing, but nauseating a guy at the end of the first date isn't such a great idea."
"You mean this whole...thing has been about the flavor of you lip gloss?!?"
"Yeah."
This had to be the most baffling Lorelai moment ever. It had to be. Nothing made sense. And it didn't help that he could still feel her lips and taste the lip gloss in question.
Licking his lips would also probably be a bad thing right now too.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why me? Why was I needed to test the exact taste of your lip gloss? Why was Sookie the only other choice? Although I guess this explains exactly *why* Jackson would have objected."
"Because you both work with food, which means you have exceptional taste buds."
Lorelai logic at work. Granted, it got him a kiss, but...
"You know, I could ask how you came to that conclusion, but I'm afraid I'd be here all night and still not see the connection. So instead, I'm just going to finish cleaning up, go upstairs and turn on a ball game. Ball games make sense. Einstein's Theory of Relativity makes sense. Right now I'm pretty sure even James Brown would make sense next to you."
He ushered her to the door uncerimoniously and shoved her, sputtering, out into the night.
"So, crazy lady, I bid you good night. And next time you want to test your lip gloss, find another patsy."
He was never going to understand women. Ever. First Nicole with the dating instead of divorcing, now Lorelai with this.
Lip gloss?
*** Outside Lorelai smiled to herself as she made her way back home. She dropped her purse just inside the door, kicked off her shoes and grinned.
"Lorelai Gilmore on the hunt. Nicole doesn't stand a chance."
--The End