Author's notes: This is my first fic. Kaiba recently breaks up with Malik and becomes extremely upset seeking food as a way to stop the pain, except Kaiba starts gaining weight and begins to panic. Oh I excuse myself, I don't mean to offend anyone, I just thought it would have been funny to make fun of Kaiba somehow. Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or the characters, they belong to their respectful owner.
Oh and don't be offended or take any of this seriously...some of the solutions in this story are totally unrealistic
FLAB PANIC
Chapter 2: Egg the bastard!
When the CEO finally got home, he was utterly exhausted from his intense 'jog.' If fact, he never ran so fast in his life. "Curse that balloon head! I knew I should have the limo around," Kaiba hissed under his breath. He never took embarrassment well and this is the worst.
He wanted to have a chat with Mokuba right now, to forget everything that had just happened but the little black haired boy was having a sleepover with one of his friends for a week. Since Mokuba was out of the option, Kaiba's only choice was to work. Work had always been how he avoided the world.
While typing furiously on his laptop, he suddenly heard some slight cracking sound, not the usual glass breaking, but close to an object being smashed onto a wall of some sort and breaking. The brunnette looked at his closest window to see what was causing all the commotion. The window was extrememly high and when he took a peek, only his
Outside of Kaiba Mansion
"Kaiba still isn't coming out to face me!" Malik cursed as he throw another egg at the window.
"Are you sure we're shooting at the room he's usually in?" Yami Bakura cocked his head over, seeking confirmation.
"Hey Kaiba! Get your wussy ass out here!" Malik screamed at the top of his lungs.
"What now...?" came his reply.
"Look, at the window.." Yami Bakura pointed.
"Kaiba..." Malik whispered the name. Of course from the two mischievious boy's level, they could only see the CEO's head.
"Get lost Malik, I don't want to see you anymore," Kaiba retorted. "We have nothing better to say to each other."
"You dumped me! Of course you have nothing to say to me!"
"Then talk Malik, I don't have all day!"
"Uh...I can't think right now..."
"ARGH!" Kaiba stepped back. He wanted to close the window blinds...but the blinds string was 10 foot up in the air. He'd need to grab a chair. He quickly used his desk chair and move it beside the window so he could climb up and pull the blinds down. Without realizing it, his belly was sticking out at the window as he reached for the string. His face however, was not revealed by the windows.
"Hey hey, do you see that thing!" Bakura squealed.
"What thing?" Malik glared.
"It looks like a ball wrapped in cloth."
"What is it...it kinda looks like a body," Malik scratched his head.
"Maybe Kaiba is cheating on you with some other guy," Bakura teased evilly.
"Ra! He chooses this huge sausage boy over me, the worthy son of the Ishtar family!"
"Whatever, let's just get sausage boy," Bakura rolled his eyes and threw an egg.
Kaiba's office room
"Ow ow! What's going on!" Kaiba grumbled in pain as he felt something hit his belly. He bothered to glance down and notice that there were 3 broken eggs on his stomach. "Malik..." Kaiba hissed. He quickly lowered the blinds and stepped off the chair
"Let it go Malik!" Kaiba shouted. "It's over!"
"No! How could it be over!?! Tell me why?!" Malik hollered on his side of the field.
"Look at it this way, we never have time for each other so what's the point? We missed our first date, we missed our second date, and the third, we even missed the date where I said 'Let's break up!'"
"I was there, I'm sure of it...I had Arkana walking around following you," Malik folded his arms as a suggestion to deny the obvious.
"Arkana!?! A date is suppose to be just me and you not your mind slave. Malik you're a sorry excuse of a boyfriend! I don't want you around my house again! Don't me me release the dogs!" The Ceo threatened.
"Bring it on! We'll send all those pitiful creatures to the Shadow Realm, you hear Kaiba!?" Bakura screamed back.
"If you don't accept me back, I'll mind control that fat sausage boy you're around with!" the Eygptian threatened back as well.
'What fat sausage boy?' Kaiba pondered...he could just let Malik believe that so then Malik would get no where...but who was the blond refering to? Realization hit Kaiba, he recalled sticking out his fat at the window. Malik and the tomb robber must have assumed that was another man. Perhaps there was another way out of this. He could reveal to Malik how he looks like now to scare the boy away or he could pretend there really was another man in the CEO's life.
"I'm with George now, you happy?!" Kaiba hollered.
"George? What kind of a loser name is that? George..." Bakura smirked.
"Oh yeah!" Malik panicked then quickly spoke in his desperation, "I'm with Bakura!"
"What are you talking about?" the Albino boy sarcastically snarled.
Malik quickly sends a mind message to his friend, telling of his little plan. *Listen you fool, I have an idea of how to get Kaiba back with me, but you have to cooperate. I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend so he will get jealous!*
"That won't work," Bakura whispered, "he dumped you remember?"
"Oh yeah....nevermind," Malik corrected himself, then return to his clamouring voice towards his ex. "I will kill George, Kaiba just you wait! I'll plot revenge and turn sausage boy into bacon!"
"That's it! Malik, you're asking for it!" Kaiba screamed back and he quickly opened the entire window and stood up on the ledge so the two boys below could see what he has become. Both the blond and the Albino gasped.
"He merged with sausage boy!" Bakura frowned.
"No I didn't! Okay, this is how I look right now!" The brunette yelled back annoyed.
"I don't believe it!" Malik shrieked, "how could you, Kaiba? You're pregnant with George!" Tears began to pool from the Egyptian's eyes and he ran off, with Bakura in hot pursuit.
Kaiba got off the ledge and sighed. At least he got away from those two pyschotic idiots. They may be clever in being evil but in reality, they're dumber than Joey. Guess that's what happens when one is a 5000 yr old spirit who was locked in a ring for most of his life and when one is a boy who lived undergrounds most of his life and didn't know what a tv was until he was older.
All the sudden the phone began to ring, Kaiba reluctantly picked it up and answer, "Kaiba mansion."
"Hello, Kaiba-boy!"
'Oh no,' Kaiba knew who this was, there was only one man in the world who acted gay and was evil at the same time, Pegasus. "What now, Pegasus?"
"Ooooooh...I can hear your thoughts, you've gained weight."
"Yes so? No need to broadcast this to the world."
"Oooooooh I'm sorry Kaiba, perhaps I could help you," Pegasus cooed.
"I'd rather not."
"Awwww...Come on, Kaiba-boy, you know how I feel about you. We could have soooo much fun!"
The CEO could have sworn the hairs on the back of his head were standing up. He shivered, Pegasus has always been disguisting and womanly. Seto didn't even bother to say goodbye, he just hung up while hearing Pegasus say something like, 'NoooooooO, Kaiba-boy!"
'What is this? This must be the worst day of my life, it's bad enough Yugi and his geek friends saw me, and even the people I really don't want to see at the moment saw me and now Pegasus!' The CEO ranted.
The phone rang again and now Kaiba was really annoyed. He quickly answered it but immeadietly regreted it, "Okay, who is it now?"
"Kaaaaiiiibbbaaaaa,...it's meeee, Ishizuuuu....I have come to teeeelll yooouuu your futuuuure"
-TBC
Story from or www.angeltowns.com/members/jackasssims/
Home of the Jackass Yugioh Sims.
Oh and don't be offended or take any of this seriously...some of the solutions in this story are totally unrealistic
Chapter 2: Egg the bastard!
When the CEO finally got home, he was utterly exhausted from his intense 'jog.' If fact, he never ran so fast in his life. "Curse that balloon head! I knew I should have the limo around," Kaiba hissed under his breath. He never took embarrassment well and this is the worst.
He wanted to have a chat with Mokuba right now, to forget everything that had just happened but the little black haired boy was having a sleepover with one of his friends for a week. Since Mokuba was out of the option, Kaiba's only choice was to work. Work had always been how he avoided the world.
While typing furiously on his laptop, he suddenly heard some slight cracking sound, not the usual glass breaking, but close to an object being smashed onto a wall of some sort and breaking. The brunnette looked at his closest window to see what was causing all the commotion. The window was extrememly high and when he took a peek, only his
Outside of Kaiba Mansion
"Kaiba still isn't coming out to face me!" Malik cursed as he throw another egg at the window.
"Are you sure we're shooting at the room he's usually in?" Yami Bakura cocked his head over, seeking confirmation.
"Hey Kaiba! Get your wussy ass out here!" Malik screamed at the top of his lungs.
"What now...?" came his reply.
"Look, at the window.." Yami Bakura pointed.
"Kaiba..." Malik whispered the name. Of course from the two mischievious boy's level, they could only see the CEO's head.
"Get lost Malik, I don't want to see you anymore," Kaiba retorted. "We have nothing better to say to each other."
"You dumped me! Of course you have nothing to say to me!"
"Then talk Malik, I don't have all day!"
"Uh...I can't think right now..."
"ARGH!" Kaiba stepped back. He wanted to close the window blinds...but the blinds string was 10 foot up in the air. He'd need to grab a chair. He quickly used his desk chair and move it beside the window so he could climb up and pull the blinds down. Without realizing it, his belly was sticking out at the window as he reached for the string. His face however, was not revealed by the windows.
"Hey hey, do you see that thing!" Bakura squealed.
"What thing?" Malik glared.
"It looks like a ball wrapped in cloth."
"What is it...it kinda looks like a body," Malik scratched his head.
"Maybe Kaiba is cheating on you with some other guy," Bakura teased evilly.
"Ra! He chooses this huge sausage boy over me, the worthy son of the Ishtar family!"
"Whatever, let's just get sausage boy," Bakura rolled his eyes and threw an egg.
"Ow ow! What's going on!" Kaiba grumbled in pain as he felt something hit his belly. He bothered to glance down and notice that there were 3 broken eggs on his stomach. "Malik..." Kaiba hissed. He quickly lowered the blinds and stepped off the chair
"Let it go Malik!" Kaiba shouted. "It's over!"
"No! How could it be over!?! Tell me why?!" Malik hollered on his side of the field.
"Look at it this way, we never have time for each other so what's the point? We missed our first date, we missed our second date, and the third, we even missed the date where I said 'Let's break up!'"
"I was there, I'm sure of it...I had Arkana walking around following you," Malik folded his arms as a suggestion to deny the obvious.
"Arkana!?! A date is suppose to be just me and you not your mind slave. Malik you're a sorry excuse of a boyfriend! I don't want you around my house again! Don't me me release the dogs!" The Ceo threatened.
"Bring it on! We'll send all those pitiful creatures to the Shadow Realm, you hear Kaiba!?" Bakura screamed back.
"If you don't accept me back, I'll mind control that fat sausage boy you're around with!" the Eygptian threatened back as well.
'What fat sausage boy?' Kaiba pondered...he could just let Malik believe that so then Malik would get no where...but who was the blond refering to? Realization hit Kaiba, he recalled sticking out his fat at the window. Malik and the tomb robber must have assumed that was another man. Perhaps there was another way out of this. He could reveal to Malik how he looks like now to scare the boy away or he could pretend there really was another man in the CEO's life.
"I'm with George now, you happy?!" Kaiba hollered.
"George? What kind of a loser name is that? George..." Bakura smirked.
"Oh yeah!" Malik panicked then quickly spoke in his desperation, "I'm with Bakura!"
"What are you talking about?" the Albino boy sarcastically snarled.
Malik quickly sends a mind message to his friend, telling of his little plan. *Listen you fool, I have an idea of how to get Kaiba back with me, but you have to cooperate. I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend so he will get jealous!*
"That won't work," Bakura whispered, "he dumped you remember?"
"Oh yeah....nevermind," Malik corrected himself, then return to his clamouring voice towards his ex. "I will kill George, Kaiba just you wait! I'll plot revenge and turn sausage boy into bacon!"
"That's it! Malik, you're asking for it!" Kaiba screamed back and he quickly opened the entire window and stood up on the ledge so the two boys below could see what he has become. Both the blond and the Albino gasped.
"He merged with sausage boy!" Bakura frowned.
"No I didn't! Okay, this is how I look right now!" The brunette yelled back annoyed.
"I don't believe it!" Malik shrieked, "how could you, Kaiba? You're pregnant with George!" Tears began to pool from the Egyptian's eyes and he ran off, with Bakura in hot pursuit.
Kaiba got off the ledge and sighed. At least he got away from those two pyschotic idiots. They may be clever in being evil but in reality, they're dumber than Joey. Guess that's what happens when one is a 5000 yr old spirit who was locked in a ring for most of his life and when one is a boy who lived undergrounds most of his life and didn't know what a tv was until he was older.
All the sudden the phone began to ring, Kaiba reluctantly picked it up and answer, "Kaiba mansion."
"Hello, Kaiba-boy!"
'Oh no,' Kaiba knew who this was, there was only one man in the world who acted gay and was evil at the same time, Pegasus. "What now, Pegasus?"
"Ooooooh...I can hear your thoughts, you've gained weight."
"Yes so? No need to broadcast this to the world."
"Oooooooh I'm sorry Kaiba, perhaps I could help you," Pegasus cooed.
"I'd rather not."
"Awwww...Come on, Kaiba-boy, you know how I feel about you. We could have soooo much fun!"
The CEO could have sworn the hairs on the back of his head were standing up. He shivered, Pegasus has always been disguisting and womanly. Seto didn't even bother to say goodbye, he just hung up while hearing Pegasus say something like, 'NoooooooO, Kaiba-boy!"
'What is this? This must be the worst day of my life, it's bad enough Yugi and his geek friends saw me, and even the people I really don't want to see at the moment saw me and now Pegasus!' The CEO ranted.
The phone rang again and now Kaiba was really annoyed. He quickly answered it but immeadietly regreted it, "Okay, who is it now?"
"Kaaaaiiiibbbaaaaa,...it's meeee, Ishizuuuu....I have come to teeeelll yooouuu your futuuuure"
-TBC
Story from or www.angeltowns.com/members/jackasssims/
Home of the Jackass Yugioh Sims.