Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, or anything about it. Just this story that I almost forgot about, lol
Warning: Yaoi, of course. Would you expect anything else from me? Takken, Kenkeru. Whichever. Enjoy ^^
Anniversary's
BlueMoonEmpress
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had taken a different turn somewhere? If you hadn't crossed that street at that particular time… if you had just left work a few minutes earlier… if you hadn't wondered away from your child that sat in the bathtub to get the phone then maybe… maybe…
Thing would have turned out differently.
I've spent half my life wishing, hoping, praying to anything out there that I could go back in time and change all that I've done wrong with my life.
But I can't.
I can't do anything about it and that's what still hurts. It hurts to know that you're the cause of someone's fall and you can't fix it in anyway.
I miss him with all my heart. He might not have always been the nicest to me, but he was still my Onii-san and I still love him with all my heart.
I want to apologize for what I said before it happened. For what I had done that morning.
I also want him to apologize for what he had said and done that made me want to run out of the house and into the streets…
And then I want to say I'm sorry for killing him.
I didn't kill him in the sense that I held the blade that drew his blood. No. But it was me he was trying to save. It was me that was stupid enough to run out onto the streets and into oncoming traffic.
And it was him that was brave enough to go on and save me, sacrificing himself.
I close my eyes sometimes and I can still hear his scream, I can hear the glass shattering from his glasses, but mostly from the window that he smashed into.
I could hear more screams… but these ones come from my own lips, high and shrill… calling out his name and pleading to get an answer, an answer that never came.
I hated myself for what I had done… I was only nine years old and I already wanted to end everything. The pain of losing him - my Onii-san - was too much to bear with.
I just wish that I had been brave enough to end it then…
"Ken?"
"Hmm?" I replied, breaking out of my thoughts.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?"
I didn't answer him.
"Ken?" He asked worriedly, wrapping two arms around my shoulders.
"I don't feel like talking about it now Takeru. Later alright?"
"Later could be next year if you had it your way."
"If that's what it takes to bring things together then… yes."
I felt warm breath on my ear, "You don't need to hide things from me Ken…" Takeru whispered.
"I'm not hiding anything from you Takeru…"
"Maybe not hiding but… you aren't telling me something."
"You don't need to know all my deep dark secrets."
"I may not need to know, but I want to know. I want you to feel like you can share anything with me Ken… even the most stupidest things in the world."
"Are you saying my idea's are stupid?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Never." He kissed said eyebrow. "I'm just saying that I'll always be your ear to vent on."
"I can't do that to you Takeru…"
"Yes you can." He took my face in his palms, "I know you've been through a lot Ken, but you need to understand that I don't care about what you did or thought you might have done in the past. I love you, not the yester-year you, the present you, and I'll worry about the future you when he gets here." Takeru smiled one of his lopsided grins.
I couldn't help but smile myself, a small hint of a flush burning my cheeks. "Takeru?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"I know you do. No one that doesn't love me would keep me around for this long."
My brow furrowed, "What's that supposed to mean?"
He shook his head, "Nothing, just forget it."
"No, if I can't get away with that then neither can you. What did you mean by that?"
"Just that everyone seems to get tired of me after awhile. The only people that haven't are you, Yamato and my parents."
"And the rest of the Digidestined. Takeru they love you."
"I know but… I can see in their eyes that they grow weary of me."
"Weary?"
"You heard me."
I laughed, "Are you ready for bed?"
"Yeah, but hold on a second. I want to go and shut off the AC so we don't freeze to death tonight." I watched as Takeru left our room. "You know, we should really get a knob thing in the bedroom so that we don't have to travel so much." He yelled from the living room.
"Sounds like an idea." I answered, shifting between the covers.
"Much better." Takeru said walking over to the other side of the bed. "Are you warmer now?"
"I will be once you get in here."
"Well… if you put it that way." Takeru grinned, snaking through the covers.
I snuggled up against him, "I was thinking about my brother…" I laid my head down on Takeru's chest. "It'll be the anniversary of his death next week…"
"I'm sorry Ken." Takeru told him as he softly played with his hair.
My eyes closed, "It's alright… it comes by every year. It just hurts to remember sometimes…"
"I understand. Just rest now Ken, things will look better in the morning."
"Hmm… you're right Takeru… I love you."
"I love you too Ken."
End.
---BlueMoonEmpress---