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Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That

Chapter Two ll Of Hogs, Warts And Chickens

"Hogwarts... Hogwarts... Hoggy Warty... Hogwarts. Teach us something ple-e-ease - "

"Yeah, yeah, whether we be old or bold, or young with scabb-ey knees, yo!"

"Our heads could do... with filling... with some interesting... stuff..."

"For now they're bare! Yeah, I'll say it again, BARE, and full of a - a - AIR! Dead flies, huh, and bits of fluff, yeah!"

Sirius and James were having a face-off in a colourful singing competition of the beloved school song; James was singing in a melodramatic, slow and heartbroken tone while Sirius was doing a fast-paced rap. Everyone else was clutching at their ears in pain, except for Emily who found the display uncommonly funny.

The eight of them were squished in one compartment. Lily and James had finished their patrolling assignment and were now enjoying a thoroughly enjoyable time with their enjoyable friends. Enjoyable? Certainly.

"Please stop," groaned Meddy, rubbing her temples. "You have got to understand me. I have always loved the school song up until this moment."

James dropped his melodramatic tune and made a childish face, "You're so mean."

"Oh really?" Meddy couldn't help a grin. "How?"

"Like when you screamed at poor Jam that he killed Lilykins just because he became Head Boy," Sirius joined in. Then he added in a whisper, "James is really sensitive, but he doesn't like for anyone to know. SHH!"

They all chortled while James sat placidly, looking at Lily with a familiar twinkle in his hazel eyes. The redhead noticed this after a moment and said before he opened his mouth, "No, Potter."

James' mouth dropped open, "How did you even know what I was going to say?"

Lily looked agitated and rubbed her temples much like Meddy had done just before. "Because I've been accustomed to that look for the last four years now and it always pre-empts a question I wish would disappear off the face of the planet."

"That question?" James raised his eyebrows as the others broke off into their own conversations. "Oh, pumpkin, I wasn't going to ask you that."

"Liar," Lily said, somewhat amused.

"No, honestly. I wasn't going to ask you that."

"Mmm."

"Lily."

"Mmm."

"Lily."

"Mmm."

"Lily...."

"Okay, fine!" Lily exploded, emerald eyes ablaze as she fixed them upon the offender. "What were you going to ask, Potter?"

He gave her a cheesy smile which usually succeeded in making most girls melt. "Will you go out with me?"

No words could express the frustration that boiled in Lily right at that moment; she felt as though she was rapidly being filled with hot water and steam seemingly shot out of her ears as she shrieked, "NO!"

James frowned, "But why not?"

"Uh, James, do you really want to know the answer - ?" Penny asked tentatively, but Lily had already tossed aside her copy of the Duibblerdog magazine and was facing James with a fiery expression, hands on her hips in a characteristic way. The others stopped talking.

"You want to know why? Fine!" the redhead took a deep breath. "You are arrogant, Potter - beyond arrogant, and it is a trait I detest in most people but in you, it's ten times more unattractive and terrible. You - you're so inconsiderate towards others. You'd hex someone for looking sideways at you!"

"I object; Prongsie stopped that last year," Sirius interrupted, holding up his hand as if he were voting.

"Shut up," Penny hissed at him.

"I don't know what's wrong with Dumbledore," continued Lily heatedly. "But given that Hogwarts had a Headmaster half-sane, they definitely wouldn't have given the badge to you! You don't deserve it - ugh - in fact, I might as well resign right now. This is a joke!"

She finished, breathing heavily and glaring at James right in the eye, who returned the look somewhat soberly. Seeing that he had nothing to say, Lily let out a little shriek of irritation and stomped out of the compartment.

"Gasp," Sirius said, looking shocked.

"I'll say," Remus murmured.

"She called Dumbledore half-insane!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Uh," Penny said in the subdued silence. "I'll go talk to her." She left the compartment quickly and chased after Lily, leaving the other two and the Marauders sitting in their spots looking dazed.

"Is... is that what she really thinks of me?" James managed to say.

Emily raised an eyebrow, "You honestly didn't know already? James, how about I remind you of the time we were down at the lake after our Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.?"

"Well, I thought things might've improved since then."

"She didn't call you a toe rag, at least," Sirius said nonchalantly. "That's got you up a notch."

Meanwhile, Penny found Lily standing by the window outside in the corridor, silently fuming in her famous Lily Evans Silently Fuming way.

"Lil..." Penny started softly, but the redhead sighed and looked dolefully at her best friend.

"Pen, why can't I control my temper when I'm around him?" she asked, looking honestly lost and confused. Really, Lily and James had been getting along better since fifth year and she would sometimes (very) grudgingly call him a friend. Today was the first time in a long while that she had really gotten riled up at him.

Maybe it was all the emotion of this Head Boy and Head Girl business. Lily really hoped Penny was about to suggest that.

But all Penny said was, "Well, there's always that person that gets right under our skin, no matter how hard we try not to let them." She smiled and put an arm around her friend, leading her back to their compartment.

Lily made a face, "You make him sound like my significant other."

"Hmm."

Choosing to ignore that, Lily wondered out loud, "But how am I even going to work with him this whole year?"

"Well, give him a chance," Penny said reasonably as they continued to walk. "Dumbledore's a bit questionable sometimes, but he's smarter than Merlin probably ever was and we should always trust his judgement. He's chosen James and even McGonagall's agreed, so I suppose that means James is right for the position... side-by-side with you."

Lily was silent with thought for a moment, before smiling ruefully and tilting her head so that it bumped into Penny's. "I hate it when you're right, Pen."

Penny chuckled, bumping her head back, "I got your back, Lil."

When the two girls returned to their compartment, they found Sirius and Emily performing what was known in the Muggle world as the "chicken dance". James caught Lily's eye and opened his mouth to speak, but she gave him a weak smile to let him know it was okay. Sort of. Well, she probably needed to apologise too, so now it was even.

Meddy's face lit up when they returned. "Oh, thank goodness," she said, clinging to Lily's arm. "Head Girl, please make them stop." She pointed imploringly at Em and Sirius and Lily's face twitched.

"Hey, honestly, how old are you two? How about we do something else that's not the chicken dance?"

"But the chicken dance is awesome!" Em pouted.

"I know, I know!" Sirius exclaimed, waving his arms everywhere to get everyone's attention and narrowly missing Peter's face. "Let's play..."

"What?"

"...SARDINES!"

They all groaned.

A/N: We got a strike today! Lovely to get off school... so we watched Legally Blonde 2 and had an alright time... Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! 18! Ahahaha. - msq.