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Twelfth Chapter: Polishing Your Broomstick

This is an activity that is much overlooked, seen as an unnecessary distraction by many wizards. We would like to stress the importance of this, and add that your witch may well thank you for the mastery of the technique. We would also like to remind you that practice makes perfect in all forms of the game, and just as you may find a solo flying lesson helpful, so you may find some good quality time spent maintaining your broomstick.

You may have heard rumours that polishing your own broom may lead to unfortunate physical abnormalities. These are more likely to be the result of hexes than any direct causal relation. Should these occur - such as sprouting twigs from your hands, inability to see the snitch, or an excess of boils - you are advised to consult your local curse-breaker or Medi-witch. In the appendix you will also find a list of common hexes, and how they may be removed.

Such pranks are the result of the immature player failing to appreciate the need for a firm grip on the capabilities of his equipment. It is a normal and natural activity for a healthy young sportsman such as yourself to be involved in, and neither is it confirmed merely to ranks of the not so young. The implication of the insult is that a person who chooses to fly solo does so only because they are unable to get a quaffle through the hoop. Might we remind you that "seekers always get the snitch" is true because they are solo fliers, as well as being part of the team. There is nothing to stop them handling a quaffle, they choose not to. However they need the help of their team-mates to catch the snitch, and to make it worthwhile.

It is perhaps a lesser known fact that witches enjoy this activity, in particular the delicate manipulation of their own quaffles, and it is possible to enjoy the care and maintenance of your precious Nimbus to mutual advantage. There is a school of thought that for one to get the best out of a game, first you must know the moves that you can execute, and how they are best achieved. Only then can you teach them. Others espouse the method that practise makes perfect, and that is fun to explore together. It being a practice, there are no limits to how many times you catch the snitch nor how many ways there are of finding it in the first place.

There are a few people labouring under the misapprehension that anything less than the quaffle through the central hoop is not a real game, nor does it count when making tallies. Aside from the obvious - that making tallies is not Good Sporting Behaviour - we would say that mutual maintenance does come under the heading of a significant event, and should not be over-looked.

Technique and Timing
Polishing your broomstick can be used as a warm up for the main game, or as a game in its own right. This versatile activity can be done on its own, or in the presence of others, and should not be underestimated for the variations that can be executed on this theme.
It can be used to test your equipment, to find your preferred flying style, and to improve your endurance and technique. It can also be used to check the health of your broom, and is not solely confined to the shaft, but also the twigs and golden snitches, ensuring that the charms linking them are smooth, and that sensation is not impaired.

You may like to experiment with different techniques _ the simplest is to grip the shaft like you would your Nimbus _ firmly but gentle, and adjust your grip according to comfort and required response.
You make your own hoop, using your fingers to encircle the shaft, and then practice scoring with the quaffle, adjusting to check your accuracy through different sizes of hoop.

As you develop a more intimate understanding of your own equipment, you may find that a good polish can make all the difference. There are several sorts available commercially, and of course it is possible to make your own, using simple ingredients to enhance sensation, and to leave your shaft well nourished and glossy.

If you decide to use a commercial polish, try rubbing it in using different techniques _ small circles can be very effective, as can very light touches, and as satisfying in their results as more strenuous efforts. You may find that your witch is a source of good information on rubbing in polish, and that it extends far further than simply the shaft.

If you should choose to polish you witch, you may like to ask for a demonstration of how she likes it done. Follow closely, and note well what she finds preferable. Of course, one of the best natural polishes is saliva. How you choose to administer this _ whether directly or indirectly, is of course up to you. It is not advisable to mix commercial polishes with the former technique.

Polishing your broomstick in the presence of your witch, and not doing the same for her is very bad sportsmanship, and we refer you to the two following chapters for advice about technique and registering the score.

It is not true that excessive practice will lead to insanity, stunting growth, nor is there a limit to the number of times in your life that you can polish your broom.


Appendix
Pilomanus Hairy hands
Hobbipod Hairy feet - both of these can be dealt with using Mitige! You are advised to this a little at a time, or you may find yourself going bald.
OrCaecos Golden Blindness
Mulceopudendis Soft Shaft. Do not counter this with a viagra charm _ it can lead to severe complications, including engorgement of the whole area which can be far more difficult to deal with. There is also the possibility that this is not caused by a hex.
*Priapus _ also known as the fourth unforgiveable. This can only be lifted by consensual sexual activity between two people. This is not a joke curse, and should not be treated as such. Although it is not technically an unforgiveable, its use against the will of the participants is subject to a sentence in Azkaban of varying duration, dependent on intent.
Insanificate _ The basic madness curse. Results in disorientation, and disordered thought. An unpleasant curse, but wears off quite rapidly. Similar in nature to a Confundus curse.
Curtosis _ In wizarding terms this means the actual loss of height, which can result in the the topical or general application of a charm, hex, cloak or potion. There is a need to prove the loss in height before any rectifications are made, as the solutions available will not deal with simple genetics, and may have some horrific results.
Hobbitosis _ hairy feet, with or without curtosis. You may well be turning into a hobbit. This is a normal state for some, but is not always seen as being desirable. If it is a hex, it will wear off without intervention within a maximum of a week. If itÅfs not, deal with it.

A/N: *Priapus belongs to Abby, from the tale "the fourth unforgiveable" on
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