Never Alone
~ ~ ~
A Short Story Songfic By; LegolasLover2003
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The sky was bright, for war had passed and word had return to the citadel that the free peoples of Middle-earth were just that... free.
Faramir stood upon one of the citadel's many balconies, this one overlooking the ruined and distraught Pelennor Fields. Not long ago they had undergone one of the greatest battles of this age. Now, they were barren. A desolate waste as far as the eye could see, right up to the mountains. In the distance, were the ruins of Osgiliath. The Steward sighed as he looked upon those broken walls. Walls which had shattered his own dreams...
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~ ~ ~ Hey dad look at me
~ ~ ~ Think back and talk to me
~ ~ ~ Did I grow up according to plan?
~ ~ ~ And do you think I'm wasting my time
~ ~ ~ Doing things I wanna do?
~ ~ ~ But it hurts when you disapprove all along
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Denethor, his own father and reigning Steward of Gondor, had passed away before the battle was even over. He had been consumed by fear, grief, and a madness which had descended upon him at the end. Faramir had been told this by Peregrin Took, the young Halfling which had been accepted as a guard before the great war began. Pippin, as he was known to others, had saved Faramir's life when Denethor had tried to kill them both. The young man shuddered as he thought of the sanity which surely must have fled his own father.
But now, Faramir was alone with none by his side. Boromir had died before the Nine Walkers split their journey, and his mother had passed long years ago. The young Steward of Gondor had noone to look to for comfort at the end of such dark times. He had noone to tell his innermost thoughts to, though he had never discussed such things with his father. Boromir on the other hand... Ai, he was like Faramir's other half and, without him, he thought he would surely die as well.
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~ ~ ~ And now I try hard to make it
~ ~ ~ I just want to make you proud
~ ~ ~ I'm never gonna be good enough for you
~ ~ ~ I can't pretend that I'm all right
~ ~ ~ And you can't change me
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When news of Boromir's death had reached Gondor, Denethor was furious. For this, Faramir never told his father of the strange vision he had experienced while on the banks of the Anduin.
Denethor had quickly changed. It was worse then ever in those last few weeks. The Steward had blamed everything on his youngest and only surviving son. The fall of Osgiliath had apparently been Faramir's fault, though the young Captain had been given nowhere near enough men to hold back the overwhelming forces of Mordor. Faramir knew... he believed it with all of his heart... that Denethor wished his youngest dead instead of his precious Boromir.
However, this did not make Faramir hate his brother, but only miss him all the more. With the bulk of his father's grief given out upon him, the young man could do nothing.
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~ ~ ~ 'Cuz we lost it all
~ ~ ~ Nothing lasts forever
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
~ ~ ~ Now it's just too late and we can't go back
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
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"What made you hate me so, father?" Faramir asked to the wind as a cool and gentle breeze ruffled his hair. "Did I disappoint you? Did I ever display cowardice? Or reluctance? Did I ever dishonor the name of Gondor and of our house?"
He closed his eyes, listening to the wind about him, yet no answer came.
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~ ~ ~ I try not to think
~ ~ ~ About the pain I feel inside
~ ~ ~ Did you know you used to be my hero?
~ ~ ~ All the days you spent with me
~ ~ ~ Now seem so far away
~ ~ ~ And it feels like you don't care anymore
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"Was I such a unworthy son?" he whispered, sighing and hanging his head.
He longed to see his brother and father once more. Some part of him, deep in his core, knew that Boromir had died bravely and he was going to ask King Elessar about it if he ever got the chance, but of his father...
Faramir wanted only one thing from Denethor... and that was to know if he had ever been loved.
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~ ~ ~ And now I try hard to make it
~ ~ ~ I just want to make you proud
~ ~ ~ I'm never gonna be good enough for you
~ ~ ~ I can't stand another fight
~ ~ ~ And nothing's alright
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Hot tears welled in the man's eyes, but he pushed them aside. Too long he had lived under his father's eyes and now felt shame for even letting such a weakness come to the surface.
"Boromir... you once told me father loved me in his own way. Even Mithrandir said this to me before I rode for Osgiliath... but why? Why do I feel so alone?"
But once more, the wind did not answer him.
Faramir had wanted his father to be proud of him, not to scorn and shun him. Denethor had sent him into Osgiliath to die on that fateful day... and he almost had.
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~ ~ ~'Cuz we lost it all
~ ~ ~ Nothing lasts forever
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
~ ~ ~ Now it's just too late and we can't go back
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
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'He sent me to my death. He tried to burn me alive. He wanted me to die in the stead of my brother, whom was countless leagues away. How can I love him? He never loved me.' Faramir thought, watching the sunset before him. 'He hated me...' the words turned over and over in his mind. 'I never proved myself to him. I was never the Captain he wanted me to be. I was the youngest and the weakest. I failed him... I failed Gondor...'
"No..." Faramir whispered, interrupting those dark thoughts, "'Tis my father's voice I hear in my head, not mine own."
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~ ~ ~ Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
~ ~ ~ Nothing's gonna make this right again
~ ~ ~ Please don't turn your back
~ ~ ~ I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
~ ~ ~ But you don't understand
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"Lord Faramir?" A soft voice spoke from behind him, though not so soft as to appear meek or helpless.
The young man turned to see Eowyn standing just within the arch of the balcony.
"My lord? What troubles you?" she asked, clearly seeing that Faramir was indeed troubled.
He knew that he had nearly been crying and that it was plain to see. But the man turned and looked back out across the land.
"'Tis nothing, my lady." he whispered, "Just voices of the dead come to torment me in this joyous time."
Faramir had not meant for the woman to hear his comment, but she had nonetheless. The Shield Maiden of Rohan walked even closer, standing at his side before the balcony.
"The dead's voices?" she asked, "Your conscience is guilty, my lord?"
"No." he stated, anger filling him for the first time. "Yes... I... I do not know." Faramir replied, turning to her. "I have not been given the time to grieve for my brother and now my father has passed as well. I am alone and, for the first time in my life, unsure of where my path shall lead me." he looked at her for a moment, before continuing. "Half of me is dead, with Boromir's spirit gone... and now... now the only other person who I have ever cared for is dead as well, driven mad and murdered by his own fears." his voice quieted and the man's eyes roamed back to the now loaming dark of night. "I know not even if he loved me in the end..." came his faint whisper.
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~ ~ ~ 'Cuz we lost it all
~ ~ ~ Nothing lasts forever
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
~ ~ ~ Now it's just too late and we can't go back
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
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Eowyn smiled sadly and covered his hand, which was resting upon the balcony railing, with her own. "Sometimes, my lord, we do not know the last thoughts of our loved ones as they pass. But we must believe them to be pure and happy, for how else can we go on in life? Your father loved you, or so I have heard. He tried to murder you, Faramir, but it was because he was driven mad by the Dark Lord's words. Denethor believed the end to be near, and he did not wish you to be tortured and perish at the hands of Orcs and Goblins. In his own twisted way, he cared for you deeply." she looked up at him, "I have also heard, that he wept upon seeing you wounded..."
Faramir looked at the woman in astonishment, "Who has said this?" he asked.
"Gandalf. So has the Hobbit, Pippin as well." she replied. "Do not let your grief turn you cold, Faramir. Your people need you... I need you." there, she had spoken it. Eowyn had let fall words which she had harbored for days on end. "You were there for me, my lord, in my darkest days of grief and despair. Let me be here for you as well... by your side."
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~ ~ ~ 'Cuz we lost it all
~ ~ ~ Nothing lasts forever
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
~ ~ ~ Now it's just too late and we can't go back
~ ~ ~ I'm sorry I can't be perfect
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It suddenly seemed to Faramir, that things were not so dark after all. He still grieved and missed Boromir horribly, and his own father's passing hit him hard as well. Yet, as the new Steward of Gondor stood on the citadel balcony, looking out over Minas Tirith and the outlaying lands, things seemed better. A ray of light pierced through the darkness of his mind as he realized that he was not alone. He had indeed found someone to share his troubles with. To share his doubts and fears, his humor and his laughter, the happy moments and the sad.
His father may have hated him, but Eowyn was right. He could not dwell on something he could not control. His brother may be gone, but the memory of him and his deeds would live on in his heart and the heart of the people for ages to come.
Faramir could grieve another day. However, what was left of this evening, he would share in the company of one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.
"Thank you, my lady." he said, kissing the top of her hand.
She blushed slightly, before looking up into the man's eyes. Neither knew how it happened, but a few moments later they embraced in a kiss which would seal their fates forever.
Faramir knew now... he was not alone. And he never would be again.
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THE END
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Disclaimer: I do not own Faramir, Eowyn, Denethor, Boromir, Minas Tirith, Gondor, Rohan, The Pelennor Fields, The Dark Lord, Mordor, King Elessar, Osgiliath, Pippin/Peregrin Took, The Nine Walkers, Anduin, Orcs, Goblins, The Free Peoples of Middle-earth, Uruk-Hai, Halflings, Stewards of Gondor, Shield Maidens of Rohan, Mithrandir/Gandalf, or any other thing mentioned in this story which is from Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" universe.
Basically, I own nothing.
Also, the song used is titled, "Perfect" by Simple Plan.
I do not own that either.
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Author's Note:
Okay... this is the FIRST fanfic for LOTR that I've done that has nothing to do with Legolas...
DUM DUM DUM!
I don't like Eowyn much... but she's beginning to grow on me oddly enough. I adore Faramir though.
Course... I like all of'em!
Legolas, Aragorn, Faramir, Boromir, Eomer, Pippin, Merry, Frodo, and Sam! (speaking in movie-verse... cause I like Elladan and Elrohir too... mwahahaha!)
But, tell me what you think... and don't kill me if it wasn't well done.
I was distracted by my Eomer action figure (I figured out he could draw his sword from his sheath... kinda... sorta) and I was having him fight my Pippin action figure, which was kinda boring because Pippin hates his sword.
But anyway...
I hope you all enjoyed it and I look forward to your reviews and to you guys all reading my other stories!
Laters!!!