Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That

Chapter Eight ll Flippin' Problems

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The Marauders were casually striding towards the Great Hall for breakfast, with James in lead. He was acting extremely pricky and hexed almost everyone that passed him.

"Prongs, what's the matter with--" Sirius started to ask anxiously, when James suddenly stopped walking, causing his three friends to stop abruptly as well.

"Stop," James hissed. He glanced sideways and Sirius saw that he was staring beadily at a sixth-year Hufflepuff that was walking on the other side of the corridor.

"Hey, you!" James hissed.

The Hufflepuff paused and turned around, "Me?"

"Who else?" James said boredly, "What time did you wake up this morning?"

"Err... around seven," the boy answered, looking confused, "Why does it matter?"

" 'Cause of this," James said, pointing his wand and saying, "Scourgify!"

The Hufflepuff instantly dropped his books and fell to his knees, clutching at his throat. Bubbles and foam began to froth at his mouth, and he made gagging noises.

"Potter!" screamed a familiar voice.

"Thank Merlin," Remus breathed as a furious Lily Evans came striding down the corridor. She ran to the Hufflepuff's side, took out her wand and said, "Revesia scourgify!"

He stopped choking on the bubbles and tried to breathe.

Lily bent down, "Are you okay?"

"I -- I feel sick," he gasped, on all fours. Then he threw up. Wincing, Lily murmured a cleaning spell and helped him up.

"C'mon, let's get you to the Hospital Wing. Uhh... Remus, can you take him?"

"Sure," Remus obliged, walking forward, "Um, see you guys later..."

He accompanied the Hufflepuff to the Hospital Wing.

Lily then turned her towering rage to James. She took a few strides forward and grabbed him by the tie, but it just came loose and fell off.

"Oh, trying to undress me now, Evans?" James said seductively, winking at her.

A furious red stained her cheeks as she grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the wall.

BAM.

Peter and Sirius winced.

Ooh, that had to hurt.

"Potter, what the hell is your flippin' problem?" she snarled, "You've sent ten innocent people to the Hospital Wing, and don't say you didn't because I just went to see them and they said it was you who hexed them. I really thought you'd grown out of that stage. What kind of sick eco-maniac are you? You enjoy watching other people suffer, is that right? Huh?"

She had been jabbing him in the chest roughly. Her anger and raging showed no signs of how upset she had been the night before.

"Evans," James said coolly, gently taking her hands off him, "As much as I like you touching me, I must say your roughne--"

SLAP.

Overcome by the fury and confusement that had consumed her, Lily had slapped him hard across the face.

Sirius and Peter winced again.

James just stared at her, completely dumbfounded.

Lily didn't seem to realise what she had done. Now looking immensely satisfied, she took a deep breath and calmed down. Folding her arms across her chest, she said quietly, "You know, Potter, I really thought you had changed this year. Even just a little, it'd be better than nothing. But I was wrong."

Shaking her head, she bent down, picked up his fallen tie and shoved it into his chest.

"Good riddance."

She walked off.

There was silence.

"Oh, she's majorly PMSing," James murmured, looping his tie around his neck.

"Dude, that was wicked," Sirius said in awe, wide-eyed, "But she has a point, Prongs. Why did you start hexing people again? It isn't because she was acting like a... like a drama queen last night, is it?"

"I told you; I've stopped trying to be someone else. I'm just going to be myself from now on," James said stubbornly, "This is who I am. If she can't learn to like that, then too bad"

Instead of Sirius keeping his mouth shut like James expected him to, he shook his head and said, "Prongs, you are sad."

"I agree," Peter piped up.

James stared at them, "What?"

"You know flippin' well that you didn't change for Lily this year. You changed in fourth year, when you first started liking her. You changed into this self-centered little jerk, if you don't mind me saying, to impress her," Sirius retorted, "This year and a bit of last, you changed, alright. You changed back to who you used to be, and, if you haven't noticed, Lily has started falling for you. And I'm hungry now, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to breakfast."

He swept off, leaving James to ponder in a pile of deep thoughts.

Peter gave him a meaningful look before hurrying after Sirius.

James stood there, then sighed. Sirius was right. Whenever Sirius spoke so seriously and intelligently, he was right. He was a prick. The person he had become this year was the person he was.

And what Sirius said... Lily was falling for him. For the person he was.

Ahh, I've been a jerk.

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Lily stormed into the Great Hall, found her spot at the Gryffindor table and practically slammed herself into her seat beside Emily.

"Whoa, what's wrong now?" Emily asked good-naturedly, pouring Lily some orange juice.

"Thanks Em... it's Potter. I dunno what's gotten into him, but I'd give him a good kick in the--"

"Pass the toast, Pen," Meddy said quickly.

"--to get it out of him again," Lily finished. Still scowling, she bit into a muffin and hid behind Emily's latest edition of the Duibblerdog.

Penny looked up towards the double doors.

"Oh, no," she whimpered, quickly dropping her half-eaten toast and gathering her stuff, "I have to go now--"

"PENNY!"

A rather enthusiastic Sirius Black came bounding down the hall, looking ready to engulf someone into a big hug.

"Ahh, rats," Penny sighed, looking a bit panicked, "Someone hide me... --OOF!"

Sirius was hugging her tightly.

"Did you miss me?" he asked her.

"Sirius, get off me," Penny exclaimed, batting him away, "And no, I will not go out with you, and I have to go now... To get to class early and finish my homework--"

"I'll come!"

"No you won't. Err-- there are muffins here, eat them and pass out... Um, see ya!" Penny raced off.

Sirius stared after her, and Emily swore that his carefully spiked-up hair seemed to wilt.

"Why doesn't she like me?" he asked mournfully, pouting as he stared at Penny's half-eaten toast.

Meddy patted his hand, as Lily was still fuming over the Duibberdog, "Oh, she likes you okay enough, Sirius."

"Yeah," Emily chimed in, "She once told me that if you weren't such a player, she was sure she'd have a crush on you."

Sirius' face lit up, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Ooh, yay," and he grabbed the nearest scone and stuffed it into his mouth.

A minute later, James came walking towards them, with Remus closely behind.

"Hey everyone," Remus greeted, sitting down and looking around, "Great, they have scones today."

"With cream too," was what people guessed Sirius said.

James didn't sit down or say anything. He stood near them for a little while, staring at one particular girl. This particular girl had immediately stopped reading the Duibblerdog when she, out of the corner of her eye, saw James approaching.

She now pretended to be completely absorbed in reading the trashy magazine.

A few seconds later, she found herself digging her nails into her palm. Her hands were clenched into fists because she was feeling so tense. Finally, Lily threw the magazine aside and turned to James, "What, Potter?"

A smile unfurled across his face, "What? Is it against the law to stare at a pretty gi--"

"Yes," Lily folded her arms firmly and repeated I will not think of yesterday, I will not think of yesterday. James is not cute nor sweet nor loving in her head.

"Well, then," James said carelessly, "I don't suppose I did break the law, as you aren't pretty. You're the most gorgeous girl ever--"

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily said through clenched teeth. Her heart was pounding madly because no boy had ever told her she was gorgeous or even pretty, and no boy had ever held her the way James did, or kissed her the way he did.

Don't think about it.

"Lily, can I please talk to you in private?"

"As long as you promise not to snog me," Lily said haughtily, returning back to her breakfast. He had called her "Lily", instead of "Evans". He wasn't acting as pratty as before.

There was hope!

"Sorry, no can do."

"Fine. Sod off, then."

"Merlin, lighten up. I was only joking," James said a little irritatedly, his hand jumping towards his hair but he managed to stop it, "You know, taking the mickey?"

"Yes," Lily said with a sigh, watching him slowly move his hand back down to his side.

"So come on..." James beckoned her, and Lily glanced around at her friends. Emily shrugged and Meddy titled her head towards James.

She got up and followed James out of the Great Hall, towards a secluded corner.

"I'm sorry," he said instantly.

Lily was so taken-aback she stumbled and grabbed onto his arm to steady herself.

"Huh? For what?"

"For being a jackass," James said with a sheepish smile, "I was a little heated up last night and I felt really bad this morning so I decided to-- hex people. And I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Lily stared at him for a moment.

"Apology accepted," she finally said, to James' devout relief, "But uhh... you know what you said last night...? About... how you might not like the way someone loves you but they still love you with all their heart?"

She bit her lip and James smiled at her obvious discomfort.

"What about it, pumpkin?" he asked slyly, coming closer to her.

"Stay away, I know karate!" Lily said at once, throwing up her arms.

"Heh, you wish," James grinned sloppily, "Come over here, pumpkin."

"Why?"

"I want to hug you."

"Potter..." she wailed.

"Yes?" he said with a smile. He moved behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I don't want you to do this anymore," Lily finally said softly, unable to bring herself to move out of his loving hold.

James snorted and kissed the side of her head, "If you really didn't want me to, then you wouldn't still be here."

Realising he was right, Lily sighed deeply.

"So what about what I said last night?" James asked, holding onto her tighter. He had his little pumpkin in his arms, and that was all that mattered. He just knew it couldn't last, because Lily was to stubborn to admit her feelings for him.

Her hair smelt like peaches, too.

And James liked peaches.

"Did you..." Lily's voice trailed off, "...mean it?"

James said nothing for a little while. He buried his nose in her neck and murmured, "You know I love you, pumpkin."

Lily's heart started to beat madly again. She must've stiffened up because James released her.

Suddenly, she felt something bounce off her head.

"Hey!" Lily bent down and saw a Jelly Slug on the floor. She picked it up and frowned at it.

Some more Jelly Slugs showered down. Among them also came a few Chocolate Frogs.

"It's raining candy!" Lily cried gleefully, looking up with her hands held out.

James also looked up and smiled.

"The prank is in order!" he yelled. Then he ran off.

"What prank?" Lily yelled after him, aghast.

James turned around and grinned, blowing a kiss back at her.

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A/N: Sorry for the loooong time it took me update. Homework and school itself takes up alot of my time on the computer. I liked this chapter. O Yes, I know a first!!! Lol. Well, I said I'd get more funny parts into the story when school starts again (for me) since funny stuff happens to me. I've got one thing that was funny, but until next week (today is a weekend. YAY!!) I'll have to wait. --MSQ.